looking old

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(Explanations: Nowhere does she say that she's a vegan, she's a vegetarian. It could be milcheg tea.)
(Fun Facts)
Line 223: Line 223:
*This is the first time the Strongs' [[Parents|great-grandmother]] is mentioned.
*This is the first time the Strongs' [[Parents|great-grandmother]] is mentioned.
*This is the first email sent from Asia.
*This is the first email sent from Asia.
*During the Cheat's remixed version of the intro, clicking on the Lappy's screen will still produce the usual distortion effect.

Revision as of 16:22, 22 January 2007

Strong Bad Email #164
watch what I want some kinda robot
Are you telling me the nightly nacho cheese masks aren't working?

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Three Keepers of Trogdor (Easter egg), The Cheat, Bubs, Strong Mad, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Homsar, Gavin, Strong Sad

Places: Computer Room, Bathroom of the Brothers Strong, Strong Bad's Basement, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Garage, Living Room of the Brothers Strong, Strong Sad's Room

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: January 22, 2007

Running Time: 4:18

Page Title: Lappy 486



STRONG BAD: {slowly} Boom, tick. Tick-a-tick-a-tick, email. Boom, tick. Tick-a-tick-a-tick, What? Didgeri—

{Strong Bad reads the sender's name as "Andy, H-S-I-A-O and sometimes Y, from Taiwan."}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Look Andyman, my age is a closely guarded secret, protected by a sect of closely guarded monks high atop the Coches Mountains. {clears screen} They would no sooner dance with a goat than divulge my age. But they will bake you some crustly guarded bread! Anyways, whattaya mean I look old? Are you telling me the nightly nacho cheese masks aren't working?

{As he says this, cut to a shot of Strong Bad in the bathroom, looking in the mirror. His face is covered in nacho cheese, and he then covers his eyes with two corn chips, with jalapeño slices on them. Cut back to the computer.}

STRONG BAD: I can't have the young peoples thinking I'm old! Am I really losing the youth vote? This calls for an EMERGENCY MARKETING MEETING!!!

{Zoom out to a full view of Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: {imitating a siren} Whaaa-donk. Click-click-click-click-click-click-click.

{Cut to The Cheat watching TV.}

STRONG BAD: {echoing voice-over} This is not a drill.

{The Cheat gets off the couch and walks off. Cut to a silhouette view of Bubs' Concession Stand.}

STRONG BAD: {echoing voice-over} Whaaa-donk. Click-click-click-click-click-click-click. This is not a drill.

{Bubs leaves the concession stand and walks off. Cut to Strong Bad at a desk. There is an easel in the background holding a piece of paper labelled "EMERGENCY MARKETING MEETING!"}

STRONG BAD: Thank you all for coming on short such notice. You represent the best, the brightest, the people I hate the least. 'Cept you, Marzipan. You're here because of legal reasons.

MARZIPAN: We're ditty!

STRONG BAD: Now what I need is an image overhaul. Something to reconnect me with the youth of today. Something that says—

{Zoom in on the easel, the front piece of paper is moved away, revealing a badly-drawn picture of Strong Bad on a skateboard and another person on roller skates, with the caption:}

STRONG BAD: "Sup my young parsons, I too am so on the go that I drink my yogurt from a tube". Now what have ya got?

{Cut to The Cheat with an overhead projector. He puts on a transparency:}


STRONG BAD: Youth through editing, huh? I'm on board, I'm not bored. So, how would it work?

{The Cheat hits a button on a remote control, and plays a remixed version of the email. Behind everything is techno music consisting of a drum track and occasional The Cheat noises. Several quick repetitions of Strong Bad bringing up the email play, with the tilt angle changing and zooming in on the screen further on each one. Cut to a shot of Strong Bad's head.}

STRONG BAD: Dijjery–dear—

{Cut to an extreme close-up of Strong Bad's eyes, moving across the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Dijjery–dear—

{Cut to an extreme close-up of Strong Bad's mouth, upside-down.}

STRONG BAD: Dijjery–dear Strong Bad.

