User:NoMayonnaise

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Ptoooo...

Nothing much to write home about. I've known and loved HomestarRunner.com since 2003. The first HS cartoon I ever saw was Fluffy Puff Commercial, and after that I was hooked. My favorite character is Homestar. That's about it.

Favorite quotes include:

  • Stinkoman: WHAAAT is this? Some sort of a challenge buried in the GROOOUUND??


  • Little Girl: That sounds like funny!
    Puppet Homestar: That sounds like funny, but it's not.


  • Homestar: Um... I don't know what any of that means. But I will make use of your complimentary spit-bucket. Ach-tpoo!


  • Homestar: Hey, crapface. Why don't you blow it out your ear?


  • Homestar: Yeah. You stay over there.


  • Strong Bad: Um, no, from what I can tell, you wear no pants and have blue soles glued to the bottoms of your feet.
    Homestar: [shocked] Well, that's simply not true. I have long pants, I wear long pants. I'm a long pants man, long pants, long pants!
    Strong Bad: Okay, calm down. I didn't mean to...
    Homestar: [convulsing on Strong Bad] Long pants, Strong Bad! The longest pants! Everybody, everybody! Longest pants! Long, long, long, long, long, long pants!
    Strong Bad: Ah, that's it! We need to get you some serious clown care, man.
    Homestar: [clearly upset] But I was told long pants! Long pants! They said long pants! Always long pants!
    [He leans in toward Strong Bad]
    Homestar: Long, my pants! Gleaming pants! Glorious pants!
    [after a beat, Homestar zips away, leaving his pants behind]


  • Homestar: [crying] Looooong paaaants!
    Marzipan: Awww, there, there, Homestar. It's not so bad. Everyone thinks I'm a broom.
    Homestar: [surprised and upset] You're not a broom?


  • Homestar: I say there, monstrosity, do you know the times?


  • Strong Bad: Oh The Cheat. Where did we go wrong? It seems only yesterday we were setting fire to Strong Sad's underdrawers.
    Strong Sad: [off screen] That was yesterday!


  • Strong Bad: I say there, Homestar, butt's twelve by pies?
    Homestar: Oh, yes, I got Strong Bad to say something stupid!


  • Homestar: Oh... I look like... the elephant man.
    Mike: Homestar, you look the way you always do.
    Homestar: ...What are you saying, Mike?


  • [Invisible Strong Bad approaches with a stack of swiss cake rolls]
    Homestar: Oh hey, guys.
    [Invisible Strong Bad punches him in the gut]
    Homestar: Owww. Those things are bad for you.


  • Homestar: Lies! All lies! Clearly I'm the only one who remembers how it all went down. It was not so long ago that I was in Strong Bad's basement spitting Teddy Grahams all over the place. One of them got stuck to the ceiling.
    Strong Bad: Homestar, shut up! This is about that patch on the couch. It's clearly already on there in your flashback!
    Homestar: Oh, oh, ohhhhh. I thought this week's e-mail was entitled "Teddy Graham Memories."


  • Coach Z: I meant to tell you the sock on the head was a nice touch.
    Homestar: [incredulous] I have a sock on my head? GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF.


  • Strong Sad: Strong Bad's right. I'm a waste of space.
    Strong Bad: [in background] I said you were a waste of FAT space!


  • Homestar: Strong Bad, I don't think you're going to be able to answer your word problem this week. So I'll take one for the team. Two trains enter a tunnel going four miles per hour. At what time do they reach Poughkeepsie?


  • [At the Teen Girl Squad's school]
    Intercom: And lunch today will be a breadtangle of pizza. Don't forget the battle of the bands this Friday. Tompkins, point your rear end in the direction of the principal's office.


  • [even though Strong Bad hates to hug trees, Homestar has somehow gotten him to hug one]
    Homestar: Keep on huggin' it.
    Strong Bad: How did you get me to do this in the first place?
    Homestar: Hug it! Hug it!
    Strong Bad: And why do I continue to do it?
    Homestar: Keep on huggin' it. Hug it down.
    Strong Bad: I don't even like this tree that much.


  • Strong Bad: [having failed to do some push-ups] Maybe I need to start working out.
    Homestar: [dressed as an aerobics instructor] Boy, I'll say you do.
    [he does aerobics]
    Homestar: One, two, and flex your pecs! Give it eight more! And five! Twees it out! C'mon, y'all! Just twees it out!
    Strong Bad: Twees it out?
    Homestar: [showing off his rear] Your buttweesimo! We're gonna mold that twees into the Iron Sheik!
    [He glances toward Strong Bad's "twees" and resumes his aerobics]
    Homestar: Just six more now! Eight and four! Shake it freely, twees it out!
    Strong Bad: Yeah, cool. I'm gonna go ahead and ask that you never say "twees it out" ever again.


  • Stinkoman: Man, oh, man-o! Who would've thought that giving thanks was such a formidable challenge? [Triumphant pose] Hey wait, that's it!
    [Charges up, and suddenly gets incredibly muscular. Small rocks float up off the ground, and the level 1 music plays dimly in the background.]
    Stinkoman: Whoooaaa, making small rocks float up off the GRRROOOOOUUUUUUUUND!
    [As Stinkoman returns to normal, the level 2 cutscene music plays, again dimly in the background, and a pilgrim's hat appears on his head with a ding!]
    Stinkoman: I'm thankful that my hat is wearing a belt!


  • [Strong Bad runs up to Strong Sad and starts yelling rhyming gibberish at him while doing a strange dance.]
    Strong Bad: Jor Jee Jibbera Jaw! Huppidda Roopja Oop Jup Jaw! Ooka Oog—
    [Strong Sad begins talking over him.]
    Strong Sad: Quit that!
    Strong Bad: Ooka Reetoo Taw!
    Strong Sad: You're freakin' me out.
    Strong Bad: [pauses shortly, then continues] Eeckoo Ickoo Ickoo Slaw! Hooka Hoo Ha!
    Strong Sad: Did you take some of my pills again?


  • [Cut to the basement with Strong Bad and Bubs and a cardboard box with Strong Sad drawn on it sitting on the couch.]
    Strong Bad: Strong Sad's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?
    Bubs: Kick him in the teeth!
    Strong Bad: That's good, that's good, even though he might not have any teeth. What else?
    Bubs: Kick him in the grill!
    Strong Bad: Yeah, yeah! Keep going!
    Bubs: [turns to face Strong Bad] Kick you in the grill!
    [Bubs starts to approach Strong Bad, waving his arms and yelling menacingly]
    Strong Bad: [nervously] No, no, Bubs, calm down, this is only a drill!


  • Homestar Runner: [Talking to the animatronic, as Strong Bad walks past in the background] Look, Strong Bad, I haven't been playing this game of hide n' seek for six weeks just to have you poor-sportsmanship all over the place now! Why, I've got half a mind.
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