Teen Girl Squad Issue 10

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The Teen Girl Squad celebrates The Ugly One's sweet someteenth birthday in 24 great-smelling colors!

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, A Mighty Warrior, Olympic Man, Coach, Wave o' Babies, George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Henry Rollins, Thomas, Olda Boys, Quarterback, Smiley Face Man, Possums, Visor Robot, Gift Exchange Lion, Hawaiian Guy, No I In Team Boy, Dinosaur, Mrs. Commanderson, Scotsmen, Tompkins, Fatty, Intercom, Manolios Ugly One, Vultures, Trolls, Mr. Pitters, Learner's Permit Girl, Arrow'd Guy, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Strong Sad

Date: October 10, 2005

Running Time: 3:34

Page Title: Tenth Issue-versary!



NARRATOR STRONG BAD: TEEN GIRL SQUAD: TENTHENNIAL EXTRAVAGANZA! In 24 Great-Smelling Colors! Cheerleader! {groovy grapefruit pink} So-and-so! {visicious violent violet} What's Her Face! {radacious bodadical razberry blue!} The Ugly One! {gnarly nursing home green}

{we open up to a school lunch table}

CHEERLEADER: Lunchtime gals. Now let's get ready to eat...


SO-AND-SO: Eating lunch is for weirdos.

{The Ugly One walks on to the screen, with a tray of cafeteria food in her hand.}

THE UGLY ONE: Holla grlfrndz. It's Corn and Corn Alone Day! {The Ugly One places the food on the table. Cut to a close-up of the corn. A small medieval warrior jumps out of the corn.}

WARRIOR: Corn is no place for a mighty warrior!

THE UGLY ONE: So... who wants to come to my sweet someteen birthday bash tonight?

WHAT'S HER FACE: Is it going to be Nick-at-Night themed again?

SO-AND-SO: {slaps her forehead} I don't think I can stomach another show not on the WB.

CHEERLEADER: No! We can't come. We have... the... olympics... tonight!

THE UGLY ONE: Oh, cuz it's a boy/girl party...

{close up of So-And-So and Cheerleader, who look rather insane.}


WHAT'S HER FACE: Taking the vowels out of words doesn't always make them cool.

SO AND SO: 'm srry.

CHEERLEADER: {Holding up a cellphone, of which the sound "the olympics are soooo dumb!" is emitting} So, coach just called and said the olympics are dumb. We'll be there like shareware!

{we cut to an olympic race track. The olympics coach is standing next to a rather angry-looking burly man.}

COACH: I don't know what they're talking about, I swear!

{Cut again to the Teen Girl Squad}

CHEERLEADER: Now, more than ever before, let's get ready to look....

CHEERLEADER, SO-AND-SO, WHAT'S HER FACE, THE UGLY ONE: SO GOOOD! {the camera does a 360-degree spin around the girls}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Whoa! That was about the coolest thing ever! We gotta see that again. {the cartoon rewinds, and play back the 360-spin. At the end, however, What's Her Face is still spinning.} Uh-oh. We gotta spinner.

WHAT'S HER FACE: Wheeeee! {her dialogue spins around in the text bubble}

{a title slide entitled "AT THE PARTY" (imprinted on a cigarette, which a man is smoking, appears. We cut to the boy/girl party. Various characters from previous TGS episodes are attending. We pan right to reveal the TGS. What's Her Face is still spinning.}

CHEERLEADER: Alright, wallflowers, watch a professional at work... I'm fit to get makey outey all over those uppaclassmen.

{cut to three Scots, drinking beer.}


{Cheerleader walks in.}

CHEERLEADER: Any o'you boys wanna ditch this preschool party? I know of a couple HAWT junior college jams we could hit. {one of the Scots throws Cheerleader away from them.}

STRONG BAD: CABER TOSSED!! {cut to a spinning What's Her Face.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: I really want... some of these chips. {Dead Cheerleader falls at the feet of What's Her Face.}


SCOT: {off-screen} BAGH! Only 23 metres! {we cut to the bowl of chips. The warrior jumps out of the chips.}

WARRIOR: Corn chips are no place for a mighty warrior! {the warrior impales What's-Her-Face with his spear as she rotates, and the upper half of What's-Her-Face's body falls off.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {grinding sound} LATHE'D!

