property of ones

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Strong Bad Email #39

Strong Bad talks about cold ones.

Features: Strong Bad


STRONG BAD: {singing} Gimme some of this and gimme some of thiiiiis... gimme some of this. {stops singing}

Hey Strong Bad,
How's it hanging? Last weekend I almost drank a one 
that was not cold. Has this ever happened to you?
Dan Waters
Dallas, TX

{Strong Bad pronounces TX as "Tehas"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Aw, Dan, you dodged a bullet, man. Because lemme tell you...a One that is not cold, is scarcely a One at all. Allow me to demonstrate with one of my bogus mathematical theorems. I call it "The Property of Ones". It goes like this: The ONEitude is directly proportional to the COLDitude of the ONE. So you got that, Dan? The colder it is, the more of a one it is. Because you don't want to end up with a Cold None. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But now in foreign lands, they've been known to drink {The bottle of "Not So Cold One" appears.} Not So Cold Ones, {Then, a bottle of "Room Temp-A-Ture One" appears.} Room Temperature Ones and even, {And finally, a bottle of "W�rm �ne" appears.} Warm Ones. Whoah! But where I come from, it's CUH-HOLD ONES. Though I have to admit, on certain evenings in late spring, a Cool One can be very refreshing. {stops typing} Ooh... that's a good one.

'{A picture of three "Cold One" bottles with the text below saying "A One That Isn't Cold, Is Scarcely A One At All" appears on the screen. The Paper comes down.}

Fun Facts

  • In the introduction of this email, Strong Bad may be singing to the Falco tune of "Rock me Amadeus".
  • The screen they show at the end showed a needlepointed picture on a corkboard. A strange animation was later created on that same corkboard out of "knitting- animation" by the Brothers Chaps. It can only be accessed by going to [1]. Go there, and you'll understand me better. Trust me. It's there.

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