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"I think that truck might be trying to kill me!"

Strong Bad Email #74

Strong Bad upgrades The Cheat's privileges, and the little guy ends up in a crisper drawer.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, Bubs (Easter Egg)

Places: Computer Room, Strong Bad's Basement

Computer: Compy 386

Date: May 26, 2003

Running Time: 2:22



STRONG BAD: {singing} Ohh-ho-oh ohh EEEEE-MAIL ME GIRL! {stops singing} Unh! Once times! Twice times!


{he pronounces "privaleges" as "pri-vah-lah-gez". He also says "strongbad" and "crazyclemens" quickly, since they're run together.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Privileges eh, C.C.? It does seem like The Cheat is overdue. Let's see, the last time I upgraded his privileges was when I reinstated his bathroom privileges. {replaces period with semicolon}; which he had previously abused. Let's see when he's due for an upgrade.

{Cut to wide shot of Strong Bad sitting at the Compy. He turns to the left and shouts.}

STRONG BAD: {calling out} Ohhh, The Cheat!

{The Cheat walks up behind him.}

STRONG BAD: Ohh, The Che—

THE CHEAT: {Squeaks}

STRONG BAD: WHOA! {Strong Bad starts and falls forward off of his stool flat on his face.}

STRONG BAD: {winces} Jeez, The Cheat! Can't sneak up on a brother like that... {gets up and turns to face The Cheat} ...Lemme see your Strong Bad Rewards Score Card.

{The Cheat holds up a yellow business card. The camera zooms in and we can read the card.}

       Strong Bad Rewards
          Score Card

                 member name:
                   T. Cheat

"Save up points to curry my favor!"

{At the bottom of the card we can see that four of the five points have been punched already.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh! You only need one more point to become a Medallion Gold Plus Club member!

{The Cheat squeaks with delight, and zips off. Drill noises are heard.}

STRONG SAD: {offscreen} Ow! Both my face and hands!

{The Cheat comes back}

STRONG BAD: Bwahahaha! That's definitely worth a point.

{The Cheat hands him the score card, and Strong Bad punches out the last hole.}

STRONG BAD: All right! Now let's see what new privileges await you!

{Strong Bad clears the screen and types run "medalliongoldplus.txt". The screen clears and lists the privileges for the Medallion Gold Plus Club:}

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, look at some of these! The crisper drawer, I know you've been wanting to get in there! Ooh, and the mute button! You could do plenty with that! These are way better than the rewards Bubs gives out for selling his magazine subscriptions! "Oh, save up points to win a tropical vacation!" What a scam that was.

{Cut to wide shot of Strong Bad sitting at the Compy, but The Cheat has already left.}

STRONG BAD: So what are you gonna do with your newfound powers, the Ch—

{Strong Bad turns his head to discover that The Cheat has left.}

STRONG BAD: Whuh? The Cheat?

{Cut to the basement. The Cheat is lying in the crisper drawer in front of the TV, muting and unmuting it. The TV is playing ominous music and a man is talking.}

MAN ON TV: ...think that truck is alive— {muted} {unmuted} —truck that tried to kill me— {muted}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Bing-bong!

THE CHEAT: {Squeaks, sounds like "Hello" or "Come in."}

{Homestar enters from the left carrying a pizza box as The Cheat unmutes the TV again.}

MAN ON TV: ...probably think I'm crazy, but that truck— {muted}

{While Homestar talks, The Cheat continues to mute and unmute the TV.}

HOMESTAR: Hey, The Cheat! Bubs asked me to bring you this pizza you ordered. It's a large, thin crust, with mushrooms and Pop-Tarts.

THE CHEAT: {Squeaks, sounds like "Put it down."}


{Homestar drops the pizza on the couch as The Cheat unmutes the TV again.}

MAN ON TV: ...chasing me as if it were trying to kill— {muted}

HOMESTAR: Soooo.... {produces some magazines} you wanna buy some magazine subscriptions?

THE CHEAT: {makes dismissive The Cheat noises, sounds like "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, c'mon! Help me out! I'm trying to go to Acapulco.

{The Cheat unmutes the TV again.}

MAN ON TV: ...think that truck might be trying to kill me!

