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Strong Bad helps John with his hygiene video problem with some help from [[Embarrassing Educational Films]].
Strong Bad helps John with his hygiene video problem with some help from [[Embarrassing Educational Films]].
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Strong Mad}}, {{film|Coach Z}}, {{film|Bubs}}, {{film|Pom Pom}}, {{film|The Sad Kids}}, {{film|Strong Badman}} (Easter egg), [[Strong Badman Characters#Moth Mouth|Moth Mouth]] (Easter egg)
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Strong Mad}}, {{film|Coach Z}}, {{film|Bubs}}, {{film|Pom Pom}}, {{film|The Sad Kids}}, {{film|Strong Badman}} (Easter Egg), [[Strong Badman Characters#Moth Mouth|Moth Mouth]] (Easter Egg)
'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[The Classroom]] (Easter egg)
'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[The Classroom]] (Easter egg)
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Meet John!
'''STRONG BAD:''' Meet John!
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''{The text "john" appears and Homestar Runner as John pops up looking very dirty and unkempt}''
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''{The Text "john" appears and Homestar Runner as John pops up looking very dirty and unkempt}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' John is a cruddy 5th grader. Hi, John!
'''STRONG BAD:''' John is a cruddy 5th grader. Hi, John!
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''{The text "hi" appears over the text "john".}''
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''{The Text "hi" appears over the text "john".}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER AS JOHN:''' ''{voice breaking}'' I'm a latchkey champion!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER AS JOHN:''' ''{voice breaking}'' I'm a latchkey champion!
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'''STRONG BAD:''' —shining through the stink cloud generated by John. Hi, Gene!
'''STRONG BAD:''' —shining through the stink cloud generated by John. Hi, Gene!
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''{The text "hi" appears over the text "gene"}''
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''{The Text "hi" appears over the text "gene"}''
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'''STRONG BAD AS GENE:''' TGIG, y'all — Thank God I'm Gene!
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'''STRONG BAD AS GENE:''' TGIG, y'all - Thank God I'm Gene!
''{Cut to Gene standing next to Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, and Pom Pom, who all have the same hairstyle as him.}''
''{Cut to Gene standing next to Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, and Pom Pom, who all have the same hairstyle as him.}''
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*[[Wikipedia:greaser (subculture)|Greasers]] were a subculture that originated in the 1950s and saw a revival in the 1970s. Their distinguishing characteristics were jeans, leather jackets and slicked back hair.
*[[Wikipedia:greaser (subculture)|Greasers]] were a subculture that originated in the 1950s and saw a revival in the 1970s. Their distinguishing characteristics were jeans, leather jackets and slicked back hair.
*Gene was [[Wikipedia:Upturned collar|popping his collar]], a popular trend among the [[Wikipedia:Preppy|preppy]] social classes in the mid-1980s and early 2000s.
*Gene was [[Wikipedia:Upturned collar|popping his collar]], a popular trend among the [[Wikipedia:Preppy|preppy]] social classes in the mid-1980s and early 2000s.
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*John's line "I'm a latchkey champion" refers to [[Wikipedia:Latchkey kid|latchkey kids]], a term applied to children that return from school to an empty house, referring to the latchkey to the door of the house.
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*John's line "I'm a latchkey champion" refers to [[Wikipedia:Latchkey kid|latchkey kids]], a term applied to children that are often left alone in the house.
*TGIG, or "Thank God I'm Gene", comes from the acronym [[Wikipedia:TGIF|TGIF]], or "Thank God It's Friday".
*TGIG, or "Thank God I'm Gene", comes from the acronym [[Wikipedia:TGIF|TGIF]], or "Thank God It's Friday".
*When Gene's mom mentions a "grown-up headache", she is most likely referring to a [[alcohol|hangover]].
*When Gene's mom mentions a "grown-up headache", she is most likely referring to a [[alcohol|hangover]].
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*Most of the time during the hygiene video, Strong Bad as Gene is seen [[Strong Bad Smiling|smiling]], as well as 5th grade [[Strong Mad Smiling|Strong Mad]].
*Most of the time during the hygiene video, Strong Bad as Gene is seen [[Strong Bad Smiling|smiling]], as well as 5th grade [[Strong Mad Smiling|Strong Mad]].
*The summary for the [[Podstar Runner]] RSS feed reads, "Strong Bad and Embarrassing Educational Films present a movie on hygiene for some 5th grader."
*The summary for the [[Podstar Runner]] RSS feed reads, "Strong Bad and Embarrassing Educational Films present a movie on hygiene for some 5th grader."
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*The [[YouTube]] description for this email is "Strong Bad helps John with his hygiene problems by putting him in an embarrassing educational video."
 
