That a Ghost

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Dig my grave.

The old-timey characters seek a reward for the capture of a ghost.

Cast (in order of appearance): 1936 Marzipan, The Homestar Runner, Fat Dudley, The Strong Bad, The Sneak, Strong Man, The Guy at the Depot, Sickly Sam, The Ghost

Page Title: Bury me deep I'm cold and clammy!

Contents

Transcript

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER

IN

A "SCARY" CAR-TOON


{Cut to:}

"That A Ghost"

Presented in Grand Old Sound-O-Vision

copyright 1937


{Opens to 1936 Marzipan with a plate of bones on the table}

1936 MARZIPAN: We haven't eaten in weeks!

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Guess what I read in the news-paper today.

1936 MARZIPAN: I can't guess.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: I read that a ghost.

1936 MARZIPAN: You read that a ghost what?

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: I read that a ghost is.

1936 MARZIPAN: You read that a ghost is what?

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: I read that a ghost is here in town and there's a 27 cent reward for its capture.

'FAT DUDLEY: {makes showtune noises}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: You said it Fat Duds. We sure could buy a lot of corn-pone with 27 big ones.

{The conversation is being watched in a telescope; pan to the right of the long telescope, where actually no-one is watching, but The Strong Bad stands nearby reading a paper}

THE STRONG BAD: Says here in the news-papper that the encapturement of the new apparition garners a top reward of 26 and one pennies!

{Cut to The Strong Bad, Strong Man and The Sneak}

THE STRONG BAD: We could buy the monocle off Rockefeller's very eyeball with that kind of cash!

STRONG MAN: Raaar!

{Danger music. Cut to The Homestar Runner, 1936 Marzipan and Fat Dudley in front of a spooky house with a gate signed 'Pietimer'}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Let's check out the old Pietimer place.

1936 MARZIPAN: We should split up.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: We can do more damage that way.

{They walk in. 1936 Marzipan looks under a cup.}

1936 MARZIPAN: Under here?

{The Homestar Runner looks at a bookshelf full of ghost books.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hmm. Let's see. Maybe it's in here.

{He removes a book labelled 'A Goodtime Story', the only book not related to ghosts or monsters. Opening it, a moth flies out.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Just a moth. {He tries to eat the moth, but it flies off.} Dernit!

{1936 Marzipan looks under a plate.}

1936 MARZIPAN: Under here? {Spiders run out.}

{The Homestar Runner walks past two portraits. The one marked 'Mr. Pietimer' follows him with its eyes.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: That picturemadrawin' looks sur-spicious. {He lifts it off the wall, revealing two one-eyed crows with a label reading "The Guys".} It's just two weird one-eyed crows. Ah, phooey.

{Cut to Fat Dudley amidst some barrels, with a cigar and a jug marked 'XXX'. The Homestar Runner pops out of a barrel.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Fat Dudley? Were you gonna sneak a nip of hooch?

'FAT DUDLEY: {makes showtune noises}

{Outside the house again, with the gate behind them.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, there's no ghosts here. Just a bunch of gross aminals. Let's go look somewheres else.

{Cut to 'Cholera Acres Cemetary', then to The Strong Bad and The Sneak in front of Eustice Pietimer's grave (skinflint and junk codger).}

THE STRONG BAD: Listen smoothly, The Sneak! We're sure to catch a ghost once we exhume this grave using my new grave-exhuming invention!

{Cut to Strong Man holding a shovel.}

STRONG MAN: Raaar!

THE STRONG BAD: What what? Why, no! Of course that's not just the Strong Man holding a shovel! It's my newest invention! Besides, the Strong Man's over there doing some manner of stylish jig!

{Cut to Strong Man, who is now doing a stylish jig on an unmarked grave (son of mark grave). The Guy at the Depot's head comes up out of the grave.}

THE GUY AT THE DEPOT: {wheezily} Would you please keep it down?

{Cut to The Homestar Runner, 1936 Marzipan and Fat Dudley in the 'Punkin Patch'.}

1936 MARZIPAN: The Homestar Runner, I'm s-s-s-s-scared!

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Scared of what? Punkins? They're just punkins.

1936 MARZIPAN: But I'm s-s-s-s-S-scared!

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, fine. We'll go look in the graveyard.

1936 MARZIPAN: {smiling} Hooray!

{Cut back to Cholera Acres Cemetary, where they enter, then meet The Strong Bad, Strong Man and The Sneak, who have dug up the grave of Eustice Pietimer.}

THE STRONG BAD: You're too late! The reward will be ours! I'll be marching around in gold pants in no time!

1936 MARZIPAN: Where's the ghost?

THE STRONG BAD: Behold! The fantoustic phantasm!

