couch patch

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Strong Bad Email #88

Somebody asks Strong Bad about the history behind the patch on his couch.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Little Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, The Cheat (easter egg)


STRONG BAD: I'm goin' to try something a little different.

{typing} print out million dollar bill.exe

{The computer responds}
Bad command or file name.

STRONG BAD: {not typing} What? Oh.

{typing} no for real, print me out a million dollar bill, man.exe

{The computer responds}
Syntax error.

STRONG BAD: {typing} um, this time, really print me out a million dollars bill.nofoolin'

{The computer responds}
Cut it out, you.

STRONG BAD: {not typing} What that! Don't give me none of that cross talk!

Oh well, it was worth a shot. Now on to... {sighs} on to the e-mail.

{reading e-mail}
is there a story behiend {pronounced just like the e-mail author misspelled it} the patch on the couch? If so, do tell.

form, {again misspelled}
your pal

{not typing} Oh! My pal.

{typing} Well Palbert, it's a good story. And now you all have to hear it.

{Cut to flashback of Strong Bad in the basement with a sack acting all mysterious.}

Seems I was looking for a place to hide all my Aztec gold. But when I made the first incision, not only did I realize that I don't have any Aztec gold, {bag falls open to reveal it was full of oil filters} but I unleashed a stench of biblical proportions.

{typing} They had to call in a hazmat team just to hose me hose me hose me (typed then deleted, typed then deleted, then typed) down!

{Cut to The Poopsmith (wearing a "Has Matt?" suit) hosing Strong Bad down as he screams.}

{typing} I had to spend a fortune on Glade plugins.

{Cut to Strong Sad standing next to Strong Bad at the computer.}

STRONG SAD: Now wait a second, that's not how I remember it

STRONG BAD: Oh, and I'm sure every loser out there wants to hear your loser opinions, loser.

STRONG SAD: They do!

{Cut to flashback of a young Strong Bad in the basement}

I seem to remember a young Strong Bad thinking that Olympic sprinter Carl Lewis was a woman. And that he was hot!

{Young Strong Bad writes "Strong Bad LUVS Carla Lewis!! and thinks shes hott!!" on the couch.}

STRONG BAD: That is entirely untrue.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Lies! All lies!

{Cut to Homestar standing behind Strong Bad.}

Clearly I'm the only one who remembers how it all went down.

{Cut to flashback of Homestar laying on the couch in the basement.}

It was not so long ago that I was in Strong Bad's basement spitting Teddy Grahams all over the place. One of them got stuck to the ceiling.

STRONG BAD: Homestar, shut up! This is about that patch on the couch. It's clearly already on there in your flashback.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh oh ooooooh. I thought this week's e-mail was entitled "Teddy Graham Memories."

{Cut to shadowed "This guy's voice has been digitally altered" interview session}

MYSTERIOUS PERSON {Clearly Coach Z}: No, no. I got the real scoop. Strong Bad had me over for Gumbo one night, and I don't know what kind of doodoo meat he was using in there, but I had to puke!

{Cut to flashback of Mysterious Person's shadow in the basement}

So I went downstairs and I noticed this little rip in the couch, so I puked in it!

{Shadow pukes in the couch}

{Cut back to interview session}

I... I'm sorry for what I done!

STRONG BAD: {typing} I liked that gumbo! I didn't use no doodoo meat. If I ever find out who that guy is... Well, Palbert, there's your answer. Me? I'm gonna go over there.

{Starts to get up, but comes back}

{not typing} Oh wait!

{typing} make homestar's head explode.exe

{the computer responds} No can do


STRONG BAD: Ooh crap, this computer is worthless.

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • At the end you can click on the "make homestars head explode.exe" link to see someone's head explode.
  • You can click on a hidden 'print out million dollar bill, please.exe" at the bottom to print out a million dollar bill. This is more easily seen if you use the contrast knob to make the background blue.

Fun Facts

  • Little Strong Bad is wearing a shirt featuring a rather well known advertisement for "Rock City", a tourist trap in the south.
  • In the "make homestars head explode.exe" easter egg, when Homestar Runner asks The Cheat if he ever like, "Pour Mountain Dew all over it," it is a reference to the email anything.
  • The Cheat's head exploding is a reference to The House That Gave Sucky Treats.
  • Strong Bad's floppy disk reads "Old Game"

External Links

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