===Remarks===
===Remarks===
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===Inside References===
===Inside References===
*The way Strong Bad pronounces John Katulla's name is a reference to [[retirement]].
*The way Strong Bad pronounces John Katulla's name is a reference to [[retirement]].
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*Strong Bad redefines the word hygiene by [[Books Defaced by Strong Bad|writing over the dictionary]].
 
*The cat seen in the Easter egg is Mabel, [[Matt Chapman|Matt]] and [[Jackie Chapman|Jackie]]'s pet, who was previously seen in [[website]].
*The cat seen in the Easter egg is Mabel, [[Matt Chapman|Matt]] and [[Jackie Chapman|Jackie]]'s pet, who was previously seen in [[website]].
*John's room is littered with bowls of crispy puffed-rice cereal, last seen in [[candy product]].
*John's room is littered with bowls of crispy puffed-rice cereal, last seen in [[candy product]].
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**Also in John's room, there are baskets of [[French Fries|fries]] and a [[Minor Drinks#meltshake|Melt Shake]].
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**Also in John's room, there are baskets of [[French Fries|fries]] and a [[Minor Foods#Melt Shake|Melt Shake]].
*Gene's shopping bags are marked [[Styles Upon Styles]].
*Gene's shopping bags are marked [[Styles Upon Styles]].
*Coach Z uses Homestar's [[TeeBee]] to watch the film.
*Coach Z uses Homestar's [[TeeBee]] to watch the film.
*A bug previously took residence in Homestar Runner's mouth in [[Bug In Mouth Disease]].
*A bug previously took residence in Homestar Runner's mouth in [[Bug In Mouth Disease]].
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*Strong Bad refers to John's mouth as being an ecological [[train]]-wreck.
 
