the next april fools thing
From Homestar Runner Wiki
(→Inside References: Is "Easter" capitalized in this context? Also, should it be, "It is implied that Strong Sad is playing Clapping Party"? Should it be, "Strong sad is playing Clapping Party"?) |
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[[Category:April Fools]] | [[Category:April Fools]] | ||
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Revision as of 19:53, 1 April 2018
| Toon Category: Holiday Toon |
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A little girl suggests the next April Fools joke.
Cast (in order of appearance): A little girl, Bubs, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Marzipan, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Homsar, The Poopsmith, Pom Pom, The King of Town, Stinkoman
Places (in order of appearance): The Field, Computer Room, Locker Room, Strong Mad's Room, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Bubs' Concession Stand
Computer: Lappier
Date: Sunday, April 1, 2018
Running Time: 7:30 (official), 6:52 (actual), 7:07 (YouTube)
Page Title: How Long Does it Load Again?
Contents |
Transcript
{The scene opens in the Field. An oddly-drawn little girl, with a blue face, yellow dress, and red hair in pigtails, walks up and looks toward the camera. When she speaks, it's in a very high-pitched voice.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: Ee! For the next April Fools' thing, why don't they next do, like, there's a picnic...
{A rolled-up picnic blanket appears and unrolls itself.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: ...and there's like... and there's a bunch of food in it...
{An apple, a sandwich, a bag of "CH'P", a second sandwich, and a pie appear on the blanket.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: ...and a picnic basket...
{All the food moves together and a basket appears around it.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: ...and... {considers} then Bubs is like...
{Bubs appears next to the basket.}
THE LITTLE GIRL and BUBS: {both waving their arms} Picnic! Picnic! Picnic!
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then Homestar shows up and says "blah!"
{Homestar walks up.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Blah!
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then Strong Bad shows up and says "blah!"
{Strong Bad flies in from over the bushes in the background and lands on the blanket.}
STRONG BAD: Blah!
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then everybody shows up and says "blah!"
{The camera cuts back a little to show all the other main characters standing nearby.}
ALL BUT LITTLE GIRL, BUBS, HOMESTAR, STRONG BAD, and THE POOPSMITH: Blah!
{Cut back in so those characters are offscreen. Homestar and Strong Bad are not present any longer.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then Bubs is like "I'm closing the shop! Nobody's buying... picnic!"
{Bubs disappears into the basket, and the blanket rolls up around the basket and disappears.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then, and then, and then there's a loading sign...
{Scene cuts to a loading screen. The letters of "loading" grown and shrink in sequence.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: {voiceover} ...and it loads for, like, one hundred seconds, and then, and then... and...
{A timer appears under the "loading sign" and counts the seconds.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: {voiceover, apparently unsure how to continue} ...and it loads for one hundred seconds, and... and then it's like... and... and then it... and then... and then it's like... It loads for one hundred seconds! And then... and then it's like...
{As the timer reaches "00:25", abrupt cut to the computer room. Strong Bad is in front of the Lappier.}
STRONG BAD: {rhythmically} If I can't check my email, then how I'm supposed to live my life? {brings up an email} Dingle dongle...
Dear Strong Bad,
what do you do to keep up your personal
motivation and inspiration?
Sincerely, Mollie B.
{Strong Bad reads the greeting as "Dear Stringle Bongle".}
STRONG BAD: Oh, that is a waste of a perfectly good middle "B" initial, Mollie! Lemme fix that for ya! {edits the name to:} Sincerely, Mollie B. Chowdwerworth Gruelmanger. You know, of the Puntington Farms Gruelmangers. {moves his cursor down next to the prompt} There we go. {typing} For motivation, I do what any great coach does, and berate myself until I get results or until I quit the team and press charges!
{Cut to the locker room, as Strong Bad shouts into a mirror:}
STRONG BAD: Chowderworth Gruelmanger?! You call that an overly-complicated old-timey last name?! That is bush-league, son! I am sick and tired of this crap! And I'm sick of losing to Purdue!
{Cut back to show Coach Z standing nearby, twirling a jock strap.}
COACH Z: Now that fella really knows how to mortavortaportion.
{Cut back to the Lappier}
STRONG BAD: {typing} There's also that weird jocked-up thing of punching yourself in the face to get motivated. But unless you happen to have boxing gloves for hands, I wouldn't recommend it.
{Cut to Strong Mad sitting at a table next to a glass of orange juice.}
STRONG MAD: YOU CAN DO IT, STRONG MAD. {pounds the table} YOU CAN TALK TO ORANGE JUICE!
{He winds up his right fist, aimed at himself. Strong Bad leans in.}
STRONG BAD: No, Strong Mad, wait—
{Strong Mad punches himself in the face and falls offscreen. Strong Bad winces as he lands. Cut back to the Lappier.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} But if you can afford it, no force is more motivational than...spiky ceiling that closes in on you!
