Teen Girl Squad Issue 9

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When Cheerleader dies, the girls, along with an old man named Mr. Pitters, attempt to re-make themselves as the "Best Friends Squad."  
When Cheerleader dies, the girls, along with an old man named Mr. Pitters, attempt to re-make themselves as the "Best Friends Squad."  
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Cheerleader}}, {{Film|So and So}}, {{Film|What's Her Face}}, {{Film|The Ugly One}}, [[Mr. Pitters]], [[Learner's Permit Girl]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Science Fiction Greg|Science Fiction Greg]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#The Vultures|The Vultures]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Port-O-John|Port-O-John]], [[The Man with the Huge Mouth]], {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Tompkins}} (Easter Egg), Science Fiction Greg's Friends (Easter Egg), [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#D N'D Greg|D N'D Greg]] (Easter Egg)
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Cheerleader}}, {{Film|So and So}}, {{Film|What's Her Face}}, {{Film|The Ugly One}}, [[Mr. Pitters]], [[Learner's Permit Girl]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Science Fiction Greg|Science Fiction Greg]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Vultures|The Vultures]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Port-O-John|Port-O-John]], [[The Man with the Huge Mouth]], {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Tompkins}} (Easter Egg), Science Fiction Greg's Friends (Easter Egg), [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#D N'D Greg|D N'D Greg]] (Easter Egg)
'''Date:''' June 20, 2005
'''Date:''' June 20, 2005

Revision as of 17:44, 20 June 2005

LEARNER'S OINTMENT!

When Cheerleader dies, the girls, along with an old man named Mr. Pitters, attempt to re-make themselves as the "Best Friends Squad."

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Mr. Pitters, Learner's Permit Girl, Science Fiction Greg, The Vultures, Port-O-John, The Man with the Huge Mouth, Strong Bad, Tompkins (Easter Egg), Science Fiction Greg's Friends (Easter Egg), D N'D Greg (Easter Egg)

Date: June 20, 2005

Running Time: 2:05

Page Title: Summatime Style!

Contents

Transcript

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {screen shows Cheerleader wearing a dress with "sell fish" on the front and "backyard pool!" next to her} So and So! {library!} What's Her Face! {24 hour diner!} The Ugly One! {parking deck?}

CHEERLEADER: Okay my spanish galleons, this summer's gonna be different! Say guh-bye to hanging out next to this old person!

{Mr. Pitters appears on the left hand side of the screen.}

THE UGLY ONE AND MR. PITTERS: Bye old person...

CHEERLEADER: Cuz now I'm best friends with an olda girl what has her LEARNER'S PERMIT!!!

SO AND SO & THE UGLY ONE: LEARNER'S PERMIT!!!
MR. PITTERS: {interrupts at "learners"} LEARNER'S OINTMENT!!!

WHAT'S HER FACE: I've had my license for a year-

CHEERLEADER: Stop saying words. Here she comes now!

{Learner's permit girl appears and is driving really fast.}

LEARNER'S PERMIT GIRL: 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock!

{The Learner's Permit girl runs over Cheerleader. She dies.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: DRIVER'S ED'ED...DEAD

CHEERLEADER: Owww, my entire life!

{music stops}

SO AND SO: Whoa, Cheerleader's gone.


ALL 3 GIRLS: {music starts} WE'RE FREE!

MR. PITTERS: We're ointment!

THE UGLY ONE: The tyranny is over!!

{So and So reappears in her opening frame...}

SO AND SO: I can overachieve like a bandit!

{...as does What's Her Face, who is thinking of Science-Fiction Greg, with floating hearts...}

WHAT'S HER FACE: I can date science-fiction Greg again!

{...as well as the ugly one, who looks like a mess, with a pig.}

THE UGLY ONE: I can stop showering!!!!

{...as well as Mr. Pitters, who looks like an old person teen girl, and wears a shirt with "boy toy" on the front, and has two pigtails, like Cheerleader's.}

MR. PITTERS: I can be a teen girl!

{Two vultures appear over him.}

FIRST VULTURE: Ain't no teen girl.

{Cut to a dining room table where the vultures are seen eating Mr. Pitters.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Chomp chomp chomp chomp...

SECOND VULTURE: Quite good, quite good.

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: ...chomp chomp...

{Cut back to the remaining girls}

SO AND SO: You guys, I think this might be the start of a kinder, gentler squad of teen girls.

