Teen Girl Squad Issue 7

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Teen Girl Squad Issue #7
watch Issue 6 Issue 8
Poor Tompkins

The girls reminisce on when they were toddlers.

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Tompkins, Fat Man, Bill Bellamy, Mrs. Commanderson, Arrow'd Guy, Thomas (Easter egg), Fightgar (Easter egg), Gunhaver (Easter egg)

Places: Diaper School, The Sky

Date: August 23, 2004

Running Time: 1:53

Page Title: Diaper School Grads!



NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teeny tiny girl squad! Cheerleader {fattycakes}, So and So {Polite and Boring}, What's Her Face {Lice and More!}, The Ugly One! {boy or girl?} and Tompkins.

{Music cuts out}

SO AND SO and THE UGLY ONE: Ooncha, ooncha, one-two-three-cha, leave me alone or I'll tell teach-a. Brush your teeth, comb your hair, I saw Tompkins in his under-where are you going, what are you doing, how do you be so short?


SO AND SO: Two Inch!

THE UGLY ONE: Three Inch!

SO AND SO: Four Inch!

THE UGLY ONE: Um, that's as high as I can count.

{Music comes back on}

WHAT'S HER FACE: I can count to G!

CHEERLEADER: That's nothing. I can count to purple backwards!

WHAT'S HER FACE: Here comes Tompkins.

TOMPKINS: Listen up, you undapants! Who wants to get hogtied, and pushed down, into, some snakewater?

THE UGLY ONE: Tompkins, how do you be so short?

TOMPKINS: Heck, I'm taller than you.


TOMPKINS: Waaaahh!

{Tompkins runs off. As he is running, he is attacked by a long arm with sharp claws, a diamond ring, and a bowler hat, which is then replaced by falling cinnamon buns.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: AGGH-! GRAGH-! A- he died somehow.

{The deceased Tompkins is in three parts on an Olympic Style podium with the caption "Torso takes Silver"}

{Cut back to the four girls}

WHAT'S HER FACE: Tompkins crinkled when he walked.

SO AND SO: Poor guy never made it out of training pants.

CHEERLEADER: Whatta you kiddos think of my... VERY OWN CHOCOLATE BAR!!

{Cheerleader whips out a chocolate bar that is covered in grains of something, has 2 hairs on it, a fly buzzing around it, and one ant.}

SO AND SO: Looks like you dropped it in the sand.

CHEERLEADER: No, I just dipped it in salt!

WHAT'S HER FACE: That's grosser than gross.

CHEERLEADER: Yeah? Well, my house has a hundred bafrooms!

SO AND SO: You mean your parent's house?

THE UGLY ONE: You mean two bafrooms?


{Large Man in a singlet appears, going down the slide}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {coughs and sputters, then sotto voce} squished. {Large Man lands on Cheerleader}

SO AND SO: She led a full life.

WHAT'S HER FACE: She led a full stomach.

{Cut to a standard school bell that says "Bill Bellamy" on it.}


The remaining three girls: NAPTIME!!

{Mrs. Commanderson appears in the sky behind them then swoops down to grab the girls.}

THE UGLY ONE: Thanks Mrs. Commander...son.

MRS. COMMANDERSON: EERRAAK!! {What's Her Face falls out of Mrs. Commanderson's mouth}

{Cut to modern times. Girls are standing together. So And So is holding a book: 'Old Photos' and Cheerleader's dress says, "coolier than thou."}

ALL: Look at how much we've grown!

{Zoom out to reveal the girls falling through the air, with Arrow'd Guy at the bottom of the screen, mouth wide open as if to catch the girls.}


Easter Eggs

  • As usual, clicking on the O in "It's over!" shows an egg, this one of Mrs. Commanderson introducing Thomas to the class.
    • {A young Thomas stands next to Mrs. Commanderson wearing a cap, with two books piled next to him.}
MRS. COMMANDERSON: Class, please welcome our new student. He's from foreign lands.
{Cut to What's Her Face. She is standing next to the letter blocks S and D}
WHAT'S HER FACE: {thought bubble} I think I have a chance with this guy.
  • Clicking on the exclamation point in "It's over!" displays Mrs. Commanderson with two of the Cheat Commandos.
    • {Mrs. Commanderson stands with Fightgar and Gunhaver, who are saluting her. The normal Cheat Commandos song plays, but with the lyrics: "Mrs. Commanderson, she's some kind of bird-reptile, and she teaches Pre-K!"}

Fun Facts


  • Tompkins's "swear" is the word "heck", which many young kids believe to be a swear word (along with "shut up", "stupid" and others).


