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"Don't cry for me, The Cheatentina"

Strong Bad Email #109

DJ Solerous asks Strong Bad if he had ever made Homestar cry.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Li'l Brudder, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Tendafoot

Date: July 26, 2004



STRONG BAD: {Rapping} I'm not going to sing an email song this week e-{Talking} Oh. Never mind.

{Pulls up email}


YO yo Strong Bad,
Hey Strong Bad I was wondering if you
have ever made Homestar cry.
DJ Solerous, Australia.

{After "Hey Strong Bad" he stops mid-sentence and says:} Well, which is it? "Yo yo" or "Hey" Strong Bad? I mean, the outcome of the rest of this whole email hinges on the decision made- {Without skipping a beat, as if it no longer matters, he finishes reading the email.}

{Typing} Whoa! THE DJ Solerous? What an honor! I saw you spin in a warehouse in Canberra {with incorrect stress: Canbérra, not Cànberra} a few years back! Uh, no wait. I lied. I, nor anyone else, have ever heard of DJ Smoldyface.

{Pulls up blank page.}

So, have I ever made Homestar cry? Uh, yes. Yes I have. A lot. I can pretty much make anybody cry just by showing them this drawing I invented of a one-legged puppy named "Li'l Brudder". {Holds up a picture of a one-legged puppy saying "I can make it on my own".} {Laughing} I mean, it cracks me up, but Homestar just falls apart when he sees him. A-like so... {Gets up and exits.}

{Cut to: field. Homestar is standing there, looking angrily offscreen right. Enter Strong Bad.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, you stay over there.

STRONG BAD: Hey, Homestar. I've got something for you.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, Strong Bad! What is it what is it what is it what is it what is it?

STRONG BAD: It's just this drawing I made...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Uneasy} Oh, no. Don't do it. You know the storm that will unleash!

STRONG BAD: No! I think you'll like it!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Edge of tears} Strong Bad, no! I can't handle it!

STRONG BAD: Ta-daaah!! {Holds the Li'l Brudder drawing in front of his face.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Breaks down crying, falls to his knees} No-ho-hooo... LIDD'L BRUDDOR! That little guy... He's got the heart of a champion! You can make it, Li'l Brudder! You just keep scrapin' along! {Strong Bad looks on in disbelief; Homestar is lying on the ground, sobbing hysterically and kicking at the air} Li'l Brudder... I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE! I-I'm thinking of getting into male modeling - o-or maybe high finance... I JUST DON'T KNOW!!

STRONG BAD: {as Li'l Brudder, shaking the drawing like a crude hand puppet} I'm gonna be all right, Homestar. I can make it on my own!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sobs} It's like I said -- the heart of a champion!

{Enter the Cheat, from offscreen left.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: {Turns to The Cheat and does his Li'l Brudder act.} Hey, The Cheat, I'm gonna be a quarterback when I grow up! I'm gonna throw for 2,000 yards! {The Cheat begins sobbing in Cheatese.} Don't cry for me, The Cheat-entina...

{Enter Strong Sad, his eyes red around the edges and all watery, apparently trying NOT to cry.}

STRONG SAD: Oh, Strong Bad, is Li'l Brudder named after me? Do you think of ME as a... one-legged puppy?

STRONG BAD: Uhh, no. I think of you as a two-legged elephant... named "Tendafoot." {Holds up a picture of this, with "Tendafoot" saying "I'm tops!" Speaks as Tendafoot/Strong Sad:} I could power a small city with my whining!

STRONG SAD: {dejected} I probably COULD.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {still sobbing} Oh, Tenderfoot, can you tell me how to get the most out of life?

{Cut to Compy 386. Strong Bad enters and sits down.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} There ya go. Homestar crying. Not a problem. I bet all a y'alls are prob'ly crying all over the place. That Li'l Brudder sure knows how to tug at your heartstrings. {begins to choke up as he speaks} He's just such a trooper. Got such a strong one leg. {recovers} Um, yeah. I think I've got a {hesitates} food in the oven. I gotta go. {Gets up and hurries out.}

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "YO Yo" to see a Strong Bad yo-yo.
  • Click on "The DJ Solerous" to see a flyer for a DJ event. "Don't tell the cops!!"
  • Click on "Homestar crying" at the end to see more of him crying.
{Homestar is still bawling.}
HOMESTAR: Ohh, Tendafoot! Can you tell me what to do with myself? I feel like I'm at a crossroads, and there's like, a Denny's on one corner, and an IHOP on the other!
{Homestar is kneeling over the Tendafoot drawing.}
HOMESTAR: Can you give me some sound financial advice?
{Homestar is laying on the ground again.}
HOMESTAR: Tendafoot, can you help advise me on my future?
  • Click on "Li'l Brudder" at the end to see Li'l Brudder falling off his one leg.

Fun Facts


  • When Homestar is rolling around on the ground, you get to see the tread on his shoes, which no longer has a star on it like it did in Marshmallow's Last Stand.
  • The tears flying off Homestar's face are the same as in A Jorb Well Done. In A Jorb Well Done, the water coming off his face is sweat.

Inside References

  • The DJ flyer is a reference to an easter egg in techno for The Cheat's light-switch rave. (also see Real-World References)
  • Homestar asking Tenderfoot for some financial advice in an easter egg might be a reference to Decemberween Kids' Book.
  • "I can make it on my own" might be a reference to the easter egg in invisibility, where the tossed-out Tandy 400 says it.
  • When Li'l Brudder falls, it makes the same sound that Homsar makes when he walks.

Real-World References

  • On the DJ flyer, "the DJ from Roseanne" is a reference to the television show "Roseanne" where a character named "David Jacob 'D. J.' Conner" was played by actor Michael Fishman. (also see Inside References)
  • "Don't cry for me the Cheatentina" is a reference to the song "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" from Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Evita".
  • It may be coincidental, but "Little Brother" is the name of the dog in Disney's Mulan.
    • Furthermore, 'Little Brother' is the name of the eighth elephant in "The Song of the Eighth Elephant," from The Good Person of Setzuan by Bertolt Brecht. Perhaps Strong Sad IS reminiscent of at least ONE "Little Brother."
  • Homestar says "I'm thinking of getting into Male Modeling!" which may be a reference to the film Zoolander, when Zoolander says the exact same thing.
  • Strong Bad naming the two-legged elephant "Tendafoot" is probably a reference to the Boy Scouts' rank of "Tenderfoot", which is the first accomplishment level someone can achieve (after plain "Scout").

External Links

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