Where's The Cheat?
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad and his posse can't find The Cheat. Homestar Runner makes Marzipan a sandwich, which she immediately falls in love with and names Homestar Jr.
Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Strong Bad, Pom Pom, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, [[Bubs|]], Coach Z, The Goblin, Homsar, The Poopsmith, The King of Town, The Cheat.
Places: Marzipan's House, The Stick, Strong Sad's Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, King of Town's Castle, The King of Town's Grill
Date: February 25, 2002
Running Time: 6:18
Page Title: Where is the Cheat?
Contents |
Transcript
{We begin by looking at a sesame seed bun with mayo being spread over it. Each time the knife passes over it, the credits displayed on the mayo change. "This is a Homestar Runner Cartoon" "Mike, Craig and Matt wrote it" "Matt and Mike made it" "Matt and Missy did the voices" "its called: Where's the Cheat?" We zoom out to see Homestar Runner in Marzipan's kitchen making a veggie burger. He puts green olives on top and sticks them on with toothpicks.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {making sound effects for the olives} Dik! Doing! Dik! Sboing!
{The sandwich is finished, Homestar lifts it up to marvel at his creation}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hmm! {walks over to Marzipan, who's taking a nap on her couch} Hey stupid, I brought you this stuff! Oh, I mean, I brought you this veggie burger.
{Marzipan gets up from the couch and Homestar hands her the burger.}
MARZIPAN: Oh, thanks, Homestar! {looks at the burger} Oh! He's just adorable! He's got a little face!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, I thought that was great, too. The olives, um, kinda look like... he has eyes.
MARZIPAN: Little green eyes with red pupils and a big leafy smile? Homestar, I don't think I can eat this. He's just too cute.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Umm... yeah. It's cute and all, but, um, it's not that cute.
MARZIPAN: Oh, yes he is {voice squeaks briefly} that cute! Aren't you that cute? Aren't you that cute?
{The phone begins to ring, and continues during the following dialogue.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Umm... Marzipan? Um, I think your phone... is ringing. Yeah, definitely your phone's ringing.
MARZIPAN: {simultaneously} Yes you are. Yes you are. Oh yes you are. Now do a little smile for me. Do a smile, that's it. That's it. Oh, I like your lettuce.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um... are you gonna get that?
{Cut to Marzipan's Answering Machine.}
MARZIPAN: {answering machine} Hi, this is Marzipan. Please leave me a message.
{beep}
STRONG BAD: {leaving a message} Oh hey Marzipan. Have you seen The Cheat? Because we can't find him anywhere. Anyways, this is Strong Bad—uh, ooh, um... {clears throat and starts mimicking Homestar's style of speech, badly} I mean this—this is Homestar... Runner. Oh Marzipan... um... I killed Pom Pom!
{Cut to the stick; Strong Bad, Pom Pom, and Strong Mad are there. Strong Bad is talking on Pom Pom's cell}
STRONG BAD: Yeah, we're—we were playing badminton in his yard... and I got mad and I killed him! {cut back to the answering machine} Oh no, I need your help...burying his body...
{Strong Bad tries to hold back laughter, cut back to the field}
STRONG BAD: Uh, bring some towels...and some garbage bags... Uh... this is Homestar...
{Strong Bad closes the cell phone and tosses it to Pom Pom.}
STRONG BAD: Pom Pom, cell.
{Pom Pom's body absorbs the cell phone}
STRONG BAD: BWAHAHAHA! Oh man, that was so great! You guys shoulda heard that man! I pretended to be Homestar, and I said I killed you, Pom Pom! Like, Marzipan's gonna freak out—
STRONG MAD: THE CHEEEEEAAAAT! Huh?
STRONG BAD: Oh, The Cheat? Right, right. Pom Pom, cell again.
{Pom Pom lowers his eyelids in annoyance, bubbles, and gives him the cell again. Strong Bad makes a call and Strong Sad answers.}
STRONG SAD: Hello?
STRONG BAD: Hey, wiener. Is The Cheat over there? Don't you guys play Candyland sometimes or something?
{Cut to Strong Sad's room.}
STRONG SAD: Oh, no. The Cheat and I play Jenga on Tuesdays. Tonight is my night to play—
{Cut back to The Stick. Strong Sad is heard mumbling from Pom Pom's cellphone.}
STRONG BAD: Okay, so The Cheat is not there. Thanks. Bye. {hangs up and tosses the cell back to Pom Pom} I mean, where could he be, you know? It's like, what part of "Meet us at the stick" didn't he understand? Well, I guess we should go look for him. Come on, guys.
