hremail3184

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Hremail #3184
watch Hremail 7 Hremail 24
Strong Bad Email #201
email thunder imaginary
"Now that... is what I call...a...comeback!"

Strong Bad has finally come out of e-tirement with a new sbemail... with explosive end-results.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Marzipan, Female Lappy 486, Senor Cardgage, Strong Sad, Coach Z, Strong Mad, Bubs, The Announcer (easter egg)

Places (in order of appearance): The Hremail Room, Computer Room, The Show, Marzipan's House, Bathroom of The Brothers Strong, Athletic Field, Carnival Tent, The Field

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Tuesday, June 29, 2009

Running Time: 5:04

Page Title: Lappy 486

Contents

Transcript

{Homestar is sitting at his hremail desk. He has bags under his eyes and is slouching. He slips further and further down over the next line.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {half-mumbling} And that, Gordon Titanamonderous, is why I decided to keep calling you Gordon Titanamonderous...

STRONG BAD: {from off-screen} Aaah! I can't take this no more!

{Cut to Strong Bad, screaming.}

STRONG BAD: Somebody hand me a rake!

{A rake is handed to Strong Bad. He grabs it and smacks Homestar with it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Raaaake!

STRONG BAD: {dropping the rake} Somebody hand me a shovel!

{A shovel is handed to him. He smacks Homestar with it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Shovel!

STRONG BAD: {dropping the shovel} Somebody hand me a Garden Weasel!

{A tool with a very spiky end is handed to Strong Bad. Again, he hits Homestar. Homestar comes back up with a "CENSORED" sign over his face; bruises and a stream of blood can be seen around it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {calmly} Aw, a Weasel.

STRONG BAD: {wiping his brow} Phew.

{Pan over to show Marzipan, holding the rake and shovel.}

STRONG BAD: Thanks, Marzipan!

MARZIPAN: Always happy to help!

{Cut to the Lappy. Strong Bad sits down in front of it.}

STRONG BAD: Sorry, Lappy. My triumphant return to checking emails calls for some fresh blood!

{He closes the Lappy, leaving a faint backwards "Lappy 486" in the wall behind it. He pushes it off to the side.}

STRONG BAD: Tech nerds, feast your eyes... on Steak Sandwich!

{He places said sandwich on the desk in front of him to a trumpet fanfare. Cut to a solo image of the sandwich.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The Steaky Steaky 6 Millenium Edition {a steak-shaped logo for this appears in the corner} is a processing wonder horse, capable of sauteed onions, {a logo for "Sauteed Onions Ghz" appears} grilled mushrooms, {a logo for "Grilled Mushrooms 32x" appears} and all right, never mind.

{The Steak logo swivels as though its left side was no longer supported while the other logos fall off the screen.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} This is just a steak sandwich, isn't it?

{Cut to a rear view of the desk, as Strong Bad looks at the sandwich.}

STRONG BAD: You know, I guess I'm a little... out-of-practice with this stuff. {to the Lappy} All right, Lappy, you can stay alive for at least one more week.

{He pushes the sandwich aside and returns the Lappy to its rightful position. He opens the Lappy and a startup tone is heard. Cut to behind Strong Bad. The Female Lappy is visible.}

FEMALE LAPPY 486: Another week with you, Strong Bad, is like 8 dog-weeks in cat-years.

STRONG BAD: Uh, are you sure you're not Senor Cardgage's computer?

SENOR CARDGAGE: {from offscreen} No...

{Cut back to show Senor Cardgage standing near Strong Bad, holding the sandwich.}

SENOR CARDGAGE: This steak samwich is Beverly clearly my compooter, Beth-shiba.

STRONG BAD: {smiling} Hey, Cardgage! D'you wanna help me come out of e-tirement?

SENOR CARDGAGE: Ummmmm... no.

{Strong Bad lowers his head in disappointment. Senor Cardgage turns around and starts walking in place, while sounds of traffic are heard. Strong Bad looks up in confusion, and starts to nervously lean back.}

STRONG BAD: I'm quite scared right now.

