dangeresque 3
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad Email #106
On receiving an e-mail about Dangeresque 3, Strong Bad, who hasn't made it yet, gives us a director's cut of Dangeresque 1 instead.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad/Dangeresque, The Cheat/Istanbul, Coach Z/Renaldo, Homestar Runner/Dangeresque too, Strong Sad/Hot Tub, The King of Town/Perducci, Strong Mad/Killingyouguy, Marzipan/Cutesy Buttons
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD:{singing} Oh, here comes little e-mail, with a gun in his hand...
{reading}
hi there strong bad, i was just wondering,when is dangeresque 3 comeing out? yours truly, john newell, on
{Strong Bad pronounces "comeing" as it is written (replete with spelling mistake), viz. "koh-may-ing". He also pronounces "Ontario" (ON) as "on" and "John Newell" as "Johnny Well"}
STRONG BAD: Whoa. I left my Johnny Well on. {He deletes "on" and types "off".} Johnny Well: off. {We hear the sound of a large machine powering down.} Man! People won't leave me alone about this one. {typing} Okay, okay, okay, okay. Dangeresque 3 production update! Day 114: Things are comeing {again pronounced "koh-may-ing"} along right on schedule. So far, we seem to have only hit one major snag. Um, and that is I haven't um, {as he types, the text gets smaller} made Dangeresque 3 yet. {text size returns to normal} But, before you start throwing full wine bottles at your computer screen, let me offer this as a cop-out: the digitally remastered director's cut of: Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, too?
{We cut to Strong Bad wearing his Dangeresque glasses, sitting in the Gremlin, pretending to drive and humming the Dangeresque theme tune. The Cheat repeatedly runs by in the background holding a small tree to give the impression of movement. A sign is held up in front of the camera, moving around a little, reading: Dangeresque 1: "Dangeresque, Too?" followed by another, reading "Not in 3-D".}
STRONG BAD: {makes telephone ringing noises} Oh, my car phone. {He picks up a VCR with a phone cord coming out of it.} You got Dangeresque. Who this is?
{Cut to Coach Z in his Renaldo costume. He is looking straight at the camera.}
COACH Z: Now?
STRONG BAD: {whispering, off-screen} Yeah, go, go.
COACH Z: {turns away from the camera and holds an unplugged phone receiver up to his ear} Hello, Dangeresque? It's Renaldo. I need you back here away, right? I mean, right away.
STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Uh, I'm in a car right now, but I can drive it to the office.
COACH Z: Sounds like a plan. {turns back to the camera} How was tha –
{Cut to Strong Bad in his car.}
STRONG BAD: Hang on, car phone! Get ready for some fancy driving!
{Strong Bad makes the sound of a car squealing around corners while the camera moves left to make it seem as if he's moving forwards. One of the Gremlin's hubcaps rolls from the left of the screen. We then cut to the office. Strong Bad opens the door and walks in.}
COACH Z: What took you so long?
STRONG BAD: Oh, I had to swing by Cool Weapons Surplus for a new nunchaku gun. {Holds up a gun with nunchakus taped to it.} And a Reesy Cup milkshake. {Holds up a milkshake cup with "Reesy Cup" printed on it.}
COACH Z: Well, anyways, I called you in to meet your new partner: Dangeresque, too?
{The camera pans right to Homestar Runner, wearing sunglasses.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: The name's Dangeresque. Nice to meet ya.
STRONG BAD: Whaaa?
COACH Z: Dangeresque!
STRONG BAD: Yeah?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What? {simultaneously}
{They both turn and glare at each other to the accompaniment of a shock riff made by Strong Bad over the top.}
COACH Z: Perducci's intercepted the serum at the border! {He holds up the newspaper from Stunt Double, this time with a taped-on headline reading "PERDUCCI IS THE BAD GUY".} If that serum doesn't make it through, they'll kidnap Cutesy Buttons!
STRONG BAD & HOMESTAR RUNNER: {shaking fists} Perducci!
{Cut to Homestar and Strong Bad playing squash in the basement (with Strong Bad's rendition of the Dangeresque theme tune as an accompaniment). Homestar serves the ball and they play a frantic volley, which Strong Bad wins.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {removes sunglasses} What is your malfunction?
STRONG BAD: Let's get one thing straight, meatball... face... butt: I work alone. 'Cept when I work with Renaldo... Which is all the time.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh yeah? Well, you need me because I'm the only one that knows where Perducci is, and where that is is that he is... in... Istanbul.
