looking old

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Strong Bad Email #164
watch what i want strong badathlon
"Are you telling me the nightly nacho cheese masks aren't working?"

Strong Bad is in need of an image overhaul.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Three Keepers of Trogdor (Easter egg), The Cheat, Bubs, Strong Mad, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Homsar, Gavin, Strong Sad

Places: Computer Room, Bathroom of the Brothers Strong, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Garage, Living Room of the Brothers Strong, Strong Sad's Room

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, January 22, 2007

Running Time: 4:18

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Six



STRONG BAD: {slowly, as clock ticks are heard} Boom, tick. Tick-a-tick-a-tick, email. Boom, tick. Tick-a-tick-a-tick, What? Didgeri—

{Strong Bad reads the sender's name as "Andy, H-S-I-A-O and sometimes Y, from Taiwan."}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Look Andyman, my age is a closely guarded secret, protected by a sect of closely guarded monks high atop the Coches Mountains. {clears screen} They would no sooner dance with a goat than divulge my age. But they will bake you some crustly guarded bread! Anyways, whattaya mean I look old? Are you telling me the nightly nacho cheese masks aren't working?

{As he says this, cut to a shot of Strong Bad in the bathroom, looking in the mirror. His face is covered in nacho cheese, and he then covers his eyes with two corn chips, with jalapeño slices on them. Cut back to the computer.}

STRONG BAD: I can't have the young peoples thinking I'm old! Am I really losing the youth vote? This calls for an EMERGENCY MARKETING MEETING!!!

{Zoom out to a full view of Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: {imitating a siren} Whaaa-donk. Click-click-click-click-click-click-click.

{Cut to The Cheat watching TV.}

STRONG BAD: {echoing voice-over} This is not a drill.

{The Cheat gets off the couch and walks off. Cut to a silhouette view of Bubs' Concession Stand.}

STRONG BAD: {echoing voice-over} Whaaa-donk. Click-click-click-click-click-click-click. This is not a drill.

{Bubs leaves the concession stand and walks off. Cut to Strong Bad at a desk. There is an easel in the background holding a piece of paper labeled "EMERGENCY MARKETING MEETING!"}

STRONG BAD: Thank you all for coming on short such notice. You represent the best, the brightest, the people I hate the least. 'Cept you, Marzipan. You're here because of legal reasons.

MARZIPAN: Word booty!

STRONG BAD: Now what I need is an image overhaul. Something to reconnect me with the youth of today. Something that says—

{Zoom in on the easel, the front piece of paper is moved away, revealing a badly-drawn picture of Strong Bad on a skateboard and another person on roller skates, with the caption:}

STRONG BAD: "Sup my young parsons, I too am so on the go that I drink my yogurt from a tube". Now what have ya got?

{Cut to The Cheat with an overhead projector.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{He puts on a transparency:}


STRONG BAD: Youth through editing, huh? I'm on board, I'm not bored. So, how would it work?

{The Cheat hits a button on a remote control, and plays a remixed version of the email. Behind everything is techno music consisting of a drum track and occasional The Cheat noises. Several quick repetitions of Strong Bad bringing up the email play, with the tilt angle changing and zooming in on the screen further on each one. Cut to a shot of Strong Bad's head.}

STRONG BAD: Didgeri–dear—

{Cut to an extreme close-up of Strong Bad's eyes, moving across the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Didgeri–dear—

{Cut to an extreme close-up of Strong Bad's mouth, upside-down.}

STRONG BAD: Didgeri–dear Strong Bad.

{Cut to a side-on shot of Strong Bad at the computer desk, with the left side of the screen mirrored onto the right.}

STRONG BAD: You really do look old.

{The last two lines of the email on the computer screen slide into the top third of the screen, Strong Bad's hands on the keyboard slide into the bottom third, and a closeup of Strong Bad's eyes slides into the center third.}

STRONG BAD: Your faithful fan—

{The top and bottom thirds slide away, revealing the rest of Strong Bad's face.}

STRONG BAD: —from Taiwan.

