specially marked

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Strong Bad Email #194
watch rated love poems
"...fundamentally-sound college basketball players."

Strong Bad educates us on the free toys found in cereal boxes.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner

Places: Computer Room, Strong Badia, Marzipan's House

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: April 21, 2008

Running Time: 3:08

Page Title: Lappy 486

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} If everybody in the world checked their email, the Internet would probably break.

{Strong Bad reads 'Hey ho, Strongbad' as 'Hey! Ho! Strongbad!' and 'cerial' as 'keh-ree-al'.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Ooh, I'm glad you asked, Problem Brian. I've been wanting to give specially marked boxes of cereal a specially marked piece of my mind for some time now.

{A dotted-line circle appears near the top of Strong Bad's head. Two lines appear, going from the circle to a new circle, this time larger and in front of Strong Bad's head. In the bigger circle, there is a picture of Strong Bad's brain.}

STRONG BAD: I choose...this piece.

{An arrow points to a spot on the left side of Strong Bad's brain. He clears the screen, and the circles disappear.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well before you get the toys inside, you first have to navigate the treacherous, jaggedy rock filled class 5 rapids of specially marked cereal box fake outs! Luckily, I'm a lame sandal wearing hippie with a ponytail that's been down these rapids with groups of tourists many times!

{Cuts to Strong Badia, where Strong Bad and The Cheat, wearing a ponytail and a helmet, respectively, are in the 'Riverquest Safariventure' box, with a hose running in front of it.}

STRONG BAD: Ok, gang, now I'm gonna need everyone to lean hard to the right! {Strong Bad pulls out some sort of microphone and makes a clicking noise}

{Cut to Marzipan's kitchen. Strong Bad walks in from the right.}

STRONG BAD: The first hazard you have to watch out for is cereals with anything grown in Iowa in the name. You know...

{As Strong Bad says the items, boxes of Corn Flakes, Wheat Chaff, Oh T'meel, Cripsy Hog Crunchities, and Fundament-o's appear, in that order.}

STRONG BAD: ...corn, wheat, oats, hogs, fundamentally-sound college basketball players. Please, to stay away from these. Those cereals only ever put fitness-related crap in specially marked boxes.

{A picture of a step counter appears against a blue background. In flashing letters on the bottom, it says 'One Free TakesteppaTM Step Take Monitor!}

STRONG BAD: {Voiceover} Oh, great! I can count how many steps I took today!

{A picture of a defibrillator appears on-screen. At the top of the screen, it reads 'Clear?! One FreeTM Defib Kit Inside!}

STRONG BAD: {Voiceover} Fantastic! I can restart my heart if it stops!

{Cut back to Marzipan's kitchen, where Strong Bad's face is on a box of 'Hypothetic-O's'.}

STRONG BAD: What you do want to look for are cereals with sound effects in the name.

{The box flies off-screen. When Strong Bad names the sound effects, boxes of Fruit Smax, Chocolate Breakfast Candy Bar Pops, Soundy Puffs, Blue Laser Blasts, and Sugar Rittled Gunshots in a Crowded Mall appear in order.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Smacks, pops, puffs, blasts, and, um, gunshots in a crowded mall.

{Cut to Strong Bad standing in the kitchen. X, explosion, boxing glove, square, shoe, and Marshie shaped marshmallows appear around him.}

STRONG BAD: You know, the kind with the squarish, sugared pieces of styrofoam that they claim are marshmallows. These are guaranteed to have a nice, big—

{Cut to a dirty Strong Bad hand reaching in the box of Cheat Commandos...O's}

STRONG BAD: —reach-your-nasty-unwashed-hand-straight-to-the-bottom-of-the-box toy in it.

{Cut to Strong Bad standing in the kitchen with a box of Fruit Smax on the table.}

STRONG BAD: Next up are the three most useless letters in the specially marked alphabet.

{Zoom to Strong Bad's mouth}

STRONG BAD: U...P...C.

{Cut back to Strong Bad standing.}

STRONG BAD: If you spot these wastes of serif on a cereal box,

{Cut to a bar code}

STRONG BAD: turn and run as fast as you can.

{Cut back to Strong Bad standing.}

STRONG BAD: This means not only are they gonna make you buy {six more boxes of Fruit Smax appear} several more boxes that you have to cut the bar codes off of, but you're also gonna—

{Cut to a close shot of a Cereal Flakes box. Above, the red text reads "FREE PLUSH CEREAL BOX" and the black text reads "WITH 25 PROOFS OF PURCHASE AND $15 SHIPPING AND HANDLING"}

STRONG BAD: —have to involve your mom to write a check for the shipping and handling if she's back from Vegas!