{Cut to the Lappy as Strong Bad turns back to it.}

STRONG BAD: Let's start over. {types "strongbad_email.exe"} Oh, man, I haven't checked my email in so long, I bet there's gonna be a half-zillion messages waiting for me!

{He presses Return. The following comes up with a ding: "Oh, smokes! You have 2 new messages!", which are "Coolness" from "Kelly" and "Thanks for loaning me your rake" from "Homestar".}

STRONG BAD: Oh. Well, a half-four messages waiting for me isn't bad. {He brings up "Coolness".}

{Strong Bad echos his own name. He says Kelly's name in a slightly seductive tone, leading into "USA" as "Oosa".}

STRONG BAD: Mmmm! An exotic lady from the far east! {typing} That's kind of a vague question don'tcha think? That's like me asking, "Dear Kelly, what's your favorite molecule of air that you've breathed?" {not typed} Or... {clears screen, typing:} "What's your favorite Strong Bad muscle that you wanted to rub with hot oils?" You gotta narrow it down somehow. Like, do you wanna know about the coolest looking explosion I ever rigged up in Strong Sad's org-ethnic breakfast pouch on a Tuesday?

{Cut to the kitchen of the Brothers Strong. Strong Bad is eating from a cereal bowl with a spoon. Strong Sad is standing next to him, wearing a tuxedo, and looking expectantly at a toaster.}

STRONG BAD: {poorly acting} Mmm. This cereal is sooooo cerealy.

{The toaster pops up a breakfast pastry with a conspicuous red light on it. Strong Sad catches it. Over the next line, the light begins to blink faster and faster while making ticking noises.}

STRONG SAD: Oh, child! I am gonna enjoy this saag paneer "Pop-Tart with a Vengeance"! Then I've got to go stand around in this tuxedo with a ven— OOOHHH!!

{The Pop-Tart explodes into green goo, which gets all over Strong Sad and leaves a green stain on the wall behind him.}

STRONG BAD: Waa-ha-ha-ha!

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Or do you wanna know like, the coolest explosion I ever saw that had one of those blast-wavy Saturn rings around it that've become so popular lately.

{Cut to Strong Bad in his bathroom, holding a newspaper.}

STRONG BAD: 'Cuz I've caused plenty of those.

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} But the coolest part was actually later on, when I was telling Coach Z all about it.

{Cut to the Athletic Field. Strong Bad is talking to Coach Z.}

STRONG BAD: And so first, there was this little explosion, that was like "Doooooosh!" {some drops of spit fly away from him toward Coach Z}

COACH Z: Ya don't say?

STRONG BAD: And then secondary charges blew and it was like, "Ka-plssshhhhh!" {more drops of spit fly toward Coach Z}

COACH Z: You say?

STRONG BAD: And finally one of those blast-wavy Saturn rings that've become so popular lately shot out, and was like "PSSSSSSHHHHH!!!!"

{Strong Bad draws out the explosion. A wave of spit drops fly toward Coach Z. Coach Z pulls out a bar of soap and a bottle of "PORT PLUS +". He rubs the soap on his body and dumps some shampoo over his hat. He then tosses the bottle away and rubs his hat, which becomes sudsy.}

COACH Z: Thanks for the great story, Strong Bad! I was gonna hit the showers, but now I don't has to!

{Strong Bad spits a few more drops toward Coach Z. Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Everybody knows that the more spit it takes to describe an explosion, the cooler said explosion was. And the cooler said explosion-talker-abouter is!

{Cut to Strong Sad talking to Coach Z in the Athletic Field.}

STRONG SAD: And then my saag paneer Pop-Tart said it like... "Ptoo."

{A single large drop of spit flies toward Coach Z.}

COACH Z: {angrily} Are you kiddin' me? I can't even warsh my hands with that mess!

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} But if history has taught us anything, then we all know that the coolest explosions have come from my very own computers.

