space program

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Pretender of the galaxy

Strong Bad Email #138

We learn of Strongbadia's space program: SBASAF.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Homestar Runner, The King of Town, Coach Z (Easter Egg)

Places: Computer Room, Strongbadia, The Classroom (Easter Egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: November 14, 2005

Running Time: 3:44

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Email is the sound that we make when a young girl cries...

{Strong Bad says "Da-da-da-da" before "Dear Strongbad", "Good jokes" instead of "Doo doo crap," and says "NC" as "Not cool."}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Who doesn't have a space program these days? I mean, don't, like, the Italians have a space program? Ours is called SBASAF {pronounced "space-aff"}. The Strong Badian Administration of Some Aluminum Foil. {clears screen} The only problem is, ...

{fade to white, Strong Bad continues talking over}

STRONG BAD: ...we blew our whole budget on this kick-awesome logo...

{as he says this, the SBASAF logo appears - a rocket's path tracing the second S, and ending up in position as the first A}

STRONG BAD: ...and on our orientation filmstrip.

{Cut to a slide of the SBASAF logo, with "2005 Strong Badian Administration of Some Aluminum Foil" at the bottom}

VOICEOVER: SBASAF is a definitely-for-profit organization, dedicated to the manned taping of aluminum foil to cardboard. {beep sound}

{Another slide comes up - a stylized drawing of alien mountains, with a moon and a comet in the sky. A ten and five dollar note are visible, and a large arrow pointing beyond the mountains. The ten dollar bill has the text "TEN O' DEMS" along the top, the earth in the president's place and a circled "SB" for the seal. The five dollar bill is mostly obscured, but a sun and planet are visible on it.}

VOICEOVER: Our mission objective: to accompany 15 earth dollars on a round trip journey {beep} ...

{another slide, a drawing of a spaceship flying past a planet}

VOICEOVER: ... to the closest reaches of space. {beep}

{another slide, two astronauts, one lying on a bench with weights, the other saying "Gimme ONE more!!"}

VOICEOVER: While the muscular crew will age only a few hours, the cargo, according to our {beep} ...

{another slide, a portrait of Albert Einstein, saying "Hiya!"}

VOICEOVER: ... vague understanding of the theory of relativity, will have aged to an incredible {beep}} ...

{another slide, of three large gold bars in space, with the caption "THREE O' DEMS"}

VOICEOVER: ... one million dollars. And who is good enough at video games {no beep}...

{another slide, a photo of a TV screen with a joystick in front of it. On the screen is a typical 2-D one-on-one fighting game with "FIGHT!!!" written on it. The combatants are a hamburger and a ghost. The ghost has only 1/3 health.}

VOICEOVER: ... to accept such a dangerous mission? Why, none other than beef boullion-aire joyboy {beep} ...

{another slide, of Strong Bad wearing a headband with small wings on it, with pants made out of foil}

VOICEOVER: ... Space Captainface. First Lieuteneral Captainface knows the true key to success is {no beep} ...

{another slide, of a girl smiling at the camera, with a polka-dot background}

VOICEOVER: ... to have as many hot 60's-looking girls in your filmstrips as possible. {no beep}

{another slide, two more girls, and a blue background}

VOICEOVER: Yeah, girls. Alright. {beep}

{another slide, The Cheat wearing a blue cap and sunglasses, with the caption Harold "Strap" Coopmore}

VOICEOVER: Hey, look! It's onboard mechanic Harold "Strap" Coopmore! Looks like he could use a grilled cheese sandwich. {no beep}

{another slide, a photo of a grilled cheese sandwich, with the caption Item 3b: "Grilled Cheese" some music plays for a little bit, then a record-scratching noise and another slide, two men with flat-top haircuts and headsets in front of a computer terminal}

VOICEOVER: Flat-tops and shirt sleeves are the order of the day at SBASAF mission control. Why, Flight Engineer Ted Averill! You aren't smoking a smooth relaxing cigarette at all! {beep}

{another slide, the same scene, but the man on the left is smoking}

VOICEOVER: That's better. And somebody get that man a high-ball. {beep}

{another slide, rows of spaceships}

VOICEOVER: The flagship of SBASAF's 30-vessel fleet is the Proud Anselmo. {no beep}

{another slide, Strong Bad in the same outfit, atop a spaceship labelled "PROUD ANSELMO". There is a halo light shining on Strong Bad.}

VOICEOVER: A wonder of modern SBASAF-ery, the Proud Anselmo is constructed almost entirely out of cardboardium alloy. When blastoff day finally arrives, {no beep} ...

{another slide, the 60's girls in silhouette, with a large question mark}

VOICEOVER: ... will you be among the hot 60's-looking girls to wish strappin' Space Captainface a safe voyage? And if not {beep} ...

{another slide, a sad dog, with the caption "How Come?"}

VOICEOVER: ...how come?

{Cut to Strong Badia. A close-up of Strong Bad wearing his Space Captainface costume in what appears to be a cardboard box holding an Atari joystick. He and the box are trembling violently.}

STRONG BAD: Argrgrgrgrgrgr! Got to...escape...Earth's...tenacity... Fire the afterburners, Strap!

