User:The thing

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The White Linen Nurse was so tired that her noble expression ached.
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<font color=red>MERRY</font> <font color=green>CHRISTMAS!!</font></BIG></BIG></BIG></BIG></BIG></BIG>
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Incidentally her head ached and her shoulders ached and her lungs ached and the ankle-bones of both feet ached quite excruciatingly. But nothing of her felt permanently incapacitated except her noble expression. Like a strip of lip-colored lead suspended from her poor little nose by two tugging wire-gray wrinkles her persistently conscientious sickroom smile seemed to be whanging aimlessly against her front teeth. The sensation certainly was very unpleasant.
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Looking back thus on the three spine-curving, chest-cramping, foot-twinging, ether-scented years of her hospital training, it dawned on the White Linen Nurse very suddenly that nothing of her ever had felt permanently incapacitated except her noble expression!
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Impulsively she sprang for the prim white mirror that capped her prim white bureau and stood staring up into her own entrancing, bright-colored Novia Scotian reflection with tense and unwonted interest.
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Except for the unmistakable smirk which fatigue had clawed into her plastic young mouth-lines there was certainly nothing special the matter with what she saw.
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^^^ My first edit in 6 months!
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"Perfectly good face!" she attested judicially with no more than common courtesy to her progenitors. "Perfectly good and tidy looking face! If only--if only--" her breath caught a trifle. "If only--it didn't look so disgustingly noble and--hygienic--and dollish!"
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All along the back of her neck little sharp prickly pains began suddenly to sting and burn.
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"Silly--simpering--pink and white puppet!" she scolded squintingly, "I'll teach you how to look like a real girl!"
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Very threateningly she raised herself to her tiptoes and thrust her glowing, corporeal face right up into the moulten, elusive, quick-silver face in the mirror. Pink for pink, blue for blue, gold for gold, dollish smirk for dollish smirk, the mirror mocked her seething inner fretfulness.
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"Why--darn you!" she gasped. "Why--darn you! Why, you looked more human than that when you left the Annapolis Valley three years ago! There were at least--tears in your face then, and--cinders, and--your mother's best advice, and the worry about the mortgage, and--and--the blush of Joe Hazeltine's kiss!"
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Furtively with the tip of her index-finger she started to search her imperturbable pink cheek for the spot where Joe Hazeltine's kiss had formerly flamed.
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"My hands are all right, anyway!" she acknowledged with infinite relief. Triumphantly she raised both strong, stub-fingered, exaggeratedly executive hands to the level of her childish blue eyes and stood surveying the mirrored effect with ineffable satisfaction. "Why my hands are--dandy!" she gloated. "Why they're perfectly--dandy! Why they're wonderful! Why they're--." Then suddenly and fearfully she gave a shrill little scream. "But they don't go with my silly doll-face!" she cried. "Why, they don't! They don't! They go with the Senior Surgeon's scowling Heidelberg eyes! They go with the Senior Surgeon's grim gray jaw! They go with the--! Oh! what shall I do? What shall I do?"
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Dizzily, with her stubby finger-tips prodded deep into every jaded facial muscle that she could compass, she staggered towards the air, and dropping down into the first friendly chair that bumped against her knees, sat staring blankly out across the monotonous city roofs that flanked her open window,--trying very, very hard for the first time in her life, to consider the General-Phenomenon-of-Being-a-Trained-Nurse.
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All around and about her, inexorable as anesthesia, horrid as the hush of tomb or public library, lurked the painfully unmistakable sense of institutional restraint. Mournfully to her ear from some remote kitcheny region of pots and pans a browsing spoon tinkled forth from time to time with soft-muffled resonance. Up and down every clammy white corridor innumerable young feet, born to prance and stamp, were creeping stealthily to and fro in rubber-heeled whispers. Along the somber fire-escape just below her windowsill, like a covey of snubbed doves, six or eight of her classmates were cooing and crooning together with excessive caution concerning the imminent graduation exercises that were to take place at eight o'clock that very evening. Beyond her dreariest ken of muffled voices, beyond her dingiest vista of slate and brick, on a far faint hillside, a far faint streak of April green went roaming jocundly skyward. Altogether sluggishly, as though her nostrils were plugged with warm velvet, the smell of spring and ether and scorched mutton-chops filtered in and out, in and out, in and out, of her abnormally jaded senses.
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Taken all in all it was not a propitious afternoon for any girl as tired and as pretty as the White Linen Nurse to be considering the general phenomenon of anything--except April!
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In the real country, they tell me, where the Young Spring runs wild and bare as a nymph through every dull brown wood and hay-gray meadow, the blasé farmer-lad will not even lift his eyes from the plow to watch the pinkness of her passing. But here in the prudish brick-minded city where the Young Spring at her friskiest is nothing more audacious than a sweltering, winter-swathed madcap, who has impishly essayed some fine morning to tiptoe down street in her soft, sloozily, green, silk-stockinged feet, the whole hob-nailed population reels back aghast and agrin before the most innocent flash of the rogue's green-veiled toes. And then, suddenly snatching off its own cumbersome winter foot-habits, goes chasing madly after her, in its own prankish, vari-colored socks.
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Now the White Linen Nurse's socks were black, and cotton at that, a combination incontestably sedate. And the White Linen Nurse had waded barefoot through too many posied country pastures to experience any ordinary city thrill over the sight of a single blade of grass pushing scarily through a crack in the pavement, or puny, concrete-strangled maple tree flushing wanly to the smoky sky. Indeed for three hustling, square-toed, rubber-heeled city years the White Linen Nurse had never even stopped to notice whether the season was flavored with frost or thunder. But now, unexplainably, just at the end of it all, sitting innocently there at her own prim little bed-room window, staring innocently out across indomitable roof-tops,--with the crackle of glory and diplomas already ringing in her ears,--she heard, instead, for the first time in her life, the gaily dare-devil voice of the spring, a hoydenish challenge flung back at her, leaf-green, from the crest of a winter-scarred hill.
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"Hello, White Linen Nurse!" screamed the saucy city spring. "Hello, White Linen Nurse! Take off your homely starched collar! Or your silly candy-box cap! Or any other thing that feels maddeningly artificial! And come out! And be very wild!"
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Like a puppy dog cocking its head towards some strange, unfamiliar sound, the White Linen Nurse cocked her head towards the lure of the green-crested hill. Still wrestling conscientiously with the General-Phenomenon-of-Being-a-Trained-Nurse she found her collar suddenly very tight, the tiny cap inexpressibly heavy and vexatious. Timidly she removed the collar--and found that the removal did not rest her in the slightest. Equally timidly she removed the cap--and found that even that removal did not rest her in the slightest. Then very, very slowly, but very, very permeatingly and completely, it dawned on the White Linen Nurse that never while eyes were blue, and hair gold, and lips red, would she ever find rest again until she had removed her noble expression!
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<center>'''<font size=5><big><big><big><big>This user is...</big></big></big></big></font>'''
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With a jerk that started the pulses in her temples throbbing like two toothaches she straightened up in her chair. All along the back of her neck the little blonde curls began to crisp very ticklingly at their roots.
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Still staring worriedly out over the old city's slate-gray head to that inciting prance of green across the farthest horizon she felt her whole being kindle to an indescribable passion of revolt against all Hushed Places. Seething with fatigue, smoldering with ennui, she experienced suddenly a wild, almost incontrollable impulse to sing, to shout, to scream from the housetops, to mock somebody, to defy everybody, to break laws, dishes, heads,--anything in fact that would break with a crash! And then at last, over the hills and far away, with all the outraged world at her heels, to run! And run! And run! And run! And run! And laugh! Till her feet raveled out! And her lungs burst! And there was nothing more left of her at all,--ever--ever--any more!
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[[File:takeabreakexe.png|500px]]</center>
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Discordantly into this rapturously pagan vision of pranks and posies broke one of her room-mates all awhiff with ether, awhirr with starch.
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Instantly with the first creak of the door-handle the White Linen Nurse was on her feet, breathless, resentful, grotesquely defiant.
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"Get out of here, Zillah Forsyth!" she cried furiously. "Get out of here--quick!--and leave me alone! I want to think!"
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Perfectly serenely the newcomer advanced into the room. With her pale, ivory-tinted cheeks, her great limpid brown eyes, her soft dark hair parted madonna-like across her beautiful brow, her whole face was like some exquisite, composite picture of all the saints of history. Her voice also was amazingly tranquil.
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"Oh, Fudge!" she drawled. "What's eating you, Rae Malgregor? I won't either get out! It's my room just as much as it is yours! And Helene's just as much as it is ours! And besides," she added more briskly, "it's four o'clock now, and with graduation at eight and the dance afterwards, if we don't get our stuff packed up now, when in thunder shall we get it done?" Quite irrelevantly she began to laugh. Her laugh was perceptibly shriller than her speaking voice. "Say, Rae!" she confided. "That minister I nursed through pneumonia last winter wants me to pose as 'Sanctity' for a stained-glass window in his new church! Isn't he the softie?"
