Teen Girl Squad Issue 9
From Homestar Runner Wiki
When Cheerleader dies, the girls, along with an old man named Mr. Pitters, attempt to re-make themselves as the "Best Friends Squad."
Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Mr. Pitters, Learner's Permit Girl, The Man with the Huge Mouth, Science Fiction Greg, Strong Bad, Tompkins (Easter Egg)
Date: June 20, 2005
Running Time: 2:05
Page Title: Summatime Style!
Contents |
Transcript
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {screen shows Cheerleader, with "backyard pool!" next to her} So and So! {library!} What's Her Face! {24 hour diner!} The Ugly One! {parking deck?}
CHEERLEADER: Okay my spanish galleons, this summer's gonna be different! Say guh-bye to hanging out next to this old person!
{Mr. Pitters appears on the left hand side of the screen.}
THE UGLY ONE AND MR. PITTERS: Bye old person...
CHEERLEADER: Cuz now i'm best friends with an olda girl what has her LEARNER'S PERMIT!!!
SO AND SO & THE UGLY ONE: LEARNER'S PERMIT!!!
MR. PITTERS: {simultaneously} LEARNER'S OINTMENT!!!
WHAT'S HER FACE: I've had my license for a year-
CHEERLEADER: Stop saying words. here she comes now!
{Learner's permit girl appeaers and is driving really fast.}
LEARNER'S PERMIT GIRL: 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock!
{The Learners' Permit girl runs over Cheerleader. She dies.}
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: DRIVER'S ED'ED...DEAD
CHEERLEADER: Owww, my entire life!
SO AND SO: Whoa, Cheerleader's gone.
ALL 3 GIRLS: WE'RE FREE!
MR. PITTERS: We're ointment!
THE UGLY ONE: The tyranny is over!!
{So and So reappears in her opening frame...}
SO AND SO: I can overachieve like a bandit!
{...as does What's Her Face, who is thinking of Science-Fiction Greg...}
WHAT'S HER FACE: I can date science-fiction Greg again!
{...as well as the ugly one...who looks like a mess.}
THE UGLY ONE: I can stop showering!!!!
{...as well as Mr. Pitters...who looks like an old person teen girl, and wears a shirt with "boy toy" on the front.}
MR. PITTERS: I can be a teen girl!
{Two vultures appear over him.}
FIRST VULTURE: Ain't no teen girl.
{Cut to a dining room table where the vultures are seen eating Mr. Pitters.}
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Chomp chomp chomp chomp...
SECOND VULTURE: Quite good, quite good.
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: ...chomp chomp...
{Cut back to the remaining girls}
SO AND SO: You guys, I think this might be the start of a kinder, gentler squad of teen girls.
{Cut to the intro to "Best Friends Squad." The normal music is switched for the Best Friends Squad theme, as sung by Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD:
A glue stick, some glitta paint, {a "GLOO STICK" is seen on the first part, some "GLITTA PAINT" on the second}
Words cut out from a magazine, {Cut-out words are placed to read "Scrap BOOKS R Scrap TASTIC"}
BFF carved in a tree, {A heart with "BFF" is seen on a tree}
That stands for BAOW! FOM! FROOSH! {We see that The Ugly One carved it with the Big Knife, and the tree breaks, falls on her, and spontaneously combusts.}
A port-o-john came to life, {Which is exactly what happens}
Put on a play with So and So. {The port-o-john and So and So are seen on stage. The port-o-john wears a crown and holds a scepter. So and So wears a hat.}
Unfortunately, they didn't {So and So pretends to faint, and the port-o-john catches her. Thy stand up, and The Man with the Huge Mouth appears in the audience.}
Get very good reviews. {The Man throws a spear, which goes through So and So and hits the port-o-john in the face.}
What's Her Face ate Staple Sauce, {What's Her Face is seen next to a giant bottle of "STAPLE SAUCE"}
A heaping bowl of Staple Sauce. {She eats a bowl of it, and keels over, dead.}
Then crazy Learner's-Permit-Girl {We see her in her car.}
Gave-me-a-ride to Babbage's. {Strong Bad appears on the hood of her car, and then they're seen at Babbage's.}
STRONG BAD: What?! They don't got no Turbografx games?!
{Cut back to the ghosts of the girls.}
CHEERLEADER'S GHOST: Okay, my art galleries, let's get ready to be...
ALL GHOST GIRLS: {Cheerleader says this with her usual enthusiasm; the rest look down hearted.} SO DEAD!!!!
MR. PITTERS' GHOST: I look so good.
NARRATOR STRONG BAD:IT'S OVER!
Easter Eggs
- At the end, click the "o" to see Sci-Fi Greg brag about how the ladies and Valkyries are all over his experience points.
- Also at the end, click the "!" to see the "Over Achiever" strike Tompkins' homework.
Fun Facts
External Links
- watch "Teen Girl Squad Issue 9"
- view the Flash file for "Teen Girl Squad Issue 9"
- forum thread re: "Teen Girl Squad Issue 9"
| Teen Girl Squad | |
|---|---|
| Characters | Main: Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One Gregs: Sci-Fi Greg, D n' D Greg, Open Source Greg, Japanese Culture Greg Minor: Arrow'd Guy, The Birds, Brainkrieg, Fighting Growlbacks, Manolios, Mr. Pitters, Mrs. Commanderson, Olympic Man and Coach, Peacey P, Quarterman, she likes cloth, Thomas, Tompkins |
| Issues | Main: Issue 1, Issue 2, Issue 3, Issue 4, Issue 5, Issue 6, Issue 7, Issue 8, Issue 8½, Issue 9, Issue 10, Issue 11, Issue 12, Issue 13, Issue 14, Issue 15 SBCG4AP: Homestar Ruiner, Cave Girl Squad, Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen Toons: 4 Gregs, Decomposing Pumpkins |
| Miscellaneous | Locations, Costumes, Theme Song, Fangs, -'d, Ow! My X!, Captioned Transitions |
| Other | 404'd, Neon 404'd, Teen Girl Squadcast, Teen Girl Squad Deaths |