{Cut to a side-on shot of Strong Bad at the computer desk, with the left side of the screen mirrored onto the right.}

STRONG BAD: You really do look old.

{The last two lines of the email on the computer screen slide into the top third of the screen, Strong Bad's hands on the keyboard slide into the bottom third, and a closeup of Strong Bad's eyes slides into the centre third.}

STRONG BAD: Your faithful fan—

{The top and bottom thirds slide away, revealing the rest of Strong Bad's face.}

STRONG BAD: —from Taiwan.

{Pan across Strong Bad's hands on the computer. As he types, "]Look Andyman," appears in large letters along the top of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Look Andyman,

{Slowly zoom in on the computer screen, tilted at an angle, as Strong Bad types.}

STRONG BAD: My age is a closely guarded secret,

{Tracking lines appear and the shot rewinds to just after "Look Andyman," was typed. Then a split-screen shot, in all four corners is the same shot of Strong Bad, each with a different colour tint – red in the top left, yellow in the top right, green in the lower left and blue in the lower right.}

STRONG BAD: Anyways—

{A normal shot of Strong Bad typing.}

STRONG BAD: —whattaya—

{A close-up of Strong Bad's mouth.}

STRONG BAD: —mean I—

{A close-up of Strong Bad's typing hands.}

STRONG BAD: —look—

{A side view of Strong Bad's head.}


{A close-up of the power point under the desk. Then static, and we return to Strong Bad at the emergency marketing meeting. Disorienting sound effects play in the background, and Strong Bad is having trouble looking straight.}

STRONG BAD: Oh... The Cheat... I don't know whether to puke or have a seizure...

{A piece of paper is put on the easel, with silhouettes of Strong Bad throwing up and seizing, labelled "STYLE 1" and "STYLE 2". Cut to Bubs, who has a folder labelled "GOOBAD IDEAS"}

BUBS: Well, I've been noticing how kids love anything with a lowercase "i" in front of it. It's working great for me down at the Concession Stand!

{Cut to the concession stand, on the desk there is a sign reading "10% OFF ALL iTems!" Pull back to see Homestar Runner and Homsar standing in line.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {to Homsar} Hey, Homestar. What color iTem are you gonna get?

{Cut back to the meeting}

BUBS: We could try iStrong, or iBad...

STRONG BAD: We already tried that with lowercase "e"s back in the late '90s. We all know where that got us.

{Cut to a large number of boxes, all labelled "eStrong Vague Online Investments". The wind can be heard blowing through, and Gavin walks in.}


{Cut to Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: I came up with a few ways to spruce up your look, and add hundreds to your resell value.

{Marzipan pulls out a piece of paper with a diagram of Strong Bad's head on it.}

STRONG BAD: {monotone} I am legally obligated to ask you to proceed.


{Zoom in on the diagram of Strong Bad's head. As Marzipan suggests changes, they appear on the diagram.}

MARZIPAN: First we're gonna start with a flagstone path leading up to your chin, right here. Then we'll fill the negative space around your head with Forsythia and maybe some Alberta spruce. And last, we install a water feature right here, {Strong Bad's forehead} which I think will create a great focal point for entertaining summer guests. {some outdoor tables and a deck chair appear}

{Cut back to the meeting.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, this'll work great, Marzipan. If I was a BACKYARD!

{He says this last word so loud that a strong wind blows out his mouth, blowing Marzipan's hair around and rippling her cheeks.}


{Strong Mad pulls out a card, labelled "were a diaper", a diaper with Nebulon pictures on it hanging from the middle from what is labelled "dupp tape", and pictures on the right of "grass", "rocks" and "mounds".}


STRONG BAD: Uh, nice try, bo-hwee-moth, but that's a little younger than I was looking {pronounced as loo-king} to go. These are all terrible ideas! What am I not paying you people for, anyway? It's time to resort to extreme measures. With Gene Hackman. It's time for a lace lift!

{A new piece of paper lands on the easel, with a diagram of the back of Strong Bad's head, an arrow pointing away from the shoelace knot at the bottom of the laces, and the caption "PULL THOSE SUCKAS TIGHT".}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat! Strong Mad! Prep for surgery!