{A screeching and crashing noise is heard on the TV before The Cheat mutes it again. Strong Bad pokes his head in from the right.}

STRONG BAD: Well, C.C., The Cheat ended up in the crisper drawer. So until next week, so long, and thanks for all the privaleges {pronounces "privalages" as "pri-vah-lah-gez" again}... I guess...

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • You can no longer click on the word "abused" when Strong Bad says it, but originally it restarted the toon. It may have been a placeholder for an unactivated Easter egg, or it could have just been a glitch in the toon.
  • You can click on the pizza box to see the top of it. (It says: "Bubs' Old Pizza 'It's-A Really Old'")
  • You can click on the Fretmagic magazines after the paper comes down to see Gary Palaroncini (from Limozeen) demonstrate the "Hardest Chord Ever" (be sure to do this before torching them, see below.) Note: The chord requires eleven fingers. Talk about a difficult chord!
 The Hardest Chord Ever

Staten Island fretmaster Gary Palaroncini discovered
the 'hardest chord ever' last week in his basement studio.
Palaroncini had been in hot pursuit of the chord for the
better part of 6 years. "I finally got it!" said Palaroncini.
The chord is a combination of a diminished 9th and a
demonished 10th. "This chord is going to land me a
sweet record deal
with Shrapnel and
hopefully some
fine honies, too.
The chord was
perfected on a
Ibanez G800-XV.
Palaroncini's mom
is reportedly very
  • After doing the above, you can also click on The Cheat's hand to get him to torch the lame magazines.

HOMESTAR: Ooh, three points.

{Strong Bad pokes his head in again}

STRONG BAD: Ooooh, and another point for you, The Cheat.

Fun Facts


  • The hole punches are in the shape of Strong Bad's boxing gloves.
  • The Cheat makes use of four of his new privileges in this toon: the crisper drawer, the mute button, pizza toppings (mushrooms and Pop-Tarts), and the BMW Lighter (to torch Homestar's magazines).
  • The "Hardest Chord Ever", as explained by the Fretmagic article, technically doesn't exist. "Demonished 10th" is meaningless musical jargon, although there is a such thing as a diminished 9th chord.
  • "The hardest chord ever" requires 11 fingers.


  • Strong Bad and the stool are knocked to the ground, yet even though he never picks it up, he is still able to sit on it when checking The Cheat's new privileges.
  • When Homestar walks in to deliver the pizza, his shirt changes color.
  • The quote in the article The Hardest Chord Ever about how it landed Palaroncini a sweet record deal doesn't have a closing quote mark.

Real-World References

  • "So long, and thanks for all the privaleges" is a reference to Douglas Adams's book, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish.
  • Possible references for the TV show The Cheat is watching:
    • Duel, a 1971 TV movie starring Dennis Weaver as a commuter menaced by a mysterious, homicidal tanker truck driver. It was Steven Spielberg's first feature-length film.
    • Maximum Overdrive, a movie based on Stephen King's story about trucks (among other things) that come to life and try to kill people.
    • Christine, a movie based on a Stephen King novel about an evil antique car with a mind of its own.
  • "The Flying Vee" is a reference to Gibson's Flying V guitar. Gibson designed it in 1958, along with the Explorer, in an attempt to doff its conservative image. However, it worked too well, as it sold poorly at that time. It wasn't until the late 1960s and '70s, and especially the advent of heavy metal, that the Flying V gained renewed popularity.
  • Ibanez (mentioned in the "Hardest Chord" Easter egg) is a real guitar maker whose guitars are popular in heavy metal circles; however, it doesn't appear that they've ever made any model called "G800-XV."
  • "Saturday Segwayday" is a reference to the Segway scooter, a self-balancing scooter touted to revolutionize human transport. Investors expected hundreds of thousands of units to be sold, generating billions of dollars in sales in the first year. In reality, the Segway sold around only 10,000 units in its first few years and is still trying to overcome an identity crisis.
  • "Going to Acapulco" is a song by Bob Dylan & The Band, from the album "The Basement Tapes".

Fast Forward

  • The TV show watched by The Cheat is watched by Strong Bad in Cool Things.

DVD Version

  • The magazines come back after The Cheat torches them.
  • The pizza easter egg is only available by using the angle button.

External Links

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