secret recipes

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Nothin' else to do.

Strong Bad Email #124

Strong Bad reveals some secret family recipes.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z, The King of Town, Marzipan, Homestar Runner

Places: Computer Room, The Field, King of Town's Castle, Marzipan's House

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: February 14, 2005

Running Time: 4:04



STRONG BAD: {singing} Email, na na, na na, na na, nanaNA...

{Strong Bad reads "Dear Strong Bad" as "The usual" and "NJ" as "Nigeria"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well Mellie, Hillarious, being from Africa I'm sure you guys are used to eating, like, exotic fruits and nectars and, um, lions {clears screen, continues typing} so our recipes may seem a bit uncouth. {stops typing} Uncouth. {typing} Can something be just plain couth? I bet freakin' Strong Sad is plain couth. Anyways, Couthy, all our family recipes tend to center around the grossing out of or the making puke of friends and well-wishers.

{The camera cuts back, and we see The Cheat laying on the computer desk flinging floppy disks all over}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat! Let's go try out Great Uncle Pawdabber's Pre-tend Ice Cream Showdown! {His legs kick to each syllable of Pre-tend Ice Cream Showdown}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises, possibly an enthusiastic "Okay!"}

{The Cheat stands up. The screen greys and the following text appears}

NARRATOR: Strong Bad may or may not have an actual Great Uncle Pawdabber.

{Cut to the field. Coach Z is standing around holding a basketball}

COACH Z: Man, what is this thing? {bounces the basketball once} A bounce thing?

{Strong Bad and The Cheat enter from the right. Strong Bad is holding what appears to be a bowl of ice cream with yellowish sprinkles, and The Cheat is wearing a towel around his waist}

STRONG BAD: Oh man, The Cheat! Wow! Look at this! It's our best friend, Coach Z. Say there, Coach, would you like to try some of our free icèd-c-cream? It's got toasted coconut!

COACH Z: How could I refuse? {throws the basketball over his shoulder} I can't afford the money-cost variety! {the basketball can be seen falling behind the trees in the background.}

{Coach Z takes the ice cream and starts pigging out on it}

COACH Z: Oooh! Sweet mercy! {eats some more} This is orful! {eats more}

STRONG BAD: Aww, it's OK, Coach. You're the proud new eater of a healthy bowl of sour cream and The Cheat fur.

{Coach Z drops the bowl in shock. Strong Bad pulls away The Cheat's towel to reveal that he's been shaved from the waist down}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises, sounds like "ta-da!"}

COACH Z: {starts making disgusted noises and coughing up fur} Oof! I think I'm going to puke my pants!

STRONG BAD: Ugh! Please don't elaborate on THAT.

COACH Z: {talking normally} Naw, it's easy. I do it all the time! Here, let me show ya's!


{Strong Bad and the Cheat run away as Coach Z continues talking}

COACH Z: You take your pants...

{A recipe card appears on screen reading as follows}

Great Uncle Pawdabber's Pre-tend
Ice Cream Showdown 

3 scoops (really) sour cream
1/2 of shaved The Cheat
1 bowl
1 languagely challenged vaguely coach type person

Mix ingredients until golden brown

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} For best results, dip The Cheat in egg wash before shaving or else he'll get those red shaving bumpies all over him. Ugh.

{Cut to the side of the King of Town's castle}

STRONG BAD: {sotto voce} Alright, we're mixing this next one up on them, The Cheat. I filled this old Speed Stick {pulls out some underarm deodorant reading X-treme Glacier} with white chocolate and we'll totally gross out or make puke The King of Town when I start eatin' it in front of him!

THE CHEAT: {affirmative The Cheat noises}

{Cut to inside the castle. The King of Town is watching TV and eating the same type of Speed Stick we saw Strong Bad with. He also has some more underarm deodorants and spray cans in a bowl next to him.}

TUCKSWORTH: You can't marry your guitar, Caleb!

CALEB: I can try!

{Strong Bad and The Cheat enter from the right}

STRONG BAD: Hey Ole King Droll! Checka me out! I'm eatin'- oh. Never mind. Ugh, shoulda known...

{Strong Bad and The Cheat walk out}

THE KING OF TOWN: No wait, you guys! Come back! This stuff is strong enough for a man but TASTY enough for a king! Don't you want to try any Forest Rush? Or Tundra Mist?

{A recipe card spins onscreen reading as follows}

Crazy Aunt Eulatherm's Deodorant

6 oz. white chocolate
1/2 of shaved The Cheat (for moral support)
1 kinda cleaned-out De-odor Cake

Mix ingredients. Preheat oven. Add hot sauce
if necessary

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Yeah, how come deodorants and stuff are always named after biomes anyways?

{Cut to Marzipan's house. Marzipan is sitting on the couch reading The Latest News. Homestar walks in carrying one of Strong Bad's Pre-Tend Ice Cream Showdown bowls.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey girlfriend, have you tried any of this free ice cream Strong Bad made?

MARZIPAN: {setting aside her paper, clearly amused} Homestar, didn't anyone tell you? That's, like, cottage cheese and The Cheat hair!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: WHAT?! {does a spit take, producing some fur} Strong Bad told me it was sour CREAM and The Cheat hair! Looks like THIS is a job for Stupid Uncle Egg's Goodtime Diaper Pie!

