secret identity

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 19:15, 25 January 2006

"You get back here with that remote, Jeffrey Beffrey Mudgeman."

Chris from Laramie, Wyoming, asks Strong Bad if he has any secret identities. Strong Bad discusses several options.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, Homestar Runner, The King of Town, Bubs, Marzipan, Strong Sad (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, Trailer Home, Smoky Office, Marzipan's House

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: January 25, 2006

Running Time: 3:42

Transcript

{Strong Bad types "strongbad_email.wad" and presses enter.}

STRONG BAD: Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon. {pronounces it "day-MON"}

subject: none

Dear Strongbad,
Do you have a secret Identity? cause you know that
would be the kinda rockin' cool thing you'd have.
Chris
Laramie, Wy

{Strong Bad sings "Wy" as "why" in a soft high-pitched voice.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Chris, let me be frank. The term "rockin' cool" is so uncool it makes my face hurt.

{clears screen}

STRONG BAD: Okay, now all the "rockin' cool"s are off the screen.

{He shrieks as he realizes what he's typed, and clears the screen again.}

STRONG BAD: They're gone. Those things are vicious. Anyway Frank, I believe your question was about my secret identity. Well, let me ask you this: have you ever seen The Poopsmith and I in the same place at the same time?

{Cut to a wide shot of the computer room. The Poopsmith is standing behind Strong Bad and to his right.}

STRONG BAD: Dun dun DUUUNH! That's right! It is I who dons the crappy orange gloves and shovels—

{The Poopsmith jabs Strong Bad a couple of times with his shovel. Strong Bad stops typing and turns to face him.}

STRONG BAD: What the?! What are you doing here? {shakes his fist a little as he talks} You ruined my scam, man! I was gonna have all of everyone believing that I was you and that the teeming pile of whatsit was really a smoldering pile of money covered in whatsit. How'd you get in here anyways?

{Homestar Runner approaches from the left side of the computer, holding a hamburger.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I let him in. {to The Poopsmith} Here you go. {hands him the hamburger} Oh, {turns to Strong Bad} and you're out of mayo.

{Homestar and The Poopsmith exit toward the left. Strong Bad turns and addresses the camera.}

STRONG BAD: Is there like a sign on my door that says {makes a sweeping gesture} "Wanted: Everyone I hate. Inquire within"?

{The King of Town approaches from the right side of the computer.}

THE KING OF TOWN: I didn't see one.

{Strong Bad utters some frustrated gibberish and turns back to the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {resumes typing} So apparently I'm not The Poopsmith. But I got lots of secret identities. Lately, I've been using this one: Tip Tappers: Expensive Briefcase Carrier. I use Mr. Tappers when I'm on tour and I want to check into a hotel and not be bothered by legions of fans.

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand—make that Bubs' Motor Lodge—at night. On the sign is a neon caricature of Bubs' head with three neon Z's next to it, each of which light up in cascading fashon. Bubs is wearing a nametag and Strong Bad has with him a briefcase. A sign-in book is on the counter.}

BUBS: And what name will this room be under?

STRONG BAD: Uh, Tip Tappers, please. Unless some girl asks what room Strong Bad's in. And she's at least a seven out of ten. Or uh {thinks} six if she's naked.

BUBS: That'll be nine hundred dollars Mr. {clears his throat loudly} Tappers.

{Homestar emerges from behind the building, carrying an empty ice bucket and dressed in a robe, a gold shirt, and pink bunny slippers.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Is there an ice machine around here?

BUBS: Certainly, Mr. Dee Williams.

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} And then there's Vance Mudgeman. I use that identity when I drop in on my secret second family over in Broiter Grove. Ahh, those kids love Daddy Mudgeman.

{Cut to the trailer home. Strong Bad is sitting in a green armchair watching TV. He is wearing a grease-stained wife-beater T-shirt and has a couple of days' growth of beard stubble on his face. Kids' laughter can be heard in the background.}

STRONG BAD: {to someone off screen} You get back here with that remote, Jeffrey Beffrey Mudgeman. I'm not afraid to smack— {holds up his glove menacingly}

{Cut abruptly back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Yes, well, you gotta be firm. {clears his throat} And then there's the secret identity I use to write my advice column for a popular women's magazine.

{An issue of Scarfgirl appears from the bottom of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Using the pseudoname Cara Carabowditbowdit, I'm slowly but surely making the girls of the world cooler for all us dudes.

{Cut to the journalist's office. Strong Bad sits at an old typewriter, wearing a brown wig with a skull and bone on it.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Dear Buttless in Bedstuy, Sounds like YOU need to play more video games, galpal. And not those girly ones where you pretend to be a dog or a frog neither. I'm talkin' about the explodey ones. The kind that make you dizzy when you play 'em. Then maybe your guy will stop taling about his ex. Eat a Steak, Cara Carabowditbowdit. {He finishes by typing "XOXOXO".}

{Cut to Marzipan's house. Marzipan and Homestar are sitting together on her couch, and Marzipan is reading Scarfgirl.}

MARZIPAN: {angrily} This lady doesn't know what she's talking about. And I don't like her pseudoname.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, you're probably just jealous 'cause she gets all the hot boys.

{A crumpled ball of paper flies in from off screen and hits Homestar in the face.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan, mail's here.

{He reaches down and picks it up.}

MARZIPAN: What's it say?

{Homestar uncrumples it and reads the following. Strong Bad has scribbled over his own name.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No I don't. Strong Bad. I mean, Cara Carabowditbowdit.

MARZIPAN: See, I told you.

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So you see? Secret identities aren't just for superheroes and Garth Brooks anymore. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have several butts to jettison from my home.

{He gets up and goes off to the left.}

STRONG BAD: {grunts from off screen as he throws Homestar}

{Homestar flies across the screen and lands with a thud.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks for having me overrrrr!

