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Strong Bad Email #176
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"What is John missing that Gene has?"

Strong Bad helps John with his hygiene video problem with some help from Embarrassing Educational Films.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Pom Pom, The Sad Kids

Places: Computer Room, The Classroom (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, August 27, 2007

Running Time: 4:06

Page Title: Lappy 486



STRONG BAD: {singing} Step 1! You check an email down, Step 2! Tell some kid he's a dork!

{Strong Bad pronounces "Katulla" as "Katulalalalala"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Fifth Grade Boys?!?!! Man, what happened to the hot college girls that used to email me? You ladies stop your be-pantied pillowfighting and drop me a line!

{clears screen}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I suppose I could make a cruddy movie for you, John. But wouldn't it be so much satisfying to make a cruddy hygiene movie about you?

{Cut to a blue background. Jazzy music plays. Yellow letters saying "Embarissing Educational Films" fly into frame afterwards the word "presents" appears below them and the "E", "E", and "F" in the title light up. Then we cut to another blue background with yellow letters that say "LESSON 1: SAY 'HI' TO HYGIENE"}

STRONG BAD: Meet John...

{The Text "john" appears and Homestar Runner as John pops up looking all gross looking}

STRONG BAD: John is a cruddy 5th grader. Hi John.

{The Text "hi" appears over the text "john"}

HOMESTAR RUNNER AS JOHN: I'm a latchkey champion!

STRONG BAD: Meet Gene...

{The text "gene" appears. Strong Bad as Gene pops up}

STRONG BAD: Gene is a beacon of light...

{Shows Gene in a lighthouse with the lighthouse shining. The lighthouse grows smaller and enters a stink cloud made by John}

STRONG BAD: Shining through the stink cloud made by John.

{The Text "hi' appears over the text "gene"}

STRONG BAD AS GENE: TGIG y'all. Thank god I'm Gene.

{Cuts to Gene standing or floating next to Coach Z, Pom Pom, Bubs and Strong Mad, all having the same hair as Gene}

STRONG BAD: Gene is popular and doesn't get good grades.

{Shows a refrigerator with a piece paper reading "G-, but sooo charming. Cuts to a closeup of John}

STRONG BAD: John has no friends...

{Shows John sitting in a desk surrounded by two empty desks}

STRONG BAD: And sits in the front row.

{Cuts to John in a light brown box and Gene in a light blue box}

STRONG BAD: What is John missing that Gene has? Besides rich parents.

{Three bags of money drop in front of Gene}

STRONG BAD: That's right, hygiene!

{"HYGIENE" appears. Cuts to a closeup of Gene}

GENE: Hi Gals.

STRONG BAD: Hygiene...

{A dictionary pops up. A note is taped over the meaning of hygiene}

STRONG BAD: Is defined as how willing people are to stand next to you.

{Cuts to a closeup of John's chest and his star is bent}

STRONG BAD: John wears shabby cloth that smell like chocolate milk...

{A chocolate milk with a thermometer in its mouth and squinted eyes pops up}

STRONG BAD: With a stomach virus.

{John blows his nose on his star. He puts it back on. It has bogers on it and slides off. Cuts to Gene with two bags next to him}

STRONG BAD: Gene's mom buys all of his clothes for him, but she is young and hot enough for that to be okay.

{A feminine hand with a ring emerges from the left}

GENE'S MOM: {voice} Mommy's got a grown-up headache, Gene. Why don't you take the boat out for a while.

{Hands Gene the keys. Cuts to a bathroom and John walks in}

STRONG BAD: Every time John wakes up in the morning who forgets to wash his stupid—

{Cuts to more of a closeup of John's face. It get's closer and closer and closer}

STRONG BAD: Dumb, stinking, fat, smelly, stupid, dhu—

{Cuts to a closeup of Gene's face}

STRONG BAD: Every morning, the radiant energy from Gene's face&mdahs;

{Gene puts on two electricity generating wires and shows a light bulb on a pad}

STRONG BAD: Powers a small light bulb.

{The light bulb makes a buzzer noies and lights up. Cuts to a closeup of John's face}

STRONG BAD: John's mouth is an ecological tragrant.

{John opens his mouth. Stink lines come out of it. Some liquid drips from his mouth}

STRONG BAD: And has a nest of South American moths living in it.

{John burps and a moth flies out of it}

JOHN: Now you be back before din-din, Chauncey.

{Cuts to Gene's face. His mouth is shining}

STRONG BAD: Gene's mouth is a national park...

{A Sign pops up showing a smile, two tress and two mountains}

STRONG BAD: And his saliva is sold—

{Gene spits and it forms into a bottle that says "El Gene's Spit" over South America}

STRONG BAD: —in South America as a wonder drug.

{Cuts to John's room. John is sitting on his bed. Their is food scattered all around the room}

STRONG BAD: John's room has food left all over it.

{Scrolls around the room. Cuts back to the middle}

STRONG BAD: And nearby squatters have taken residents have taken residence in a laundry cave.

