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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for A Decemberween Mackerel. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="xmas10.swf" width="550" height="400">
 <line start="29" end="100" speaker="sfx">music</line>
 <line start="101" end="159" speaker="homestar">Marzipan! Explain to me why we're slogging through this blizzard again?</line>
 <line start="160" end="187" speaker="homestar">I don't think I can slog much further!</line>
 <line start="193" end="263" speaker="marzipan">I told you, at Decemberween time, it's our duty as people with more than one DVR to help those</line>
 <line start="264" end="266" speaker="marzipan">much, <span style="visibility:hidden">much, much, much, way very very very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="267" end="271" speaker="marzipan">much, much, <span style="visibility:hidden">much, much, way very very very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="272" end="276" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, <span style="visibility:hidden">much, way very very very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="277" end="280" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, <span style="visibility:hidden">way very very very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="281" end="286" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, way <span style="visibility:hidden">very very very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="287" end="290" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, way very <span style="visibility:hidden">very very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="291" end="294" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, way very very <span style="visibility:hidden">very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="295" end="297" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, way very very very <span style="visibility:hidden">much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="298" end="302" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, way very very very much, <span style="visibility:hidden">really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="303" end="311" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, way very very very much, really smelly, <span style="visibility:hidden">a lot much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="312" end="318" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, way very very very much, really smelly, a lot <span style="visibility:hidden">much less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="319" end="325" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, way very very very much, really smelly, a lot much <span style="visibility:hidden">less fortunate than us.</span> </line>
 <line start="326" end="342" speaker="marzipan">much, much, much, much, way very very very much, really smelly, a lot much less fortunate than us.</line>
 <line start="343" end="399" speaker="homestar">And, you think bringing 'em bean sprouts is, ahem, helping?</line>
 <line start="400" end="434" speaker="marzipan">Be quiet and keep slogging. We're almost there.</line>
 <line start="435" end="465" speaker="homestar">Ah, man! This guy?</line>
 <line start="466" end="508" speaker="homestar">When you said less fortunate, I just assumed you meant Coach Z.</line>
 <line start="509" end="522" speaker="coachz">Me too!</line>
 <line start="528" end="540" speaker="sfx">doorbell</line>
 <line start="551" end="576" speaker="sfx">traffic sounds</line>
 <line start="577" end="599"><sfx>traffic sounds</sfx><cardgage>Hello, Chi Minh?</cardgage></line>
 <line start="600" end="630" speaker="marzipan">Hi, Mr. Senor! Happy Decemberween!</line>
 <line start="631" end="658" speaker="cardgage">Is this a frank call?</line>
 <line start="659" end="695" speaker="marzipan">No, no, over here. We brought you some food for the holidays.</line>
 <line start="696" end="760" speaker="homestar">Yeah. We come down off our high horse to spread a little Decemberween cheer.</line>
 <line start="761" end="811" speaker="cardgage">Thank you, Hot Pooey. Would you care to coincide?</line>
 <line start="818" end="854" speaker="homestar">Marzipan, did that guy just call me "Hot Pooey"?</line>
 <line start="855" end="876" speaker="homestar">And invite me inside that bush?</line>
 <line start="877" end="890" speaker="marzipan">Maybe?</line>
 <line start="891" end="922" speaker="homestar">That's it, I'm going back to your house.</line>
 <line start="923" end="946" speaker="homestar">Later on, we'll conspire.</line>
 <line start="947" end="968" speaker="cardgage" sfx="very yes">shivering noises</line>
 <line start="969" end="1000"><cardgage sfx="very yes">shivering noises</cardgage><marzipan>Oh, you poor wretch. What's the matter?</marzipan></line>
 <line start="1001" end="1055" speaker="cardgage">Oh, not much... I'm just... <span style="visibility:hidden">dying.</span></line>
 <line start="1056" end="1072" speaker="cardgage">Oh, not much... I'm just... dying.</line>
 <line start="1073" end="1084" speaker="marzipan">Gasp!</line>
 <line start="1085" end="1138" speaker="singers">A Decemberween Mackerel...</line>
