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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for different town. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail99.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="20" end="59" speaker="strongbad">Check your e-mail, and check your e-mail.</line>
  <line start="62" end="109" speaker="strongbad">Check-check your e-e-mail, and check-check your-your e-e-e-mail-mail.</line>
  <line start="115" end="165" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, I just wondering, if you had a chance to make your town different,</line>
  <line start="166" end="213" speaker="strongbad">what would you do? Sincerley, Steven, Wolksvagen."</line>
  <line start="220" end="253" speaker="strongbad">Pour hot soup in Homestar's eyes, eh Steven?</line>
  <line start="257" end="277" speaker="strongbad">That sounds like a pretty good- wait.</line>
  <line start="280" end="296" speaker="strongbad">What did your e-mail say again?</line>
  <line start="304" end="340" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx" volume="0.8">mumbles</line>
  <line start="341" end="360" speaker="strongbad">Oh! Oh. Sorry.</line>
  <line start="367" end="386" speaker="strongbad">Make the town different, eh, Steven?</line>
  <line start="392" end="410" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing)</em> Weeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhllllllll,</line>
  <line start="412" end="428" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="true">The Poopsmith, he could talk</line>
  <line start="429" end="434"><strongbad voiceover="true">The Poopsmith, he could talk</strongbad><poopsmith>Hello!</poopsmith></line>
  <line start="435" end="437"><strongbad voiceover="true">And Marzipan would rock</strongbad><poopsmith>Hello!</poopsmith></line>
  <line start="438" end="449" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="true">And Marzipan would rock</line>
  <line start="450" end="459"><strongbad voiceover="true">And Marzipan would rock</strongbad><sfx>guitar riff</sfx></line>
  <line start="460" end="462"><strongbad voiceover="true">And The Stick would be this big ol' tree</strongbad><sfx>guitar riff</sfx></line>
  <line start="463" end="476" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And The Stick would be this big ol' tree</line>
  <line start="477" end="506" voiceover="true"><strongbad>And The Stick would be this big ol' tree</strongbad><strongbad>that'd try to eat everyone except The Cheat and me</strongbad></line>
  <line start="507" end="515" speaker="strongmad">AND ME!</line>
  <line start="516" end="522"><strongmad>AND ME!</strongmad><strongbad>We'll see.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="523" end="548" speaker="strongbad">And the King of Town would be underground in a</line>
  <line start="549" end="564" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="true">box filled up with peas</line>
  <line start="565" end="582"><strongbad voiceover="true">box filled up with peas</strongbad><kingoftown>I hate peas!</kingoftown></line>
  <line start="583" end="590"><strongbad voiceover="true">box filled up with peas</strongbad><kingoftown>I hate peas!</kingoftown><strongbad>I know!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="595" end="622" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Bubs would give away flame throwers</line>
  <line start="623" end="650" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">that shoot chocolate hundred dollar bills</line>
  <line start="651" end="660"><strongbad voiceover="true">that shoot chocolate hundred dollar bills</strongbad><bubs>Imitation chocolate!</bubs></line>
  <line start="661" end="664"><strongbad voiceover="true">And my stupid baby brother</strongbad><bubs>Imitation chocolate!</bubs></line>
  <line start="665" end="689" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="true">And my stupid baby brother</line>
  <line start="690" end="728" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">would've been born with horns and a tail</line>
  <line start="729" end="743"><strongbad voiceover="true">would've been born with horns and a tail</strongbad><strongsad>I'm evil.</strongsad></line>
  <line start="746" end="762" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="true">And Coach Z would wear this cool jacket</line>
  <line start="763" end="770"><strongbad voiceover="true">And Coach Z would wear this cool jacket</strongbad><coachz>Check it out, yo!</coachz></line>
  <line start="771" end="773"><strongbad voiceover="true">And Homestar just couldn't hack it</strongbad><coachz>Check it out, yo!</coachz></line>
  <line start="774" end="785" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="true">And Homestar just couldn't hack it</line>