{They all walk off and arrive at Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is going over "inventory," handwritten on a piece of paper.}
BUBS: 17... 24... 17... hey you guys! This isn't another shake-down, is it?
STRONG BAD: Naw, man. We're just looking for The Cheat. You seen him?
BUBS: Well, let's see here! {goes through his inventory} Candy bars, popcorns, ketchup, catsup... {arrives at "cheats... 0"} Uh, nope! I'm fresh outta Cheats.
{Cut to Marzipan's living room, using the veggie-burger as a scene change a la Batman logo in the old Batman show. She's talking to the burger, while Homestar is standing there in a daze, slowly tipping over.}
HOMESTAR: {while Marzipan talks} Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
MARZIPAN: Somebody needs a name! Who needs a name? You need a name, that's who! I think I'll call you Homestar Junior. Homestar Junior! {Homestar falls over} Do a smile for me, Homestar Junior! Who's the cutest, Homestar Junior?
{Cut to Coach Z's locker room, using the same veggie-burger scene change. Bubs, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and Pom Pom are facing the Coach.}
COACH Z: Sorry, boys! I haven't seen The Chort! Though I have caught him sleepin' in that far locker there from time to time.
{Strong Bad goes up to the locker and opens it up.}
STRONG BAD: Lessee what we got in there... nope, he's not here. Though I see he has been cheating on his New Year's Resolution. {pulls out a pack of cigarettes} Though I can't really blame him. You know, because he's The Cheat.
{Strong Mad holds up a signed picture of The Cheat that he gave to Strong Mad. It's signed "To Strong Mad, You are rad! —The Cheat" Strong Mad starts crying.}
STRONG BAD: Don't worry, big guy. We'll cut to a montage. I mean, find The Cheat.
{Cut to a montage. Pom Pom puts up posters of The Cheat, titled "Have You Seen The Cheat???? Ht: 1 ft. 2 in. wt: 18 lbs." He then bounces off. Strong Mad walks through the Halloween area. He overturns the Gremlin, revealing the Goblin underneath.}
STRONG MAD: The Cheat?
{The Goblin starts dancing. We do a logo transition, this time using one of the posters Pom Pom was putting up. We are in Strong Sad's room. He's playing Connect Four.}
STRONG SAD: Okay, your turn.
{Cut to the other side of the table, where Homsar is sitting.}
HOMSAR: Oh no! You shanked my Jengaship!
STRONG SAD: {slight pause} I shanked your Jengaship? We're playing Connect Four!
{Bubs walks in.}
BUBS: Hey you guys! Where The Cheat is at?
STRONG SAD: Oh, I don't know. It's just us two.
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaAaAaA! Hey, Tubbs! I just lost my Jengajam.
BUBS: {stares for a second, then responds} Don't you talk to me!
{Bubs walks off. Cut to Strongbadia. Strong Bad walks in.}
STRONG BAD: The Cheat? The Cheat! {His voice echoes as the wind howls. He sighs.} How's it going, Tire?
{Cut to The Poopsmith and Coach Z near The Poopsmith's pile.}
COACH Z: So you haven't seen him then? {The Poopsmith shakes his head} Okay. So I see you still got your pile of whatsit there.
{The Poopsmith nods.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Doo hoo hoo!
{Coach Z and The Poopsmith turn to look and the camera follows them, cutting to the King of Town approaching his grill with a steak.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Doo dee doo doo doo! Doo hoo hoo hoo!
{He lifts the cover of the grill to find The Cheat sleeping there}
THE KING OF TOWN: Oh! That little yellow thing! Wake up!
{Cut back to Coach Z.}
COACH Z: Hey look! The King's gone mad with power! He's gonna eat The Chort!! JEEEOOOOORRRHH! {Strong Mad steps into view} I got him, Strong Mad!
{Coach Z jumps onto of the King of Town's back, wrapping his arms around his head. The impact sends the King's crown flying, and it lands on Coach Z's head, who continues to cling as the King of Town runs back and forth.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Woo hoo! Woo hoo hoo! I'm absolutely being assaulted! Woo hoo hoo hoo!
{Strong Mad walks up and punches the King of Town (with Coach Z still on him), and they both go flying into the wall of the King's castle. Strong Bad shows up.}
STRONG BAD: Hang on, everybody! The King of Town was not going to eat The Cheat.
COACH Z: Ooh jeeze! Sorry about that there, Kingy!
{Coach Z and the King of Town walk up to the grill, and Pom Pom arrives from the opposite direction}
STRONG BAD: No, no, no, no. That's where The Cheat lives. That's his house!
COACH Z: Wait a minute! The Chort lives in the King of Town's grill, but you didn't think to check there before now?
STRONG BAD: Uh... Well... Yeah! I mean, it's a really complicated story. It all started...
