Teen Girl Squad Issue 9

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Old man Pitters is looking so good.

When Cheerleader dies, the girls, along with an old man named Mr. Pitters, attempt to re-make themselves as the "Best Friends Squad."

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Mr. Pitters, Learner's Permit Girl, Science Fiction Greg, The Vultures, Port-O-John, Arrow'd Guy, Strong Bad, Tompkins (Easter Egg), Friends Of Science Fiction Greg (Easter Egg), D N'D Greg (Easter Egg)

Date: June 20, 2005

Running Time: 2:05

Page Title: Summatime Style!



NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {screen shows Cheerleader wearing a dress with "sell fish" on the front and "backyard pool!" next to her} So and So! {library!} What's Her Face! {24 hour diner!} The Ugly One! {parking deck?}

CHEERLEADER: Okay my spanish galleons, this summer's gonna be different! Say guh-bye to hanging out next to this old person!

{Mr. Pitters appears on the left hand side of the screen.}

THE UGLY ONE AND MR. PITTERS: Bye old person...

CHEERLEADER: Cuz now I'm best friends with an olda girl what has her LEARNER'S PERMIT!!! {jumps up and down}

MR. PITTERS: {simultaneously} LEARNER'S OINTMENT!!!

WHAT'S HER FACE: I've had my license for a year—

CHEERLEADER: {interrupting} Stop saying words. Here she comes now!

{Learner's permit girl appears and is driving really fast.}

LEARNER'S PERMIT GIRL: 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock!

{The Learner's Permit girl runs over Cheerleader. She dies.}


CHEERLEADER: Owww, my entire life!

{music stops}

SO AND SO: Whoa, Cheerleader's gone.

ALL 3 GIRLS: {music starts} WE'RE FREE!

MR. PITTERS: We're ointment!

THE UGLY ONE: The tyranny is over!!

{So and So reappears in her opening frame...}

SO AND SO: I can overachieve like a bandit!

{...as does What's Her Face, who is thinking of Science-Fiction Greg, with floating hearts...}

WHAT'S HER FACE: I can date science-fiction Greg again!

{...as well as The Ugly One, who looks like a mess, with a pig.}


{...as well as Mr. Pitters, who looks like an old person teen girl, and wears a shirt with "boy toy" on the front, and has two pigtails, like Cheerleader's.}

MR. PITTERS: I can be a teen girl!

{Two vultures appear over him.}

FIRST VULTURE: Ain't no teen girl.

{Cut to a dining room table where the vultures are seen eating Mr. Pitters.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Chomp chomp chomp chomp...

SECOND VULTURE: Quite good, quite good.

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: ...chomp chomp...

{Cut back to the remaining girls}

SO AND SO: You guys, I think this might be the start of a kinder, gentler squad of teen girls.

{Cut to the intro to "Best Friends Squad." The normal music is switched for the Best Friends Squad theme, as sung by Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: A glue stick, some glitter paint, {a "GLOO STICK" is seen on the first part, some "GLITTA PAINT" on the second}
Words cut out from a magazine, {Cut-out words are placed to read "Scrap BOOKS R Scrap TASTIC"}
BFF carved in a tree, {A heart with "BFF" is seen on a tree}
That stands for BAOW! FOM! FROOSH! {We see that The Ugly One carved it with the Big Knife. As Strong Bad says each of the words, something happens to The Ugly One. On "BAOW!", the tree punches her in the face with its branch. On "FOM!", it falls on top of her. On "FROOSH!", it spontaneously combusts.}

A port-o-john came to life, {A port-o-john is shown, a second later a face with a moustache appears on his door.}
Put on a play with So and So. {The port-o-john and So and So are seen on stage. The port-o-john wears a crown and holds a scepter. So and So wears a princess hat.}
Unfortunately, they didn't {So and So pretends to faint, and the port-o-john catches her. They stand up, and Arrow'd Guy appears in the audience.}
Get very good reviews. {Arrow'd Guy throws a spear, which goes through So and So and hits the port-o-john in the face.}

What's Her Face ate Staple Sauce, {What's Her Face is seen next to a giant bottle of "STAPLE SAUCE"}
A heaping bowl of Staple Sauce. {She eats a spoonful of it, and keels over, dead.}
Then crazy Learner's-Permit-Girl {We see her in her car.}
Gave-me-a-ride to Babbage's. {Strong Bad appears on the hood of her car, and then they're seen at Babbage's.}

STRONG BAD: What?! They don't got no Turbografx games?!

