boring (really)

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Staring at a wall helps boredom.

Strong Bad Email #131

We learn how boring Free Country, USA really is. Bubs counts discount bricks.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Bubs, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad, Coach Z, Pom Pom (Easter egg), The King of Town (Easter Egg), Homsar (Easter egg), The Poopsmith (Easter egg), Pom Pom's girls (Easter Egg)

Places: Computer Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Stick, King of Town's Castle (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: June 06, 2005

Running Time: 4:44

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {rapping} E-mail theme song! 1-2-3! A da-da-checka e-mail wit' me, SB, y'all! {loads the email}

{Strong Bad says "Strobah" in place of "Strongbad," "groan" in place of "crap," and pronounces "TX" like "Tejas".}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So, you're bored out of your mind, eh? Well, you've come to the right place. Let's see what I...can do...about...that. {really draws "that" out, like "thaaaaaahhht"}

{Strong Bad exits stage left, and the screen zooms out on the Lappy. It then shows Bubs' face from very close up, and zooms out to show Bubs looking at the side of his concession stand while Strong Bad joins him. All the dialogue until Strong Sad's line is said at an exaggeratedly slow pace.}

STRONG BAD: Bubs! What craziness...is going on... over here?

{short pause}

BUBS: Oh! Strong Bad! {Strong Bad begins to slowly look towards Bubs} You startled me! I was just counting the bricks on this side of the building! I'm up to two hundred forty-eight!

STRONG BAD: Two hundred and forty-eight! That's just a little less than two fifty!

BUBS: Yep! I remember learning that in school!

STRONG BAD: Well, take care... Bubs. I'm gonna take real, {camera zooms in on Strong Bad's mouth} real {camera moves back} tiny steps on over to the Stick. {exits stage right — very slowly}

{another short pause}

BUBS: Be's careful!

{The screen zooms out on Bubs; Strong Bad, still walking in tiny steps, approaches Homestar Runner standing by the Stick. Homestar isn't blinking, and his mouth is open.}

STRONG BAD: What are you... um... doing?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm practicing... closing... my eyes. I'm not very... good... at it... though.

STRONG BAD: I see.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: More like... I see. *

{Close up on Homestar closing his eyes slowly, eventually closing them completely}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh! There we go! Now I see what all the fuss is about! {opens eyes} Oops, I lost it. {Bubs enters from stage left}

BUBS: Two hundred and ninety six!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wow!
STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} What?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's just a little less... than three hundred!

ALL: I remember learning that in school!

{Strong Sad suddenly jumps in under the influence of caffeine, interrupting "school" as flames burst on the sides of the screen for a split second.}

STRONG SAD: Wah-wah-wah-wait! You guys! You guys! I struck gold on the alien spaceship - I think it gave me super powers, there are wood davers everywhere!

STRONG BAD: {typing} So, Jackson, as you can plainly see, things move a mile a minute 'round her'. Except for that Strong Sad. That guy's a real bore. And quite a fan of Danish physicist Niels Bohr. The most aptly named of all Danish physicists. So, I hope I bored you back into your mind. And I don't mean 'bored into your mind' like REEER! Pssh pssh! {typed as "(awesome drilling some brains sound)"}. That's gross. But if you're still bored, sit back, relax, and prepare to experience the fury of... me naming all the three letter words I can think of. {Strong Bad makes an imitation of a walkie-talkie click, then clears his throat and brings up new screen} Cat. The. Lob. Irk. Try. Wet. Cod. For. Her. Ebb. Egg. Goo. Elk. Ilk. {The Paper comes down.} Dog. Fat. Pat. Spy. Get. Sat. Sit. {screen dims} Wow. Man. {After a few seconds, the screen comes back up with many more words typed as Strong Bad continues to list words} Huh. Not. Sty. Eye. Pie. Tug. Gut. Gun. Sap. Asp. Pus. Job -

COACH Z: {record scratching noise, then from offscreen:} I gotta stop you there, Strong Bad. I'm pretty sure "jorb" is a four letters word.

Footnote

{* This line could be "More like I see," (meaning that H*R can see because he can't shut his eyes) or "More like 'eye' see," (a simple pun).} It could also just be Homestar saying something pointless.

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "Niels Bohr" to see a signed picture of him addressed to Strong Sad.
    • The autograph reads
      yo yo, S²
      you're not
      BOHRN yet!
      ha ha!! —Nilly `16
  • At the end, click on "try, wet, cod" for an image of a fish, with the text "Try wet cod!!! (Please, oh, please)".
  • Click on "err" for a comic book drawing of Strong Bad and The Cheat.
    • The comic book drawing is a reference to Groo the Wanderer, written and drawn by Sergio Aragonés.
  • Click on "old, bag" to see a short scene at a party thrown by the King of Town.
    {Pom Pom, the King of Town, the Poopsmith, and Homsar are standing in the King's castle with two of Pom Pom's girls. Two bags marked "PORK RAMBLINS" and "PORK SNAGGLINS" can be seen in the foreground. "It's the Weekend" (from montage) can be heard in the background, as the party guests make a poor and somewhat unintelligible attempt at singing along.}

Fun Facts

Strong Bad's list of words

  • Note that "man" is listed twice (On the second line, third word from the right, and on the sixth line, second word from the right).
  • The word "use" is also listed twice (On the third line, seventh word from the left, and on the seventh line, third word from the right).
  • There is no comma after "dew" (last word on second line).
  • "Sbu" and "yok" are not words in the English language.

Remarks

  • In this email, we find out that the Lappy has more buttons when the email is shown than Reply, Forward and Delete. It also has Save, Computer and Image.

Inside References

  • One of the three letter words Strong Bad types is "sbu", which is a reference to lunch special.
  • Strong Bad says "Prepare to experience the fury of... me naming all the three letter words I can think of." in his tour guide voice from theme park, from which the first half of said line was taken. He ends with the sound of the microphone clicking off, also heard in theme park.
  • Strong Sad's hyperactivity, twitching eye and mention of wood-davers are references to caffeine.
    • This scene also re-uses the Deathly Pallor music from radio.
  • Coach Z's comment on "jorb" being a four-letter word is a reference to A Jorb Well Done.
  • The way Strong Bad runs when taking "real tiny steps" is similar to how his past self ran the Ten-Step Footrace in flashback.
  • In the "old, bag" easter egg, the background music is the end credits music from montage.

Real World References

  • Strong Sad's claim that he was given super powers after being taken aboard an alien spaceship is a reference to The Greatest American Hero.

External Links

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