Subtitles:sbemail94/en

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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for English. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail94.swf" width="550" height="400">>
    <line start="15" end="83" speaker="strongbad">Email is like a prison. A prison with no walls... and no toilet.</line>
    <line start="94" end="157" speaker="strongbad">"Hey Strong Bad, I was just wondering what you would be like in a video game and what it would be like.</line>
    <line start="159" end="196" speaker="strongbad">From, Taylor R. Queen Creek, Alcatraz"</line>
    <line start="200" end="250" speaker="strongbad">Whoa. Somebody on the inside. Get out soon, Taylor.</line>
    <line start="260" end="290" speaker="strongbad">What would I be like in a video game?</line>
    <line start="297" end="332" speaker="strongbad">Well, that all depends on what system we're talking about.</line>
    <line start="335" end="365" speaker="strongbad">Like, if it was on one of those really old machines</line>
    <line start="368" end="405" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">the graphics would probably only look kinda like me.</line>
    <line start="410" end="468" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And I'd run all around a futuristic maze collecting things that look nothing like me.</line>
    <line start="474" end="490" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Man, that'd be pretty awesome!</line>
    <line start="508" end="552" speaker="strongbad">Ooh! Ooh! I could also be in one of those 3-D vector games.</line>
    <line start="553" end="599" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And there'd be this awesome, huge, 3-D version of my head floatin' around.</line>
    <line start="605" end="661" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Like, it looks so awesome, girls would probably try to make out with the screen</line>
    <line start="665" end="689" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and we'd have to program it to be like:</line>
    <line start="690" end="716" speaker="vectorsb">BACK OFF BABY</line>
    <line start="717" end="744" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And in this one, the player wouldn't control me...</line>
    <line start="745" end="766" speaker="strongbad">'CUZ YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!!</line>
    <line start="770" end="815" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Instead, you'd be some kinda 3-D shield guy with a shield...</line>
    <line start="821" end="865" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Some kind of spikey-headed 3-D cyber-shield guy...</line>
    <line start="870" end="886" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">with a cyber-shield.</line>
    <line start="887" end="961" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And you'd have to block my perplexing 3-D geometric attacks, or face certain 3-D doom!</line>
    <line start="979" end="999" speaker="vectorsb">YOUR HEAD A SPLODE</line>
    <line start="1001" end="1045" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Naturally, there'd be some problems with bad translation.</line>
    <line start="1047" end="1098" speaker="strongbad">On the other hand, it might be cool to be in one of those text-based adventures.</line>
    <line start="1100" end="1148" speaker="strongbad">You know, for those intellectual people with better imaginations.</line>
    <line start="1157" end="1167" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It'd be like...</line>
    <line start="1170" end="1215" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Ye find yeself in yon dungeon. Ye see a FLASK.</line>
    <line start="1221" end="1273" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.</line>
    <line start="1279" end="1292" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And you'd be all like...</line>
    <line start="1295" end="1310" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Get ye flask</line>
    <line start="1312" end="1322" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And it'd say,</line>
    <line start="1324" end="1338" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You can't get ye flask!</line>
    <line start="1342" end="1400" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And you'd just have to sit there and imagine why on Earth you can't get ye flask!</line>
    <line start="1405" end="1430" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Because the game's certainly not going to tell you.</line>
    <line start="1432" end="1470" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And there's no precious graphics to help you out, either!</line>
    <line start="1483" end="1528" speaker="strongbad">But oh, man. The best thing ever would be if I was in one of those</line>
    <line start="1529" end="1572" speaker="strongbad">brand new super-photorealistic games that take like</line>
    <line start="1575" end="1622" speaker="strongbad">tons of migs and megs of memories just to play it.</line>
    <line start="1628" end="1675" speaker="strongbad">I'd look super-cool, runnin' around on some grass, maybe.</line>
    <line start="1682" end="1734" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Where there'd be like, um... a rhino there, too.</line>
    <line start="1744" end="1757" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">A hungry rhino!</line>
    <line start="1771" end="1817" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And I'd have to, I guess... feed him.</line>
    <line start="1829" end="1870" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And, umm... snakes?</line>
    <line start="1927" end="1972" speaker="strongbad">So hopefully one day technology will catch up with my advanced thinking,</line>
    <line start="1973" end="2013" speaker="strongbad">so all the ladies can start making out with their TV screens.</line>
    <line start="2024" end="2101" speaker="strongbad">Until next time, Taylor, this one's for you, and all my peoples got sent up the river.</line>
</transcript>
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