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[[Image:110px-videlectrixman.gif|right|thumb]]
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"Shall--you--do--it?" quizzed Rae Malgregor a trifle tensely.
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<center>[[Image:The thing.png]]</center>
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<center><div id="shortcut" style="border: 1px dashed blue; margin: 0em 1em 0em 1em; padding:5px; float: right; clear: both;">
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''This page has been<br />vandalized 32 times!''</div>
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{{User:The thing/s}}
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"Shall I do it?" mocked the newcomer. "Well, you just watch me! Four mornings a week in June--at full week's wages? Fresh Easter lilies every day? White silk angel-robes? All the high-souls and high-paints kowtowing around me? Why it would be more fun than a box of monkeys! Sure I'll do it!"
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Expeditiously as she spoke the newcomer reached up for the framed motto over her own ample mirror and yanking it down with one single tug began to busy herself adroitly with a snarl in the picture-cord. Like a withe of willow yearning over a brook her slender figure curved to the task. Very scintillatingly the afternoon light seemed to brighten suddenly across her lap. _You'll Be a Long Time Dead!_ glinted the motto through its sun-dazzled glass.
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Still panting with excitement, still bristling with resentment, Rae Malgregor stood surveying the intrusion and the intruder. A dozen impertinent speeches were rioting in her mind. Twice her mouth opened and shut before she finally achieved the particular opprobrium that completely satisfied her.
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'''"''Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.''"'''  -Demetri Martin
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"Bah! You look like a--Trained Nurse!" she blurted forth at last with hysterical triumph.
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"So do you!" said the newcomer amiably.
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With a little gasp of dismay Rae Malgregor sprang suddenly forward. Her eyes were flooded with tears.
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[[Image:defender of the wiki.jpg|thumb|I win!]]
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"Why, that's just exactly what's the matter with me!" she cried. "My face is all worn out trying to look like a Trained Nurse! Oh, Zillah, how do you know you were meant to be a Trained Nurse? How does anybody know? Oh, Zillah! Save me! Save me!"
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Languorously Zillah Forsyth looked up from her work, and laughed. Her laugh was like the accidental tinkle of sleighbells in mid-summer, vaguely disquieting, a shiver of frost across the face of a lily.
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<center><blockquote style="background:#0C0; color:#FFF; padding:1em; width:500px; border:none; font-weight:bold; text-align:center; font-family:arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:125%;line-height:160%;">THE FOLLOWING <span style="font-size:140%;">USER PAGE</span> HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR<br>
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"Save you from what, you great big overgrown, tow-headed doll-baby?" she questioned blandly. "For Heaven's sake, the only thing you need is to go back to whatever toy-shop you came from and get a new head. What in Creation's the matter with you lately, anyway? Oh, of course, you've had rotten luck this past month, but what of it? That's the trouble with you country girls. You haven't got any stamina."
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<span style="font-size:140%;">COOL PEOPLE</span><br>
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SOMETHING THAT IS A THING.</span><br>
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<br>
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IT'S RATED
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| style="border:1px #FFF solid;" | <span style="font:bolder 200% serif">[[G|<font color=white>G</font>]]</span>
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| style="border:1px #FFF solid;" | Too cool!
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<div align="left" style="border: 3px solid #483D8B; overflow-y: scroll; height: 250px; width:250px">{{User:The thing/userboxes}}</div><p align="center">[[Image:everybody-poster.PNG]]</p>
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With slow, shuffling-footed astonishment Rae Malgregor stepped out into the center of the room. "Country girls," she repeated blankly. "Why, you're a country girl yourself!"
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Go here [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:The_thing&oldid=237611] [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:The_thing&oldid=245558#Quesions] [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:The_thing&oldid=266294] [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:The_thing&oldid=284059]
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[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:The_thing&oldid=299592]
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[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:The_thing&oldid=299824] [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:The_thing&oldid=352863] to see the accident I made on my page.
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==People with wikis of their own...==
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"I _am_ not!" snapped Zillah Forsyth. "I'll have you understand that there are nine thousand people in the town I come from--and not a rube among them. Why I tended soda fountain in the swellest drug-store there a whole year before I even thought of taking up nursing. And I wasn't as green--when I was six months old--as you are now!"
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#{{User:H*bad/sig}}
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#[[User: CoachD|CoachD]]
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#{{User:Dacheatbot/sig}}[http://www.editthis.info/dacheatbot_wiki/index.php/Main_Page DacheatbotWiki]
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#{{User:Salty/sig}}
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==Game==
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Slowly with a soft-snuggling sigh of contentment she raised her slim white fingers to coax her dusky hair a little looser, a little farther down, a little more madonna-like across her sweet, mild forehead, then snatching out abruptly at a convenient shirt-waist began with extraordinary skill to apply its dangly lace sleeves as a protective bandage for the delicate glass-faced motto still in her lap, placed the completed parcel with inordinate scientific precision in the exact corner of her packing-box, and then went on very diligently, very zealously, to strip the men's photographs from the mirror on her bureau. There were twenty-seven photographs in all, and for each one she had already cut and prepared a small square of perfectly fresh, perfectly immaculate white tissue wrapping-paper. No one so transcendently fastidious, so exquisitely neat, in all her personal habits had ever trained in that particular hospital before.
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What would you do:  '''UNAVAILABLE UNTIL FANSTUFF WIKI RETURNS + 3 MONTHS'''
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*[[HRFWiki:User:The thing/What_would_you_do/1/|Basement]]
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*[[HRFWiki:User:The thing/What would you do/2/|Forest]]
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*[[HRFWiki:User:The thing/What would you do/3/|Snowed in]]
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*[http://www.editthis.info/efilms/index.php There are more here.]
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==Favorites==
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Very soberly the doll-faced girl stood watching the men's pleasant paper countenances smooth away one by one into their chaste white veilings, until at last quite without warning she poked an accusing, inquisitive finger directly across Zillah Forsyth's shoulder.
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My favorite things on HRWiki.org are:<BR>
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* [[TMBG]]<BR>
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* [[Secret Pages]]<BR>
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* [[Limozeen]]<BR>
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* [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Special:Search?search=GLITCHES&go=Go Glitches]<BR>
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=== Favorite Bands ===
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"Zillah!" she demanded peremptorily. "All the year I've wanted to know! All the year every other girl in our class has wanted to know! Where did you ever get that picture of the Senior Surgeon? He never gave it to you in the world! He didn't! He didn't! He's not that kind!"
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* [[Wikipedia:They Might Be Giants|They Might Be Giants]]
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* [[Wikipedia:"Weird Al" Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic]]
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* [[Wikipedia:The Beatles|The Beatles]]
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* [[Wikipedia:Daft Punk|Daft Punk]]
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* [[Wikipedia:T.I.|T.I.]]
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* [[Wikipedia:Parry Gripp|Parry Gripp]]
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* Young Gem
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* [[Wikipedia:Tupac|Tupac]]
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* [[Wikipedia:The Decemberists|The Decemberists]]
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== Spanish ==
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Deeply into Zillah Forsyth's pale, ascetic cheek dawned a most amazing dimple. "Sort of jarred you girls some, didn't it," she queried, "to see me strutting round with a photo of the Senior Surgeon?" The little cleft in her chin showed suddenly with almost startling distinctness. "Well, seeing it's you," she grinned, "and the year's all over, and there's nobody left that I can worry about it any more, I don't mind telling you in the least that I--bought it out of a photographer's show-case! There! Are you satisfied now?"
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¡La cosa está fresca!
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==The Welcomed List==
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With easy nonchalance she picked up the picture in question and scrutinized it shrewdly.
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People I welcomed (LONG LONG LIST!):
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# {{user|Mrmcmanman}}
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"Lord! What a face!" she attested. "Nothing but granite! Hack him with a knife and he wouldn't bleed but just chip off into pebbles!" With exaggerated contempt she shrugged her supple shoulders. "Bah! How I hate a man like that! There's no fun in him!" A little abruptly she turned and thrust the photograph into Rae Malgregor's hand. "You can have it if you want to," she said. "I'll trade it to you for that lace corset-cover of yours!"
