redesign

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[[Image:New iMac.png|thumb|"You clearly don't have what it takes to bring NO LOAFING into the digital age."]]
[[Image:New iMac.png|thumb|"You clearly don't have what it takes to bring NO LOAFING into the digital age."]]

Revision as of 19:10, 10 July 2006

Strong Bad Email #153
watch isp redesign
"You clearly don't have what it takes to bring NO LOAFING into the digital age."

Strong Bad considers redesigning the No Loafing sign and painting his room.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z

Places: Computer Room, The Cheat's Computer Room, Strong Bad's Laundry Room

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: July 10, 2006

Running Time: 3:47

Page Title: Lappy 486

Contents

Transcript

{The scene opens in a darkened Computer Room with yellow tape (reading "LELLOWTAPE") all over the Lappy.

STRONG BAD: {from offcscreen} Email is nice, {the lights come on and Strong Bad sits down} dadadadadadada! {rips the tape away} Email is twice, habilascoobilasong! {pulls up the email}

{The "dear strong bad" echoes, causing Strong Bad to look around a bit. Strong Bad pronounces "jamie ericson" as "hamiay eric-SON".}

STRONG BAD: {typing} That's so funny that you should say that Jamie, {says as an unintelligible mumble} because I was just thinking how bored I am with your butt, and your face, and your snotty nose.

{"nose" echoes, and Strong Bad looks around some more. Strong Bad clears the screen.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} I guess the No Loafing sign could take a cue from the fast-food, soft drink, and bad sports team industries and combat sluggish sales and decades of losing with a slick logo redesign.

{The screen cuts back and then pans over to the No Loafing sign. The blue wall vanishes.}

STRONG BAD: {rapping to a beat} First you squish it, skew it, and turn it all around. Squish it, skew it, and turn it all around.

{As he says this, the border disappears and the words are squished, skewed, and turned around. At the end, the words are at a slant.}

STRONG BAD: Then we need to make it all fast and slick and shiny like Flo Jo in a tuxedo.

{The words curve, the tops of the letters become spikes pointint to the left, and they become all shiny.}

STRONG BAD: {rapping again} Uh! Flo Jo with a tuxedo!

{The words react to the beat of his rap, various decorations litter the screen, and a circle with a slash through it appears behind the words.}

STRONG BAD: Now it's time to play Color Wheel Roulette. No Whammies, no Whammies.

{The colors of the sign cycle through various schemes, finally ending up on the words being a dull yellow and the circle in the background turning a greenish tan, with the blank space in the middle turning brown.}

STRONG BAD: Awww... Ouch, man. Now, just when you think you're done, you gotta dip it in molten Plexiglas...

{The entire sign becomes glossy}

STRONG BAD: ...to give it that "children under 3 are sure to choke on it" goodness.

{With a "ding", sparkles appear on the logo.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, wait. Almost forgot the fangs.

{With a roar, bloody fangs sprout from the logo.}

{Cut to The Cheat and Strong Bad, with a new-style iMac in front of The Cheat. The logo Strong Bad described is on the monitor.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Well, I don't know how we're going to print it out, seeing as how somebody sliced off the back of your monitor. And quit rubbing that plastic bar of soap {indicating The Cheat's mouse} on the desk. You clearly don't have what it takes to bring NO LOAFING into the digital age.

{The Cheat closes the window, and Strong Bad turns toward the camera.}

STRONG BAD: But I does!

{Cut back to the No Loafing sign}

STRONG BAD: Fresh from elementary school cafetoriums and lotto machines...

{The No Loafing sign transforms into a cafeteria-style LED display.}

STRONG BAD: comes one of those actually pretty hard to read message board signs.

{"NO LOAFING" scrolls past, followed by a crawling worm.}

STRONG BAD: Capable of advanced animation, scrollabatonies...

{The words "GRUEL IS COOL!" come in, with the individual pixels coming from opposite sides before meeting.}

STRONG BAD: ...and twelve levels of blinkiness.

{"NO LOAFING" returns and the letters blink. Then the screen blinks and fireworks appear on the display.}

STRONG BAD: Now we can celebrate the lack of loafing with some fireworks! And a man doing cartwheels!

{The fireworks disappear and a man doing cartwheels moves across the display. Cut to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: No mortal would dare loaf under the four-colored dotted digital stare of this bad boy! Y'know, unless they looked up too late, and the "No" had already scrolled off...

{Scrolls up to the display just as the "N" in "NO LOAFING" scrolls off.}

STRONG BAD: ...so they thought that it said, "Do Loafing."

{The words "DO LOAFING" scroll on.}

STRONG BAD: Or maybe, like, Franklin Delano Loafing, our nation's laziest president.

{The man doing cartwheels appears after "DO LOAFING", followed by "FRANKL" before the screen cuts back to Strong Bad's Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} That's enough loaf. As for the blue wall, if you're going to repaint anything, you might as well use that magic green screen paint that Hollywood still thinks looks good. Then the wall can be anything you want!

{Cut to Strong Bad's computer room, but with bright green walls instead of blue. Strong Bad happily skips in the middle of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Imagine being able to frolic through the bread aisle...

{The wall - and Strong Bad's bright green eyes - are replaced with an image of a bread aisle at a supermarket.}

STRONG BAD: {still a voiceover} ...without leaving the house!