  <line start="786" end="790"><strongbad voiceover="true">And Homestar just couldn't hack it</strongbad><homestar>I quit!</homestar></line>
  <line start="791" end="791"><strongbad voiceover="true">And Pom Pom wouldn't change at all,</strongbad><homestar>I quit!</homestar></line>
  <line start="792" end="807" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="true">And Pom Pom wouldn't change at all,</line>
  <line start="808" end="835" voiceover="true"><strongbad>And Pom Pom wouldn't change at all,</strongbad><strongbad>'cept he'd look like an ABA Basketball...</strongbad></line>
  <line start="836" end="859" speaker="strongbad">...2, 3, 4...</line>
  <line start="860" end="882" speaker="strongbad">And this little weirdo</line>
  <line start="886" end="941" speaker="strongbad">would be a modestly hot girl to help me through the hard times</line>
  <line start="942" end="974" speaker="strongbad">You know, the kind that are only sorta hot</line>
  <line start="975" end="1033"><strongbad>You know, the kind that are only sorta hot</strongbad><strongbad>so they don't mess around with other guys!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1036" end="1048" speaker="homsar" sfx="sfx">wails</line>
  <line start="1049" end="1085" speaker="homsar">I'm forever your girl!</line>
  <line start="1086" end="1148" speaker="sfx" sfx="sfx">massive applause</line>
  <line start="1149" end="1170" speaker="strongbad">Thank you! Thank you!</line>
  <line start="1171" end="1249" speaker="strongbad">All right. This next one is the 14th song on my 42nd album.</line>
  <line start="1250" end="1259" speaker="strongbad">It's called...</line>
  <line start="1260" end="1270" speaker="strongsad">Hey, Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1273" end="1295" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Whoa! Can it be true?</line>
  <line start="1300" end="1315" speaker="strongbad">Homestar Runner calls it quits?</line>
  <line start="1318" end="1342" speaker="strongbad">The King of Town pea-buried alive?</line>
  <line start="1348" end="1362" speaker="strongbad">The Poopsmith speaketh?</line>
  <line start="1370" end="1400" speaker="strongsad">No! Calm down, spaz.</line>
  <line start="1405" end="1459" speaker="strongsad">I'm going to the "Clash of the Titans" con dressed up as Calibos, remember?</line>
  <line start="1460" end="1507" speaker="strongsad">I was just gonna ask if you still wanted that bust of Bubo.</line>
  <line start="1514" end="1553" speaker="strongbad">Oh, um, right. Of course.</line>
  <line start="1561" end="1571" speaker="strongbad" sfx="true">ahem</line>
  <line start="1577" end="1590" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, I still want the bust of Bubo.</line>
  <line start="1597" end="1658" speaker="strongsad">Okay, bye, weirdo. What are you standing on that stool for anyway?</line>
  <line start="1662" end="1688" speaker="strongbad">For your information, I was... <span style="visibility:hidden">checking on the lights... Strong Sad.</span></line>
  <line start="1689" end="1711" speaker="strongbad">For your information, I was... checking on the lights... <span style="visibility:hidden">Strong Sad.</span></line>
  <line start="1712" end="1722" speaker="strongbad">For your information, I was... checking on the lights... Strong Sad.</line>
  <line start="1729" end="1755" speaker="strongbad">We got that recessed lighting, you know.</line>
  <line start="1761" end="1777" speaker="strongbad">Yep,
 everything looks great.</line>
  <line start="1785" end="1807" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, things would be different alright.</line>
  <line start="1810" end="1850" speaker="strongbad">Though I'm a little disappointed in what I came up with for Homsar.</line>
  <line start="1856" end="1878" speaker="strongbad">Modestly hot, my eye!</line>
  <line start="1884" end="1910" speaker="strongbad">I think my imagination's broke.</line>
  <line start="1917" end="1949" speaker="strongbad">Let me try and think up the best thing ever.</line>
  <line start="1950" end="1970" speaker="strongbad">Um... <span style="visibility:hidden">beef... stew.</span></line>
  <line start="1971" end="1999" speaker="strongbad">Um... beef... <span style="visibility:hidden">stew.</span></line>
  <line start="2000" end="2018" speaker="strongbad">Um... beef... stew.</line>
  <line start="2019" end="2070" speaker="strongbad">Yup, it's busted alright. I'm gonna go... <span style="visibility:hidden">place.</span></line>
  <line start="2071" end="2082" speaker="strongbad">Yup, it's busted alright. I'm gonna go... place.</line>
  <line start="2094" end="2104" speaker="thepaper">Preeow!</line>
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