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# {{user|Specter X}}
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# {{user|Johnnydno7}}
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# {{user|Gone}} - Troll!
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# {{user|H8r man}}
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# {{user|Broccoli Kills}} - Dr. Who!
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# {{user|The very strongest}}
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# {{user|Nick Hynes}}
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# {{user|I'maCluelessNewbie}} - Not real.
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# {{user|H*RUNBAD}} - NSMC
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# {{user|Ghost-frog}} - NSMC
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# {{user|Mrincredible}} - troll
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# {{user|The Door}} - Troll
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# (Not Listed because of Username...)
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# {{user|Atlanta Police}} - Master Chief (Vandal)
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# {{user|Mr. Conrad}} - Vandal
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# {{user|Shadow Scythe of Strongbadia?!}}.
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# {{user|Fahooglewitz1077}}.
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# {{user|Coach-n}}
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# {{user|Bleed0range}}
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# {{user|Slark001}}
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# {{user|Yolala}}
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# {{user|Kittama}}
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# {{user|TARINunit9}}
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# {{user|Phag}}
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# {{user|Johnny}}
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# {{user|Ksm51746}}
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# {{user|Yadaman}}
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# {{user|Pattillman40}}
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# {{user|Strong Devon}}
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# {{user|Koblamo}}
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# {{user|3-up}}
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# {{user|Makatota}}
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# {{user|Bhell13}}
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# {{user|Bowie60}}
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# {{user|Peblairman}}
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== Top 5 things I don't like about the wiki ==
+
Like water dripping through a sieve the photograph slid through Rae Malgregor's frightened fingers. With nervous apology she stooped and picked it up again and held it gingerly by one remotest corner. Her eyes were quite wide with horror.
-
# No Guestbooks
+
-
# Trolls
+
-
# <font color=white>White text</font>
+
-
# People leaving the wiki.
+
-
== Hi ==
+
"Oh, of course I'd like the--picture, well enough," she stammered. "But it wouldn't seem--exactly respectful to--to trade it for a corset-cover."
-
<sup>Hi</sup> <sub>Hi</sub> <sup>Hi</sup> <sub>Hi</sub> <sup>Hi</sup> <sub>Hi</sub> <sup>Hi</sup> <sub>Hi</sub> <sup>Hi</sup> <sub>Hi</sub> <sup>Hi</sup> <sub>Hi</sub>
+
-
==Homestar Favorites==
+
"Oh, very well," drawled Zillah Forsyth. "Tear it up then!"
-
# Favorite SBemail: [[virus]] and [[funny|funny <small>Punt-reer Punt-reer</small>]]
+
-
# Favorite character: [[Strong Bad]]
+
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# Favorite quote: "Coach Z, you jerk!"
+
-
# Favorite short: [[The System is Down]][[Strong Bad|.]]
+
-
# Favorite [[Holiday Toon]]: [[The House That Gave Sucky Treats]]
+
-
# Favorite [[Puppet Stuff]]: The [[Puppet Jam]]s
+
-
==Accomplishments==
+
Expeditiously with frank, non-sentimental fingers Rae Malgregor tore the tough cardboard across, and again across, and once again across, and threw the conglomerate fragments into the waste-basket. And her expression all the time was no more, no less, than the expression of a person who would infinitely rather execute his own pet dog or cat than risk the possible bungling of an outsider. Then like a small child trotting with infinite relief to its own doll-house she trotted over to her bureau, extracted the lace corset-cover, and came back with it in her hand to lean across Zillah Forsyth's shoulder again and watch the men's faces go slipping off into oblivion. Once again, abruptly without warning, she halted the process with a breathless exclamation.
-
* Joined the wiki
+
-
* Made an awesome userpage
+
-
*I was on [[User:Bubsty|P]][[User:Nikolce Kocovski|e]][[User:Trendy Totebag|o]][[User:Has Matt?|p]][[User:Bubyman|l]][[User:Seriously|e]][[User:NOT_Billy_Bob_Bob|']][[User:Young Roy|s]] cool people list.
+
-
*I finally say sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick. (The hardest tongue twister ever)
+
-
* Created the [[Contacts]] page
+
-
* Created the page "[[Wigs]]"
+
-
* Created the page "[[Spam]]"
+
-
* Created the page for the holiday short "[[Costume Commercial]]"
+
-
* Uploaded [[:Image:Costumecommercial.PNG|an image]] that was featured on the Main Page.
+
-
=Cool stuff=
+
"Oh, of course this waist is the only one I've got with ribbons in it," she asserted irrelevantly. "But I'm perfectly willing to trade it for that picture!" she pointed out with unmistakably explicit finger-tip.
-
Find more weird stuff [http://www.ripleys.com here.]
+
-
==Misspelled words==
+
Chucklingly Zillah Forsyth withdrew the special photograph from its half-completed wrappings.
-
Hi, can you raed tihs if you can yuor werid beocasue thsee wrods aner't sepleld rgiht. cool, ins't it?
+
-
==Color Facts==
+
"Oh! Him?" she said. "Oh, that's a chap I met on the train last summer. He's a brakeman or something. He's a--"
-
*If you're in a red car you're more likely to crash!
+
-
*If you're in a white car you're more likely not to crash!
+
-
*If you're on a team wearing a red uniform you're more likely to win!
+
-
==Facts==
+
Perfectly unreluctantly Rae Malgregor dropped the fluff of lace and ribbons into Zillah's lap and reached out with cheerful voraciousness to annex the young man's picture to her somewhat bleak possessions. "Oh, I don't care a rap who he is," she interrupted briskly. "But he's sort of cute-looking, and I've got an empty frame at home just that odd size, and Mother's crazy for a new picture to stick up over the kitchen mantelpiece. She gets so tired of seeing nothing but the faces of people she knows all about."
-
*It is impossible to lick your elbow. (For most people)
+
-
*A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.
+
-
*A shrimp's heart is in its head.  
+
-
*In a study of 200,000 ostriches, over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.
+
-
*It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
+
-
*A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
+
-
*More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.
+
-
*Horses can't vomit.  
+
-
*The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
+
-
*If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
+
-
*If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
+
-
*If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.
+
-
*Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.
+
-
*Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.  
+
-
*There's such thing as Bed Bugs.
+
-
*75% of people who read these facts will try to lick their elbow.
+
-
*Jellyfish don't have a heart or brain.
+
-
<!---------------------------------------------------------------Accomplishments------->
+
-
<!---------------------------------------------------------------QUESTIONS!-------------------------------------------------------------------->
+
-
== My "sibbie" song ==
+
Sharply Zillah Forsyth turned and stared up into the younger girl's face, and found no guile to whet her stare against.
-
This is a song about sib-bie!<br>
+
-
Sibbie is a person I think.<br>
+
-
Sibbie likes Milk.<br>
+
-
Oh wait She's lactose intolerant.<br>
+
-
Sibbie
+
-
= Questions =
+
"Well of all the ridiculous--unmitigated greenhorns!" she began. "Well--is that all you wanted him for? Why, I supposed you wanted to write to him! Why, I supposed--"
-
<!-- No don't edit -->
+
-
These people liked my sig with the picture:                             
+
-
#{{User:The thing/sig}}
+
For the first time an expression not altogether dollish darkened across Rae Malgregor's garishly juvenile blondeness.
-
#{{User:Has Matt?/sig}}
+
-
#{{User:Teh_Frossty_One/sig}}
+
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#[[User:Bluebry muffin|Bluebry muffin]]
+
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#{{User:Marth 99/sig}}
+
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#{{User:Benol/sig}}
+
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#{{User:Darth Katana X/sig}}
+
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#{{User:Homsarroks/sig}}
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#{{User:Neo jimmy6/sig}}
+
-
#{{User:Unme93/sig}}
+
-
These people didn't:
+
"Maybe I'm not quite as green as you think I am!" she flared up stormily. With this sharp flaring-up every single individual pulse in her body seemed to jerk itself suddenly into conscious activity again like the soft, plushy pound-pound-pound of a whole stocking-footed regiment of pain descending single file upon her for her hysterical undoing. "Maybe I've had a good deal more experience than you give me credit for!" she hastened excitedly to explain. "I tell you--I tell you I've been engaged!" she blurted forth with a bitter sort of triumph.
-
#{{User:Bubsty/sig}}
+
With a palpable flicker of interest Zillah Forsyth looked back across her shoulder. "Engaged? How many times?" she asked quite bluntly.
-
#{{User:Bubyman/sig}}
+
-
#{{User:The 386/sig}}
+
-
#{{User:Salty/sig}}
+
-
These people have seen the Andy Milonakis show:
+
As though the whole monogamous groundwork of civilization was threatened by the question, Rae Malgregor's hands went clutching at her breast. "Why, once!" she gasped. "Why, once!"
-
#{{User:The thing/sig}}
+
Convulsively Zillah Forsyth began to rock herself to and fro. "Oh Lordy!" she chuckled. "Oh Lordy, Lordy! Why I've been engaged four times just this past year!" In a sudden passion of fastidiousness she bent down over the particular photograph in her hand and snatching at a handkerchief began to rub diligently at a small smouch of dust in one corner of the cardboard. Something in the effort of rubbing seemed to jerk her small round chin into almost angular prominence. "And before I'm through," she added, at least two notes below her usual alto tones, "And before I'm through--I'm going to get engaged to--every profession that there is on the surface of the globe!" Quite helplessly the thin paper skin of the photograph peeled off in company with the smouch of dust. "And when I marry," she ejaculated fiercely, "and when I marry--I'm going to marry a man who will take me to every place that there is--on the surface of the globe! And after that--!"
-
#{{User:Teh_Frossty_One/sig}}
+
-
#{{User:Benol/sig}}
+
-
These people have not:
+
"After what?" interrogated a brand new voice from the doorway.
-
 
