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Chun King! Chun King!

Strong Bad Email #81

Somebody asks Strong Bad what a date with Homestar and Marzipan is like. The chilling result gives everyone the jibblies.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Strong Mad (offscreen), Strong Sad, The Cheat

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Marshmallow's Last Stand, Strong Sad's Room, Strongbadia

Computer: Compy 386

Date: August 18, 2003

Running Time: 3:11

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {mimicking typing noises as he types "strongbad_email.exe"} Dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dib! {hits enter} Tick.

{reads}

{Strong Bad says "Dyn-o-MITE!" for the addressee's name, and says "And the state Boston's in." for MA.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} You know I've done a lotta thinking on the subject. And yes, Boston, you guessed it, it gimme the jibblies. So in order to watch from a proper, safe distance I made up the...

{Strong Bad brings up the a> prompt and types run hsramerdsxr.exe as he keeps talking}

STRONG BAD: ...Homestar Runner and Marzipan Extra Real Dating Sim XR! {the game's title screen appears} Using the most state-of-the-art polygoniest technologies, we can see what an actual date with Marzipan and Homestar Runner would be like without the risk of personal injury. Or vomiting. I think it would go a little something...a-like-a-dis-a.

{Strong Bad dismisses the title screen, and the camera switches to the Compy's monitor. 3D, polygon-heavy images of Marzipan and Homestar Runner stand on the screen with a pixelated backdrop of the standard grassy field. Below the scene, there are words for each character: Duh!, Buh!, Fuh!, and ???. As Strong Bad clicks on the words, the character gains a quote bubble with the appropriate word:}

MARZIPAN: {on screen} DUH!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: FUH! DUH! DUH!

MARZIPAN: BUH! DUH! FUH! Strong Bad is on point!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: FUH!

{Strong Bad exits the program.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So that gives you a pretty good idea of the lurking horrors. But to really experience it firsthand we'd need to, like, get the Cheat to hide some kinda hidden camera, you know, in, maybe, that marshmallow place they always go to. So, we did. Let's check it out!

{Cut to a TV labeled "Strong Bad's New Secret Security Camera Monitor." It turns on, and we see a low-quality black and white feed of Homestar Runner and Marzipan sitting at a table. In the background the front door is visible, it has the text "Marshmallow's Last Stand" on it. Marzipan is frowning.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {on screen} Okay, okay, okay! Let's play again! What do you think I'll say next? Sid Hoffman, or Sid Frenchman?

MARZIPAN: This is the dumbest game I've ever played.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, c'mon! You're just being sore because you're losin'.

MARZIPAN: Okay, I'll go with Sid Hoffman.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sid Hoffffff...frenchman! Sorry! You lose again. I said Sid Frenchman.

MARZIPAN: Homestar, you said Sid Hoffrenchman. That was not even a choice.

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Oh, jeez. I don't think I can handle much more of this. Let's see what else we got on the tube.

{Strong Bad changes the channel to CAM 2. Strong Sad appears on the screen. As he talks, the camera zooms in and smashes him in the face as Strong Mad grunts offscreen. Strong Sad gains lumps on his forehead throughout the ordeal.}

STRONG SAD: {punched} Ow! {punched} Please! {punched} Quit! {punched} Punching! {punched twice} Me-in-the-face! {punched five times} Since when did you start wearing a class ring?

STRONG BAD: Oh, beautiful!

STRONG SAD: With a camera in it?

STRONG BAD: Nice work, big bro!

{Strong Bad changes to CAM 3, a view of Strongbadia.}

STRONG BAD: Everything seems to be in order in Strongbadi—

{The Cheat walks into the sight of the camera. He looks around.}

STRONG BAD: Oh! Perfect timing. Check out my security counter-measures.

{The Cheat touches the Tire and is instantly electrocuted.}

THE CHEAT: {screams in Cheat-speak} MAAAAHHH!

{A cardboard cut-out of a bear holding a shark springs up.}

THE CHEAT: {screams louder, runs away} MAH!

STRONG BAD: Muwahaha! Look at the little guy run! The Cheat totally freaks out whenever he sees a bear holding a shark.

{STRONG BAD switches back to CAM 1. Homestar is now kicking Marzipan in the shins.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Marzipan, can you feel that?

MARZIPAN: Yeahh...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What is that?