 <line start="1139" end="1188" speaker="singers">The name of this cartoon!</line>
 <line start="1209" end="1239" speaker="homestar">Oh, Marzipan! Is that you?</line>
 <line start="1240" end="1283" speaker="homestar">I'm wearing a sweater made out of mistletoe!</line>
 <line start="1284" end="1330" speaker="homestar">And what feels like a colony of venomous bugs!</line>
 <line start="1331" end="1343" speaker="homestar">Ah! You!</line>
 <line start="1344" end="1358" speaker="cardgage">Hot pooey.</line>
 <line start="1359" end="1400" speaker="homestar">Marzipan! What's the big idea of bringing this guy home?</line>
 <line start="1401" end="1450" speaker="homestar">I was about to give you your Decemberween make-out present.</line>
 <line start="1451" end="1456" speaker="homestar" sfx="very yes">clicking noises</line>
 <line start="1457" end="1501" speaker="marzipan">This is serious, Homestar. Senor Cardgage is dying!</line>
 <line start="1502" end="1528" speaker="homestar">Oh, cool. Then we'll just make out after.</line>
 <line start="1529" end="1551" speaker="homestar">What do you give him, five minutes?</line>
 <line start="1552" end="1563" speaker="homestar">No minutes? <span style="visibility:hidden"><em>No minutes?</em></span></line>
 <line start="1564" end="1575" speaker="homestar">No minutes? <em>No minutes?</em></line>
 <line start="1576" end="1622" speaker="marzipan">Homestar, I don't have time to trick you into making out with a mop again this year.</line>
 <line start="1623" end="1697" speaker="marzipan">Hmm, if we cram him full of enough holiday cheer, maybe he can squeeze out a Decemberween miracle!</line>
 <line start="1698" end="1722" speaker="homestar">Hey, I love cramming holiday cheer.</line>
 <line start="1723" end="1758" speaker="homestar">I'll go get my tinsel-wrapped cram rod!</line>
 <line start="1789" end="1799" speaker="homestar">Okay, I'm back.</line>
 <line start="1803" end="1832" speaker="sfx">music</line>
 <line start="1833" end="1897"><homestar>Coach Z's been drinking non-specific mouthwash-rine.</homestar><marzipan>Coach Z's been drinking non-specific mouthwash-rine.</marzipan></line>
 <line start="1898" end="1915">I need you to sign here.</line>
 <line start="1923" end="1974" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="very yes">Oh, thanks guys. That warms my heart.</line>
 <line start="1975" end="2015" speaker="strongsad">Not enough to stave off the onset of hypothermia, of course.</line>
 <line start="2016" end="2040" speaker="strongsad">But a month-long coma's nothing I haven't dealt with before.</line>
 <line start="2041" end="2060"><strongsad>But a month-long coma's nothing I haven't dealt with before.</strongsad><cardgage sfx="very yes">shivering noises</cardgage></line>
 <line start="2061" end="2105" speaker="cardgage">Ohhh... My coma's toast...</line>
 <line start="2106" end="2116" speaker="marzipan">Time to go!</line>
 <line start="2122" end="2150" speaker="sfx">music</line>
 <line start="2161" end="2171" speaker="pompom">bubbling noises</line>
 <line start="2191" end="2204" speaker="pompom">bubbling noises</line>
 <line start="2222" end="2235" speaker="pompom">bubbling noises</line>
 <line start="2246" end="2269" speaker="pompom">bubbling noises</line>
 <line start="2288" end="2293" speaker="pompom">bubbling noises</line>
 <line start="2308" end="2314" speaker="sfx">squeaky squeaky!</line>
 <line start="2315" end="2327" speaker="sfx">click!</line>
 <line start="2328" end="2376" speaker="marzipan">Okay, now we need to make the corresponding newsletter to brag about our family.</line>
 <line start="2384" end="2393" speaker="marzipan" sfx="very yes">deep breath</line>
 <line start="2397" end="2419" speaker="marzipan">This year was so great! Our family is so great!</line>
 <line start="2420" end="2449" speaker="marzipan">I can't believe Homestar started fourth grade! How time flies.</line>
 <line start="2450" end="2459" speaker="marzipan">It's so great!</line>
 <line start="2460" end="2502" speaker="marzipan">Senor Cardgage won first place in sports and was selected to be terminally ill!</line>
 <line start="2503" end="2534" speaker="marzipan">I am in book club and PTA carpool and redoing the back-splash.</line>
 <line start="2535" end="2542" speaker="marzipan">It's so great!</line>
 <line start="2543" end="2574" speaker="marzipan">Warm wishes, The Marzipan-Homestar-Cardgages.</line>
 <line start="2575" end="2639" speaker="homestar">Our family is, literally and figuratively, so great!</line>
 <line start="2640" end="2651" speaker="cardgage" sfx="very yes">groan</line>
 <line start="2652" end="2660" speaker="marzipan">Movin' on!</line>
 <line start="2660" end="2687" speaker="sfx">music</line>
 <line start="2688" end="2726" speaker="bubs">I've got a sale on everything. I've got all kinds of sales!</line>
 <line start="2727" end="2753" speaker="homestar">Say, Bubs. What's this line for?</line>
 <line start="2754" end="2769" speaker="bubs">The holidays.</line>
 <line start="2770" end="2793" speaker="homestar">Perfect! How long is it?</line>
 <line start="2794" end="2838" speaker="bubs">Three miles or eighteen days. Whichever comes first.</line>
 <line start="2839" end="2860" speaker="cardgage" sfx="very yes">groan</line>