{Pan across Strong Bad's hands on the computer. As he types, "]Look Andyman," appears in large letters along the top of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Look Andyman,

{Slowly zoom in on the computer screen, tilted at an angle, as Strong Bad types.}

STRONG BAD: My age is a closely guarded secret,

{Tracking lines appear and the shot rewinds to just after "Look Andyman," was typed, as the preceding line plays in reverse. Then a split-screen shot, in all four corners is the same shot of Strong Bad, each with a different color tint – red in the top left, yellow in the top right, green in the lower left and blue in the lower right.}

STRONG BAD: Anyways—

{A normal shot of Strong Bad typing.}

STRONG BAD: —whattaya—

{A close-up of Strong Bad's mouth.}

STRONG BAD: —mean I—

{A close-up of Strong Bad's typing hands.}

STRONG BAD: —look—

{A side view of Strong Bad's head.}


{A close-up of the electrical outlet under the desk. Then static, and we return to Strong Bad at the emergency marketing meeting. The disorienting sound effects from car play in the background, and Strong Bad is having trouble looking straight.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh... The Cheat... I don't know whether to puke or have a seizure...

{A piece of paper is put on the easel, with silhouettes of Strong Bad throwing up and seizing, labeled "STYLE 1" and "STYLE 2". Cut to Bubs, who has a folder labeled "GOOBAD IDEAS"}

BUBS: Well, I've been noticing how kids love anything with a lowercase "i" in front of it. It's working great for me down at the Concession Stand!

{Cut to the concession stand; on the desk there is a sign reading "10% OFF ALL iTems!" Pull back to see Homestar Runner and Homsar standing in line. The bottom line of the marquee reads "STAND [IN LINE]"}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {to Homsar} Hey, Homestar. What color iTem are you gonna get?

{Cut back to the meeting}

BUBS: We could try iStrong, or iBad...

STRONG BAD: We already tried that with lowercase "e"s back in the late '90s. We all know where that got us.

{Cut to a large number of boxes, all labeled "eStrong Vague Online Investments". The wind can be heard blowing through, and Gavin crawls in.}


{Cut to Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: I came up with a few ways to spruce up your look, and add hundreds to your resale value.

{Marzipan pulls out a piece of paper with a diagram of Strong Bad's head on it.}

STRONG BAD: {monotone} I am legally obligated to ask you to proceed.


{Zoom in on the diagram of Strong Bad's head. As Marzipan suggests changes, they appear on the diagram.}

MARZIPAN: First we're gonna start with a flagstone path leading up to your chin, right here. Then we'll fill the negative space around your head with Forsythia and maybe some Alberta spruce. And last, we install a water feature right here, {Strong Bad's forehead} which I think will create a great focal point for entertaining summer guests. {some outdoor tables and a deck chair appear}

{Cut back to the meeting.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, this'll work great, Marzipan. {dashes up to Marzipan} If I was a BACK YARD!!!

{As he shouts this, a strong wind blows out of his mouth, blowing Marzipan's hair around and rippling her cheeks.}


{Strong Mad pulls out a card, labeled "were a diper", a diaper decorated with pictures of Nebulon, hanging from the middle from what is labeled "dupp tape", and pictures on the right of "grass", "rocks" and "mounds".}


STRONG BAD: Uh, nice try, bo-hwee-moth, but that's a little younger than I was looking to go. These are all terrible ideas! What am I not paying you people for, anyway? It's time to resort to extreme measures. With Gene Hackman. It's time for a lace lift!

{A new piece of paper lands on the easel, with a diagram of the back of Strong Bad's head, an arrow pointing away from the shoelace knot at the bottom of the laces, and the caption "PULL THOSE SUCKAS TIGHT".}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat! Strong Mad! Prep for surgery!