WHAT'S HER FACE: Oww! I hope they have those corn chips in heaven!

{cut to So-And-So and Tompkins, playing a Gameboy.}

SO-AND-SO: Say, Tompkins, Brett Bretterson and I are Splitsville, so I'm lookin for a little rebound action!

TOMPKINS: Hecks no! I got Bowser on the ropes!

{A Koopa shell comes out of the Gameboy and strikes So-And-So in the face.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: pØwned! {said "puh-owned"} Or however you say that...

{we cut to The Ugly One's Father, standing at a microphone, speaking to the party crowd.}

MANOLIOS UGLY ONE: OK, party people, get ready to give it up for my little girl on her sweet someteenth birthday... and remember, if you're looking for low prices on used and broken electronics, don't forget... Manolios Ugly One's Lectro-Pawn!

TOMPKINS: {offscreen} p4wned! {said "peh-awned"}


{cut to the ugly one, wearing a red dress and much more attractive than before. The party music scratches to a halt.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! Did I draw that new hotness?

THE UGLY ONE: Thanks for coming to my party everyone! Now let's get it on like Diddy Kong!

{all people at the party, including The Ugly One, begin dancing.}

STRONG BAD: ARROWED II! ELECTRIC- {Arrow'd Guy appears on the scren, wearing a tuxedo, holding a wedding ring in his hand, and with spikes on his back.} Wait a minute! Not this time, Mister! {Strong Bad places a new piece of paper on the screen, containing The Ugly One and a muscular Strong Bad in Egypt.} Oh, why, hello, The Ugly One, you're looking so makey outey tonight.

THE UGLY ONE: Why thank you Sir Hotbod Handsomeface. So are you! {Strong Bad and The Ugly One start making out. We cut to Strong Bad at his desk, making out with the paper of The Ugly One. Zoom out to a broader view of the desk, revealing Strong Mad, Strong Sad, and The Cheat standing next to him, looking bemused.}

STRONG BAD: Oh...mmm, not bad...oh, twice...



THE CHEAT: {cheat noises}

{Strong Bad notices them, and quickly hides the paper.}

STRONG BAD: Oh! Uh, this is a piece of uh... pizaaaaa... {Strong Bad shoves most of the paper into his mouth.}

{we cut to a crumpled & salivated paper, with the "IT'S OVER" screen appearing on the paper. A faint outline of the making-out scene is visible.}

STRONG BAD: {slightly muffled} IT'S OVER!

STRONG SAD: {off-screen} Uh, Strong Bad, were you just first-baseing it with that piece of loose-leaf?!

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on the "O" to play a scene with Manolios Ugly One.
    MANOLIOS UGLY ONE: So okay, guys. Come down and be shopping at Manolios Ugly One's Lectro-pawn! {"come down and see us" flashes on the screen.} I have a price on broken VCR, smashed tape, or something like that. I'll be over here yelling, Manolios Lectro-pawn! {he appears upside-down from the top of the screen} Manolios Lectro-pawn! Or something like that.
  • Click on the "!" to play a scene with the girls.
    CHEERLEADER: It's our tenth Issue-versary!!! Let's do a clip show!!!
    SO AND SO: Let's have a wedding!!
    THE UGLY ONE: Let's have a baby!!!
    WHAT'S HER FACE: Let's kill someone off!
    NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Okay! {Cheerleader's head is turned upside-down, but with one ponytail still coming out of the "top" of her head, with the other ponytail on her backside and her arms and legs swapped. So and So is squished by a giant golf ball. The Ugly One is eaten by a carnivorous plant. What's Her Face has a lampshade over her head.}

Fun Facts


  • "pØwned" and "p4wned" are variations of the Internet slang, "pwned."


  • This cartoon uses a faster animation speed than any of the other ones before due to the 3-D sequence.
  • This is the first time that 3-D animation was used in a Homestar Runner cartoon on the site.


  • When you zoom in on the paper with "ARROW'D II!" on it near the end, it just says "ARROWED"
  • When Strong Bad rewinds the 3-D spin around, the "SO GOOD!" speech bubble disappears.

Inside References

Real-World References

External Links

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