{Sickly Sam rises out of the grave, and floats above it.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's no ghost. That's just our worst friend Sickly Sam.

SICKLY SAM: I bury myself alive on Tuesdays.

THE STRONG BAD: Criminy crickets! Foiled again!

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Then where's the real ghost?

{A black cloaked ghost with spindly arms fades in, floating above the tombstones.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {eyes bulging} Wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. {his skin falls off, leaving his skeleton}

THE STRONG BAD: Wa-a-a-a-a-a! {his skin also falls off, leaving his skeleton too}

{Cut back to the ghost, which fades away, then to The Homestar Runner and 1936 Marzipan, who is also a skeleton.}

1936 MARZIPAN: At least we'll never go hungry again.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: 'Cept for Fat Dudley. {Cut to skeletal Fat Dudley, who is 'eating' a shoe with a soup spoon, with a jug labelled 'XXX' nearby.} He's livin' the high life!

'FAT DUDLEY: {makes showtune noises}

{Transition accompanied with closing music, to:}

THE END

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on the "D" in "THE END" to see The Strong Bad shopping for gold pants.

Fun Facts

  • List of books on the bookshelf:
    • Zombies Are Cool
    • Ghastly Monsters
    • Banshees, indeed!
    • A Goodtime Story
    • There is a Ghost in This Book
    • Creepiness, Oh My!
    • The Ghost In My Pocket
    • 27 Cent Ghosties
    • The Haunted Jacuzzi
    • Creepy Stories for Toddlers
    • Ghostly Measures
    • Dead Things Book One
  • List of graves in the graveyard:
    • Steakface McGee
    • unmarked grave: son of mark grave
    • Sir Rondello Shmallow: Look Lively?
    • EUSTICE PIETIMER: skinflint and junk codger
  • Sir Rondello Shmallow could be Mr. Shmallow's full name.
  • The Homestar Runner's voice isn't as scratchy and Fat Dudley's voice is deeper than in Parsnips-A-Plenty.
  • The quote "let's split up, we can do more damage that way" is a reference to the 1984 film Ghostbusters.
  • The picture labeled 'Cory' could be a reference to the email cheat talk written by "the citizens of cory".
  • The page title, "Bury Me Deep I'm Cold and Clammy!", is taken from an interview with Matt Chapman in which he says this line as Homsar. The interview can be seen here.
  • The Strong Bad's severely cracked skull at the end could be a reference to Parsnips-A-Plenty, where he falls from a rather high cliff.
  • The sound effect of the spiders scattering from under the mirror is taken from the Skulltulas in the Spider Houses in The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. This sound also appears in RhinoFeeder.
  • The sound that Homestar does while trying to eat the moth is the same that puppet Homestar does while eating popcorn in Labor Dabor.
  • Fat Dudley eating the shoe may be a reference to Charlie Chaplin's The Gold Rush.
  • This is the first toon to be said to be made in 1937.
    • That's because Parsnips-A-Plenty was made in 1936, and one year has passed since it was made.
  • When Marzipan lifts the teacup, the "liquid" in it does not spill.
  • When The Sneak "speaks", he is only wiggling his nose, and not making any sounds.
  • The Strong Man dancing on the grave might be a reference to Dancin' Bubs, where one of the places he can dance is on "your grave".
  • Marzipan's pony tails apparently sport their own spinal columns due to her skeletal visage, as does The Strong Bad's 'stache.
  • The Strong Bad's skeleton shows that his shoes have bones.. or else that his feet are shoe-shaped.. or maybe his feet look like shoes.
  • The Strong Bad's skeleton also has hands that look like his "gentleman's sports gloves", which proves that he doesn't just wear them, those are really what his hands look like. The same would then apply to modern-day Strong Bad's boxing gloves.
  • Marzipan's skeleton also reveals that her "skirt" has its own skeletal structure. This is in agreement with The House that Gave Sucky Treats, where contemporary marzipan wore jeans with a hole near the hem.
  • The two one-eyed crows eyeballs do not match up with the painting after the painting is removed.
  • The graveyard is "Cholera Acres". Cholera is a disease that was really deadly in the Late 19th and early 20th century.
  • When The Homestar Runners eyes balloon up might be a reference to The Cheat in Pumpkin Carve-nival.
  • The screams The Homestar Runner and The Strong Bad make sound disturbingly like the "uuUUAAaauAAaAA" sound Homsar likes to start sentences with. Though likely a coincidence, it's still fun to note.
  • We never see skeletal The Sneak.
  • When The Homestar Runner and The Strong Bad's skin falls off, the same sound when worms come out of Homestar's mouth in Main Page 7 is heard.
  • This only old-timey toon so far that does not have Sickly Sam "dying".

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