{Marzipan arrives with the veggie-burger.}
MARZIPAN: Hey guys! Homestar Junior's talking now!
STRONG BAD: Who?
MARZIPAN: He said, "Put that freakin' sandwich down!"
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {from behind Marzipan} No, it was me!
{Marzipan holds up Homestar Jr. so that it blocks Homestar's head from our view, making it look like the sandwich has a body}
MARZIPAN: I know it was, sweetie!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, it was me! Homestar Runner! {waggles his body}
MARZIPAN: You're Homestar Junior, remember?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Would you put that freakin' sandwich down!
MARZIPAN: There, he said it again! I'm so proud of you! Who's the best, Homestar Junior?
{She continues to baby-talk Homestar Junior under Homestar's dialogue as the scene cuts to a silhouetted wide shot. The screen slowly fades to black.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Somebody, can I get some help here? Strong Bad? {Strong Bad shrugs.} Would someone talk some sense into this woman?
{Fade to black.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: King, you wanna eat that sandwich? Somebody eat that sandwich...
{After a pause, fade into a commercial for "The Homestar Jr."}
Announcer: Introducing the Homestar Junior. For a limited time only, certain children get prizes. Pay 99 cents.
Fun Facts
Trivia
- This is the first big 'toon on the site featuring The Brothers' Chaps current style of animation.
- This is currently the longest 'toon, short, or email on the entire site. This is closely followed by Halloween Fairstival, which is 13 seconds shorter.
- The cookie jar in Marzipan's kitchen is modeled after Trivia Time, Pom Pom's dog that never saw the light of day in any cartoons.
- This toon marks the beginning of Strong Sad's more or less fully developed "delicate" voice. There were still some remnants of his "tired" voice in The Best Decemberween Ever.
- This is the first time Homsar is acknowledged by a character other than Strong Bad.
- This cartoon marks the debut of The Stick.
- The ring of Marzipan's phone is default ringin.wav file in Microsoft Windows.
- This is the only toon (besides Halloween toons) that shows every single main character.
- This is also the only non-Halloween toon to feature The Goblin.
- The announcer who says, "Introducing the Homestar Junior..." was Mike.
- The following is hidden in the code if one views the source: "A Jorb HOME VISITORS Well Done" written, directed, drawn and animated by the Brothers Chaps all voices by Matt Chapman 0 1 2 3 4 Job vs. JAERB "A" "E" "O" JOERGHB! the businessman's job is giving the business JOB the construction worker's job is to smash things the poopsmith's job is obvious "job" - 285,194 times ghetto blastro "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times "job" - 285,194 times the end
Remarks
- When the The King of Town is walking toward his grill, a flyer for The Cheat is seen stapled to his stone castle wall, which is impossible, since staples could never go through stone.
- The old pop-up menu appears on this cartoon (at the bottom). All the buttons still work. Only this toon, A Jorb Well Done, Chinese Food Toons Menu, and the Yearbook Character Page seem to still have it.
- The Cheat weighs more than 4 times as much as Pom Pom.
- Bubs's "fresh outta Cheats" is a rare use of The Cheat's name without the definite article "The".
- The Cheat apparently prefers "Trophy Lights" brand cigarettes, in keeping with his trophy obsession seen in crazy cartoon.
Goofs
- In the beginning, Homestar's toothpicks appear from nowhere.
- Right before The King of Town comes up when Coach Z is talking to The Poopsmith, Coach Z quickly changes his hand gesture. Apparently, The Brothers Chaps accidentally left the graphic for his other gesture there for a couple frames.
- Bubs's legs are missing when he is talking with Homsar and Strong Sad.
- Throughout random parts of the cartoon, one of Strong Bad's eyes is drastically larger than the other.
- When Strong Sad and Homsar are playing Connect Four, the piece that Strong Sad put in is not seen later.
- When Homestar mentions that the olives on the Homestar Junior do in fact look like eyes, his eyes are reversed from the previous shot.
- The title has the phrase, "Its called," which should actually be "It's called."
Inside References
- "Where The Cheat is at?" is a reference to "Where My Hat Is At?", an old Homestar thing that was "Homestar's World Wide Web Debut".
- According to the credits, this cartoon was co-written by Craig Zobel.
- Strong Bad leaving prank calls on Marzipan's Answering Machine is a running gag.
Real-World References
- "You shanked my Jengaship" is a reference to the games Jenga and Battleship.
Fast Forward
- The music used in the montage was later used in the email little animal.
- Strong Bad said the title "Where's The Cheat" later in the email for kids.
- Coach Z's pose grabbing The King of Town was used later in the email virus.
