dreamail
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad Email #122
Strong Bad describes for us what his perfect email would be like. The pink border doesn't cut it.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Female Lappy 486, The Cheat, Homestar Runner
Places: Computer Room
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: January 10, 2005
Running Time: 3:55
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} Oh oh, email's in the backyard, makin' some stew...
subject: Perfect emailHey StrongBad
With lots of anticipation,
I was just wondering: what do you look for in an email?
Another words, describe that dream email that you would like
to recieve one day.
Danny Gedgafov from Glenview, IL
{Strong Bad says "Oh, look! And there's some another words!" after "Another words," and he has difficulty reading Danny's name, resulting in the following}
STRONG BAD: Danny Geh-geh-geh... gih-gih-gih... Ge-ka-koff...from Gliggityfoo, Illinois. {he pronounces the S of Illinois} {typing} My dream email. My "dreamail." {clears screen, resumes typing} Well plain ol' Danny, there are a lot of email-fish out there in the Email Sea. And while most of them are those nasty bottom-feeders with the suckhole mouth, there are a few that break the glimmering surface of the water, to glisten in the sunset for a few fleeting moments like some kind of glorious e-marlin. Another words, please allow me to ditch the fishing metaphor and hit you with the pink border.
{A pink border appears around the edge of the screen, causing the center to turn white. The whiteness fades into Strong Bad at the Lappy, which now has a golden chain license-plate cover around its screen reading "MY LAPPY ATE YOUR DOG" at the top}
STRONG BAD: OK orchestra, hit it! {The orchestra starts up, and Strong Bad sings in an operatic style} Email me tonight!
{The orchestra hits its last two notes, and the Lappy booting sequence begins. However, the Lappy emblem now looks female with blonde hair, and speaks to Strong Bad with corresponding text appearing below it}
FEMALE LAPPY 486: Good morning, Strong Bad. You're looking prooty hot. You have one unread messages.
STRONG BAD: Why thank you, Lappy. You're looking prooty hot too. Onscreen!
{Strong Bad clears the bootup screen, and reads the new email}
subject: French countrysideDear Mssr. Eleganté,
-128 Hot Katies
You left your pocketwatch in the hot tub. When will you be back to retrieve it?
STRONG BAD: {typing} My Katies 1-128,
Good to hear from all y'all (especially you, Katie 80). When my raucous schedule {pronounced as "shedule"} permits, I will triumphantly/abundantly {pronounced as triunphantly slash abundantly} return to the chateau for my ruby-encrusted pocketwatch. I have plans tonight, however, but I will, furthermore, heretofore, be back on morrow next. Please tell Adelaide that the poached eggs were tremendous.
Forever Young,
Chester Eleganté {Strong Bad hits enter, and the female Lappy icon appears back onscreen as the email disappears}
FEMALE LAPPY 486: Well played, Strong Bad. Those ladies are sure to be all up ons.
{The pink border and such fades away as we cut back to the normal world}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Oh, man. If I got that email, I would have it bronzed and then dipped in...uh guacamole and The Cheat would read it to me every night at supper.
{The scene cuts back to the pink border dreamworld, this time at a banquet table (made out of a door) with large windows in the background, a covered serving tray and a golden chalice (or maybe just a doorknob). Strong Bad rolls forward in a plush chair with fork in hand to where the serving tray is. The Cheat's arm improbably stretches out from the right side of the screen and lifts the cover}
STRONG BAD: Ooh! Cadbury Cream Egg omelette! {calling offscreen} Continue, The Cheat.
{The camera pans to the other end of the table, where The Cheat is sitting in a similar chair, holding a bronze plaque with guacamole all over it. The Cheat starts to read it, then growls, rubs part of the front of the plaque, and continues. The camera pans back to Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: {interrupting} Oh I love that part! Read it again, slowly, and... backwards.
{The camera pans back to The Cheat, who starts to read backwards. Homestar Runner walks on-camera from the left side of the screen}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {while The Cheat is still reading} The Cheat! What's been up?
{The camera pans back to Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: Hey!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, Strong Bad, found your pocketwatch. {Homestar tosses a ruby-encrusted pocketwatch in Strong Bad's omelette} Katie 80 said "What's up?" {camera pans back to The Cheat} So, The Cheat, what's been up?
{The camera cuts to Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: CRAP THE WHAT?! {Strong Bad bangs on the table with his fists} This pink border is NOT{Bangs on table with his fists} holding up its end of the bargain! {Bangs on table with fists} Come on, pink border, {bangs on table one last time as he gets up frantically} get your head in the game!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Pink border?
{The scene cuts back to the real world, where Homestar is standing to the right of Strong Bad at his computer desk}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad, what are you talking aboot?
STRONG BAD: {looks around for a moment} Oh, we're back here.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. I found your pocket lint. {puts some pocket lint on the desk} And Marzipan says you're an ogre.
{The camera focuses back on Strong Bad and the Lappy}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Awww! I knew I should've went with a puffy white cloud border. Those things never let you down. Homestar never woulda shown up in a Puffy White Cloud Dreamail.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I do hate white clowns.