 <line start="2861" end="2885" speaker="marzipan">All right, that's enough. Let's move. Peeow!</line>
 <line start="2886" end="2914" speaker="sfx">music</line>
 <line start="2915" end="2954" speaker="homestar">Nothing crams Decemberween cheer like the annual lighting <span style="visibility:hidden"> of the lights attached to a pole in a tree-shaped fashion.</span></line>
 <line start="2955" end="2999" speaker="homestar">Nothing crams Decemberween cheer like the annual lighting of the lights attached to a pole in a tree-shaped fashion.</line>
 <line start="3000" end="3029" speaker="homestar">If this doesn't cure him, nothing will!</line>
 <line start="3030" end="3047" speaker="coachz">Don't I know it!</line>
 <line start="3048" end="3096" speaker="coachz">Last year, these lights cured me of chronic athlete's tongue...</line>
 <line start="3097" end="3132" speaker="coachz">...and the year before that, it was rub rash...</line>
 <line start="3133" end="3146" speaker="coachz">..and then hot pooey—</line>
 <line start="3147" end="3169" speaker="homestar">Excuse me, you're disgusting.</line>
 <line start="3170" end="3183" speaker="homestar">Barf.</line>
 <line start="3191" end="3210"><homestar>Oh!</homestar><marzipan>Oh!</marzipan><coachz>Oh!</coachz></line>
 <line start="3211" end="3301" speaker="marzipan">Oh wow, if it was pitch black and I squinted and was a few miles away, this would sort of look like a tree almost!</line>
 <line start="3302" end="3354" speaker="marzipan">Isn't it wonderous, Senor? A real miracle-inducing spectacle, isn't it?</line>
 <line start="3355" end="3415" speaker="cardgage">Oh, my Toyota Cressida...</line>
 <line start="3416" end="3422" speaker="marzipan">Oh, no!</line>
 <line start="3423" end="3434" speaker="homestar">Oh, yes!</line>
 <line start="3435" end="3452" speaker="strongbad">What's goin' on here?</line>
 <line start="3453" end="3490" speaker="marzipan">Help, quick! I think Senor Cardgage is dying!</line>
 <line start="3491" end="3512" speaker="strongbad">And what makes you think that?</line>
 <line start="3513" end="3562" speaker="marzipan">He told me so when I brought him a hot covered dish to brighten his dismal life.</line>
 <line start="3563" end="3579" speaker="strongbad"><i>He</i> told you.</line>
 <line start="3580" end="3658" speaker="strongbad">You decided to take at face value something the guy who lives in a bush and talks to melty candy bars said.</line>
 <line start="3659" end="3668" speaker="marzipan">Maybe?</line>
 <line start="3669" end="3709" speaker="strongbad">And, who not fifteen minutes ago, told me I <span style="visibility:hidden">"might paste away if I Dinty Moore."</span></line>
 <line start="3710" end="3760" speaker="strongbad">And, who not fifteen minutes ago, told me I "might paste away if I Dinty Moore."</line>
 <line start="3761" end="3797" speaker="cardgage">You rally might, Pez dispenser.</line>
 <line start="3801" end="3846" speaker="strongbad">Besides, everybody knows the way to save Senor Cardgage is</line>
 <line start="3847" end="3904" speaker="strongbad">to cut a bunch of motor sports magazines in half and pour gravy on a defibrillator.</line>
 <line start="3905" end="3918" speaker="strongbad">A-like so.</line>
 <line start="3919" end="3944" speaker="strongmad" sfx="very yes">grunt</line>
 <line start="3945" end="3959" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
 <line start="3996" end="4064" speaker="cardgage">Oh, my grabness, grabness. It really is—</line>
 <line start="4065" end="4111" speaker="all">A Decemberween mackerel!</line>
 <line start="4112" end="4140" speaker="homestar">And nobody's dying.</line>
 <line start="4166" end="4247" speaker="homsar">AaAaAaAa! I'm your death's door neighbor.</line>
 <line start="4248" end="4290" speaker="homsar">Puff. Cough. Toff.</line>
 <line start="4297" end="4312" speaker="sfx">music</line>
 <line start="4338" end="4375" speaker="announcer">From the makers of Hot Jones comes Hot Pooey,</line>
 <line start="4378" end="4411" speaker="announcer">our newest holiday sensation!</line>
 <line start="4412" end="4419" speaker="announcer">Hot Pooey.</line>
 <line start="4424" end="4470" speaker="announcer"><i>"Oh dear god, what have we done?"</i></line>
 <line start="4485" end="4495" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Ooh.</line>
 <line start="4498" end="4519" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, I must say...</line>
 <line start="4521" end="4533" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Mmm...</line>
 <line start="4533" end="4551" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Ooh, twice...</line>
 <line start="4556" end="4625" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Marzipan, it's so romantic the way you lured me into this closet!</line>
 <line start="4625" end="4699" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">And the way your wet stringy face tastes like seven kitchen floors!</line>
 <line start="4700" end="4721" speaker="homestar" sfx="very yes">coughs</line>
 <line start="4725" end="4738" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Cockroach.</line>

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