english paper

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Strong Bad Email #64

"The Yellow Dart" asks Strong Bad to write his englilsh paper for him.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner


STRONG BAD: Come on guys! Get your heads in the game.


Dear Strong Bad, {stops reading} Ahh. Never get tired of how that sounds. {continues} Right now I am putting off writing a paper for my English class. Can you write my Englilsh paper for me? I don't even care if it's good or not, I just don't want to do it.

Kyle Smith, Manhattan, Kansas

Umm... {typing} I don't really think you need to worry about it being any good if YOU write it, Kyle. But I'll take a crack at it.

{Cut to a blank sheet of paper. As Strong Bad details more about the paper, it appears onscreen.}

So let's start out with the title page. "A Well Thought-Out Englilsh Paper" by Kyle Smith. You know, it couldn't hurt to soup up your name a little bit, Kyle. Y'know, like throw a cool nickname in there, like Kyle "The Yellow Dart" Smith. Oh yeah! That right there will get you five to ten extra credit points easy. Then you move into the introduction. {Strong Bad starts typing the essay} Chances are, this is all your teacher's gonna read before they give you a grade, so...that's why the cool nickname is so important. "The Yellow Dart." I'm awesome. Then you got the body, which is-a my personal favorite...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Strong Bad! I'm inside your house.

STRONG BAD: {while typing the essay} Oh. That sucks. What can I do for ya?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Can I have the rest of this breakfast burrito?

STRONG BAD: I guess. What do you want it for?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Umm... I'm gonna try and sell it at some type of online auction.

STRONG BAD: Hey, do whatcha gotta do. Look, I'm busy writing a paper for my man "The Yellow Dart" over here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay bye! {runs off}

STRONG BAD: Uh, you won't get more than 3.50 for it! Believe me, I've tried. Okay, so I think we're just about done. We just need to apply a little double-space action...or, uh...maybe a little triple-space action...then I'd beef it up with some random diagrams...that can't hurt. {the diagram is a comparison of eating one battery to eating five batteries} I think it's pretty good as-is, but, uh...couldn't hurt to throw a little cash in there to uh...seal the deal. {typing} Alright The Yellow Dart, you owe me, man. Can't nobody say Strong Bad never did nothing for the peoples. Now it is my intention to sit down and play video games for several hours.

{Strong Bad gets up, The Paper comes down, and the essay appears onscreen}

Easter Eggs

  • At the end of it, flip to the page after the title page and click on the words "the cheat's allowance" to see the online auction for the breakfast burrito!
  • Keep flipping through the paper and after it flips back to the front you'll be able to download the paper in Word format.

Fun Facts

  • Originally, the cash was photocopied cash. However, someone didn't think this was a very good idea, and the Chaps scrapped it.
  • Kyle "The Yellow Dart" Smith reported via another forum that he actually did submit Strong Bad's englilsh paper along with his own real one.

The Paper

Since maybe like the middle ages, there have been many differing opinions on hustle and bustle. This cannot be denied. It is my intention to sit down and play video games for several hours.

First, moving around quickly, and with purpose, is a true sign of character. Secondarily, bustle(e.g. hustle) yields more product for the working types. "Hustle and bustle are like my right and left arms," said Li'l Spicy in his famous "Hustle and Bustle Are Like My Right and Left Arms" speech. Webster's defines bustle as "excited and often noisy activity; a stir." A stir, indeed. Finally, sometimes gross stuff can be funny.

In conclusion, I, "The Yellow Dart," think I have done a great job illustrating the many differing opinions about hustle and bustle, may they both rest in peace. Also, I think Strong Bad should decrease The Cheat's allowance.

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