{Strong Bad turns toward the screen and leans against the wall.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, bread aisle! Warm me with your enriched, bleached bosom! And please, give me back my sight!

{Cut to another part of the computer room with the same green paint. Strong Bad is sitting on the floor, looking at the wall, and holding a controller.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Or play your favorite video games where the pixels are big as hams!

{The wall becomes a video game called "Sundae Drivin'", which appears to involve a giant bowl of ice cream on wheels driving down the road collecting toppings.}

STRONG BAD: {imitating a car's engine} Vrrrrrrrr! Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

{The sundae-car collects a cherry, and "CHERRY GET" appears on the top of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Vrrrrrrrrrr! Watch out for the wet walnuts!

{The sundae-car collides with a brown jar with a "W" on it and it explodes.}

STRONG BAD: Awwwwwww!

{The screen reads "Your James Over".}

STRONG BAD: This game sucks.

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} But what green screens are really for...

{The screen cuts to Strong Bad, with a Roman-style spear, shield, and helmet, looking at the wall, which appears to be an island village with a "Claymation" cycloptic monster on it.}

STRONG BAD: {still a voiceover} ...is battling Claymation!

{The monster steps forward and swipes in Strong Bad's direction.}

STRONG BAD: It'll take more than karate pants to keep me from toilet-papering the temple of the gods!

{Coach Z walks in. Where his bright green body overlaps the wall, the green screen's image appears over him. His usual "Z" medallion is replaced with a glossy curved medallion with fangs, resembling The Cheat's remake of the No Loafing sign.}

COACH Z: Hey, Strong Bad! Check it out! I squished it! And skewed it! And turned it all...

{The medallion is squished, skewed, and turned around. Both Strong Bad and the monster run off.}

STRONG BAD: Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

COACH Z: ...a... round?

{Cut back to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: Aww, forget it, Jamie. {said as "whay-whay"} If you're so bored with my style, here's a change for ya.

{Cut to the laundry room}

STRONG BAD: {from offscren} No, pan up!

{The screen pans up to reveal a seashell-themed wallpaper near the ceiling.}

STRONG BAD: I've put up this delightful ocean-themed border in the laundry room! Oh, and look!

{The screen zooms in on the dials on the washing machine.}

STRONG BAD: I've hot-glued some actual shells onto the knobs of the washer and dryer!

{Cut back to show Strong Bad standing next to the washer.}

STRONG BAD: All for under fifty bucks!

{Cut to a close-up.}

STRONG BAD: Well, that's our show. Join us next week when we show you how to knit your own splatter paints!

{Cut back again}

STRONG BAD: All for under fifty bucks!

{A logo for "redesigning SBEMAILS, JERK FOOT" appears.}

SINGERS: Ba-doo ba! Daaaah!

{On "Daaaah!", the words "FOR UNDER 50 BUCKS" appear below. The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

Stupid Home Edition!
  • Click on the "No Loafing" sign when Strong Bad is playing color wheel roulette with it to see the box design for Color Wheel Roulette Stupid Home Edition by Boardelectrix.
-50% fewer deaths than Russian variety
-Pant one, pant two!!
-Twice as many deaths as Garden Variety
  • When "Do Loafing" starts to scroll by on the sign, click it to see a bumper sticker for Sucky Mountain, Colorado.
  • At the end, click on "Jerk" which gives a "conversation" between The Cheat's redesigned No Loafing sign and the redesigned Coach Z emblem.
REDESIGNED NO LOAFING SIGN: {purrs, growls and then roars}
REDESIGNED COACH Z EMBLEM: {runs away} Yorp, yorp, yorp, yorp, yorp!

Fun Facts

Explanations

The "New" No Loafing sign.
  • Greenscreens are used in filming in order to have an alternate background behind the live action. If an actor or piece of scenery is green, it will be replaced by the background. This technique is called Chroma-Key, and can actually be done with any color, though blue and green are the most popular.
    • The green glow along the bottom edge of Strong Bad's wall is a reference to early 80s TV, when chroma-keying technology was not as good as it is now, and a green or blue "tearing" would often be seen on the edges of the green region, especially in the hair of on-screen talent during sports events or weather reports.
    • The "cutouts" in Strong Bad's eyes and Coach Z's partial disappearance are examples of common problems with most chroma key systems, in which clothing and other elements that are close to the color of the background are interpreted as part of the chroma key.
  • The No Loafing Scrolling Sign is actually a scrolling LED marquee (Pictured).

Trivia

  • This marks the first appearance of The Cheat's new computer, replacing the "Tangerine Dreams" iMac he had previously.

Inside References

Real World References

  • "Franklin Delano Loafing" is a reference to Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the 32nd President of the United States. It's also another instance of Presidents.
  • "Flo-Jo" was a nickname for Florence Griffith Joyner, an American athlete.
  • "No Whammies" was commonly chanted by players on the game show Press Your Luck.
  • "Redesigning SBemails" at the end is a reference to the many house redesign shows on channels such as HGTV.
  • The "Cherry Get!" graphic that appears when Strong Bad is playing "Sundae Drivin'" is a reference to many Japanese video games, in which "[Object] Get!" is commonly displayed whenever you collect an object.

External Links

Personal tools
Subtitles