STRONG BAD: Istanbul! Of course!
{Blackout fade to an expanse of meadow in Free Country, USA, with a musical interlude from Strong Bad. Homestar Runner and Strong Bad are standing next to the Cheat, who is wearing a sign saying "Istanbul".}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Perducci's got to be here around in Istanbul somewhere.
STRONG BAD: I hope you're right. We’ve got to get that serum through...
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Let's ask this passers-by.
{Strong Sad walks by, holding a sandwich.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What do you know about Perducci, doughboy?
STRONG SAD: Ugh, I told you guys already I'm not going to be in your stupid movie!
{The frame "jumps." Same shot, but now Strong Bad is holding Strong Sad's sandwich.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What do you know about Perducci?
STRONG SAD: {reluctantly} Only that I am not one of his minions.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, thanks anyways. Move it along, hot tub!
{Strong Sad walks out.}
STRONG BAD: That stranger seemed to know a little bit too little about Perducci...
{With another musical interlude, blackout fade to Strong Sad and the King of Town (who is silhouetted), on top of Bubs' Concession Stand. The King of Town is wearing a bowler hat.}
KING OF TOWN: What? Two Dangeresques? {He turns to the camera, revealing that he is wearing a blue coat, sunglasses and a name-tag reading "hello my name is perducci".} Well, they'll still be no match for my secret weapon!
{Cut to a silhouetted Strong Mad, whose gleaming white eyes are the only visible feature of his body. Strong Bad makes a scary tune over the top, then sings the first two notes of the Dangeresque theme song as we cut to Homestar Runner and Strong Bad standing on top of a large piece of cardboard made up to look like a tall building, holding a horizontal rope. The frame "jumps" again to the same shot, but rotated ninety degrees so that it looks as if the Dangeresques are climbing the building.}
STRONG BAD: Once we've climbed this skyscraper, we'll hopefully be able to throw some people off. Maybe even Perducci.
{They continue to "climb". As Homestar's glasses fall onto the cardboard, we quickly cut to the top of the Concession Stand, where the Dangeresques meet the King of Town.}
KING OF TOWN: Dangeresque!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah?
STRONG BAD: What? {simultaneously}
KING OF TOWN: Allow me to introduce you to both my secret weapon and your doom: Killingyouguy!
{Strong Mad appears, raising his arms menacingly. The M on his singlet has been replaced with "KILLINGYOUGUY" and two post-its with a bullet hole and a scar drawn on have been stuck to his face. Strong Bad imitates a guitar screech over the top.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. Gad.
STRONG BAD: That guy is tall.
HOMESTAR RUNNER & STRONG BAD: You take the big guy.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: The pipes are broken!
{He leaps off. We cut to Homestar, suspended by a rope, whirling around and kicking Strong Sad repeatedly in the face. Strong Sad has a paper bag with Strong Mad's face drawn on it on his head and is wearing his singlet.}
STRONG SAD: {one exclamation on each hit} Oof! Ow! Ouff! Ouwh! Getting! Dizzy! Blacking! Out! Oof! Geez! Oouf!
{We then cut to Strong Bad, Coach Z (silhouetted) and Homestar (looking down on the fallen Strong Mad).}
COACH Z: Nice work there, Dangeresque!
STRONG BAD & HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks. Ahahahaha.
{Marzipan, as Cutesy Buttons, approaches Coach Z, holding a glass of iced tea, with ice cubes and mint bobbing on the surface.}
MARZIPAN: Mmm. Thanks for the serum, boys. Now I won't be kidnapped.
STRONG BAD: Oh no...
HOMESTAR RUNNER & STRONG BAD: ...looks like we're going to have to jump!
{They both jump off the Concession Stand and end in a freeze, silhouetted against a sunset. The credits roll while Strong Bad sings.}
STRONG BAD: Today is all right for tonight...
Riding in a Corvette, feeling all right,
Today is all right for tonight!
Today is all right for tonight...
Riding in a Corvette, feeling all right,
All right for tonight!