{Cut to the ghosts of the girls.}

CHEERLEADER'S GHOST: {Wearing a shirt reading "deady's girl".} Okay, my art galleries, let's get ready to be...

ALL GHOST GIRLS: {Cheerleader says this with her usual enthusiasm; the rest look downhearted.} SO DEAD!!!!

MR. PITTERS' GHOST: {Still dressed as Cheerleader and wearing a shirt with "worm food" on the front.} I look so good.


Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click the "o" to see Sci-Fi Greg brag about how the ladies and Valkyries are all over his experience points.
SCI-FI GREG: I knew she'd come back to me. Ever since my experience points went into triple digits I've had to keep the ladies and valkyries off with a 2 handed plus 3 broad sword.
D N'D GREG: {leaning in from the left} Hey! Quit bitin my style!
  • Also at the end, click the "!" to see the "Over Achiever" strike Tompkins' homework.
TOMPKINS: {holding a piece of paper with mathematical symbols on it, graded "A+++++"} Hey! Who did the rest of my pre-algebra homework?
SO AND SO: {leaning in from the right, wearing a Lone Ranger mask and a hankerchief over her mouth} The Over-Achiever Bandit strikes again!!!

Fun Facts


  • Although Strong Bad says BFF stands for BAOW! FOM! FROOSH!, the acronym usually stands for "Best Friends Forever."
  • Sci-fi Greg's speech in the Easter Egg uses terminology from Dungeons and Dragons, or "D&D", which is why D N'D Greg accuses him of "bitin' my style."
  • In America, a learner's permit is granted by some states to drivers as young as fourteen. When drivers have a permit, they must be accompanied by a licensed driver.
  • A galleon was a large, multi-decked sailing ship used primarily by the nations of Europe from the 16th to 18th centuries.
  • For many years, American teenagers were taught in Driver's Education class that the proper position for hands on the steering wheel was ten o'clock for the left hand and two o'clock for the right.
  • According to Norse Mythology, Valkyries were fierce warrior-women who would swoop down on a battlefield, carrying away fallen warriors to Valhalla.


  • The song Strong Bad sings in this episode has him singing the lowest note of all the musical interludes he performs on H*R.com (low C, below the bass clef).


  • Vultures do not actively kill animals to feed, as implied with Mr. Pitters, but usually wait for the animal in question to die of other causes before feeding.
  • In this issue, Strong Bad secretly inserted a "crap." The word "scraptastic" is pasted together with an S, the word "crap," and "tastic."
  • Generally speaking, American teenagers get a driver's license at about sixteen years of age. Given the fact that she's had a driver's license for a year, it appears that What's Her Face is at least seventeen years old.
  • This cartoon has neither an "Again" nor a "Back" link at the end.
  • This is the first Teen Girl Squad comic in which Strong Bad appears outside of an Easter egg.
  • Strong Bad usually does the voices for Teen Girl Squad toons, but the vultures, Mr. Pitters, and the two Gregs sound nothing like Strong Bad or Strong Bad imitating the voices.

Inside References

  • Mr. Pitters's last line, "I look so good," is Cheerleader's last line in Teen Girl Squad Issue 1.
  • Inside Babbage's is a sign that appears to offer Cheap as Free software, although it is partially obscured.
  • Mr. Pitters' obsession with ointment is a running gag.
  • The phrases Cheerleader uses to address the Squad, "my Spanish galleons" and "my art galleries", are an extension of the phrase used in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad, "my gallies."

Real-World References

  • Now known as GameStop, Babbage's, along with Software, Etc. and FuncoLand, were popular chains of software stores. There are some Babbage's stores still in business today, while some of the stores merely changed names.
  • The TurboGrafx 16 was a video game console released by NEC in 1989, for the North American market. It did not sell well, in part owing to the unavailability of game titles compared to its competitors.
  • The "Johnny Rite There" label on the Port-O-John is a reference to Johnny On The Spot, Inc., a major US manufacturer and distributor of same.

External Links

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