{Homestar walks offscreen to the left. The screen greys and the following text appears on it}

NARRATOR: Homestar Runner definitely does not have a Stupid Uncle Egg.

{Cut to Strong Bad's computer room. A pinecone and bendy straw are in a bowl with a sign next to it reading "not A pimecone, diaper pie! i mean reg-ular pie." Strong Bad and The Cheat walk in. The Cheat is now wearing yellow post-it notes, some with black dots on them, to try and cover up his shaved area}

STRONG BAD: No, it looks TOTALLY real. I swear, no one'll be able to tell! Oh, what's this? {Strong Bad picks up the sign} "Not a pimecone." Well, he's got that right!

{Homestar pokes his head in from the right}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh look, it's my best friends Cheat and The Strong Bad! Hey, I heard you guys been eatin' some serious regular pie in here!

STRONG BAD: Uh, yeah man! We've even got some left over if you want it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well if it's anywhere near as good as your free ice cream!

{Homestar puts the pine cone in his mouth and starts crunching it up. The Cheat and Strong Bad look at each other incredulously}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {with his mouth full} Well, so long, suckers!

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} It's like, even when we win, he wins.

{Cut back to Strong Bad at the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} There you go girls. Recipes for the ages. But if you really want to be chefs when you grow up, we've got a super-secret family recipe for cooking the C-H-E-blank-T {types this as "C H E _ T"}

{The Cheat makes a very angry noise from offscreen and chucks a floppy disk reading "YOU JERK!" at Strong Bad's head}

STRONG BAD: Ow! {typing} And of course that blank is for the letter K. The Chekt. My family's got a great recipe for cooking the Chekt. Yeah, yeah. {only types one "yeah"} We're mostly from Bumdumbourge. It's near, uh, Totalslava. "Come down off that smokestack and eat your the Chekt!" my poopaw used to say. Ah, my dear poopaw, I miss you so.

{The Paper comes down}

STRONG BAD: {whispering} I think the Cheat bought it. Let me know if you want that recipe.

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on "grow up" to hear a few seconds of the television program the King of Town was watching.
{cut back to the King of Town's castle. The TV is still on}
TUCKSWORTH: Caleb, that hamburger was mine!
CALEB: It's mine now!
  • At the end, click on "C H E _ T" to see the Cheat reading a book entitled "So You Want to Cook a Wrestleman?", with a picture of The Cheat putting a lid on a pot with Strong Bad in it.
  • At the end, click on the left "poopaw" to hear what the announcer has to say about a poopaw.
NARRATOR: I, uh, I don't even know what a poopaw is.
  • At the end, click on "the Chekt" to see another recipe.
From the Kitchen of Poopaw
Chicken-fried the CHEKT

3 or 7 medium sized the Chekts
2 salt
40 pancakes

Get down off smokestack. Then cook that
ugly thing.

{"Bumdumbourge '96" appears as a watermark on the recipe card.}

Fun Facts


  • A biome is a major regional group of distinctive plant and animal communities well adapted to that region's physical environment (e.g. Tundra, Forest, etc.).


  • Strong Bad remarks about the possibility of something being just plain 'couth'. Couth means "possessing a high degree of sophistication" or "refined". So yes, Strong Sad is couth.
  • The way Marzipan is sitting is evidence against the theory that Marzipan's lower body is skirt-shaped.
  • When Strong Bad is talking to The Cheat flinging the discs, if you manage to zoom in on the Lappy's screen, you'll find out that some different stuff is typed in (not all of it is visible due to Strong Bad's head blocking the Lappy screen):


  • When Strong Bad reads the "pimecone" card, the computer screen is almost blank... but still has "and well-wishers." written on it in the same area where Strong Bad typed it before.
  • In the beginning of the email, The Cheat is apparently throwing floppy disks from someplace behind him, as the movement of his arm behind him shows. However, when The Cheat jumps up at Strong Bad's suggestion of the ice cream trick, there are no floppy disks behind The Cheat that he could have thrown (unless, of course, he had already thrown all of them).

Inside References

  • The newspaper Marzipan is reading is the exact same one (down to the repeating text) she was reading in Strong Bad Is In Jail Cartoon.
  • The book in the Easter egg is titled "So You Want to Cook a Wrestleman", a phrase that has described Strong Bad previously.
  • On the first recipe card where it says "Mix ingredients until golden brown" may be reference to the Homestar Quiz after you win.
  • The towel that the Cheat is wearing appears to be either the same as, or very similar to, the one worn by Homestar in "Main Page 14."

Real-World References

  • "Speed Stick" is an actual brand of underarm deodorant.
  • "Old King Droll" is a reference to the nursery rhyme "Old King Cole."
  • The floppy disk reads "Battle Chess", an early-90s-era chess game for the PC that featured animated chess pieces that fought with each other when trying to occupy the same square.
  • The King of Town's quip about the deodorants being "strong enough for a man" is a reference to "Secret" brand deodorant ads, whose slogan used to be "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman."

Fast Forward

  • The television show watched by the King appears again in Bug In Mouth Disease. In that toon, we discover the name of the show is Caleb Rentpayer
  • In the email rock opera, Strong bad types "It's only a msyyer pd tun/ blegfr teh chekts". This is perhaps a reference to "The Chekt" in this email.

External Links

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