Dangeresque – Strong Bad
Dangeresque – Homestar Runner
Renaldo – Coach Z
Perducci – The King of Town
Cutesy Buttons – Marzipan
Killingyouguy – Himself
Passerby(Hot Tub) – El Dumpo
Istanbul – The Cheat
'Today is alright 4 2nite' written and performed by Strong Bad
{We cut to pictures of Strong Bad with Strong Sad's sandwich and Strong Sad protesting in the background; The Cheat washing the Gremlin while Strong Bad holds the sandwich; and The Cheat painting Strong Mad black on top of the Concession Stand. Then the screen turns black and both Dangeresques' cool glasses appear on the screen. "The End?" appears underneath them. The song ends and The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the sunglasses at the end and you can download "Today is Alright 4 2Nite", a song from the movie made by Strong Bad.
Fun Facts
- CD References
- Strong Bad's line "I work alone. 'Cept when I work with Renaldo. Which is all the time" is a line from the Strong Bad Sings CD.
- Dangeresque's door reads (backwards) DANGERESQUE Private Eye Crooked Cop which is also a throw to the Strong Bad Sings CD.
- The sign held up during the start of the director's cut contains the words "Dangeresque, Too?" written in Strong Bad's usual Ahnberg Hand. Usually The Brothers Chaps use a modified letter "q", but in this case they did not.
- The VCR used for the car phone is from 12:00 and the Characters page.
- The Newspaper is from stunt double.
- To read the exact text of the newspaper, see the easter eggs in stunt double.
- "I'm gonna have to jump!" is a reference to the stunt double, as is the whole e-mail.
- At the end of stunt double, Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective was said to be coming out in June 2004, which is when this e-mail came out. Also, it was supposed to be 'In 3D', which is why the sign says 'not in 3D' at the beginning of this one.
- "What is your malfunction?" is a reference to Stanley Kubrick's Vietnam war movie Full Metal Jacket
- The scene of Dangeresque and Dangeresque too going up the "skyscraper" is a parody of old Batman TV episodes.
- The Name Tag that The King of Town wears is from The Luau.
- The car is the Gremlin from Homestarloween Party.
- Killingyouguy! was played by Strong Mad and stunt-doubled by Strong Sad, but is listed in the credits as Himself.
- Strong Sad, who played Passerby or "Hot Tub" is listed in the credits as El Dumpo.
- "The pipes are broken!" is Homestar trying to say "Tatsu Maki Sen Puu Kyaku", a move from Street Fighter usually called the Hurricane Kick in US versions. This is because the characters in Street Fighter II are very hard to understand and sound like they're saying something else.
- Perducci's hide-out is the top of Bubs' Concession Stand.
- The Cheat's sign is a reference to A Decemberween Pageant.
- This email was originally titled "dangeresque3" (without the space) but was changed within hours to "dangeresque 3".
- The fact that The King of Town was hiding in Istanbul may be a nod to They Might Be Giants, who had a hit in 1990 called "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" and have collaborated with TBC on several occasions.
- More likely, it's a nod to countless action and spy movies set in the city.
- Istanbul is actually a big city in the Middle Eastern country of Turkey, curious in that it's located on both sides of the Bosphorus Strait - i.e. both in Europe and, like most of the country, in Asia.
- More likely, it's a nod to countless action and spy movies set in the city.
- When Dangeresque "stops" the car, the hub cap dosn't come off of the car. It was rolled from off screen.
- The file sbemail106.swf is the biggest email to date, coming in at 1265KB! The only other emails that have come in over 1MB are "japanese cartoon", at 1131KB; "date", at 1032KB; and "haircut", at 1066KB.
- The large size is mostly due to the 3 frames of TV static (167KB from those 3 frames alone), and the noisy still image (287KB) at the end.
- We never see what happened to Perducci.
- Strong Bad saying "That guy is tall" may be a reference to Pumpkin Carve-nival where Homestar said, "Alright, this guy is tall."
- The entire city of Istanbul is played by the Cheat, as seen in the credits.
- Homestar's "shades" are Venetian blinds-style, and may have been inspired by the movie "Summer School."
- This one's a stretch, but Strong Bad's lines "who this is?" and "reesy cup milk shake" may be a reference to comedian Martin Lawrence.
- Strong Bad does the music himself here whereas in stunt double the music was real. This is probably because Dangeresque 1 was first and was lower budget.
- Perducci's bowler hat is simply Homsar's hat, only brown.
- To make it look like Strong Bad is driving, the Cheat walks by 2-3 times. He sometimes holds a "tree".
- The Cheat's "Istanbul" costume is a reference to A Decemberween Pageant where his "Popular Vote" costume looks almost the same.
- "Reesy Cup Milkshake" is an obvious refrence to the peanut butter/chocolate candy "Reese's Peanut butter cups".
