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Strong Bad Email #152
watch senior prom some kinda robot
"Ma'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is not a cup holder."

Gary from the UK asks about Strong Bad's ISP.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Strong Mad

Places: Computer Room, The Office, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Garage

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: May 16, 2006

Running Time: 3:22

Page Title: Lappy 486

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} A badaladoo, it's time for email, bra-doop-ba-dabadoo.

{Strong Bad says "Not even close," very quickly after "Your bestest buddy in the whole wide world," and says "UK" as, "You 'kay?"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Yeah, I'm fine, Gary. Calm down. Of course I've got the internet. How else could I download this awesome animated gif/gif of a cute breakdancing rodent? {Pronounces "gif/gif" as /gif/, /jif/}

{A progress bar pops up with a ding that says "11% Complete" with "Less than a fortnight remaining" below}

STRONG BAD: {typing} What??!! Eleven percent? I started downloading this thing like two days ago! Oh, that's IT!! Hold on to your fat, sweaty D&D playing headsets, tech support. 'Cuz Strong Bad's about to Do-Sum-Bow-Dis!

{The camera rotates around the Lappy to a rear view as Strong Bad picks up the telephone. There is a phone ringing sound and the screen is split by a phone cord with Homestar Runner in the office on the left and Strong Bad on the right. On Homestar's cubicle wall there is a Post-It Note that reads "Note to self: Chew more." Homestar wears a headset.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thank you for calling the internet, may I have your account number or identity theft, please?

STRONG BAD: No, but you can have a heapin' helpin' of my unbridled rage!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {reading slowly from sheets of paper} Ma'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is not a cup holder. {turns page} I cannot help you clear your browser cache. No, I'm not in India.

STRONG BAD: Shut up and listen. {bangs hand on keyboard, causing Homestar to drop the papers in surprise} My internet is crawling along like... something... funny... that crawls along.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, I can help you with that. Please hold while I transfer you to someone who can help you with that.

STRONG BAD: {incredulous} What?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Doo doot-tsp. Do doo doot-tsp. Do doo doot-tsp.

{Cut to a long shot of the office as Homestar stands up. Homestar is the only visible tech representative.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {still singing} It's the hold music, do doot-tsp. Pa doo doot-tsp. Doodoo doo doot-tsp. {high pitched voice} Hold, music!

{Cut back to the splitscreen as Homestar sits down.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thank you for holding. Your call is very unportant to us. The next available representative wi—okay, I'm back! Lemme just verify your address so I can send you my weight in free sign-up CDs.

STRONG BAD: Ugh, enough! {bangs hand against keyboard again} I'm marching my pasty white bwathom down there to talk to the man in charge!

{He slams the phone down and walks offscreen during Homestar's next line.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm so glad we could get that resolved. Is there anything else I could—

{Cut to Strong Bad marching across The Field at dusk as march music plays in the background. Strong Bad ends up at Bubs' Concession Stand, slightly out of breath from the marching.}

BUBS: {as the camera zooms in} Well if it isn't my lone internet customer. How's e-business?

{Cut to Strong Bad from inside the concession stand.}

STRONG BAD: Now listen here, old man Bubs! What's the big idea of throttling me down?!

BUBS: Throttling you down?! That's not one of the ninety-nine ways I rip you off!

STRONG BAD: Well, back in the day I used to connect at twelve-hundred baud, but ever since the merger I'm lucky if I get twelve baud.

BUBS: Hmm.

{Cut back to Bubs.}

BUBS: Let's head down to the Datum Center and see what we can find.

STRONG BAD: Dat'um sounds good.

{Vertical scroll wipe to the garage which is currently housing several computers with Bubs' face on them and is sporting a sign labelled, "Datum Center". The march music returns briefly as Strong Bad again marches into scene.}

BUBS: {indicating the computers} So this is where the magic happens. I wonder where the trouble could be.

STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Yeah, I wonder.

{Camera pulls back to reveal a computer with a garden hose sticking out of it and smoke issuing from the back}

STRONG BAD: It's probably not this computer with the garden hose coming out of it.

BUBS: Hey! Somebody's suckin' up all my bandwidth!

{Cut to a hole in the wall with the garden hose running through, then outside to Strong Mad sucking on the end of the hose. Strong Bad and Bubs walk up.}

STRONG BAD: Strong Mad!

{Startled, Strong Mad takes the hose out of his mouth. His mouth is now tiny.}

STRONG MAD: {in a high-pitched voice} I'M A WEBSITE!