{Cut to the lounge room, Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat enter from above wearing surgical gowns and masks.}

STRONG BAD: All right, on three.

{Cut to behind Strong Bad, Strong Mad is holding the shoelace knot.}

STRONG BAD: One... Two... Aah!!

{Strong Mad pulls the strings, deforming Strong Bad's head, and stretching out all of his facial features. His mouth is severely stretched, and his speech is mumbled and subtitled. Strong Mad's facial exspression becomes suprised.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, yeah. I feel at least 10 years younger. Time to go relate to some 18–24 year olds!

{Strong Bad walks to the dining room, making Homsar's walking noise, where Strong Sad is sitting staring at a plate of food with some peas and corn which he has lined up neatly.}

STRONG BAD: What's up, my fellow young parson?

STRONG SAD: Oh, hey Great Grandma. When did you get here?

STRONG BAD: I'm not Great Grandma. I'm a young person, like you. I eat my yogurt from a tube.

STRONG SAD: {smiling, amused} That's right! You eat everything through a tube! Well, let's get you back to the home.

STRONG BAD: Wait! I'm a hip young person!

STRONG SAD: Yes, I saw your new hip! It looks great!

{Strong Sad leads the protesting Strong Bad out of the room.}

STRONG SAD: {slowly fading away} Why don't you tell me again about the time the Depression fought Abraham Lincoln naked in your front yard?

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

A closely guarded secret
  • When Strong Bad is talking about the sect of closely guarded monks, click on the words "closely guarded monks" to see the The Three Keepers of Trogdor from Peasant's Quest standing around a chest in brown robes atop a mountain with lightning in the sky.
  • Click on "crustly guarded bread" to see a sample of the bread.
  • Click on the diaper to see a plane fly across the top of the screen with "WEAR A DIAPER!" towed behind it.
  • At the end, click on the fork to see Homestar in the eStrong warehouse:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {echoing voice} I'll take it! I'll take twelve!

Fun Facts


  • A facelift is a cosmetic surgery procedure where excess skin is removed from the face, to remove wrinkles.
  • "H, s, i, a, o, and sometimes y" refers to the Latin vowels, which are commonly listed as "a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y".
  • "Chai" means "tea" in Hindi, Macedonian, Bulgarian, and Russian and "living" in Hebrew. "L'Chaim" is a Hebrew toast meaning "to life." Chai tea is a type of strong black tea from the Middle East, primarily India, that is boiled in milk and water. A blend of spices and a large amount of sweetener (usually honey or plain white sugar) is added. The tea Marzipan drinks is also certified kosher, meaning that it meets Jewish dietary laws.
  • The "nightly nacho cheese mask" appears to be a type of facial. Usually, avocado is used. Avocados are the main ingredient in guacamole, another popular chip dip.
  • Strong Bad not knowing whether to "throw up" or "have a seizure" after seeing the Cheat's editing is a reference to motion sickness caused by the rapidly changing viewpoint, or an epileptic seizure caused by the flashing colors.
  • The word "Behemoth", as it is used in this email, refers to any very large person, animal or object. It derives from the name of a creature mentioned in the book of Job in the Bible.
  • Marzipan being there because of "legal reasons" refers to affirmative action


  • The floppy disk container reads "drakkhen".
  • This is the first time the Strongs' great-grandmother is mentioned.
  • This is the first email explicitly sent from Asia.
  • There was a 43 day delay between this email and what I want, probably caused by the holidays.
  • This is the first email that was put in New Stuff.
    • This is also the oldest cartoon on New Stuff.
  • This was the first Podstar Runner podcast after a nine-month hiatus. The summary reads, "Strong Bad tries to prove to the young people that he can still eat his yogurt through a tube."