*"Stonk" was a word originally heard in the [[Quote of the Week]] of [[Quote of the Week#QW-2006-12-07|December 7, 2006]].
*"Stonk" was a word originally heard in the [[Quote of the Week]] of [[Quote of the Week#QW-2006-12-07|December 7, 2006]].
*John's laundry cave uses the same sweatshirt designs as Homestar's Swe<!--sic, there is a line in that toon about how it looks more like a swe atshirt float.--> atshirt Float from [[Fall Float Parade]].
*John's laundry cave uses the same sweatshirt designs as Homestar's Swe<!--sic, there is a line in that toon about how it looks more like a swe atshirt float.--> atshirt Float from [[Fall Float Parade]].
*Race-car beds were previously mentioned in [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2]] and [[secret identity]].
*Race-car beds were previously mentioned in [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2]] and [[secret identity]].
*Gene's grade of G- is a reference to [[g|the letter G]].
*Gene's grade of G- is a reference to [[g|the letter G]].
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*This contains another mention of [[pants]], [[underwear]], [[peeing]] and [[showering]].
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*This contains another mention of [[pants]], [[underwear]], and [[showering]].
*New Paper performed a calibration test because it was running out of ink, as stated in [[mini-golf]].
*New Paper performed a calibration test because it was running out of ink, as stated in [[mini-golf]].
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*By making a film ''about'' John (rather than ''for'' him) Strong Bad [[Emails Taken in a Different Direction|takes this email in a different direction]].
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*By making a film about John (rather than ''for'' him) Strong Bad [[Emails Taken in a Different Direction|takes this Email in a different direction]].
===Real-World References===
===Real-World References===
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=== Commentary Transcript ===
=== Commentary Transcript ===
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{{transcriptinprogress|Soiled Bargains}}
 +
('''Commentary by:''' [[Matt Chapman]], [[Mike Chapman]])
('''Commentary by:''' [[Matt Chapman]], [[Mike Chapman]])
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'''MATT:''' Mike, do you remember where we wrote much of this email?
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'''MATT:''' Mike, do you remember where we wrote much of this e-mail?
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'''MIKE:''' Uuuhhh... ''{long pause}'' no?
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'''MIKE:''' Uuuhhh... ''{long pause}'' no.
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'''MATT:''' ''{immediately}'' On a plane... Mike! On a plane coming back from, ''San Francisco''!
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'''MATT:''' ''{immediately}'' On a plane... Mike! On a plane coming back from ''San Francisco''!
'''MIKE:''' ''{confused}'' Really?
'''MIKE:''' ''{confused}'' Really?
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'''MATT:''' ''{laughs}'' ''{unintelligible}''
'''MATT:''' ''{laughs}'' ''{unintelligible}''
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'''MIKE:''' ''{interrupting}'' For the past three months, it's been ''zero'', literally, if I unplug it for ''one second'' it's dead. I just ordered a new battery the other day.
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'''MIKE:''' ''{interrupting}'' For the past three months it's been ''zero'', literally, if I unplug it for ''one second'' it's dead&mdash; I just ordered a new battery the other day.
'''MATT:''' ''{somewhat faintly}'' Good job.
'''MATT:''' ''{somewhat faintly}'' Good job.
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'''MIKE:''' Yeah.
'''MIKE:''' Yeah.
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'''MATT:''' But I think that&mdash; I have&mdash; there's a drawing of, uhh, Homestar as... as John. ''{Mike overlaps, saying "Oh" somewhat unemotionally.}'' Umm, with, the like, droopy star, and the, like, looking gross.
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'''MATT:''' But I think that&mdash; I have this drawing of, uhh, Homestar as... as John. ''{Mike overlaps, saying "Oh" somewhat unemotionally.}'' Umm, with, the like, droopy star, and the, like, looking gross.
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'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Right. Oh yeah, 'cause you also drew the, umm, Most Paste, and, uhh, ''{Matt chuckles}'' powders.
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'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Right. Oh yeah, 'cause you also drew the, umm, most paced, and, uhh, ''{Matt chuckles}'' powders.
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'''MATT:''' Haha, yeah. ''{Pause}'' Yeah.
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'''MATT:''' Haha, yeah... yeah.
'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Oh,&mdash; "Oh, Powders!" I think that was a sketchbook of the week, anyway.
'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Oh,&mdash; "Oh, Powders!" I think that was a sketchbook of the week, anyway.
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''{In the email, the view of the refrigerator with Gene's grade on it was replaced with a shot of John.}''
''{In the email, the view of the refrigerator with Gene's grade on it was replaced with a shot of John.}''
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'''MATT:''' Fridgin'-A. I was wond&mdash; ''{Mike laughs, saying "Fridgin'-A!"}'' what brand 'fridge that was. Fridgin'-''A''!
 
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''{Pause. In the email, Gene had just waved to the camera, saying "Hi, gals!"}''
 
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'''MATT:''' That is some good hair that Gene has, Mike.
 
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''{Pause. In the email, Strong Bad finishes reading the taped-over definition of "hygiene". Both chuckle.}''
 
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'''MIKE:''' Sorry, I'm mesmerized...
 
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'''MATT:''' Yeah?
 
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'''MIKE:''' I fell prey to just watching the email ''{Matt starts chuckling; Mike refrains from laughing}'' that I haven't seen in a year.
 
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'''MATT:''' What about... the last time, that, Homestar had a droopy star? It's ''{chuckles, presumably for the at the bags of clothes in the email}'' probably that upside-down menu page! Where he's falling!
 
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'''MIKE:''' Upside-down...? Oh, that's right.
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' It's falling?
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' It's flapping in the wind. Yeah.
 
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'''MATT:''' Did you see that? He bought all of his clothes at "Styles Upon Styles", ''{both chuckle while Matt finishes his sentence}'' Mike.
 
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''{Pause. In the email, Strong Bad as he narrates the film begins throwing insults at John. Cut to Gene's face radiating white lines. One of The Brothers Chaps chuckles. Gene then puts alligator clips on his face.}''
 
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'''MATT:''' Oh, look, he has one of those... ''{chuckles}'' uh, kits... that we used to have in discovery class!
 
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'''MIKE:''' Yeah, have we&mdash; what are those called?
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{hesitantly; holding back laughter}'' Electronic... chemistry sets?
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' I remember them, 'cause they had different sizes. You could get 'em at RadioShack, and some of 'em were pretty small, and it would&mdash; be basically, like, "make a buzzer sound go off", or "light up a light".
 
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'''MATT:''' Right.
 