{Cut to the lounge room, Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat enter from above wearing surgical gowns and masks.}

STRONG BAD: Alright, on three.

{Cut to behind Strong Bad, Strong Mad is holding the shoelace knot.}

STRONG BAD: One... Two... Aah!

{Strong Mad pulls the strings, deforming Strong Bad's head, and stretching out all of his facial features. His mouth is severely stretched, and his speech is mumbled and subtitled.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, yeah. I feel at least 10 years younger. Time to go relate to some 18-24 year olds!

{Strong Bad walks to the dining room, where Strong Sad is sitting.}

STRONG BAD: Hello, my fellow young person! {The subtitles read "What's up, my fellow young parson?"}

STRONG SAD: Oh, hey Great Grandma. When did you get here?

STRONG BAD: I'm not Great Grandma. I'm a young person, like you. I eat my yogurt from a tube.

STRONG SAD: That's right! You eat everything through a tube! Well, let's get you back to the home.

STRONG BAD: Wait! I'm a hip young person!

STRONG SAD: Yes, I saw your new hip! It looks great!

{Strong Sad leads the complaining Strong Bad out of the room.}

STRONG SAD: Why don't you tell me again about the time the Depression fought Abraham Lincoln naked in your front yard?

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

A closely guarded secret
  • When Strong bad is talking about the sect of closely guarded monks, click on the words 'closely guarded monks' to see the Three Keepers of Trogdor atop a mountain with lightning and treasure.
  • Click on 'crustly guarded bread' to see a sample of the bread.
  • Click on the diaper to see a plane fly across the top of the screen with 'WEAR A DIAPER!' towed behind it.
  • At the end, click on the fork to see Homestar in the eStrong warehouse:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {echoing voice} I'll take it! I'll take 12!

Fun Facts


  • A facelift is a cosmetic surgery procedure where excess skin is removed from the face, to remove wrinkles.
  • "H, s, i, a, o, and sometimes y" refers to the Latin vowels, which are sometimes listed as "a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y".
  • "Chai" means "tea" in Hindi and "life" in Hebrew. "L'Chaim" is a Hebrew toast meaning "to life." The tea Marzipan drinks is also certified kosher, meaning that it meets Jewish dietary guidelines.


  • The floppy disk container reads "drakkhen".
  • This is the first time the Strongs' great-grandmother is mentioned.
  • This is the first email sent from Asia.


  • During the Cheat's remixed version of the intro, clicking on the Lappy's screen will still produce the usual distortion effect.


"Yes, you eat everything through a tube."
  • When Strong Sad is walking "to the home", his closed mouth is visible under his round mouth.


  • When Marzipan closes her eyes, you can see a dot flash near them. This is because she blinks every four seconds or so, and with her eyes closed, she attempts to blink over her closed eyes. The effect can easily be observed if the email is paused while her eyes are closed.

Inside References

  • The music that plays when Strong Bad summons his "marketing staff" was originally used in candy product when he described the SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar.
  • Nebulon appears on the diaper.
  • The "WEAR A DIAPER!" Easter egg is a reference to Wear a Bikini!, especially Main Page 3.
  • The music that plays when Strong Bad is mistaken for his great-grandmother was first used in portrait.
  • "I'll take it! I'll take twelve!" is a direct line from garage sale.
  • Part of the suspenseful cliffhanger music is used when Strong Bad reveals his plan for a lace lift.

Real World References

A pop artist's take on the wrestleman
  • Eating your yogurt from a tube is a reference to Go-Gurt, a brand of "portable yogurt", or "Yo on the go".
    • In the case of Canada, it refers to Yoplait Tubes.
  • The "items with a lowercase I before it" refers to Apple's many products with that naming scheme, such as the iPod, iMac and iPhone.
  • Extreme Measures is a 1996 thriller starring Gene Hackman.
  • "Didgeri-Dear Strong Bad" is a reference to the didgeridoo, an instrument used by Australian Aborigines.
  • The split-screen shot with Strong Bad in four different color tints refers to Andy Warhol's art.

External Links

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