{Cut to the basement of the Bros. Strong. Strong Sad is holding a video game controller and looking panicked, as Strong Bad coaches him and a spiky ceiling slowly descends over them.}
STRONG BAD: You better beat this end boss or we're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!
STRONG SAD: {frantically hitting buttons} Aah! It keeps making me jump when I'm not pressing juuuuuuump!!
STRONG BAD: Or we're all gonna diiiiiii—
{Cut back to the Lappier}
STRONG BAD: {typing} As for the inspirasche, you know how people always say, "inspiration sneaks up on you." Well, I like-a to turn the tables!
{Cut to Bubs in his Concession Stand, waving his arms back and forth. Strong Bad tiptoes behind it.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I sneak up on people and force them to inspire me!
{Strong Bad peeks around the side of the Stand.}
BUBS: We'll I'll just continue doing what I was just doing, and...
{Strong Bad jumps out in front of Bubs.}
STRONG BAD: INSPIRE ME!
BUBS: Aaah! Mlg-leg boats!
{Strong Bad lowers his eyelids, unimpressed.}
STRONG BAD: Leg boats? That all ya got?
BUBS: Er, yeah! It's like a little boat that your legs go inside of!
STRONG BAD: So it's a kayak.
BUBS: No, no. For while you're standing up.
STRONG BAD: So it's water skis.
BUBS: Yeah, yeah. 'Cept it's called "leg boats".
STRONG BAD: That's not inspiring! {starts to walk off} Guess I'll just walk away and {quickly jumps back. Rapidly:} No I'm not just kidding INSPIRE ME!
BUBS: Aaah! File!
STRONG BAD: Yeah?
BUBS: Um... folder...
STRONG BAD: Yeeeeah?
BUBS: ...shaped vitamins?
STRONG BAD: Now that's inspiring!
{Cut to a bottle of "Smarty Juice File Folder Shaped Vitamins".}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Yes, File Folder Shaped Vitamins: because office workers lead hollow lives, and this is the kind of thing they'd be into.
{A few "vitamins" appear. Despite Strong Bad's tagline, a different tagline appears under the bottle: "Great for the break room or maybe a desk drawer!" Cut back to the Lappier.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} You see Madam Chowdygruel, if you know the right techniques, you too can motivate and inspire gimmicky white-collar products that they sell in the checkout line at the office supply store. Oooh! Which just inspired me to think of {an ad moves into the screen, over Strong Bad, showing an ad for the vitamins and, next to it, an ad for "File Folder Shaped Vitamin Shaped Thumbdrive!!", with a picture of a USB thumb drive that looks like the red vitamins} File Folder Shaped Vitamin Shaped Thumbdrives! Available in never show up on your desktop {text is added underneath the drive reading "*Never show up on your desktop"} and some-the-times show up on your desktop {another purple thumb drive appears with text reading "*Some-the-times show up on your desktop"} varieties!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Always be'sing and do'sing!
{Cut to the computer room, showing Homestar sitting on a rock next to Strong Bad's desk, turned away from Strong Bad.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Never cheesing or choosing! Always be'sing and do'sing!
STRONG BAD: Er... Homestar?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Never cheesing or choosing!
STRONG BAD: Homestar!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {looking back at Strong Bad} Yeah, what?
STRONG BAD: You're in my house.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {nodding} Yup.
STRONG BAD: Again.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeppers.
STRONG BAD: Aaand you brought a boulder.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Not me. Plate tectonics.
STRONG BAD: {jumping up} What are you doin' in here, man?!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. {swings his legs around to face Strong Bad} Well, I heard you talking about motivation and inspiration, and I decided to brush off my old ABD's!
STRONG BAD: Umm, Allowed But Deadly?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You don't know about the ABD's, Strong Bad?
{Several seconds pass as some white noise plays.}
STRONG BAD: {whispering, aside} I'm just gonna stay silent in the hope that you won't tell me what it means.
{The noise stops and instructional music starts as Homestar brings down a screen that reads "The ABC's of the ABD's: Always Be'sing & Do'sing".}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Always be'sing and do'sing!
STRONG BAD: You say that like it clarified anything.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Words for an inspired life, Strong Bad. No matter what you do, or where you are, {stomps with each word} always be's be'sing and do'sing.
STRONG BAD: So you started a cult.
{music stops}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, kinda. For instance, I am currently be'sing on this boulder {lifts his legs and swivels them back and forth} and I am do'sing and ABD workshop with you.
STRONG BAD: {feigning understanding} Oh, okay, then {music re-starts} I am be'sing full of rage, and do'sing a roundhouse kick to your face!