{Cut to Strong Bad and Bubs as they both start laughing, with the off-screen Strong Mad soon joining in (in his regular voice). The laughter gets more and more hysterical until it reaches a psychotic peak. At that point we cut back to the Lappy. For a moment, the status bar reads "99%" and has "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." written below where it previously read "Less than a fortnight remaining". With a ding, this is replaced by "100%" and "Already?!!" The Lappy's screen then shows an animated gif of a rat dancing to a computer tune similar to Homestar's hold music. The rat is then replaced by yellow text that says "NOT REALLY BREAK DANCING" and The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

CD Runner
  • When Homestar mentions the free sign-up CDs, click on the post-it note that reads "note to self: chew more" to see a picture of them.
  • At the end of the email, click on the "O" in "Not Really Break Dancing" to see a collection of free sign-up CDs in the shape of Homestar running backed by music similar to the Theme Song Video. This particular musical arrangement was heard in Bug In Mouth Disease.

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • D&D stands for Dungeons & Dragons, a popular pen and paper role-playing game that, like working in tech support, is often associated with "geek culture".
  • Baud is a term used to describe the data transmission speed of modems, meaning "symbols per second". Note that a single symbol can convey more than one bit - therefore, 1200 baud is only 1200 bits per second under certain encoding schemes.
  • Datum is the singular form of the word data.
  • A fortnight is a period of two weeks. The word "fortnight" is most often used in the UK, which is where the emailer is from.
  • Throttling means limiting the amount of data that can be sent through a network connection. An ISP might throttle a connection to a customer who uses a disproportionate amount of bandwidth, or throttle a specific network application (such as bittorrent or other popluar Peer-2-Peer software) to keep it from slowing down other applications.

Remarks

The lappy's back panel
  • It is unclear how Strong Bad is connected to the Internet - there does not appear to be a network cable plugged in to the back of the Lappy, and it is unlikely that the computer has a wireless connection (even though he was able to answer e-mails from under Homestar's kitchen table in part-time job). However, it is possible that Strong Bad's Internet connection works in a similar way to the Disconnected Telephones.
  • The GIF file format does not support any form of sound on its own. The animation that Strong Bad downloaded is either not a true animated GIF, or it is embedded in a webpage that also contains embedded sound similar to a YTMND.
  • When Homestar says the word "internet" after he first answers Strong Bad's call, he speaks without his trademark speech impediment. Same goes for "representative" while Strong Bad is on hold.
  • Bubs refers to Strong Bad as his lone internet customer. It is unknown whether Free Country USA has other ISPs, but Strong Sad, The Cheat, and Homestar all seem to be connected to the internet too. However, The Cheat and Strong Sad would presumably use Strong Bad's internet connection since their computers are in the same residence, and it's possible Homestar gets his connection for free as an employment benefit. Pom Pom may or may not have subscribed to an ISP through his Pom Pilot, though he can clearly access the Internet.
  • While the first time we saw the back of the Lappy was in the email part-time job, this is the first time we have seen a clear view of the various ports and inputs on the back of the computer.
  • Although they are normally considered unimpressive, the gif does employ two common dance moves: The Cabbage Patch and Raise the Roof.
  • At the end of the email, outside the frame on the left, just below The Paper, there is an invisible button. Clicking on it doesn't appear to do anything.

Goofs

Walking backwards?
  • The last time Homestar imitates the hi-hat sound in his hold music or when he's getting up from his chair, his mouth doesn't move.
  • Bubs' mouth outline is just barely visible on the backside of his silhouette. Altering the brightness and contrast can make the error more apparent.

Inside References

  • Strong Mad first unsuccessfully attempted to alter his voice in helium.
  • Strong Bad's confusion over the pronunciation of the word "GIF" is a reference to website.
    • Strong Bad was also first seen using an animated GIF involving a rodent in that email.
  • The Easter egg at the end refers to Bug In Mouth Disease, which in turn refers to Theme Song Video.
  • The icon of a 5 1/4 inch floppy disc on the download-progress screen is another instance of Strong Bad using outdated technology.
  • The tech support scene also has a Disconnected Telephone.

Real World References

  • When Homestar says "No, I'm not in India," he is referring to the outsourcing of Western tech-support labor to countries with lower labor costs, such as India.
  • The absurd number of "free sign-up CDs" is a reference to the ISP America Online, who is notorious for aggressively marketing its services with free-trial CDs through mass mailings, newspaper and magazine inserts, and in-store displays.
  • Homestar's mention of a lady who used her CD-ROM drive as a cupholder is part of an urban legend about a notorious tech-support call.
  • Strong Bad's "have a heapin' helpin' of my unbridled rage" is a reference to the similar phrase "have a heapin' helpin' of our hospitality," which appears in the closing credits music of The Beverly Hillbillies.

External Links

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