{A center wipe suddenly happens with white clouds forming the border. Strong Bad's computer desk is now apparently in a submarine, with the text "NUCLEAR CLASS SUBMARINE 'SOCCERMOM'" painted on the inside of its hull. As Strong Bad types, some creature with a huge eye looks in through a nearby porthole, and the pinging of a sonar can be heard in the background}
STRONG BAD: {typing} And if you ignore all the facts and scientific evidence, then those weird little kids were right. Thanks for your question, Leonard Nimoy. I'll be back next week to solve another Celebrity Murder Mystery. {stops typing and stands up, addressing the camera} But right now, I gotta fly.
{Strong Bad strikes a pose, and strings suddenly appear attached to him. Strong Bad makes various noises as he is lifted away to the upper right corner of the screen, where he gets stuck. The Paper, which now seems to be modeled after the U.S. Constitution, comes down with the Strong Bad email link looking like it's been written on it in marker}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "e-marlin" to cause an ASCII marlin to jump from the bottom of the screen.
- Click on the graffiti on Strong Bad's dream table to see a zoomed-in view of it. It reads, "Ooh dang, Strongbad! You go child!" and is signed "Jackeé".
- Click on the Lappy's screen at the end of the email to hear additional dialogue from the female Lappy.
Easter Egg Transcript
{The Female Lappy appears back on-screen}
FEMALE LAPPY 486: Don't fly, Strong Bad. Please come down. I worry about you. I can see the strings.
Fun Facts
Explanations
- "You have one unread messages." is a reference to poorly-written computer programs that do not special case the number one. A better program would have had the Female Lappy 486 saying, "You have one unread message."
- The misspelling of "prooty" when Lappy 486 says "pretty" is a reference to old speech synthesizers like Software Automated Mouth that forced the user to use phonetic spelling to make the words come out right.
Trivia
- Unlike most other emails, the end screen does not have any sort of "back" button.
Remarks
- At the end of this email, The Paper seems to have been replaced by the U.S. Constitution. One can assume that this is Strong Bad's 'Dream Paper'.
- Strong Bad finally spells "y'all" correctly.
- Homestar says the word "about" using the stereotypical Canadian pronunciation "aboot."
- Strong Bad's pronounciation of "schedule" is the British or Canadian pronunciation of the word.
- When Strong Bad gets up, the customary "get up noise" does not occur.
- This is one of the few emails when we see Strong Bad actually "typing". One of the other times we see this is in dullard, but Strong Bad's style of typing has changed since then.
- Despite all the hype Strong Bad makes about correct grammar and punctuation, he fails to realize or acknowledge that Danny has spelled the word 'receive' wrong in his email.
Goofs
- The official French abbreviation for "Monsieur" is "M.", but it is misspelled as "Mssr." in the "French Countryside" dream e-mail. This may be based on the abbreviation "Messrs." or "Mssrs.", standing for Messieurs, the plural of Monsieur. The spelling also resembles the way French actually pronounce "Monsieur", which Strong Bad imitates.
Inside References
- The phrase "all up ons" is from the email suntan.
- The Celebrity Murder Mystery is very similar to a comment made by Homsar in suntan.
- When the female Lappy says she can see the strings, this is similar to an easter egg in lunch special when Homestar says this about Bubs levitating.
- The strings pulling up Strong Bad may be a reference to a similar flight made by Homestar in A Decemberween Pageant.
Real-World References
- Strong Bad's dreamail dinner table is made from the front door from the show "227" and is signed by actress Jackée Harry who played Sandra Clark on the late 80's sitcom.
- Strong Bad has two Cadbury's Creme Eggs on his plate. These are chocolate Easter eggs with "cream" (which is pretty much frosting) inside. They're sold around Easter in the US, Canada and the UK, but are available year-round in Australia.
- The Female Lappy 486 is a reference to the 1968 Kubrick classic, 2001: A Space Odyssey and the HAL 9000 computer's famously dry, "Good morning, Dave."
- The pink border is a reference to shows like Saved by the Bell, which used the same border for its dream sequences.
- The sign-off "Forever young" also appeared in an easter egg in personal favorites. It could be a reference to one of two songs of the same name: a Bob Dylan song from 1973 that became a hit for Rod Stewart in the 80s, or a (different) song by the 80s synth-pop group Alphaville.
- The email at the end is a reference to the mid-70's TV series "In Search of...", hosted by Leonard Nimoy, a show that dealt with "investigating" the paranormal and unsolved mysteries in usually sensationalistic ways. Strong Bad's line "And if you ignore all the facts and scientific evidence" reveals this, since this is how most "sensationalism" is achieved. Or it could be loosely referring to Treknobabble, a gimmick used on Star Trek to conveniently explain scientific happenings with terms that, while they sound impressive, are scientifically questionable.
- When Strong Bad says "On screen!" it is a reference to innumerable Star Trek episodes in which the captain gives the same command.
