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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Sbemailiarized!. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemailiarized.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="30"><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="31" end="50"><strongbad>Never mind new sbemails!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="51" end="63"><strongbad>It's Sbemailiarized Entertainment!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="64" end="86"><strongbad>It's Sbemailiarized Entertainment!</strongbad><sfx>series of notes</sfx><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="87" end="112"><sfx>series of notes</sfx><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="113" end="136"><strongbad>Hi. Yeah, it's Strong Bad.</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="137" end="188"><strongbad>This-a one time people ask me, "What separates the men from the boys?</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="189" end="211"><strongbad>"The wheat from the chaff?</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="212" end="245"><strongbad>"The sbemails from the other cartoons?"</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="246" end="273"><strongbad>And I told them: "Not all that much!"</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="274" end="294"><other voiceover="yes">Oooh!</other><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="295" end="351"><strongbad>Watch as I sbemailiarize myself with this classic cartoon!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="352" end="356" speaker="sfx">static</line>
  <line start="357" end="371" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strongbad,</line>
  <line start="372" end="394" speaker="strongbad">"Coach Z talks real funny.</line>
  <line start="395" end="419" speaker="strongbad">"Jimty, St. Pod"</line>
  <line start="420" end="447" speaker="strongbad">Jimty? That's a weird name!</line>
  <line start="448" end="470" speaker="strongbad">And you misspelled funny.</line>
  <line start="471" end="491" speaker="strongbad">Let's cut to Coach Z!</line>
  <line start="492" end="537" speaker="coachz">I uh, I say you did a great <em>jorb</em> out there.</line>
  <line start="538" end="577" speaker="strongbad">I cam'b deven umberstand wum that guy's sane!</line>
  <line start="578" end="590" speaker="strongbad">Zee you nezz dime!</line>
  <line start="591" end="593"><strongbad>Zee you nezz dime!</strongbad><thepaper>Preeow!</thepaper></line>
  <line start="594" end="600"><strongbad><span style="visibility:hidden">Zee you nezz dime!</span></strongbad><thepaper>Preeow!</thepaper></line>
  <line start="601" end="605" speaker="sfx">static</line>
  <line start="606" end="655" speaker="strongbad">See? I turned that old cratoon <!--sic--> into a Strong Bad Email!</line>
  <line start="656" end="690"><strongbad>The secret is this: We take a classic cartoon,</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="691" end="698"><strongbad>The secret is this: We take a classic cartoon,</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx><sfx>thud!</sfx></line>
  <line start="699" end="701"><strongbad voiceover="yes">and bookend it with my snarky wagglehead and an old computer!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="702" end="706"><strongbad voiceover="yes">and bookend it with my snarky wagglehead and an old computer!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx><sfx>ding!</sfx></line>
  <line start="707" end="747"><strongbad voiceover="yes">and bookend it with my snarky wagglehead and an old computer!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="748" end="777"><strongbad>It's not a rerun <em>or</em> a cop-out!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="778" end="783"><strongbad>It's Sbemailiarized Entertainment!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="784" end="813"><strongbad>It's Sbemailiarized Entertainment!</strongbad><sfx>series of notes</sfx><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="814" end="838"><sfx>series of notes</sfx><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="839" end="887"><mike>I can safely say: This is the future of Strong Bad Emails!</mike><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="888" end="908"><mike>I can't wait to stop working<span style="visibility:hidden;">—start working. On <em>them</em>!</span></mike><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="909" end="919"><mike>I can't wait to stop working—start working.<span style="visibility:hidden;"> On <em>them</em>!</span></mike><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="920" end="927"><mike>I can't wait to stop working—start working. On <em>them</em>!</mike><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="928" end="955"><matt><em>(very angrily)</em> This is <em>the</em> worst idea you've—</matt><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="956" end="960"><sfx>blip</sfx><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="961" end="988"><strongbad>Remember the one with that whale thing?</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="989" end="1012"><strongbad>That crap made no sense, right?</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1013" end="1060"><strongbad>Well, that's because <em>I</em> wasn't there to tell you why things were funny!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1061" end="1115" speaker="strongbad">Drive-thru? More like drivel-thru if you ask me.</line>