+
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#{{User:Homsarroks/sig}}
+
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+
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=[http://www.editthis.info/guestbook/index.php/Main_Page Guestbook]=
+
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[http://www.editthis.info/guestbook/index.php/Main_Page Click here to sign!] (Maybe not. I think you broke it.)
+
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+
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+
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+
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<!--------------------------------------------------------------E-MAIL SONG! ----------------------------------------------------->
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-
 
+
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== E-mail song!==
+
-
<font color=White>
+
-
<blockquote class="lappy email"><div>Subject: E-mail beginning songs</div>
+
-
Some e-mail beginning songs
+
-
 
+
-
Example:
+
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*''Singing'' "The e-mail is the place-to-gooooooo!" {{User:The thing/sig}}
+
-
*''talking'' "E-mail you need to be check'd" {{User:Random person/sig}}
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-
 
+
-
<span style="color:#888;text-decoration: blink">_</span>
+
-
</blockquote>
+
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</font>
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+
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* ''Singing'' "The eeeeeeee-maiiiiiiiil is aw................some! (drum-roll) Yea!" --{{User:The thing/sig}}
+
-
* ''Talking'' "Hello? Can email hear me?" --{{User:The 386/sig}} 17:11, 22 January 2006 (UTC)
+
-
* "Rapping" "Ee-mail, it's the place to be.  Come and check the email - with me."  --[[User:Powered by The Kate|Powered by The Kate]] 23:21, 25 January 2006 (UTC)
+
-
*''singing to the tune of "Centerfield"''-"Put me in coach, I'm ready to play, today, look at me, I can check, my e-mail!"--{{User:SupremeRulerOfSBadia/sig}} 21:36, 2 February 2006 (UTC)
+
-
*''singing'' Do-doot! Do-doot, email...Or did I? {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 21:13, 12 February 2006 (UTC)
+
-
*''{screaming, waving hands in air and bashing head on keyboard}'' &mdash; '''''EEEMMMAAAIIILLL!!! EEEEEMMMMMAAAAAIIIIILLLLL!!!!! EEEEEEEEMMMMMMMAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH&mdash;!!!!!!!''''' ''{passes out and falls off stool}'' {{User:The Chort/sig}} 15:01, 11 March 2006 (UTC)
+
-
<!-----------------------------------------------------------------------COOL PEOPLE!--------------------------------------------->
+
-
 
+
-
=Cool People=
+
-
*[[User:BazookaJoe|BazookaJoe]] <small>(I love your comic! I see it every time I chew bubblegum!)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Benol|Benol]] <small>(Benol?)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Bkmlb|Bkmlb]] <small>(Hmmm... Bkmlb stands for... '''B'''e '''K'''ool '''M'''y '''L'''ittle  '''B'''ean)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Bluebry|Bluebry]] <small>(Strawbry)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Bubsty|Bubsty]] <small>(Your room is a Bubsty!!)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Cheatachu72|Cheatachu72]] <small>(I CHOOSE YOU CHEATACHU!)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Color Printer|Color Printer]] <small>(I just have the lousy B&W printer.)</small>
+
-
*[[User:DBK|DBK]] <small>('''D'''ark '''B'''ags '''K'''ill)</small>
+
-
*[[User:E.L. Cool|E.L. Cool]] <small>('''E'''ggplants and  '''L'''imes are '''Cool''')</small>
+
-
*<s>[[User:H*Bad|H*Bad]] <small>(H*Good)</small></s>
+
-
*[[User:Has_Matt%3F|Has Matt?]] <small>(Has you a Matt, Matt?)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Homestramy20|Homestaramy20]] <small>(Yes)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Homsarroks|Homsarroks]] <small>(Strong Bad Roks!)</small>
+
-
*[[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] <small>(It's dot tk. [http://www.TheThingy.tk Seriously])</small>
+
-
*[[User:JoeyDay|Joey Day]] <small>(All you did was MAKE the wiki. This wiki doesn't need you! Or... wait... yes it does.)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Nckinfn04|Nckinfn04]] <small>(I can never memorize that username. I forgot it already.)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Nikolce Kocovski|Nikolce Kocovski]] <small>(I can't pronounce you.)</small>
+
-
*[[User:NOT Billy Bob Bob|NOT Billy Bob Bob]] ([[User:The thing#NOT Billy Bob Bob|Bye]])</small>
+
-
*[[User:Ooy|Ooy]] <small>(Ooy???)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Powered by The Kate|Powered by The Kate]] <small>(The Kate? The Thing.)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Pureblade|Pureblade]] <small>(You blade is so pure.)</small>
+
-
*[[User:RFalcon|RFalcon]] <small>(Red Falcon! Rocky Falcon! Rude Falcon! I could just go on and on.)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Salty|Salty]] <small>(Can I eat you?)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Sam the Man|Sam the Man]] <small>(Sam the Woman)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Sir_Strong_Bad|<font color=black>User:Sir Strong Bad</font>]] '''You are cool. Stop. Yes you are. Stop.'''
+
-
*[[User:Stux|Stux]] <small>(Stux sux... err...)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Super Martyo Brother|Super Martyo Brother]] <small>(Coming Soon for Wii...)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Teh_Frossty_One|Teh Frossty One]] <small>(Teh? TEH? TTEEHH?????)</small>
+
-
*[[User:The 386|The 386]] <small>(The 47564594769)</small>
+
-
*[[User:The Chort|The Chort]] <small>(All this time I taught you were only ''a'' chort, but you ''the'' chort!)</small>
+
-
*[[User:The Paper|The Paper]] <small>(Why did you die?)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Thesmokingmonkey|Thesmokingmonkey]] <small>(:-O)</small>
+
-
*[[User:Trendy Totebag|Trendy Totebag]] <small>(Your Trendy... even if you are a totebag.)</small>
+
-
 