{Cut to the intro to "Best Friends Squad." The normal music is switched for the Best Friends Squad theme, as sung by Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: A glue stick, some glitta paint, {a "GLOO STICK" is seen on the first part, some "GLITTA PAINT" on the second}
Words cut out from a magazine, {Cut-out words are placed to read "Scrap BOOKS R Scrap TASTIC"}
BFF carved in a tree, {A heart with "BFF" is seen on a tree}
That stands for BAOW! FOM! FROOSH! {We see that The Ugly One carved it with the Big Knife, and the tree breaks, falls on her, and spontaneously combusts.}

A port-o-john came to life, {Which is exactly what happens}
Put on a play with So and So. {The port-o-john and So and So are seen on stage. The port-o-john wears a crown and holds a scepter. So and So wears a princess hat.}
Unfortunately, they didn't {So and So pretends to faint, and the port-o-john catches her. They stand up, and The Man with the Huge Mouth appears in the audience.}
Get very good reviews. {The Man throws a spear, which goes through So and So and hits the port-o-john in the face.}

What's Her Face ate Staple Sauce, {What's Her Face is seen next to a giant bottle of "STAPLE SAUCE"}
A heaping bowl of Staple Sauce. {She eats a bowl of it, and keels over, dead.}
Then crazy Learner's-Permit-Girl {We see her in her car.}
Gave-me-a-ride to Babbage's. {Strong Bad appears on the hood of her car, and then they're seen at Babbage's.}

STRONG BAD: What?! They don't got no Turbografx games?!

{Cut to the ghosts of the girls.}

CHEERLEADER'S GHOST: Okay, my art galleries, let's get ready to be...

ALL GHOST GIRLS: {Cheerleader says this with her usual enthusiasm; the rest look downhearted.} SO DEAD!!!!

MR. PITTERS' GHOST: {Wearing a shirt with "worm food" on the front.} I look so good.

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: IT'S OVER!

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click the "o" to see Sci-Fi Greg brag about how the ladies and Valkyries are all over his experience points.
SCI-FI GREG: I knew she'd come back to me. Ever since my experience points went into triple digits I've had to keep the ladies and valkyries off with a 2 handed plus 3 broad sword.
D N'D GREG: {leaning in from the left} Hey! Quit bitin my style!
  • Also at the end, click the "!" to see the "Over Achiever" strike Tompkins' homework.
TOMPKINS: {holding a piece of paper with mathematical symbols on it, graded "A+++++"} Hey! Who did the rest of my pre-algebra homework?
SO AND SO: {leaning in from the right, wearing a Lone Ranger mask and a hankerchief over her mouth} The over-achiever bandit strikes again!!!

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • Although Strong Bad says BFF stands for BAOW! FOM! FROOSH!, the acronym is usually an abbreviation for "Best Friends Forever."
  • Sci-fi Greg's speech in the Easter Egg uses terminology from Dungeons and Dragons, or "D&D", which is why D N'D Greg accuses him of "bitin' my style."
  • In America, a learner's permit is granted by some states to drivers as young as fourteen and once you have the permit, that driver must be accompanied by a licensed driver.
  • A galleon was a large, multi-decked sailing ship used primarily by the nations of Europe from the 16th to 18th centuries.
  • For many years, American teenagers were taught in Driver's Education class that the proper position for hands on the steering wheel was ten o'clock for the left hand and two o'clock for the right. Today they are taught to keep them at nine for the left and three for the right in cars with airbags.

Remarks

  • Sci-fi Greg's bragging about his three-digit experience total is misplaced - assuming he plays Dungeons and Dragons like his namesake, he could get almost 100 experience points from a single encounter, and would need at least a four-digit total to reach level 2.
  • This is the first TGS cartoon (not counting Issue 8½) that has neither an "Again" or "Back" link at the end.
  • Generally speaking, American teenagers get a driver's license at about sixteen years of age. Given the fact that she's had a driver's license for a year, it appears that What's Her Face is about seventeen years old.
  • This is the first Teen Girl Squad comic in which Strong Bad appears outside of an easter egg.

Inside References

  • Mr. Pitters's last line, "I look so good," is Cheerleader's last line in Teen Girl Squad Issue 1.
  • Inside Babbage's is a sign that appears to offer Cheap as Free software (it is partially obstructed).
  • The sound effect "froosh" was used in time capsule.
  • Cheerleader calling the Squad "my Spanish galleons" and "my art galleries" is an extension of Decemberween Teen Girl Squad, where she called them "my gallies."

Real-World References

  • Now known as GameStop, Babbage's was a popular chain of software stores. There are some Babbage's stores still in business today.
  • The TurboGrafx 16 was a video game console released by NEC in 1989, for the North American market.
  • According to Norse Mythology, Valkyries were fierce warrior-women who would swoop down on a battlefield, carrying away fallen warriors to fight for the gods' home of Asgard.

External Links

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