MARZIPAN: Well, you're kicking me in the shins.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I think I'd remember something like that.

{Homestar continues kicking Marzipan as Strong Bad talks.}

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. {waves at the screen} We also switched Homestar Runner's gourmet coffee with Super Mud!

{Homestar takes a quick sip of his "coffee" and immediately spits it all into Marzipan's face, while still kicking her in the shins.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa-ho-ho! That's great!

{View returns to the Compy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Marzipan's gotta face fulla super mud and I'm feelin' fine. The paper, would you bring this fine email to a close?

{The Paper comes down.}

STRONG BAD: {still typing} I gotta go reset that bear-shark. You guys can play that game if you want.

{Strong Bad types "a> run hsramerdsxr.exe" and leaves.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on the words "Lurking Horrors" to see a pulsating "Lurking Horrors" logo.
  • At the end, Click on "Marzipan's" to see more of what goes on during a Homestar and Marzipan date.
{Cut to the camera footage of Marshmallow's Last Stand.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun king! Chun king!
MARZIPAN: Homestar...
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun king! Chun king!
MARZIPAN: Homestar, what are you doing?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun king! Chun king! Chun king! Chun king! Chun king!
MARZIPAN: {simultaneously} Stop it. You're getting on my nerves.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm trying to order the chun king.
  • Click on the words "Super Mud" to see a can of it.
  • Click on the words "That Game" to play Homestar's "Sid" game. (Yes, you can guess right.)
  • Click on "hsramerdsxr.exe" to play Strong Bad's Homestar Runner and Marzipan Dating Simulation XR game.

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • Sid Hoffman and Sid Frenchman came from when The Brothers Chaps were kids, and they were doing a play/game with their friend. The friend kept changing his character's name from Sid Hoffman to Sid Frenchman.
  • Mike Chapman provides the characters' voices in the dating simulation, making them sound very much like their Powered by The Cheat versions.

Remarks

  • The Compy 386 seems to have a mouse in this e-mail, though we still never see it.
  • This is also the first time that we see a mouse on the Compy 386.
  • The Cheat touches the tire and gets a shock but the tire is made of rubber and rubber doesn't conduct electricity

Goofs

  • The table appears to be levitating, as there is no leg in the middle holding it up. You might think that Marzipan's dress is concealing it, but when Homestar kicks Marzipan in the shins her dress moves to the right just enough to show that there is no leg.
  • The kicking sound constantly plays during that part, even sometimes when Homestar is not kicking Marzipan.

Glitches

  • You can cheat on the Sid game by clicking the other answer before Homestar says it completely.
  • When Marzipan blinks on the closed-circut TV, her eyelids revert to their regular color.
  • It used to be that if you get 20 points from the Sid game, it shows you a prize. The "prize" was an image of Strong Bad on his computer with an "M" on it. It was obviously a glitch, and it has since been fixed, where you just keep playing the game, with no prize or anything.

Inside References

  • The Cheat touching the Tire may be a reference to the email "i rule."
  • "Jibblies" is a reference to the e-mail your friends.
  • The noise in the lurking horrors Easter egg is the same as the secret eating banner in Meet Marshie.

Real-World References

  • The bear holding the shark is possibly a reference to the book, Bear v. Shark, by Chris Bachelder. In it there is a discussion of a bear throwing a shark.
  • Strong Bad's delivery of the word "Dynomite" is a reference to the popular catchphrase from the '70s TV series Good Times.
  • Homestar's coffee being replaced is a reference to old Folger's Crystals commercials, where they would secretly replace a restaurant diner's coffee with Folger's, and see if he could tell the difference.

DVD Version

  • To access the Lurking Horrors and Super Mud Easter eggs, use the angle button on your DVD remote.
  • The Dating Sim XR game is disabled for obvious reasons.
  • The Sid Hoffman/Sid Frenchman Easter egg is still accessible, though it is now a video clip instead of an interactive game.
  • The DVD version features hidden audio commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Marzipan, Matt Chapman)

MIKE: Here we are again in... commentary with Marzipan— by Marzipan.

MARZIPAN: Yeah, thanks for inviting me, Mike and Matt.

MIKE: No problem. {laughs}

MARZIPAN: Well, I guess—I know you haven't asked yet, but in my opinion... I think that this Dynomite person... I think it's really none of his business.