+
-
<!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------EXTENAL LINKS!---------------------------------->
+
-
 
+
-
=External links=
+
-
* [http://www.mindistortion.tv/iwantyoursoul/?i_am=the%20thing%202 I will steal your soul!] '''Always stolen sole!'''
+
-
* [http://www.mindistortion.tv/sub/?x=gniht%20ehT%20ma%20I Subliminal message] <!-- This is pretty cool. -->
+
-
* [http://www.tmbw.net/wiki/index.php/User:The_thing Me on the TMBG wiki]
+
-
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:The.thing Me on Wikipedia]
+
-
* [http://nickelodeon.wikicities.com/wiki/User:The_Thing Me on the Nickelodeon wiki]
+
-
* [http://doom.wikicities.com/wiki/User:The_Thing Me on the doom wiki]
+
-
* [http://www.wikicities.com/wiki/User:The_Thing Me on Wiki cities]
+
-
* [http://hrwooky.wikicities.com/wiki/User:Homestar Me on the Homestar parody wiki] '''On wheels!'''
+
-
* [http://ebwiki.spoonybard.com/index.php?title=User:The_thing Me on the Eskimo Bob wiki]
+
-
* [http://www.jellob.com/wiki/index.php?title=User:The_thing Me on the jellob wiki!!!!!! Yay!!!!] '''Gone!'''<small>([http://nwfcwiki.org/index.php/User:The_thing Redirect])</small>
+
-
* [http://www.bswiki.com/index.php/User:The_thing Me on The Bonus Stage wiki]
+
-
* [http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:The_thing Me on fanstuff]
+
-
* [http://weirdal.wikicities.com/wiki/Main_Page Weird Al wiki] '''([http://www.weirdalforum.com/wiki/index.php Redirect])'''
+
-
* [http://the-thing-2.piczo.com/?cr=4&rfm=y My (dead) website!]
+
-
* [http://www.editthis.info/computer_word_shortcuts/index.php/Main_Page The computer word shortcuts wiki] '''Example''': Laughing is lol
+
-
* [http://www.editthis.info/computer_word_shortcuts/index.php/User:The_thing Me on The computer word shortcuts wiki]
+
-
* [http://www.editthis.info/LOST/index.php/User:LOST_fan Me on the LOST wiki] '''([http://lostpedia.com/wiki/User:LOST_fan Redirect])'''
+
-
* [http://wiki.videolan.org/index.php/User:The_thing Me on the VideoLAN wiki]
+
-
* [http://www.ssrc.org/wiki/POSA/index.php?title=User:The_thing Me on the SSRC wiki]
+
-
* [http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:LOST_fan Me on Wikimeta]
+
-
* [http://www.kilroy.x10hosting.com/index.php?title=User:The_thing Me on the Kilroy wiki]
+
-
* [http://www.editthis.info/guestbook/index.php/User:The_thing Me on my Guestbook wiki]
+
-
* [http://www.editthis.info/seriously2/index.php/User:The_thing Me on Will's wiki]
+
-
* [http://www.editthis.info/efilms/index.php/User:The_thing Me on The Efilms wiki]
+
-
* [http://www.thethingyrocks.com/ My New Website]
+
-
 
+
-
 
+
-
 
+
-
<!------------------------------------------------------------- FUNNY LINKS! --------------------------------------------------->
+
-
== Funny links ==
+
-
If you know anything that makes you crack-up, put it on my talk page. Please note some of these may not work anymore.
+
-
 
