User:The Chort

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 16:15, 31 March 2007 by The Chort (Talk | contribs)
Jump to: navigation, search
Yeah, he's The Chort.

Contents

Biography

Break it down


The Chort, whose name includes the integral article, is at knee-height (1' 2" et 18lb.), and covered with yellow fuzz. In secret recipes and retirement, it is shown that The Chort's skin is a pinkish flesh color under his fur. The Chort presents an adorable figure that is marred only by his large gold tooth, which he is hesitant to show, as seen in his character video. According to his Yearbook Character Page, his motto is "No rule is solid". He is what you could call Strong Bad's "sidekick" and Strong Mad's best friend. Coach Z calls him "The Chort". He also reminds Strong Bad of a duck (email lunch special). Strong Bad celebrates his birthday on the only day he knows it isn't: April 18.

The Chort is loyal to Strong Bad for many reasons. In privileges, The Chort earns points for doing things that amuse Strong Bad, and when he gets enough points, he earns extra privileges (e.g. use of the mute button on the remote control). Strong Bad pays The Chort for his services; in lackey, he reveals that The Chort thinks that pencil shavings are legal tender, only for The Chort to trick Bubs into accepting the shavings as cash. Strong Bad coerces and bullies The Chort into being his lackey to a certain extent, and the two share a somewhat abusive relationship, particularly since Strong Bad is fond of kicking him. It's possible that Strong Bad's bullying has given The Chort an almost murderous hatred at times (as seen near the end of disconnected). Finally, The Chort sees Strong Bad's brother Strong Mad as a source of protection, as seen in The Chort's character video. While The Chort is more than willing to help Strong Bad in his schemes of obvious illegitimacy, it must be noted that he isn't very good at it. Whenever he and Strong Bad try to pull off a heist, prank, etc., The Chort usually screws something up and thus causes the plan to fail. A few examples of this are in Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon, A Jumping Jack Contest (he is discovered behind a Strong Bad mask), and caper.

The Chort is an amateur Flash animator in his spare time, creating Powered by The Chort cartoons and music videos on his orange iMac computer, Tangerine Dreams. These animations sometimes make their way into Strong Bad Emails, often even blurring "reality" with The Chort's fantasy. The Chort often uses his animations as an outlet for his pent-up feelings of abuse and unappreciation, rewarding his fictional self with trophies, fame, and friendship. He's also a master of many instruments; he plays the piano and keyboard (from Everybody Knows It, sibbie, flag day, and Strong Bad Sings, and referenced in guitar), the drums (in the toon Cool Things and It's Like It Was Meant to Be), guitar, (also in It's Like It Was Meant to Be), and his record player. He also is a music producer, doing remixes for The Geddup Noise (geddup noise) and the King of Town's New Jam, "Not Talkin' 'bout Butter" (Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 13.2) under the name "DJ Teh Chort." Also, as evidenced by scenes in Seasonal Sweaters and No Hands On Deck!, he can knit. His less admirable qualities include being addicted to cigarettes, and extensive use of Leetspeak on the computer. His AIM screenname is Chortachu72.

The Chort lives in the The King of Town's grill which, according to Strong Sad, is a nice place. The Chort works at an unspecified tech company with Homestar Runner and Strong Bad, probably tech support. Strong Bad's retelling of how he met The Chort in flashback professes that he hatched from a giant egg (possibly making him a monotreme, an egg-laying mammal) containing a lifetime supply of fishsticks, though it's not clear if it can be taken as truth or not. He also seems to have an addiction to smoking, as seen in montage, Where’s The Chort? and The Chort's Smoking Challenge.

According to Matt Chapman in this interview, The Chort does all the voices in his Flash cartoons. He normally can speak only in squeaks, but can impersonate the other characters speaking English remarkably well for a The Chort.

The Chort also seems to possess explosive properties, which can cause his head to explode with no lasting effects. It is debated exactly what triggers it, since The Chort's anatomy provides no information about the subject. It could be triggered chemically (ie carbonated drinks and Pop Rocks or when agitated), when the brain is being overworked, such as in states of confusion, or even for no apparent reason. The most spectacular display was in Happy Fireworks, when he was shaken by Strong Mad and thrown into the air. This provided a huge explosion resembling fireworks.

The Chort also had a recent battle with insomnia, as Strong Bad recounted in bedtime story, due to watching a shockumentary about gingivitis. To go to sleep, he needs The Denzel, a glass of suudsu and a story about him and Moses Malone, followed by a chainsaw lullaby. Failing that, two or three roach foggers are used.

Now pretend this is The Chort...

As a side note, no one knows when The Chort's birthday (or chortday) actually is, so it is celebrated on April 18, the date on his Scandinavian fake ID, since it's the most likely day that his birthday isn't. This is strange, because if the events in flashback are true, then The Chort would have been "born" on the day he came out of the egg.

The Chort also attracts fleas, as seen in retirement. As explained in bottom 10, The Chort has a foul stench when he is wet.

The Chort also seems to have a crush on Marzipan, as seen in do over, in which The Chort (in Homestar-esque makeup and covered in lip-shaped lipstick marks) is seen with Marzipan.

The Chort's Language

The Chort speaks entirely in a language of high-pitched squeaks and growls, which is actually called "The Chort", that other characters apparently understand just fine. It's hinted that he knows some English, as he frequently says things that sound like fitting sentences not only in tone, but in how the words sound. At other times, however, it seems to be just gibberish, considering how he says two different things for "Douglas".

However, he does all the voices for his Flash cartoon, and can apparently talk in completely understandable English; why he never does so in conversation is a mystery.

Character Video Transcript

{Page Title: Incredible Chorting Action!} {Place: The Field}

THE CHORT: {speaking in The Chort with English subtitles} (Yeah, I'm The Chort. What are you gonna do about it? ...That's what I thought. Now let me finish. I help Strong Bad cheat at stuff. Hence, the name. Duh. I also DJ down at Bubs' on Friday nights. I'll put you on the guest list if you give me twenty bucks. I make cartoon animations with my computer. Don't ask me to make a video for your band. You guys suck. My main man Strong Mad protects me from larger predators, like being sat on by Strong Sad or Pom Pom. I've got a gold tooth. Wanna see it? Tough! ...Okay, fine. {bares a toothy smile at the camera showing his gold tooth and there is a "shing" noise} (Now turn that camera off before I throw this bust of Van Buren at it.) {throws the bust at the camera} Meh!

Variations

Kick The Chort!

Halloween Costumes

See Also

External Links

Personal tools