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The title given to this article is incorrect due to technical limitations. The correct title is election day.


Strong Bad Email #206
watch videography too cool

Strong Bad runs for public office.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Tire, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad, The Cheat

Places: Computer Room, Strong Badia

Computer: Compé

Date: Thursday, April 1, 2010

Running Time: 3:19

Page Title: Compy Compé

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Email email time again, I say it's email email ti-ime... again!

{Strong Bad reads the closing as "Not gonna read that, Bobuk, Miss Jackson".}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Whoa! A beauty pageant winner is talking to me! {clears screen, suavely:} So, Miss Jackson, you want to know about the government of Strong Badia, do you? {speaks normally} Well, first of all, Strong Badia is a tyranny of the majority lorded over by an elected figurehead: the Empresiking. Every thirty years, the people of Strong Badia choose their puppet leader in a not-so-anonymous ballot! {clears screen} And guess when the next election is? Bet you can't guess! Give up? Okay, I'll tell you: it's right around the corner! Bet you never guessed, huh? In fact, there's a debate later today! {suavely again} So, anyway, Miss Jackson? Will you join me? Can I {short pause} count on your vote?

{Cut to Strong Badia. Strong Bad, wearing a hat colored similarly to the Strong Badian national flag, behind a podium that reads "BAD/CHEAT 2010".}

STRONG BAD: My opponent claims I steal money from orphans! My opponent claims I kick my running mate on a regular basis! My opponent claims that I gave him a noogie and poured oatmeal down his pants! But I ask you, people of Strong Badia, have I ever claimed otherwise? Hasn't my platform always been about stealing money, kicking The Cheats, and giving noogies?

{Cut to behind Strong Bad, who is now silhouetted. The Tire makes up the entire "audience".}

STRONG BAD: Isn't that what the people of Strong Badia want? Don't you want Strong Bad to remain Empresiking for three more decades? Vote for Strong Bad, and I promise you MORE noogies, MORE kicks, and MORE oatmeal down the pants of losers!

{Cut to Homestar Runner, who is holding a microphone.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes, thank you, Bad Cheat. {turning around} And you! {angrily} What do you have to say for yourself?

{Cut back a bit to show Homestar standing between the two candidates. Strong Bad is to his right. To his left is Strong Sad, standing behind a "Strong Sad for Empresiking" podium.}

STRONG SAD: Only that I can give the voters what they really want: lower taxes, more rights for radials, fewer painful pranks, better handwriting...

{Cut to a close-up of Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Right, right, no one cares. {turns back around to Strong Bad} So, don't you have an awesome video?

{Cut to all three characters.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, right! Hey, Vice Empresiking The Cheat! Let her roll!

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises from offscreen}

{The scene starts to dim slowly. A projection screen drops from above.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {whispering} So, when do I get my fifteen bucks?

STRONG BAD: {whispering} Not yet, not yet! Wait until after I win!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {whispering} Oh, right, right. {turns to Strong Sad} So, when do I get my fifteen bucks?

STRONG BAD: Shut up! It's starting!

{Cut to a closeup of the screen. Homestar's silhouette can be seen over the bottom as the video plays in Powered By The Cheat style. Strong Bad sits in a chair.}

STRONG BAD: {in his Powered By The Cheat voice} Don't you want a world with trees and Strong Bad?

{Cut to a picture of The Cheat with very large eyes.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Don't you want to give Johnny here the love he deserves?

THE CHEAT: {blinks his eyes, makes a The Cheat noise}

{Cut to a picture of Strong Sad with fangs and a goatee. He's ripping apart a picture of the Strong Badian national flag.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Do you want to lose the flag to flag-ripping loser elephant men?

{Cut back to Strong Bad. The Cheat walks up to him, clipping the top of the table incorrectly}

STRONG BAD: Of course you not. So vote for Strong Bad and The Cheat, 2010! Or we'll dump oatmeal down your pants again!

THE CHEAT: {blinks his eyes, makes a The Cheat noise}

{The screen cuts to an image of the actual Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: {in his regular voice} I'm Strong Bad, and I approve of the use of oatmeal-related force on my opponents. Vote for me! Do it now!!

{The scene brightens and the screen disappears. Cut to a closeup of Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sniffling} That... was the most touching thing I've ever seen. {to Strong Sad} Your rebuttal?

{Cut to Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD: Well, I...

{Cut to Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, that's enough.

{Cut to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that's enough campaigning. We vote now! {looks straight forward} So, voting populace of Strong Badia, if you want my dorky brother to be Empresiking, please say so now.

{Cut to a closeup of the tire. Crickets chirp for a few seconds. Cut back to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: {triumphantly, throws his hat into the air} It's unanimous! I win! I win!

{The hat lands back on Strong Bad's head, only upside-down. Homestar leans in.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad, you've won the Super Bowl! What are you going to do now?

STRONG BAD: Well, I think I'm going to thrust your head into my podium!

{He does so.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oof! Yaaaay!

{Cut to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Oh, this is a mockery of the democratic process! I demand a recount! Count the chads!

{The Cheat shows up with a bowl of oatmeal.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG SAD: Oooooh! {runs off}

{Cut back to the Compé. Strong Bad sits down in front of it, still wearing his campaigning hat upside-down.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So that's how the democratic process in Strong Badia works! And now you know! And knowing is half the fun! {stops typing} Wow, I'd better get to work on my platform for the next election. Can't start too soon, you know.

{He gets up and walks off. The Virtual Paper appears, with a check box before the words and a green check mark in it.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "tyranny of the majority" after Strong Bad types it to see a cartoony image of the Tire broken into two unequal pieces, each with a face, arms, and legs. The larger piece is kicking the smaller piece. The caption reads "The Tire-ny of the Majority!"
  • At the end, click on "democratic process" to see a scene from the next election. A "lace-lifted" Strong Bad appears behind a podium that reads "BAD/CHEAT 2040".
STRONG BAD: {his speech distorted and subtitled} More noogies, more kicking The Cheats, more yogurt from a tube!
  • At the end, click on "fun" to see more of the "election".
STRONG BAD: And if you wish to vote for me, say so now!
{Cut to Homestar Runner in his "Poppy the Tire" costume.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Me! Me! ME! {pauses for a moment, then whispering:} So, when do I get my fifteen bucks?

Fun Facts

Remarks

  • Strong Bad's podium does not include the Integral Article on The Cheat's name. However, since Strong Bad is only listed as "Bad", this may imply that "Cheat" is The Cheat's last name.
  • It is claimed that Strong Bad pours oatmeal down people's Pants, including Strong Sad, who doesn't wear any.
  • The scene dims out even though the debate is outdoors, and the screen drops from nowhere.
  • Strong Bad's title, "Empresiking", is a portmanteau of "emperor", "president", and "king".

Inside References

Real-World References

  • Homestar says that Strong Bad won the "Super Bowl". The Super Bowl is the final game of a season of American football. It is customary to ask the star player of the winning team, "What are you going to do now?" after the Super Bowl, similarly to Homestar's question.
  • Strong Sad asking to "count the chads" is in reference to the controversial 2000 American election.
  • Strong Bad's line, "Knowing is half the fun", is based on a catchprase in G.I. Joe, "Knowing is half the battle."

External Links

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Subtitles