+
-
* [http://www.boreme.com/boreme/media-pictures/i-helicopter-hair.jpg Helicopter hair]
+
-
* [http://allowe.cillix.nl/Humor/video/MonkeyPee.mpeg Monkey doing...] '''WARNING:''' May be inappropriate.
+
-
* [http://static.flickr.com/13/15614770_cddbf5d5a7_m.jpg (Mystery 1)]
+
-
* [http://oldenburg.typepad.com/time/images/badhairday.jpg (Mystery 2)]
+
-
* [http://myhome.iolfree.ie/~www.damnfunny.ie/curry%20fart.jpg (Last Mystery.)]
+
-
* [http://www.teamdaddy.com/quicktime/halloween_big.mov Big Halloween]
+
-
* [http://www.vimeo.com/clip=7136 Monkey falls off tree because...]
+
-
* [http://www.allfunnypictures.com/images2/bigburger.jpg Big guy big burger]
+
-
* [http://www.allfunnypictures.com/images2/dogbox.jpg Dog in Box.]
+
-
* [http://www.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew/funny/miserable_cat.jpg In sink]
+
-
* [http://petsblog.ratlover.net/images/charlotte/apr05/042605_1.jpg Click it]
+
-
* [http://picture.funnyjunk.com/pics2/real_chicken_sandwhich.jpg A chicken sandwich]
+
-
* [http://picture.funnyjunk.com/pics2/football_baby.jpg Footbabyball]
+
-
* [http://media1.funnyjunk.com/pics2/sniper.jpg Bad kitty!]
+
-
* [http://picture.funnyjunk.com/pics2/0135.jpg Sesemie street gone bad!]
+
-
* [http://www.allfunnypictures.com/pages/funnycats_m.html Video of cat]
+
-
* [http://x12.putfile.com/11/32419532196.gif (Sorry one more mystery.)]
+
-
* [http://x12.putfile.com/11/32617225831.gif Some weird guy dancing]
+
-
* [http://x12.putfile.com/11/32616564593.gif Spiderman Dancing]
+
-
* [http://www.cs.unc.edu/~helser/cropped1/gray2.jpg <b>Cat:</b> Got milk?]
+
-
* [http://x12.putfile.com/11/32415550756.gif Bad kitty 2]
+
-
* [http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/37999930/1222517 From doug]
+
-
* [http://x11.putfile.com/10/30321124944.gif Food channel]
+
-
* [http://x12.putfile.com/11/32620593982.gif Ouff]
+
-
* [http://x1.putfile.com/10/27415232922.gif Bad computer
+
-
* [http://x1.putfile.com/10/27421321987.gif BREAK THE WALL!]
+
-
* [http://x10.putfile.com/10/28919251211.gif Star wiki wars (I don't know why I even said thet.)<br> (It's a mystery.)]
+
-
* [http://picture.funnyjunk.com/pics2/0266.jpg What do YOU do in your spare time?]
+
-
* [http://www.freewebs.com/angelbear23/madelines%20love.png I think this is John Stamos...]
+
-
* [http://home.earthlink.net/~bharms/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/picachupoop.gif Picachu poop] '''WARNING:''' May be in inappropriate.
+
-
* [http://home.earthlink.net/~bharms/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/llsprite3.gif Pwa ha ha]
+
-
* [http://www.realbeer.com/edu/images/japan-front.jpg fdghsfdhdlgxdfhgufd]
+
-
* [http://www.circamusic.com/samples2/ChunkGetsShot.gif Chunk <small>(From "The goonies)</small> gets shot]
+
-
* [http://ewokrave.ytmnd.com/ Wookey dance]
+
-
* [http://ewoklaugh.ytmnd.com/ Wookey laugh]
+
-
* [http://pi.ytmnd.com/ 3.14 is a little longer than you thought...]
+
-
* [http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/396532/pickle.jpg Pickle]
+
-
* [http://www.bobborden.com/diary/pickle.jpg Pickle 2]
+
-
* [http://images.thisislondon.co.uk/v2/news/biscuitmanPA070305_450x310.jpg Crach test nugget]
+
-
* [http://jovan.ru/pics2/kittens/blargh.jpg Cheeta]
+
-
* [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8079411349144989883 Matrix ping pong]
+
-
* [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4057591681481453187 Cat herd]
+
-
* [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7836547273687836884&q=hamster Hamster]
+
-
* [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2472939609435805830&q=Homestar HOMESTAR!]
+
-
* [http://www.orlyowls.com/submit/images/oblarg.jpg oblarg]
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* [http://spongebobsubmarine.ytmnd.com/ Spongebob]
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* [http://www.orlyowls.com/?p=9 This]
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* [http://weirdal.ytmnd.com/ Weird al]
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* [http://www.disloyal.org/videos/561/reallifesimpsons.html Real Life Simpsons]
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* [http://www.thepeon.com/link.php?l=endoftheworld The End of the World as we Know It] '''WARNING:''' May be inappropriate.
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* [http://www.thepeon.com/link.php?l=familyguybreakfast Family Guy Presents: The Breakfast Machine]
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* [http://i3.tinypic.com/wa140i.jpg Baers]
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* [http://pictureserver.funnyjunk.com/pics2/whatthe.jpg What The?]
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* [http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/cf1bd5bb06.jpg What you will look like when you grow up]
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* [http://www.valleyviewdogs.com/images/spoodles/Spoodle-Alexia-08.jpg Nice Doggy]
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* [http://www.ape-o-naut.org/canopydwellers/images/goofball.jpg Goofball]
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* [http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/07/images/060705-mouse-frog_big.jpg Frouse]
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* [http://www.hilarious-pictures.com/files/picture/54927894.jpg Glamerouse Cat]
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* [http://www.goofyphotos.com/fun/dogtounge.jpg Dog TTOOUUNNGG]
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* [http://www.goofyphotos.com/1/catnip.htm Laughing Cat]
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* [http://www.orlyowl.com/upload/files/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!orly_gyuri_ati.jpg ORLY? YA RLY!]
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* [http://pictureserver.funnyjunk.com/pics2/chippy.jpg ATTACK!!]
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= Cool person of the week =
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#<s><small>[[User:Bubsty|Bubsty]] Bye Bubsty!</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Bubsty|Bubsty]] Bye Bubsty!</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:DBK|D.B.K.]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:NOT Billy Bob Bob|NOT Billy Bob Bob]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Powered by The Kate|Powered by The Kate]] and [[User:Has_Matt%3F|Has Matt?]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Bluebry muffin|Bluebry muffin]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:NOT Billy Bob Bob|NOT Billy Bob Bob]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Nckinfn04|Nckinfr04]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Benol|Benol]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:JoeyDay|Joey Day]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>The repair guy that fixed my computer!</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Has_Matt%3F|Has Matt?]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Bluebry muffin|Bluebry muffin]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Bub|Bub]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:The Paper|The Paper]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Color Printer|Color Printer]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:BazookaJoe|BazookaJoe]]</small></s>
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#<s><small>[[User:Stux|Stux]]</small></s>
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<!-------------------------------------------------- OBJECT OF THE WEEK! ---------------------------------------------------->
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=== Picture of the month ===
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Mondays and other random times.<br />
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[[Image:Image.PNG]]<br />
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None
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= Bye =
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===NOT Billy Bob Bob===
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Bye [[User:NOT Billy Bob Bob|NOT Billy Bob Bob]], I will remember you. You are on my cool people list. I look forward to you coming back sometime.
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{{User:The thing/sig2}}
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= WIKI! =
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<div style="margin-top: -3em; padding-top: 1px">
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<p style="margin: 2.5em 0 0em; text-align: center; font-size: 115%; line-height: 1.3">
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Welcome to the  '''The thing Wiki''', the  thing knowledge-base.
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</p>
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<p style="margin: 0 0 1em; text-align:center;">
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We're currently working on [[HR:underconstruction.html|expanding the site]].
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</p>
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<p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align: center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 1em; font-size: 105%;">
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'''Main Favorites:''' [[HR:Main.html|Main]]&nbsp;| [[HR:Toons.html|Toons]]&nbsp;| [[HR:Games.html|Games]]&nbsp;| [[HR:Characters.html|Characters]]&nbsp;| [[HR:sbsite/|Store]]&nbsp;| [[HR:sbemail100.html|Email]]</p>
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{| cellspacing="3"
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|width="50%" class="MainPageKnowledgeBaseBox" style="border: 1px solid #f99; padding: .5em 1em 1em; color: #000000; background-color: #fff3f3"|
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=== Other ===
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<div style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">
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<p style="margin: 0.5em 0 0.5em;"><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">'''Cool People:'''</span> {{User:The thing/sig}} theres my sig and it's a cool person!</p>
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<p style="margin: 0.5em 0 0.5em;"><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">'''umm...:'''</span> I'm very very very cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
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=== This week's featured article ===
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[[Image:shield.png|25px]]<br/>
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<br/>
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<br/>
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'''The thing''' is the owner of [http://www.thethingyrocks.com/ TheThingyRocks.com] and he is very cool! The thing is also a thing. Above is a picture trying to be a pictue.
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<div align="right" class="noprint">'''[[HRWiki:Featured article nominations|Nominate an article]]''' &middot; '''[[HRWiki:Featured articles|More featured articles...]]'''</div>
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=== What's new? ===
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''Recent updates to the official The-thing.net site.''<br/>
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'''August 08, 2009'''<br/>
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It's August 8.
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<br/>
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<br/>
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'''December 11, 2008'''<br/>
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SNOW DAY'D!
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<br/>
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<br/>
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'''April 2, 2008'''<br/>
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I'm baaaaack!
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<br/>
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'''March 11-13 , 2006'''<br/>
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The internet doesn't work at my house!!
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<br/>
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<br/>
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'''March 7, 2006'''<br/>
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User:Seriosly (Did I spell it right?) leaves for a couple days.
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<br/>
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<br/>
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'''February 18, 2006'''<br/>
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[[User:NOT Billy Bob Bob|NOT Billy Bob Bob]] leaves.
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<br/>
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<br/>
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'''January 31, 2006'''<br/>
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I leave the wiki then come back I will not be on as much.
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<br/>
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<br/>
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'''January 25, 2006'''<br/>
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No more guestbooks. :-(
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<br/>
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<br/>
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'''January 26, 2006'''<br/>
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Start clearing up page.
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<div align="right" class="noprint">
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'''[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:The_thing&action=history More wiki.the-thing.net updates...]'''
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</div>
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|}
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<div style="border: 1px solid #ffad80; padding: .5em 1em; color: #000; background-color: #fff7cb; margin: 3px 3px 0; text-align: center">Hey! Check out [http://www.thethingyrocks.com/ my real website!]</div>
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<div class="boilerplate metadata toccolours" id="cleanup-rewrite" style="margin: .5em 2%; padding: 0 1em; border: 1px solid #aaa;">
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This user is awesome. If you do not feel that this user is awesome, please say so and give your reasons why on its [[:{{NAMESPACE}} talk:{{PAGENAME}}|talk page]].
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</div>
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<includeonly>[[Category:Awesome users|{{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>
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= Other <font color=white>the</font> things =
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===Users that left===
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# [[User:The thing|The thing]] (I'll be back)
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===Users that will leave===
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===Users that left forever===
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#[[User:NOT Billy Bob Bob]]
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===Users that left and came back===
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#[[User:Homestramy20]]
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#[[User:Bubsty]]
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<center>Check out that number below!</center>
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Revision as of 20:31, 1 April 2011

The White Linen Nurse was so tired that her noble expression ached.

Incidentally her head ached and her shoulders ached and her lungs ached and the ankle-bones of both feet ached quite excruciatingly. But nothing of her felt permanently incapacitated except her noble expression. Like a strip of lip-colored lead suspended from her poor little nose by two tugging wire-gray wrinkles her persistently conscientious sickroom smile seemed to be whanging aimlessly against her front teeth. The sensation certainly was very unpleasant.

Looking back thus on the three spine-curving, chest-cramping, foot-twinging, ether-scented years of her hospital training, it dawned on the White Linen Nurse very suddenly that nothing of her ever had felt permanently incapacitated except her noble expression!

Impulsively she sprang for the prim white mirror that capped her prim white bureau and stood staring up into her own entrancing, bright-colored Novia Scotian reflection with tense and unwonted interest.

Except for the unmistakable smirk which fatigue had clawed into her plastic young mouth-lines there was certainly nothing special the matter with what she saw.