{Look behind Strong Bad to see The Cheat is also in a cardboard box, with a CD player. A toilet paper tube is duct taped to the side of the box. We can now see Strong Mad's hand shaking the boxes.}

THE CHEAT: {strained The Cheat noises}

{The Cheat presses play on the CD Player, which plays a sci-fi flyby sound effect. Cut back to Strong Bad. The box lifts into the air temporarily and lands on the ground.}

STRONG BAD: Oh... we made it. {the boxes continue shaking} Ahem. Oh, we made it. {the boxes stop shaking}

STRONG MAD: Awww...

STRONG BAD: According to my calculations {pronounced like "cal-cuh-lations"}, our precious cargo should have already multiplied to about 50 bucks!

{Strong Mad walks away behind the fence}

THE CHEAT: {Holding up a CD labelled "SOUND F/X (not sounds from that movie F/X)"} {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh, right. We spent the precious cargo on that sound effect CD. Well, let me hear "Body falling down stairs".

THE CHEAT: {agreeable-sounding The Cheat noises} {presses button on CD player}

{The sound effect of what sounds like a body falling down a staircase plays. Strong Bad moves his head with each thump on a stair. Homestar Runner rushes up with a sweater stuck over his head.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You guys! You guys! I need help putting on this sweater!

STRONG BAD: A space mutant {stresses each syllable, like "myoo-tant"} from Satriani 5! Hit him with everything we got, Strap!

{The Cheat pushes various buttons, and random laser sounds and explosions are played. Then The Cheat throws the CD case at Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aah! I knew I should have asked the Italian space program. {wanders off}

STRONG BAD: Nice work, The Strap. Another sucessful mission for {music starts, singing} Space Captainface!

{A piece of cardboard labelled SPACE CAPTAINFACE is lowered on a fishing hook above Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: {still singing} Pretender of the galaxies! He's always having space cocktails with hot 60's-looking girls!

{Cut to wide shot, we see that The Cheat is holding a fishing rod with the SPACE CAPTAINFACE logo hanging from it.}

STRONG BAD: {still singing, kind of} Where are all the hot 60's-looking girls? {music stops}

THE KING OF TOWN: {enters} I'm im my 60's!

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click "S. CAPTAINFACE" to hear a log entry.
{Strong Bad is at the Lappy}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Captainface Log: The vinegar-baking soda drive on the Proud Anselmo has run out of fuel, stranding us in the Impellitteri Sector. There is shrapnel everywhere. It makes one wonder, does man truly {beep}
{The slide of Item 3b: "Grilled Cheese" comes into frame from the bottom, and stays a few seconds}
  • At the end, click the tire to see Cadet Z at recruitment.
{The last two slides of the slideshow play again. Coach Z's arm enters frame from the bottom}
COACH Z: I was told I was gonna get to pee in a cup!
{Pull back to see Coach Z watching Strong Bad next to a projection screen}
STRONG BAD: In due time, Cadet Z. In due time.
COACH Z: Oh, doo time! Even better.
{Strong Bad looks slightly shocked}
  • At the end, click the CD to see the back cover
SOUND F/X are not a joke!
featuring such favorite hits as:
- baby in a wagon
- drippy towel
- single bird tweet
- the hush of winter
- baseball in repose
- body falling downstairs
- sonar ping
- creaking rustiness
- sonar pong
- rub sequence              00003 or 2

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • The beeps in the filmstrip are common when a presenter is given a set of slides and a tape - so the presenter knows when to change the slides.
  • The "vague understanding of the theory of relativity" is a major misunderstanding of Special relativity, in particular the twins paradox.
  • A Sonar ping is a method used to determine distance from one object to another, like two submarines. One will send out a low level "ping" that travels at a set speed through water, "bounces" off the other submarine, and is re-recieved by the first's sonar system. The amount of time this takes determines the distance. There is no sonar pong.

Trivia

  • The various things and text adorning Strong Bad's spaceship are, from left to right:
    • Duct Tape
    • A Van Buren bust
    • An ABA basketball
    • Used paper towel rolls
    • An Atari 2600 joypad
    • The Strongbadian national flag/emblem
    • A/C ductwork
    • "the proud anselmo"
    • 1ST LTNRL. S. CAPTIANFACE
    • Aluminum foil
    • Upside down THIS WAYS
    • "STRAP" COOPMORE
    • An empty milk carton

Remarks

  • As of this cartoon's release, only the USA, Russia, and China have manned space programs. Italy is a member of the European Space Agency.
  • The fact that Homestar can't get his sweater on is ironic, because his difficulty is with the sleeves, and Homestar has no visible arms.
  • In the old-fashioned video game shown on the TV, the player on the left is titled "Hamburger", even though it has a large layer of cheese in it, which would technically make it a cheeseburger.
  • The Tire wears a corded headset and is smoking a cigarrette. Thus, it appears to be the only acting member of Mission Control.

Real-World References

  • The S. CAPTAINFACE log is similar to the ones that occur at the beginning of Star Trek episodes.
  • Strong Bad's reference to Homestar Runner as a mutant from Satriani 5 is most likely a reference to guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani.
  • The narrator's comments about shirt-sleeves and flattops being the order of the day is a good description of late '60s early '70s Mission Control.
  • "The Proud Anselmo" is named for Phil Anselmo.
  • Albert Einstein was a twentieth century theoretical physicist, most famous for his Theory of relativity.

External Links

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