  <line start="1116" end="1151" speaker="strongbad">I mean, this is a fast food exchange we're having here.</line>
  <line start="1152" end="1221" speaker="strongbad">There's only like, ten things you could possibly be saying and I <em>still</em> can't understand you.</line>
  <line start="1222" end="1251" speaker="dtwhale">Nine-seventeen, sever your leg please, sir.</line>
  <line start="1252" end="1298" speaker="strongbad">Could you repeat that? I thought you just asked me to sever my leg.</line>
  <line start="1299" end="1324" speaker="dtwhale">Sever your leg, please. It's the greatest day.</line>
  <line start="1325" end="1390" speaker="strongbad">See Shandy? Now it's social satire and not just some weird crap that you watch.</line>
  <line start="1391" end="1409" speaker="strongbad">See you next time!</line>
  <line start="1410" end="1415" speaker="sfx">static</line>
  <line start="1416" end="1465" speaker="strongbad">And it doesn't just apply to cartoons in which I can't understand what people are saying!</line>
  <line start="1466" end="1492" speaker="strongbad"><em>(dryly)</em> Which there seems to be an abundance of.</line>
  <line start="1493" end="1530" speaker="strongbad"><em>(normally)</em> Why, you could sbemailiarize just about anything!</line>
  <line start="1536" end="1573" speaker="sfx" volume="0.7">wind whistle</line>
  <line start="1574" end="1584"><homestar>Toons!</homestar><sfx volume="0.7">wind whistle</sfx></line>
  <line start="1585" end="1616" speaker="sfx" volume="0.7">wind whistle</line>
  <line start="1617" end="1684" speaker="strongbad">And that's why Homestar is able to breathe in the vacuum of space, Devon. Thanks for a—</line>
  <line start="1685" end="1688"><strongbad voiceover="yes">And just watch me go to work on this hambroiger!</strongbad><sfx>record scratch</sfx></line>
  <line start="1689" end="1709" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">And just watch me go to work on this hambroiger!</line>
  <line start="1710" end="1721"><strongbad voiceover="yes">And just watch me go to work on this hambroiger!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">ambient restaurant noises</sfx></line>
  <line start="1722" end="1759"><span style="visibility:hidden"><strongbad voiceover="yes">And just watch me go to work on this hambroiger!</strongbad></span><sfx volume="0.8">ambient restaurant noises</sfx></line>
  <line start="1760" end="1765"><sfx>splat!</sfx><sfx volume="0.8">ambient restaurant noises</sfx></line>
  <line start="1766" end="1771"><span style="visibility:hidden"><sfx>splat!</sfx></span><sfx volume="0.8">ambient restaurant noises</sfx></line>
  <line start="1772" end="1783"><thepaper>Preeow!</thepaper><sfx volume="0.8">ambient restaurant noises</sfx></line>
  <line start="1784" end="1814"><strongbad>Wow! That totally didn't work!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1815" end="1845"><strongbad>Sbemailiarized Entertainment.</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1846" end="1863"><strongbad>Yeah Yeah, No, Yeah!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1864" end="1878"><sfx>series of notes</sfx><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1879" end="1925"><announcer voiceover="yes">Sbemailiarized Entertainment: Coming soon to the rest of 2009!</announcer><sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1994" end="2053" speaker="strongbad">So that's how you could do some kinda sbemail parody, 4th wall type thing, Greggy.</line>
  <line start="2054" end="2073" speaker="strongbad">I think it'd be a big hit!</line>
  <line start="2074" end="2153" speaker="strongbad">People would be all confused like, "Wait, did he really mean it? Or did he really, <em>really</em> mean it?"</line>
  <line start="2154" end="2204" speaker="strongbad">You know like, "Am I watching him? Or is he watching me?"</line>
  <line start="2205" end="2269" speaker="strongbad">Up is down! Taft is white! And hremails are sbemails!</line>
  <line start="2270" end="2313" speaker="strongbad">Uhhh, can you say <em>(high pitched)</em> mindblow?</line>
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