"Perfectly good face!" she attested judicially with no more than common courtesy to her progenitors. "Perfectly good and tidy looking face! If only--if only--" her breath caught a trifle. "If only--it didn't look so disgustingly noble and--hygienic--and dollish!"

All along the back of her neck little sharp prickly pains began suddenly to sting and burn.

"Silly--simpering--pink and white puppet!" she scolded squintingly, "I'll teach you how to look like a real girl!"

Very threateningly she raised herself to her tiptoes and thrust her glowing, corporeal face right up into the moulten, elusive, quick-silver face in the mirror. Pink for pink, blue for blue, gold for gold, dollish smirk for dollish smirk, the mirror mocked her seething inner fretfulness.

"Why--darn you!" she gasped. "Why--darn you! Why, you looked more human than that when you left the Annapolis Valley three years ago! There were at least--tears in your face then, and--cinders, and--your mother's best advice, and the worry about the mortgage, and--and--the blush of Joe Hazeltine's kiss!"

Furtively with the tip of her index-finger she started to search her imperturbable pink cheek for the spot where Joe Hazeltine's kiss had formerly flamed.

"My hands are all right, anyway!" she acknowledged with infinite relief. Triumphantly she raised both strong, stub-fingered, exaggeratedly executive hands to the level of her childish blue eyes and stood surveying the mirrored effect with ineffable satisfaction. "Why my hands are--dandy!" she gloated. "Why they're perfectly--dandy! Why they're wonderful! Why they're--." Then suddenly and fearfully she gave a shrill little scream. "But they don't go with my silly doll-face!" she cried. "Why, they don't! They don't! They go with the Senior Surgeon's scowling Heidelberg eyes! They go with the Senior Surgeon's grim gray jaw! They go with the--! Oh! what shall I do? What shall I do?"

Dizzily, with her stubby finger-tips prodded deep into every jaded facial muscle that she could compass, she staggered towards the air, and dropping down into the first friendly chair that bumped against her knees, sat staring blankly out across the monotonous city roofs that flanked her open window,--trying very, very hard for the first time in her life, to consider the General-Phenomenon-of-Being-a-Trained-Nurse.

All around and about her, inexorable as anesthesia, horrid as the hush of tomb or public library, lurked the painfully unmistakable sense of institutional restraint. Mournfully to her ear from some remote kitcheny region of pots and pans a browsing spoon tinkled forth from time to time with soft-muffled resonance. Up and down every clammy white corridor innumerable young feet, born to prance and stamp, were creeping stealthily to and fro in rubber-heeled whispers. Along the somber fire-escape just below her windowsill, like a covey of snubbed doves, six or eight of her classmates were cooing and crooning together with excessive caution concerning the imminent graduation exercises that were to take place at eight o'clock that very evening. Beyond her dreariest ken of muffled voices, beyond her dingiest vista of slate and brick, on a far faint hillside, a far faint streak of April green went roaming jocundly skyward. Altogether sluggishly, as though her nostrils were plugged with warm velvet, the smell of spring and ether and scorched mutton-chops filtered in and out, in and out, in and out, of her abnormally jaded senses.

Taken all in all it was not a propitious afternoon for any girl as tired and as pretty as the White Linen Nurse to be considering the general phenomenon of anything--except April!

In the real country, they tell me, where the Young Spring runs wild and bare as a nymph through every dull brown wood and hay-gray meadow, the blasé farmer-lad will not even lift his eyes from the plow to watch the pinkness of her passing. But here in the prudish brick-minded city where the Young Spring at her friskiest is nothing more audacious than a sweltering, winter-swathed madcap, who has impishly essayed some fine morning to tiptoe down street in her soft, sloozily, green, silk-stockinged feet, the whole hob-nailed population reels back aghast and agrin before the most innocent flash of the rogue's green-veiled toes. And then, suddenly snatching off its own cumbersome winter foot-habits, goes chasing madly after her, in its own prankish, vari-colored socks.

Now the White Linen Nurse's socks were black, and cotton at that, a combination incontestably sedate. And the White Linen Nurse had waded barefoot through too many posied country pastures to experience any ordinary city thrill over the sight of a single blade of grass pushing scarily through a crack in the pavement, or puny, concrete-strangled maple tree flushing wanly to the smoky sky. Indeed for three hustling, square-toed, rubber-heeled city years the White Linen Nurse had never even stopped to notice whether the season was flavored with frost or thunder. But now, unexplainably, just at the end of it all, sitting innocently there at her own prim little bed-room window, staring innocently out across indomitable roof-tops,--with the crackle of glory and diplomas already ringing in her ears,--she heard, instead, for the first time in her life, the gaily dare-devil voice of the spring, a hoydenish challenge flung back at her, leaf-green, from the crest of a winter-scarred hill.

"Hello, White Linen Nurse!" screamed the saucy city spring. "Hello, White Linen Nurse! Take off your homely starched collar! Or your silly candy-box cap! Or any other thing that feels maddeningly artificial! And come out! And be very wild!"

Like a puppy dog cocking its head towards some strange, unfamiliar sound, the White Linen Nurse cocked her head towards the lure of the green-crested hill. Still wrestling conscientiously with the General-Phenomenon-of-Being-a-Trained-Nurse she found her collar suddenly very tight, the tiny cap inexpressibly heavy and vexatious. Timidly she removed the collar--and found that the removal did not rest her in the slightest. Equally timidly she removed the cap--and found that even that removal did not rest her in the slightest. Then very, very slowly, but very, very permeatingly and completely, it dawned on the White Linen Nurse that never while eyes were blue, and hair gold, and lips red, would she ever find rest again until she had removed her noble expression!

With a jerk that started the pulses in her temples throbbing like two toothaches she straightened up in her chair. All along the back of her neck the little blonde curls began to crisp very ticklingly at their roots.

Still staring worriedly out over the old city's slate-gray head to that inciting prance of green across the farthest horizon she felt her whole being kindle to an indescribable passion of revolt against all Hushed Places. Seething with fatigue, smoldering with ennui, she experienced suddenly a wild, almost incontrollable impulse to sing, to shout, to scream from the housetops, to mock somebody, to defy everybody, to break laws, dishes, heads,--anything in fact that would break with a crash! And then at last, over the hills and far away, with all the outraged world at her heels, to run! And run! And run! And run! And run! And laugh! Till her feet raveled out! And her lungs burst! And there was nothing more left of her at all,--ever--ever--any more!

Discordantly into this rapturously pagan vision of pranks and posies broke one of her room-mates all awhiff with ether, awhirr with starch.

Instantly with the first creak of the door-handle the White Linen Nurse was on her feet, breathless, resentful, grotesquely defiant.

"Get out of here, Zillah Forsyth!" she cried furiously. "Get out of here--quick!--and leave me alone! I want to think!"

Perfectly serenely the newcomer advanced into the room. With her pale, ivory-tinted cheeks, her great limpid brown eyes, her soft dark hair parted madonna-like across her beautiful brow, her whole face was like some exquisite, composite picture of all the saints of history. Her voice also was amazingly tranquil.

"Oh, Fudge!" she drawled. "What's eating you, Rae Malgregor? I won't either get out! It's my room just as much as it is yours! And Helene's just as much as it is ours! And besides," she added more briskly, "it's four o'clock now, and with graduation at eight and the dance afterwards, if we don't get our stuff packed up now, when in thunder shall we get it done?" Quite irrelevantly she began to laugh. Her laugh was perceptibly shriller than her speaking voice. "Say, Rae!" she confided. "That minister I nursed through pneumonia last winter wants me to pose as 'Sanctity' for a stained-glass window in his new church! Isn't he the softie?"

"Shall--you--do--it?" quizzed Rae Malgregor a trifle tensely.

"Shall I do it?" mocked the newcomer. "Well, you just watch me! Four mornings a week in June--at full week's wages? Fresh Easter lilies every day? White silk angel-robes? All the high-souls and high-paints kowtowing around me? Why it would be more fun than a box of monkeys! Sure I'll do it!"