MIKE: Oh, what goes on on a date?

MARZIPAN: Yeah.

MIKE: Yeah, it's between you and Homestar.

MARZIPAN: I agree, but don't forget, we're acting, you know, Homestar's not really my boyfriend.

MIKE: {amused} Really? He just plays your boyfriend on Strong Bad Emails?

MATT: He doesn't do a very good job of playing your boyfriend.

MARZIPAN: Mm, that's true, but I— I have several other boyfriends.

MATT: Really?

MARZIPAN: Yes, but let— I— {becomes quiet} I don't want to discuss that subject.

MATT: Have you ever played this game that Strong Bad made of you guys?

MARZIPAN: I did play it a couple of times.

MIKE: {indiscernible}

MATT: {simultaneously} That’s pretty good, there. That 3D Marzipan, that’s pretty advanced.

MIKE: Your voice is pretty good, too.

MARZIPAN: Yeah, uh— again, I’m impressed with the costume design.

MIKE: {laughs} You know, that’s me doing the voice, Marzipan, for that game.

MATT: Yeah. That’s Mike—

MARZIPAN: I was wondering, yeah.

MATT: {simultaneously} —doing your voice.

MIKE: It sounded just like you, though.

MARZIPAN: Well, I— Mike, I— I don’t think you’re very good at impersonating me.

MIKE: {laughs} I’m great at impersonating all the characters.

MARZIPAN: Mike, don’t— please don’t touch me.

MIKE: {laughs} Marzipan. {laughs} Do you and Homestar play this game a lot?

MARZIPAN: We don’t. In— a little bit later here... I had asked for a stunt... woman to be brought in.

MIKE: {laughs} Oh, when he’s kicking you, you mean?

MARZIPAN: Yeah.

MIKE: But...

MARZIPAN: But they didn’t bring one in.

MIKE: {laughs} I— I can’t imagine in would be very easy to find a stunt double for you.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Most people don’t have your— you have a unique physique.

MARZIPAN: Well, they had wigs, you know. {Mike laughs}

MATT: Is that table just sitting on you guys’ laps? {laughs}

MARZIPAN: It was extremely uncomfortable, I was very unhappy with the production designer.

MATT: It looks like you’re carryin’ more of the weight, there. Why doesn’t that table have, like, a— s— legs or a stand?

MARZIPAN: I don’t know, they just don’t treat us very well sometimes.

MATT: Somebody’s not treatin’ Strong Sad very well right now.

MARZIPAN: I know, I know. We’re gonna call the union in eventually.

MATT: Here’s your— is this one of your real boyfriends? The Cheat?

MARZIPAN: Umm, I don’t wanna go there, Matt. {Mike laughs}

MATT: {laughs} Ohh! {laughs} Excuse me! What do you think of that bear shark? I think that sha—that thing is kinda cute.

MARZIPAN: He i— he is attractive.

MATT: Yeah.

MARZIPAN: Ow! See? I just can't even watch that.

MIKE: {laughs} So w— are those really your shins?

MARZIPAN: Well, don't tell anybody, but... I don't really have legs.

MIKE: {laughs} {amused} Really?

MARZIPAN: Well, yeah, but again, I really don't want to go there.

MATT: All right. Maybe we shouldn'ta put it on the DVD.

MARZIPAN: {sound of displeasure} {Mike and Matt laugh}

MIKE: You don't seem to be enjoying yourself very much, Marzipan.

MARZIPAN: Well, that wasn't mud, it— it was actually chocolate, because that's what I requested, but...

MIKE: Oh, that's good.

MATT: That's not bad—

MARZIPAN: Yeah.

MATT: —getting squirted in the face with chocolate.

MARZIPAN: But then when Homestar tried to lick it off at the end of the—

MIKE: Eww.

MATT: {simultaneously} Eww, stop.

MARZIPAN: Yeah, it was really gross.

Easter Egg Transcript

MIKE: So what do you think of this, Marzipan? {laughs}

MARZIPAN: Well, I— I was thinking we should go out and get some Vietnamese, or Thai, or some kinda Asian lunch, after this.

MIKE: {indiscernible}

MATT: {simultaneously} That sounds good.

MIKE: I'll do it.

See also

External Links

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