  • During the Cheat's remixed version of the intro, clicking on the Lappy's screen will still produce the usual distortion effect.
    • However, on some shots, the distortion effect is dimmer than usual.
    • It doesn't work when there are closeups that point explicitly to Strong Bad's typing.
  • This email contains another example of Strong Sad Smiling.
  • Strong Bad's skull is bigger than the normal shape of his mask.
  • Early in the email, Strong Bad's pants are drawn in an old style.
  • The picture of Strong Bad skateboarding and drinking yogurt has him drawn without boxing gloves.


Yes, my mouth does look like a tube.
  • When Strong Bad says "18-24 year olds", the side of his mouth floats off of his head.
  • When Strong Sad says "Oh, hey Great Grandma. When did you get here?" his mouth is not properly synched to the word "here".
  • When Strong Sad is walking "to the home", his closed mouth is visible under his round mouth.


  • When Marzipan closes her eyes, you can see a dot flash near them, due to her trying to blink over her closed eyes. (Her usual closed eyes use a bigger area than that used in the email.) The effect can easily be observed if the email is paused while her eyes are closed.
    • This also occurs in the email marzipan.
  • When the "Wear A Diaper" airplane flies by, the video pauses and lags for a split second. This is due to the sound file for the airplane being loaded.

Inside References

  • The music that plays when Strong Bad summons his "marketing staff" was used in candy product when he described the SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar.
  • The background "nausea" sound effect heard after The Cheat's editing presentation is the same as the one used in car, when Strong Bad punches Homestar, and in Biz Cas Fri 2, when Homestar shows up to work, possibly hungover.
  • Nebulon appears on the diaper and uses the same art from best thing.
  • The "WEAR A DIAPER!" Easter egg is a reference to Wear a Bikini!, especially Main Page 3.
  • The music playing during Marzipan's backyard idea is an extended version of the music playing at the very end of redesign.
  • The music that plays when Strong Bad is mistaken for his great-grandmother was first used in portrait.
  • Homestar's line "I'll take it! I'll take twelve!" is lifted directly from garage sale.
  • Part of the suspenseful cliffhanger music is used when Strong Bad reveals his plan for a lace lift.
  • The Coches Mountains were previously mentioned in geddup noise.
  • When Strong Bad walks after he's had his "lace lift" he makes Homsar's walking noise.
  • The diaper display is the same as the displays used by Strong Bad and Homestar in the All-Wide Science Fair as seen in the email caffeine.
  • Strong Mad's scrubs and surgical mask were seen previously in bedtime story.
  • Strong Mad's "dupp tape" is another occurrence of duct tape.
  • Strong Bad's emphasis on "BACK YARD!!!" was the same as Blue Laser of the Cheat Commandos', when referring to their new hideout (his nana's backyard).
  • Feeding Through a Tube was last heard in No Hands On Deck! when Cardboard Marzipan said "...and they feed the ducks through a tube".
  • This is another appearance of bread.

Real-World References

A pop artist's take on the wrestleman
  • Eating your yogurt from a tube is a reference to Go-Gurt, a brand of "portable yogurt", or "Yo on the go".
  • The "lowercase i" theme refers to the naming scheme Apple uses for their products, such as the iPod, iMac, iBook, iPhone, etc.
    • Perhaps fittingly, this email was the first of the 2008 podstar runner podcasts for iPods.
  • Extreme Measures is a 1996 thriller starring Gene Hackman.
  • The split-screen shot with Strong Bad in four different color tints refers to Andy Warhol's art.
  • Strong Bad's statement about using "lowercase 'e's back in the late '90s" refers to the common marketing technique in that era to attach "e" as in "electronic" to a product to ride the coattails of the burgeoning e-commerce industry, which took the "e" in its name from electronic mail, e-mail.
    • The "eStrong Vague Online Investments", and the apparent failure of eStrong are references to the dot-com bubble.
    • eStrong Vague Online Investments, especially the logo, is also a reference to eMachines, now owned and produced by Acer.
  • The concept of monks who bake bread could be a reference to the Trappist monks of the Abbey of the Genesee who are known for baking bread.

DVD Version

  • The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

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