Expeditiously as she spoke the newcomer reached up for the framed motto over her own ample mirror and yanking it down with one single tug began to busy herself adroitly with a snarl in the picture-cord. Like a withe of willow yearning over a brook her slender figure curved to the task. Very scintillatingly the afternoon light seemed to brighten suddenly across her lap. _You'll Be a Long Time Dead!_ glinted the motto through its sun-dazzled glass.

Still panting with excitement, still bristling with resentment, Rae Malgregor stood surveying the intrusion and the intruder. A dozen impertinent speeches were rioting in her mind. Twice her mouth opened and shut before she finally achieved the particular opprobrium that completely satisfied her.

"Bah! You look like a--Trained Nurse!" she blurted forth at last with hysterical triumph.

"So do you!" said the newcomer amiably.

With a little gasp of dismay Rae Malgregor sprang suddenly forward. Her eyes were flooded with tears.

"Why, that's just exactly what's the matter with me!" she cried. "My face is all worn out trying to look like a Trained Nurse! Oh, Zillah, how do you know you were meant to be a Trained Nurse? How does anybody know? Oh, Zillah! Save me! Save me!"

Languorously Zillah Forsyth looked up from her work, and laughed. Her laugh was like the accidental tinkle of sleighbells in mid-summer, vaguely disquieting, a shiver of frost across the face of a lily.

"Save you from what, you great big overgrown, tow-headed doll-baby?" she questioned blandly. "For Heaven's sake, the only thing you need is to go back to whatever toy-shop you came from and get a new head. What in Creation's the matter with you lately, anyway? Oh, of course, you've had rotten luck this past month, but what of it? That's the trouble with you country girls. You haven't got any stamina."

With slow, shuffling-footed astonishment Rae Malgregor stepped out into the center of the room. "Country girls," she repeated blankly. "Why, you're a country girl yourself!"

"I _am_ not!" snapped Zillah Forsyth. "I'll have you understand that there are nine thousand people in the town I come from--and not a rube among them. Why I tended soda fountain in the swellest drug-store there a whole year before I even thought of taking up nursing. And I wasn't as green--when I was six months old--as you are now!"

Slowly with a soft-snuggling sigh of contentment she raised her slim white fingers to coax her dusky hair a little looser, a little farther down, a little more madonna-like across her sweet, mild forehead, then snatching out abruptly at a convenient shirt-waist began with extraordinary skill to apply its dangly lace sleeves as a protective bandage for the delicate glass-faced motto still in her lap, placed the completed parcel with inordinate scientific precision in the exact corner of her packing-box, and then went on very diligently, very zealously, to strip the men's photographs from the mirror on her bureau. There were twenty-seven photographs in all, and for each one she had already cut and prepared a small square of perfectly fresh, perfectly immaculate white tissue wrapping-paper. No one so transcendently fastidious, so exquisitely neat, in all her personal habits had ever trained in that particular hospital before.

Very soberly the doll-faced girl stood watching the men's pleasant paper countenances smooth away one by one into their chaste white veilings, until at last quite without warning she poked an accusing, inquisitive finger directly across Zillah Forsyth's shoulder.

"Zillah!" she demanded peremptorily. "All the year I've wanted to know! All the year every other girl in our class has wanted to know! Where did you ever get that picture of the Senior Surgeon? He never gave it to you in the world! He didn't! He didn't! He's not that kind!"

Deeply into Zillah Forsyth's pale, ascetic cheek dawned a most amazing dimple. "Sort of jarred you girls some, didn't it," she queried, "to see me strutting round with a photo of the Senior Surgeon?" The little cleft in her chin showed suddenly with almost startling distinctness. "Well, seeing it's you," she grinned, "and the year's all over, and there's nobody left that I can worry about it any more, I don't mind telling you in the least that I--bought it out of a photographer's show-case! There! Are you satisfied now?"

With easy nonchalance she picked up the picture in question and scrutinized it shrewdly.

"Lord! What a face!" she attested. "Nothing but granite! Hack him with a knife and he wouldn't bleed but just chip off into pebbles!" With exaggerated contempt she shrugged her supple shoulders. "Bah! How I hate a man like that! There's no fun in him!" A little abruptly she turned and thrust the photograph into Rae Malgregor's hand. "You can have it if you want to," she said. "I'll trade it to you for that lace corset-cover of yours!"

Like water dripping through a sieve the photograph slid through Rae Malgregor's frightened fingers. With nervous apology she stooped and picked it up again and held it gingerly by one remotest corner. Her eyes were quite wide with horror.

"Oh, of course I'd like the--picture, well enough," she stammered. "But it wouldn't seem--exactly respectful to--to trade it for a corset-cover."

"Oh, very well," drawled Zillah Forsyth. "Tear it up then!"

Expeditiously with frank, non-sentimental fingers Rae Malgregor tore the tough cardboard across, and again across, and once again across, and threw the conglomerate fragments into the waste-basket. And her expression all the time was no more, no less, than the expression of a person who would infinitely rather execute his own pet dog or cat than risk the possible bungling of an outsider. Then like a small child trotting with infinite relief to its own doll-house she trotted over to her bureau, extracted the lace corset-cover, and came back with it in her hand to lean across Zillah Forsyth's shoulder again and watch the men's faces go slipping off into oblivion. Once again, abruptly without warning, she halted the process with a breathless exclamation.

"Oh, of course this waist is the only one I've got with ribbons in it," she asserted irrelevantly. "But I'm perfectly willing to trade it for that picture!" she pointed out with unmistakably explicit finger-tip.

Chucklingly Zillah Forsyth withdrew the special photograph from its half-completed wrappings.

"Oh! Him?" she said. "Oh, that's a chap I met on the train last summer. He's a brakeman or something. He's a--"

Perfectly unreluctantly Rae Malgregor dropped the fluff of lace and ribbons into Zillah's lap and reached out with cheerful voraciousness to annex the young man's picture to her somewhat bleak possessions. "Oh, I don't care a rap who he is," she interrupted briskly. "But he's sort of cute-looking, and I've got an empty frame at home just that odd size, and Mother's crazy for a new picture to stick up over the kitchen mantelpiece. She gets so tired of seeing nothing but the faces of people she knows all about."

Sharply Zillah Forsyth turned and stared up into the younger girl's face, and found no guile to whet her stare against.

"Well of all the ridiculous--unmitigated greenhorns!" she began. "Well--is that all you wanted him for? Why, I supposed you wanted to write to him! Why, I supposed--"

For the first time an expression not altogether dollish darkened across Rae Malgregor's garishly juvenile blondeness.

"Maybe I'm not quite as green as you think I am!" she flared up stormily. With this sharp flaring-up every single individual pulse in her body seemed to jerk itself suddenly into conscious activity again like the soft, plushy pound-pound-pound of a whole stocking-footed regiment of pain descending single file upon her for her hysterical undoing. "Maybe I've had a good deal more experience than you give me credit for!" she hastened excitedly to explain. "I tell you--I tell you I've been engaged!" she blurted forth with a bitter sort of triumph.

With a palpable flicker of interest Zillah Forsyth looked back across her shoulder. "Engaged? How many times?" she asked quite bluntly.

As though the whole monogamous groundwork of civilization was threatened by the question, Rae Malgregor's hands went clutching at her breast. "Why, once!" she gasped. "Why, once!"

Convulsively Zillah Forsyth began to rock herself to and fro. "Oh Lordy!" she chuckled. "Oh Lordy, Lordy! Why I've been engaged four times just this past year!" In a sudden passion of fastidiousness she bent down over the particular photograph in her hand and snatching at a handkerchief began to rub diligently at a small smouch of dust in one corner of the cardboard. Something in the effort of rubbing seemed to jerk her small round chin into almost angular prominence. "And before I'm through," she added, at least two notes below her usual alto tones, "And before I'm through--I'm going to get engaged to--every profession that there is on the surface of the globe!" Quite helplessly the thin paper skin of the photograph peeled off in company with the smouch of dust. "And when I marry," she ejaculated fiercely, "and when I marry--I'm going to marry a man who will take me to every place that there is--on the surface of the globe! And after that--!"

"After what?" interrogated a brand new voice from the doorway.

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