long pants
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad Email #127
Strong Bad shows us how to write a proper email, and addresses Homestar's lack of pants. Homestar goes nuts.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Marzipan (Easter Egg)
Date: March 28, 2005
Running Time: 3:04
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: And if I email you, girl! Woman! {He holds up pieces of paper that say "Girl." and "Woman." as he says those words} Oh, won't you email me, girl? Woman? {He holds up the papers again. Then he brings up the email:}
Dear Strongbad, Why doesn't homestar ever wear pants? It's kind of creepy how he walks around with no pants on all the time. Anyway, I think you should get him some pants, maybe some parachute pants would work...yeah, that would work. Or maybe some clown pants, I don't care, just get him some pants! Tootles! Clancy
{Strong Bad skips everything between "Anyway" and "I don't care" and, instead, says "Blabbity blah, blah blebbity bloo". He also pronounces "Tootles" as "Toot-less" and "Clancy" as "Clanky".}
STRONG BAD: Aw, {begins typing} Too long, Clanky, too looong! Good thing you didn't indent, man, or this never woulda made it past my 2nd paragraph filter: {types 'run "Edga Jr."'} Edga Jr.
{The splash screen for "Edga Jr. The Long Email Killa Filta" comes up}
STRONG BAD: Aw, look at him. He's one o' dem read-haireded rapscalli... wags. {returns to the email} Well, I think we can salvage this one with a little editing. Let me once again call upon the services of my trusty, somewhat dusty, electronic light-pen ink-put high-tech expensive device! Now on HD! {he pulls out a correction pen having the words "X-PENSIVE WHITE" and shakes it} Just have to shake up the... expensive electrons here. All set! So, let's see! {he mumbles and says} Such a high-tech device... {as he whites out the words, producing:}
Dear Strongbad, Whydoesn't homestar everwear pants?It's kind ofcreepyhow he walks around with nopantsonall the time.Anyway, I think you shouldgethimsomepants,maybesomeparachutepants would work...yeah, that would work. Ormaybesomeclownpants, I don'tcare,just get himsomepants! Tootles!Clancy
STRONG BAD: There! Now let's see what we got! {re-reads the altered email} Dear Strongbad, Why wear pants? Creepy pants all the time get some. Maybe parachute, maybe clown care. Some ants toot! Clanky. {begins typing} Now there's an email worth answering! Some ants toot. Tee-hee! {clears screen, but the correction fluid remains} So, why wear pants? An age old question. Was it not Adam west who once said, "E-
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {from offscreen} Hey, Strong Bad! {camera pans back to show Homestar wearing very short purple pants} Check out my creepy pants!
STRONG BAD: {looking away} Ew, Homestar! What're you wearing them Daisy Dukes for?!
{Homestar's pants shine.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: 'Cuz you said, "creepy pants all the time get some."
STRONG BAD: Get some what?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I dunno. Light globes?
STRONG BAD: {sotto voce} Light globes.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You know, like in a lamp! Light globes! {his pants shine again}
STRONG BAD: So... you put on hotpants in the hopes of getting some lightbulbs.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Globes. {his pants shine again}
STRONG BAD: Well, since you're here, let's talk about your pants. Or your lack thereof. Daisy Dukes aside.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What are you talking about, Strong Bad? I wear long pants.
STRONG BAD: Um... no, from what I can tell, you wear no pants and have blue soles glued to the bottoms of your feet. {indicates Homestar's feet}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, that's simply not true. I have long pants and wear long pants. I'm a long pants man. Long pants, long pants! {starts getting upset and dances around}
STRONG BAD: Okay, calm down... I didn't mean to-
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {jumps high into the air, and convulses on Strong Bad's desk} Long pants, Strong Bad! The longest pants! Everybody everybody! Longest pants! {starts teleporting around the room} Long long long long long long pants!
STRONG BAD: All right, that's it! We need to get you some serious clown care, man!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: But I was told long pants! Long pants! They said long pants! Always long pants! {leans toward Strong Bad} Long, my pants! Gleaming pants! Glowiest pants! {runs away, leaving his pants behind. They fall on Strong Bad's foot.}
STRONG BAD: Bleh! Egh! BLEEEGGEHHEGH!
{He attempts to shake the pants off. He eventually does, and The Cheat appears stage left to burn them to a crisp with the BMW lighter.}
THE CHEAT: {says something}
{The Cheat leaves, and Strong Bad turns back to the computer.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Noice work, Clanky. You made Homestar go nuts and you've seriously creeped me out. And how am I supposed to get this crap offa here? {Everything starting with the "t" in "get" is obscured by the dried correction fluid. Strong Bad grabs a cloth and attempts to wipe the correction fluid off the screen, to no avail. He mutters:} Stupid... made-up technology... that I made up... Light pen... {mumbles} The Cheat! Call tech support and tell 'em you broke the Lappy again!
{The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- Selecting "Why wear pants" will bring up some fortune cookies, similar to those in the old Fortune Cookies game.
- Clicking on the socket under the table after Strong Bad says "Clown Care" brings up a business card for the service.
- Selecting "creeped" at the end of the email reveals a touching moment between Homestar and Marzipan.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Lying in bed, crying} Lonnnng paaaannnts!
- MARZIPAN: Awww, there there, Homestar. It's not so bad. Everybody thinks I'm a broom.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Sits up suddenly, surprised} You're not a broom?
Fun Facts
Explanations
- Daisy Dukes are extremely short cut-offs, so named for the character from Dukes of Hazzard that wore them.
Trivia
- This is the first time we notice Strong Bad's eyelids.
Remarks
- Homestar has been known to wear pants for certain in Holiday Toons.
Goofs
- Although Strong Bad puts pressure onto the Lappy's screen when trying to rub off the marker, no ripples pop up on the screen.
Inside References
- The Cheat torches Homestar's Daisy Dukes with the BMW Lighter.
- Edga Jr. is a reference to the e-mail virus, where his ambiguous relation, Edgar, created Strong Bad's virus protection program.
- Edga Jr. bears a striking resemblance to Tompkins.
- When Homestar "goes nuts", he teleports all over the screen at one point. While he does, he takes on the appearance of his video game counterpart seen in Main Page 13 for a few frames.
- Also, when Homestar finishes going nuts, the screen turns red, like in Where the Crap Are We?
- The business card easter egg makes reference to the Tragic Hotdog Clown from part-time job.
- Homestar says "Everybody everybody" in his tirade, a reference to the Intro.
Real-World References
- Adam West is an actor best known for his role as Batman on the campy '60s TV show.