STRONG BAD: {grunts from off screen as he throws the King.}

{The King, too, flies across the screen and lands with a thud.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Worst mayonnaise party everrrr!

{The Poopsmith walks across while being prodded all the while by Strong Bad using a fondue fork.}

STRONG BAD: Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• After Strong Bad says "Laramie.....Why?", click on the phrase to get a book of the same name, written by Beverly and Lem Sportsinterviews.
• After Strong Bad types "So apparently I'm not The Poopsmith," click on the phrase to see a picture of the Poopsmith with Strong Bad's head, feet, and hands.
• While Strong Bad is checking in to Bubs' Motor Lodge, click on the reservations book to see it up close.
• Click on the Lappy at the end to see a scene with Homestar and Marzipan. (This was added a few hours after the email's release.)

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Maybe I should get me one of them pseudo-names.

STRONG SAD: {leaning in from the side of the screen, drugged up on caffeine} It's nym! It's nym! It's pseudonym! Not pseudo-name! I can't take it any more! Nym nym nym! It's a Greek word for "name"! Pseudonym! Pseudonym! {leans back out}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Bedstuy is short for Bedford-Stuyvesant, a neighborhood in the New York City borough of Brooklyn.
• A daemon, also called a service, is a background process that serves an important function in a computer system or network. Daemons are commonly used for such things as checking email and running web and FTP servers on Unix-based systems. The word "daemon" is properly pronounced "DEE-mon" (just like "demon").
• "Pseudoname" is a common misspelling of "pseudonym," a fictitious name used as an alternative to one's legal name.
• A cowboy is featured on the cover of "Laramie... Why?" because Laramie is a popular setting for westerns.

Trivia

• Bubs' marquee reads:

BUBS' MOTOR
   LODGE
(in small lettering:)
FORMERLY BUBSO'S CONCES5ION STAND

• Bubs' nametag reads:

My Name
BUBS

• Homestar's shirt reads:

I (heart)
TOXIC
WASTE

• Bub's Motor Lodge Registry reads:

one double - mr. allen poe
                       PAID!         queen suite - ms. cousteau
one king - mr. boyardee                                           PAID!
                       PAID!         smelly cot - mr. five freddy
posh suite - mr. chamberlain                                DISCO TAPE!
                     COMPED!         one racecar bed - mr. dee williams 
one grill - mr. tesmacher                                   PAID TWICE!
            PENCIL SHAVINGS!

Remarks

• The sound when Strong Bad is poking the Poopsmith to make him leave is the "Drip" error sound from the old Mac OS.
• Strong Bad and The Poopsmith have actually appeared together several times in the past, most notably in big white face, Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon, and at the end of most Holiday Toons.
• Mr. Tesmacher in Bubs' registry is probably The Cheat, as it mentions his grill, and it says he paid in pencil shavings, as he did in lackey.
• Mr. Five Freddy is probably Coach Z for three reasons. One is that he uses the name of a hip-hop star. Another is that he pays with a disco tape, which is what he asked Marzipan for in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2. The last reason is that he rented a smelly cot, which is quite suitable for Coach Z.
• Mr. Boyardee is likely The King of Town, given his food-related pseudonym and the fact that he requests a King suite.

Goofs

• Strong Bad shows poor grammar when he says "The Poopsmith and I". It should be "The Poopsmith and me".
• The name "mr. allen poe" in Bub's register is a common misspelling of the name of American author Edgar Allan Poe.

Inside References

• The room in which Vance Mudgeman is sitting (with the moose lamp and "Born to be Danged" poster) is in a double-wide trailer, first seen in the email portrait.
• "BUBSO'S CONCE5SION STAND" is a reference to geddup noise.
• The racecar bed in Bubs' registry is a reference to Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2, where Homestar buys a racecar bed.
• Strong Bad prods the Poopsmith with a fondue fork to encourage him to leave. Homestar has borrowed Strong Bad's fondue set at least once.
• Bubs' name tag is a reference to Puppets on the Road, where Shark-Tooth Bubs says "My name Shark-Tooth Bubs."
• The words "DISCO TAPE" in Bubs' guestbook are an oblique reference to Disco Tech, mentioned in Homestar Quiz as the place where Bubs attends night classes.
• Homestar's housecoat and stubble were introduced in caper.
• Strong Sad was first given caffeine in the email caffeine.
• Whaddaya Know, Haddiman? is playing on the TV in the Mudgeman home.

Real-World References

• The mention of Garth Brooks is a reference to his alter-ego, Chris Gaines.
• "Strongbad_email.wad" and "Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon" are both homages to the PC game, Doom. WAD files contain level, graphical, and sound-replacement files for the game.
  • "Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon," is similar to the first line of text seen in Doom and Doom II, which reads "Init DOOM refresh daemon."
• "Mr. Dee Williams" refers to Billy Dee Williams, who played Lando Calrissian in the original Star Wars films.
• "Mr. Allen Poe" refers to 19th century poet Edgar Allan Poe.
• "Mr. Boyardee" refers to Chef Boyardee, who is famous for his line of pre-cooked, ready to re-heat Italian foods.
• "Mr. Chamberlain" most likely refers to basketball star Wilt Chamberlain or drummer Jimmy Chamberlain
• "Mr. Tesmacher" is a reference to Lex Luthor's secretary, Eve Teschmacher, in the 1978 Superman: The Movie.
• "Mr. Five Freddy" refers to Fab Five Freddy, the first hip-hop VJ by hosting the MTV music video show entitled "Yo! MTV Raps".
• "Ms. Cousteau" most likely refers to Jacques Cousteau, a famous French oceanographer.

External Links

• watch "secret identity"
• watch "secret identity" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "secret identity"
• forum thread re: "secret identity"