{Shows The Sad Kids standing in front a pile of laundry carved into a cave. Cuts to Gene's room with a pennet saying "Go Sport" and a wardrobe}

STRONG BAD: Gene's Room has a sixteen car pile-up of race car beds.

{Shows sixteen race car beds stacked on each other. 5 maids and 5 special effects artists appear on top of the pile of race car beds}

STRONG BAD: And a family of 5 maids and 5 special effect artists keep realistically smoldering a burning.

{The pile of race car beds catch on fire}

STRONG BAD: Oh, and they also live in a nearby cave.

{Shows the five maids and five special effects artists standing in front of a cave waving. Cuts to a tube and two jars of cream, powder ,and paste}

STRONG BAD: What can John do to change his hygiene?

{Cuts to John dropping the tube and two jars}

STRONG BAD: Nothing at this point. The damage is probably is already done.

{Shows a pie chart that shows "Your Stink" being the biggest, "Your Stonk" after that, followed by "Hot Mom", "Video Games", and "Cool Headband"}

STRONG BAD: And everyone will remember him as a smelly loser no matter what he does.

{Cuts back to John}

STRONG BAD: He'll probably have to wait and go to an out of state college, where he can reinvent himself.

JOHN: Hooray.

{Cuts to Gene}

STRONG BAD: Gene, on the other hand, better keep up the status quo. {a hand starts poking him} If he slips up the slightest bit, and gets lice {shows his hair with lice jumping up and down}, or has an accident at school, those fifth graders will just descend on him like a ravenous pack of hygiene wolves. And tear him to shreds.

GENE: Hooray...?

STRONG BAD: Bye, Gene!

{Cuts back to the blue background. Jazzy music plays again. Yellow letters saying "Embarissing Educational Films" fly into frame afterwards the word "presents" appears below them and the "E", "E", and "F" in the title light up. Then we cut to another blue background with yellow letters that say "LESSON 2: PANTS PROBLEMS". Cuts back to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Okay John, all done. I hope your friends like my video. And don't worry, in 8 to 9 years you can just hide behind your new identity as a raver, a greaser, or a whatever ancient Egyptian teenagers called themselves. Now get outta here! None of the college hotties'll show up if you're hanging around, Mothmouth.

{New Paper comes down, showing alternating colors below the words "Calibration test". "Click here to email Strong Bad" is nowhere to be seen.}

STRONG BAD: You know, New Paper? You keep sucking just enough to stay interesting.

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on "whatever" to see what Coach Z thinks of Strong Bad's video.
{Coach Z and Strong Bad are in the classroom. Strong Bad stands beside a TV stand. The television reads "Embarrasing Educational Films". Coach Z is sitting on a chair in front of the TV.}
COACH Z: I love it! Where can I get me some of this hygiene?
STRONG BAD: You know, for a guy that lives ten feet from a bunch of showers, you think you'd be a little more familiar.
COACH Z: What showers?
STRONG BAD: Uh, that big tiled room with all the shower heads coming out of the wall?
COACH Z: I thought thems were my dripping broken speakers! I got mad four-inch tweeters, B!
  • At the end, click on "ancient" to see a tribute to Matt and Jackie's recently deceased cat, Mabel.
  • At the end, click on "Mothmouth" to see a Strong Badman comic cover about Moth Mouth.

Fun Facts


  • A calibration test is a test performed on many color printers to help the user adjust the colors it produces, and aid alignment of the heads of ink or toner cartridges.
  • Tweeters are speakers designed to produced high-pitched frequencies.


  • At the end, the paper prints out a Calibration Test. You can still click on the lines to e-mail Strong Bad, however.
  • We have seen Coach Z take a shower before in the second deleted scene of In Search of the Yello Dello.
  • During the video, an artifact has been added in so that the quality looks VHS-grade; this is visible on many of the characters and objects.

Inside References

  • The way Strong Bad pronounces John Katulla's name is a reference to retirement.
  • The cat seen in the Easter egg is Mabel, Matt and Jackie's pet, who was previously seen in website.
  • Homestar/John's room is littered with bowls of crispy puffed-rice cereal, last seen in candy product.
  • Also in Homestar/John's room, there are baskets of fries, and a Melty Shake.
  • Strong Bad's shopping bags are marked Styles Upon Styles.
  • Another mention of pants.
  • Coach Z uses Homestar's TeeBee to watch the film.
  • The bug flying out of Homestar Runner's mouth refers to Bug In Mouth Disease.
  • Gene's grade of G- is a reference to the letter G.
  • "Stonk" was a word originally heard in the Quote of the Week of December 7, 2006.
  • This is another reference to showering.

Real-World References

  • THX is a hi-fidelity sound reproduction system most commonly used in movies. It was developed by Lucasfilm for the Star Wars movies.
  • Homestar's line "I'm a latchkey champion" refers to latchkey kids, a term applied to children that are often left alone in the house.

External Links

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