{A quick montage results where the Tandy explodes, throwing Strong Bad back, Strong Bad knocks the Tandy off the desk with an inexplicable explosion, Bub's shotgun blows a hole in the Compy, Strong Mad gulps from a mini-explosion from the Compy, and the Tandy explodes in a green pixelated mushroom cloud with Homestar nearby. Cut back to the Lappy, with the female Lappy visible.}

FEMALE LAPPY 486: But waimt, Strong Bad, does that means?

STRONG BAD: I'm afraid so, sweet Lappy. I figured that USB self-destruct button I bought a couple weeks ago woulda clued you in.

{Cut to a closeup of a big red button with "dooj" written on it, connected to the Lappy via USB. Then cut to a rear view of the desk.}

STRONG BAD: But... it's time. {Cut to behind Strong Bad} Why wait around for someone else to blow up your computer tomorrow when you can blow it up yourself today?

FEMALE LAPPY 486: You should put that on your bwees-ness cards.

STRONG BAD: {mock-sadly} That's a great idea, Lappy. {cut to rear view of the desk} Good bye. {presses the button} Dooj.

{Cut to a silhouette of the house with a tree beside it. The explosion knocks the tree away and blows the roof clear of the house. Two of those shockwaves appear as part of the explosion. A ghostly image of the Female Lappy icon with fangs appears in the explosion.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So popular lately.

{Cut to Bubs and Coach Z on lawn chairs, watching the explosion.}

COACH Z: Oooooor! Awwwwwr!
BUBS: Ooooooh! Awwwwww!

COACH Z: I can't wait till Strong Bad tells me 'bout that one. I'm'a go ahead and strip down to da nude!

BUBS: {pointing at Coach Z} Ponk!

{Cut to Strong Bad, standing next to the desk. Strong Bad himself is unharmed, but the desk it broken in two from the explosion, and the paint has been torn away.}

STRONG BAD: And now that—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {poking in from the side} Don't call it a comeback.

STRONG BAD: —is what I call—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Don't call it a comeback.

STRONG BAD: —a—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {disappears off the side and reappears upside-down} Don't call it a comeback.

STRONG BAD: {jumping forward on his knee} —comeback!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {disappears and reappears rightside-up, makes an annoyed sigh}

{Homestar disappears while Strong Bad looks upward.}

STRONG BAD: Uh, if a paper survived that, maybe come down... now?

{Black ashes fall from the top of the screen. Strong Bad looks down at them.}

STRONG BAD: Oh. Looks like I need a new one of those, too.

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on the hole in the wall to see an exchange between Strong Sad as the Gardenboy from yes, wrestling and The Announcer.
  • When the Lappy tells Strong Bad to put his catch phrase about computer destruction on his "bwees-ness" cards, click "bwees-ness card" to see a business card for a computer destruction business.

Fun Facts

Remarks

  • Strong Bad knocks the broken Tandy 400 off his desk to an explosion. There was no such explosion in invisibility.
  • In virus, the virus caused everything to become corrupted. As part of the corruption, Bubs' shotgun resembled Homestar's leg. However, in the flashback, the shotgun is clearly still a shotgun even before the Compy 386 is shot.

Inside References

  • Dooj, As the USB Self-destruct button reads, Is a common sound effect used for explosions in the Homestar Runner Universe.
  • The scene of Bubs and Coach Z in the field is reminiscent of Happy Fireworks, in which the two watched fireworks in a similar fashion.
  • The Easter Egg the end of the toon is a reference to the email yes, wrestling, in which Strong Sad takes on the wrestling persona of the Gardenboy.
  • The entire toon is about explosions.
  • Strong Bad smiles when Senor Cardgage first shows up in his house.
  • Although it is censored, you can still see that Homestar Runner bleeds after being hit with the third garden tool by Strong Bad.
  • The scene in which Strong Bad introduces his "new computer" is a reference to how he introduced the Lappy 486 in the email animal.
  • Coach Z's use of Port Plus is a reference to Jibblies 2, where he asked the Horrible Painting for some.

Real-World References

  • Senor Cardgage's "Beverly clearly" is a reference to children's author Beverly Cleary.
  • Strong Bad's "Dooj" button resembles the "Easy" button from commercials for Staples, an office supply chain.

External Links

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