{Record scratch. Cut back to Strong Bad standing, talking angrily}

STRONG BAD: The nerve of those cereals! You leave my mom {slams fist on the table} out of this!

{Screen changes, there is now a box of Cheat Commandos...O's on the desk.}

STRONG BAD: Some cereals can't even be bothered with a toy at all.

{Cut to the box}

STRONG BAD: They try and pass off the back of the box—

{Box flips, revealing a cutout of Crack Stuntman's head, with holes at the sides so that it can be made into a mask.}

STRONG BAD: —as some kind of prize. {Zoom in on the mask} That dotted line you expect me to cut along is like a toyless slap in my face! Masks,

{The image of Crack's face becomes a maze. Gunhaver appears in the bottom left at the maze's entrance, with a caption reading "Help! I'm lost!"}

STRONG BAD: mazes,

{The top part of the maze becomes a word search, most of which consists of uncommon letters, like "Q", while the words "BUY MORE CEREAL" appear in bold. Reynold is seen on the upper right, with a caption reading "Find 3 words!"}

STRONG BAD: word searches, PAH!

{Throws box, cut back to Strong Bad standing}

STRONG BAD: I know the kind of kids that enjoyed these funtivities on the backs of cereal boxes, and let me tell you, they were real easy to beat up.

{Homestar Runner walks in wearing a Crack Stuntman mask.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Blah, Strong Bad, blah! I'm a crappy Stuntman!

STRONG BAD: You know what kind of toys I'd put in specially marked boxes?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes.

{Zoom in on Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Anything {Reaches into a cereal box} heavy and pointy enough {Zoom in on box} to do lasting damage to the face.

{Zooms out as Strong Bad takes out a chainsaw-car and throws it at Homestar, knocking him backwards onto the floor.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wahhhh! Strong Bad, while I'm down here, can you help me finish this word search? I can't find 'dextrose-flavornoids'.

{New Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • Class 5 rapids have rocks, waves and possibly a steep drop, requiring advanced rafting experience. It is the second highest of the six whitewater classifications.
  • The UPC, or Universal Product Code, is a type of barcode that is used to track the movement of store products.
  • Chaff is material consisting of seed coverings and small pieces of stem or leaves that have been separated from the seeds.

Trivia

  • The Cheat Commandos O's box now has Fightgar saying "Those still aren't O's!", similar to Fightgar's comment "Those aren't O's!" on the box in Cheat Commandos...O's.

Goofs

  • The "Problem Brian" Easter egg is still clickable when hidden by the closeup of Strong Bad's brain.
  • Strong Bad's hair doesn't move in sync with his head in the Riverquest Safariventure scene.
  • The Email Strong Bad and Back buttons at the end of the email are still clickable when hidden by the Crack Stuntman mask's background in the Easter egg.

Inside References

  • The chainsaw car is from what I want.
  • Strong Bad's ponytail was first seen in bike thief as part of his college student persona.
  • The walking man on the step counter is from 50K Racewalker.
  • Corn Krunch was previously seen in death metal, where it contained a full-size alto saxophone (contradicting Strong Bad's claims in this email).
  • The "riverquest safariventure" ride was first seen in theme park.
  • Strong Bad pulls a Ser-g-geant Marshie toy out of the box of Cheat Commandos...O's.
    • Also, one of the "squarish, sugary pieces of styrofoam" marshmallows is shaped like Marshie himself.
  • This toon prominently features cereal.
  • Strong Bad says to "leave [his] mom out of this."
Strong Bad's brain!

Real-World References

  • The opening of the email, "Hey, ho, Strong Bad," is said in a way reminiscent of "Blitzkrieg Bop" by the Ramones. The song's chant was previously parodied in The House That Gave Sucky Treats, in which Marzipan dressed up as Joey Ramone.
  • Strong Bad's brain is based off the second form of the final boss in the Super Nintendo game Contra III: The Alien Wars.
  • The Fundament-O's box resembles cereal brands like Wheaties, in which they put a popular athlete on the front of every box.
  • The 'One Free Takesteppa Step Take Monitor!' is a reference to the free pedometers which have actually come free in boxes of certain healthy cereals.
  • "Every step U take" is a line from the song "Every Breath You Take" by The Police.
  • The portmanteau "funtivities" was coined by Michael Scott, a character in The Office, during the episode entitled Beach Games.
  • There was a cereal named Smacks. It had previously been known as Honey Smacks, and had its name simplified in the 1990s because its mascot, the Dig 'Em Frog, was simply calling them Smacks. The name was reverted in 2004.
  • There was a cereal named Pops. It was previously known as Corn Pops, and was changed to Pops in mid 2006, but was reverted that same year due to poor sales.

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