{Strong Bad gets off his stool and jumps toward Homestar, leg outstretched. He stops in midair, though, as Homestar starts speaking, and drops down to the floor.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nooope, nope nope, that was some prime choosing you committed right there. Did you see it?
STRONG BAD: Wait, what's wrong with choosing?!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Cheesing and choosing. The antithesis of be'sing and do'sing. If you're choosing, you're losing.
STRONG BAD: Just because something rhymes doesn't mean it's good life advice!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Awp! And that's a perfect example of cheesing! You're a textbook case, Strong Bad. Textbook! Aaaand speaking of textbooks, don't forget to purchase my new book at the upcoming...
{Cut to a screen that looks to be out of a commercial.}
ANNOUNCER: Always Be's Do'sing—
{Those words appear in the upper left}
ANNOUNCER: —3 Day Life Cleanse Seminar—
{Those words appear in the upper-right}
ANNOUNCER: —at Bubsmfort Inn and Suites Conference Center!
{A logo for Bubsmfort Inn & Suites Conference Center appears at the bottom. It then moves off the bottom of the screen while the words "cheesing" and "choosing take its place}
ANNOUNCER: Rid yourself of damaging cheesing and choosing {red X's appear over those words} with guest speakers—
{The lower words are replaced with silhouettes of Homestar, Bubs, and Strong Bad}
ANNOUNCER: —including Homestar Runner, {Homestar's name appears as he fades in} founder of the totally-not-cult-like—
{A label reading "60% Less Culty" appears over the corner of Homestar's portrait}
ANNOUNCER: —ABD movement!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Changin' attitudes with rhymin' platitudes!
ANNOUNCER: Entrepreneurial be's do'ser, and self-made do's be'ser, Bubs!
{Bubs's name appears as he fades in.}
BUBS: I'm stickin' with leg boats!
{A label reading "Not Kayaks!" appears next to Bubs's portrait.}
ANNOUNCER: And the creator of File Folder Shaped Vitamins and File Folder Shaped Vitamin Thumb Drives, Strong Bad!
{Strong Bad's name appears as he fades in.}
STRONG BAD: I hope the hotel's breakfast bar can do omelettes! {smiles wide, as a label reading "Hungry!" appears over the corner of his portrait}
ANNOUNCER: All this and more at the Always Be's Do'sing 3 Day Life Cleanse Seminar!
{The screen goes out of focus as Homestar pops up over it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: If you're not attending, you're gonna be... {unsure} lending... your neighbor... a... yard tool... like a shovel. Or a rake. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. See you at the conference! ABD! Not a cult! Wooo! {runs offscreen}
{The commercial comes back to focus as the 3D Paper comes down.}
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: C-G-eeow!
{After a few seconds cut back to the "loading" screen, now reading "00:95".}
THE LITTLE GIRL: {voiceover} and... a... and then people might think it's gonna be loading forever...
{The timer hits "00:100" and then immediately cuts back to the girl and Bubs in the field.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: ...and then it's like... {considers} Stinkoman comes up and punches Bubs in the face.
{Stinkoman walks up to Bubs, becomes suddenly muscular, shouts, and punches Bubs into the distance. As he flies off, the words "happy april fools' day" appear.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "DO'SING" after the CGI Paper comes down, but before the loading screen returns, to see an extra scene with Strong Sad.
- {Cut to Strong Sad in the basement, alone, pushing buttons on a game controller. The boulder is visible at the top of the screen, with debris surrounding it.}
- STRONG SAD: Always be'sing and do'sing, and never cheesing or choosing, and always— Hey! I beat the end boss!
- {Clapping Party sounds play.}
- After the Easter egg, it cuts back to the loading screen at 95 seconds.
Fun Facts
Trivia
- The King of Town is wearing the crown from his third design.
Inside References
- The design of the little girl character comes from the DVD exclusive cartoon Why Come Only One Girl?.
- File Folder Shaped Vitamins are under the Smarty Juice brand.
- Homestar's inspirational slogan prominantly features the word "be'sing".
- Strong Sad speaks and twitches his eyes like his hyperactive self.
- The "cow clips" from Hremail 2000 and the Styleron Ecochair from the email the chair are visible in the advertisement.
- In the Easter egg, it is revealed that Strong Sad is playing Clapping Party.
Real-World References
- Homestar's "smawtboud" is a reference to Smart Boards, a brand of interactive electronic whiteboards.
- "Always Be'sing & Do'sing" is a reference to the famous "Always Be Closing" monologue from the beginning of the film Glengarry Glen Ross.
External Links
- watch "the next april fools thing" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "the next april fools thing"
- watch "the next april fools thing" on YouTube
- forum thread re: "the next april fools thing"
| April Fools' Day |
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