property of ones
From Homestar Runner Wiki
- This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the theorem, see Bogus Mathematical Theorems.
Strong Bad Email #39 |
|
Strong Bad talks about Cold Ones, with a few tweaks at standard algebra.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad
Places: Computer Room
Computer: Tandy 400
Date: Monday, August 5, 2002
Running Time: 1:19
Page Title: Tandy 400: Still Bloke.
DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc One
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} Gimme some of this and gimme some of thiiiiis... Gimme some of this. {stops singing}
Hey Strong Bad,
How's it hanging? Last weekend I almost drank a one
that was not cold. Has this ever happened to you?
Dan Waters
Dallas, TX
{Strong Bad pronounces TX as "Tejas"}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Aw, Dan, you dodged a bullet, man. Because lemme tell you... a One that is not cold, is scarcely a One at all. Allow me to demonstrate with one of my bogus mathematical theorems. {stops typing} I call it {resumes typing} "The Property of Ones." {stops typing} It goes like this: {resumes typing} The ONEitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the ONE. So you got that, Dan? The colder it is, the more of a one it is. Because you don't want to end up with a Cold None. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But now in foreign lands, they've been known to drink {stops typing} Not So Cold Ones {a bottle of "Not So Cold One" appears}, Room Temperature Ones {a bottle of "Room Temp-A-Ture One" appears}, and even Warm Ones {a bottle of "Wärm Öne" appears}. Whoa! {clears screen, resumes typing} But where I come from, it's CUH-HOLD ONES. Though I have to admit, on certain evenings in late spring, a Cool One can be very refreshing. {stops typing} Ooh... That's a good One.
{A needlepoint picture of three "Cold One" bottles with the caption "A One That Isn't Cold, Is Scarcely A One At All" appears on the screen. The Paper comes down.}
Fun Facts
Trivia
- This is the last email that has no Easter Eggs until email #133, "bottom 10".
- The bottle of Not So Cold One states that they are served at "90 degrees or higher." This would make them far warmer than Room Temp-a-ture Ones, room temperature being somewhere in the low to mid 70s, but cooler than Warm Ones, which come "straight from the oven."
Remarks
- The needlepoint saying is improperly punctuated; it shouldn't have a comma between "cold" and "is."
- The back button has been written in needlepoint, but it is on the frame of the picture.
- Ironically, beer loses its flavor at colder temperatures.
- When Strong Bad types "the less of a one it is", he doesn't capitalize the word "one".
Inside References
- Strong Bad refers to the Property of Ones as "one of [his] bogus mathematical theorems" — the first was the Transitive Butt Property in butt IQ.
Real-World References
- The page title, "Still bloke" may be a reference to the Japanese language pronouncing "l" and "r" the same. When switched, it's "broke", which actually fits contextually.
- It is possible that this is a double reference, since the "foreign land" where they drink Wärm Önes would be assumed to be England or the British Isles, where a "bloke" is a casual reference to a male, generally equivalent to the vernacular "guy".
Fast Forward
- The Brothers Chaps later created a needlepoint animation using the same corkboard and wall background seen at the end of this toon.
External Links
watch "property of ones" on the old Flash site
view the Flash file for "property of ones"