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'''MIKE:''' But then there was a... you know&mdash; bigger models, that you could, uh, maybe light up ''two'' lights!? ''{Matt begins to laugh}'' And make ''two'' buzzer&mdash; ''{stops himself; laughs}''
 
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''{In the email, Strong Bad as the narrator tours John's room.}''
 
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'''MATT:'''  Uhhh, look, he's got some Melt Shakes. ''{chuckling}'' Nailed to his wall. ''{Mike chuckles; brief pause}'' The Reesy Cup Milkshakes?
 
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'''MIKE:''' And that is, the, uh... sweater shirt&mdash;
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{interrupting}'' Pile of sweatshirts?
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{chuckles}'' ''Swee-at''shirts ''{both refrain from chuckling}'' from the Fall Float Parade.
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping; faintly}'' Yeah. ''{brief pause}'' Uh, I, actually&mdash;
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{interrupting}'' Did you know anybody with a race car bed?
 
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'''MATT:''' Uhh, Ricky Schroder.
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{chuckles after a brief pause}'' Yeah. ''{unintelligible}''
 
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'''MATT:''' Rick Stratton.
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs heavily}''
 
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'''MATT:''' There you go!
 
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''{In the email, the three hygiene-related containers and tube being zoomed in on.}''
 
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'''ALL:''' ''{with impression}'' ''Oh, powders!''
 
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'''MATT:''' Were those, were all&mdash; was I just drawing those or was I drawing those ''for'' this email?
 
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'''MIKE:''' I assume you were drawin' 'em for this email, but I'm not sure... knowin' you!
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{hesitantly}'' Yeah.
 
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''{In the background, a very faint, prolonged, mid-pitched noise is heard. In the email, Strong Bad is discussing on how John must reinvent himself. John has just transformed into Homestar.}''
 
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'''MIKE:''' There was this guy&mdash;
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{interrupting; refraining from chuckling}'' Look, he's got a&mdash; Sh&mdash; Shaggy from Scooby Doo goatee.
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{continuing}'' There was a... um... ''{clicks his tongue, hesitant throughout}'' kid, at Georgia, freshman year, that was so clearly... just like, a... big nerd, in... high school and then got to Georgia and was just, like, ''{in a mocking tone; non-hesitantly}'' "I'm gonna change ''{Matt laughs}'' the person I am!"
 
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'''MATT:''' Do you think he had had an "accident" at school?&mdash;
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{interrupting; clearly holding back laughter}'' He might have, yeah.
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' &mdash;''{unintelligible}'' at school and had to, uh...
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping; still holding back laughter}'' Yeah.
 
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''{In the email, the film is showing title cards with music again.}''
 
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'''MATT:''' Try and live it down?
 
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'''MIKE:''' It was so obvious, &mdash;
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{interrupting; said before the respective title card appears}'' "Lesson 2."
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{slight pause}'' Speaking of living something down! ''{Mike chuckles}'' Pants problems are somethin' that you ''really'' gotta watch out for.
 
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''{Pause.}''
 
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'''MATT:''' Umm... &mdash;
 
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''{Strong Bad mentions one of John's possible alternative identities: "raver"}''
 
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'''MATT:''' &mdash; Ravers&mdash; Mike, what do&mdash; what do, uh, ravers used to be referred to themself a&mdash; err, ''selves'', ''as'', now?
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{bluntly}'' What? ''{begins to say something}''
 
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'''MATT:''' Like, I don't know, just club... kids... ''{Mike begins to say something but is cut off}'' that wear the big elephant pants that have lots of straps and buttons on 'em?
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{beings to speak after Matt says "elephant pants"}'' Do they still exist? ''{brief pause}'' Is that what you're asking?
 
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'''MATT:''' Yeah, and what do they call themselves?
 
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''{Mike takes a breath. In the email, Strong Bad is talking to the New Paper.}''
 
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'''MATT:''' Hurry!
 
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'''MIKE:''' ''{brief pause}'' Ummm... raviers.
 
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'''MATT:''' ''{faintly}'' Nice.
 
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==== Fun Facts ====
 
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*Matt references [[Main Page 8]].
 
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*Matt references the Reesy Cup milkshake from [[dangeresque 3]].
 
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*Matt refers to the character Shaggy from [[Scooby Doo]].
 
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{{sectionstub}}
 
==External Links==
==External Links==

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