  • In keeping with the theme of "returning from the dead", Cheerleader dies in the "past" and is somehow alive again in the present with the other girls.
  • According to the Sketchbook, an alternate death that was not used in this issue was one of the girls getting choked by a tetherball.


  • There is no again option at the end of this issue.
  • During the segment with the "Teeny Tiny" Girl Squad, the music is a tinkling bells version of the Teen Girl Squad theme. When the comic returns to the grown-up Teen Girl Squad, the music is the usual keyboard version.
  • During the segment with the Teeny Tiny Girl Squad, the paper on which the characters are drawn is the large, dotted style of paper commonly used with small children as they learn to write. When the comic returns to the grown-up Teen Girl Squad, the paper is back to its normal college rule.


  • The flower on So and So's dress appears only in the introductions.
  • When Mrs. Commanderson is fully on screen, the foot/claw that has The Ugly One in it is white paper style.
  • On the closing screen, the contraction "it's" is misspelled as the possessive "its." Ironically, Strong Bad has pointed out this mistake in the Strong Bad Email "local news".
  • In the Cheat Commando Easter Egg, Gunhaver is saluting with his left hand. Most (if not all) military salutes involve the right hand/arm.

Inside References

Real-World References

DVD Version

  • The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Matt Chapman)

MIKE: Remember when we went to like four different toy stores to try and find a little toy keyboard?

MATT: {simultaneously} Toy piano? {alone} Yeah, and we— this is what we— it's a weird like bells; it's not quite—

MIKE: And it was shaped like a tiger and it was just a xylophone, essentially—

MATT: {simultaneously} That's right!

MIKE: —that you hit buttons instead of hit the mallets.

MATT: That's right. Look, those— those blocks there say "SD", which is a reference to that terrible drawing I made of SD Special Delivery Jones!

MIKE: {simultaneously} {laughs} Oh yeah! What was that? {alone} Oh yeah!

MATT: And it said "SD"!

MIKE: {laughs}

MATT: Maybe we should put that in the sketchbook some week!

MIKE: {laughs} SD Special Delivery Jones was one of my favorite wrestlers growing up. And he— he never won. In fact, he got beat by King Kong Bundy in seven minutes in the first Wrestlemania.

MATT: {laughs} Nice!

MIKE: But anyway. Tompkins! Tompkins is based largely in part on a little cousin of ours.

MATT: Our cousin's son.

MIKE: Second cousin once removed twice times?

MATT: {in a singsong voice and trilling the "r"} Kraekol! Uh, and he did— he did threaten to push us down into some snakewater at some point.

MIKE: {laughs} And into a fiery furnace!

MATT: And he would lock us in a fiery furnace, and— if we didn't get into his truck and go get some gas station with him, partner.

MIKE: That's—

MATT: Anyways.

MIKE: So, Teeny Tiny Girl Squad, kinda like... Muppet Babies! Or...

MATT: Exactly!

MIKE: Flintstone Kids! Or...

MATT: Scooby—

MIKE: A Pup Called Scooby Doo!

MATT: There's a Loony Tunes Babies, too. I saw it the other day.

MIKE: {simultaneously} In addition to Tiny Toons?

MATT: It was on— it was on Boomerang. And it was... yeah.

MIKE: Oh, is it from back in the day?

MATT: I don't know. It definitely didn't look new. But it was terrible.

MIKE: Oh. There's King Kong Bundy right there! I never realized that, uh—

MATT: {simultaneously} That's right! How appropriate! {alone} So how about how What's Her Face is just Pig Pen? She has no hair! What is wrong with her? Ah, Mrs. Commanderson! An archaeopteryx! "Coolier than thou" is my favorite shirt, I think, she's worn. Look out for Arrow'd Guy!

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