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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for kind of cool. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail92.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="17" end="60" speaker="strongbad">Thanks for choosing Strong Bad Email. Would you like to try a combo meal?</line>
  <line start="72" end="87" speaker="strongbad">"Hey strong bad,"</line>
  <line start="87" end="177" speaker="strongbad">"Dude, I was just thinkin' and wonderin' what it would be like if you weren't the stylish, buff, handsome man in a wrestling mask that you are."</line>
  <line start="177" end="195" speaker="strongbad">"Your devoted fan,"</line>
  <line start="195" end="218" speaker="strongbad">"Jor-dan"</line>
  <line start="218" end="286" speaker="strongbad">So you mean, like, what would it be like if I was an ugly dumpy guy with a beer belly and a comb-over? </line>
  <line start="286" end="335" speaker="strongbad"> I'd still probably be the coolest guy in the world, just a different kind of cool. </line>
  <line start="335" end="381" speaker="strongbad"> More of a "I'm so cool, you don't even know I'm cool" kind of cool. </line>
  <line start="381" end="401" speaker="strongbad">Or the kind of cool where I'm--</line>
  <line start="401" end="457" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">--always walking around with a plastic grocery bag full of mysterious unknown contents.</line>
  <line start="463" end="493" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Maybe it's cold pizza. Maybe it's rotten vegetables.</line>
  <line start="497" end="529" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Or maybe it's the shattered pieces of my former life.</line>
  <line start="545" end="612" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Or maybe it's just full of a bunch of melty candy bars that<br />I eat really loudly while standing too close to you in line.</line>
  <line start="673" end="714" speaker="homestar">Hey, Pom Pom. This guy smells like pea soup.</line>
  <line start="726" end="746" speaker="homestar"><em>(Singing)</em><br/>You smell like pea sooooup!</line>
  <line start="752" end="814" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And then I'd always be suspiciously coming out of bushes and<br />shrubs a lot. Like, right when you walk by.</line>
  <line start="820" end="829" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And if I see you,</line>
  <line start="829" end="834" speaker="homestar">Whoa!</line>
  <line start="834" end="877" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I'd say some cool phrase that's<br />almost one word and not quite another.</line>
  <line start="886" end="907" speaker="cardgage">Oh, excardon me!</line>
  <line start="914" end="931" speaker="homestar">Um,</line>
  <line start="931" end="952" speaker="homestar"><em>(Singing)</em><br/>I don't know what that meeeans!</line>
  <line start="959" end="985" speaker="homestar"><em>(Singing)</em><br/>And you still smell like pea soooup!</line>
  <line start="992" end="1052" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And I'd be so cool, that even if you were a dude,<br />I'd still call at you like you were a lady.</line>
  <line start="1090" end="1176" speaker="cardgage">I'm very sorry, ma'am, but could you help an old denominator,<br />like me, gather his spectacles?</line>
  <line start="1205" end="1285" speaker="cardgage">I'm sorry, ma'am. Would you mind helping an old<br />wintergreen gather his spectacles?</line>
  <line start="1305" end="1397" speaker="cardgage">Sorry to bother you, ma'am. Could you help an old<br />Soderbergh gather his spectacles?</line>
  <line start="1426" end="1444" speaker="strongmad">NOOOO!!!</line>
  <line start="1448" end="1481" speaker="strongbad">That's a pretty cool guy right there.</line>
  <line start="1482" end="1514" speaker="strongbad">It's good to know that if I ever let myself go and...</line>
  <line start="1515" end="1536" speaker="strongbad">grow a couple feet...</line>
  <line start="1537" end="1555" speaker="strongbad">live behind a bush... </line>
  <line start="1555" end="1573" speaker="strongbad">I'll be sitting pretty. </line>
  <line start="1573" end="1598" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Uh, excardon me,</line>
  <line start="1598" end="1627" speaker="strongsad">but none of that stuff is cool, Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1628" end="1694" speaker="strongsad">You basically described that creep SeƱor Cardgage that<br />lived down the street from us when we were little.</line>
  <line start="1695" end="1733" speaker="strongbad">What!? You didn't think Senor Cardgage was cool?</line>
  <line start="1734" end="1785" speaker="strongsad">No! He was extremely sketchy and gave me nightmares!</line>
  <line start="1786" end="1826" speaker="strongbad">And... What's not cool about giving you nightmares?</line>
  <line start="1827" end="1885" speaker="strongsad">Oh never mind. Go back to your creepy comb-over story.</line>
  <line start="1897" end="1963" speaker="strongbad">Anyways, Jor-dan, creepy comb-over story Strong Bad is definitely a cool, cool guy. </line>
  <line start="1963" end="2008" speaker="strongbad">In fact, I wouldn't mind hanging out with a guy like that. </line>
  <line start="2008" end="2050" speaker="strongbad">Well, things certainly are looking up for the future. </line>
  <line start="2050" end="2094" speaker="strongbad">Me, I'm gonna go look up Senor Cardgage. </line>
  <line start="2094" end="2114" speaker="strongbad">See where that guy ended up.</line>
  <line start="2114" end="2127" speaker="sfx">The geddup noise</line>
  <line start="2127" end="2138" speaker="thepaper">Preeow!</line>
<!-- Easter Egg -->
  <line start="2153" end="2183" speaker="strongbad">So, uh, you're really cool.</line>
  <line start="2184" end="2236" speaker="cardgage">Thank you ma'am. Would you care for a slice of gum?</line>
  <line start="2237" end="2269" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, totally, I'd be way into a slice of gum.</line>
  <line start="2280" end="2307" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.9">Man! So cool!</line>
  <line start="2308" end="2329" speaker="strongbad">Uh... Say something else.</line>
  <line start="2330" end="2412" speaker="cardgage">I have to be going, Ethel. I've got some important lines to stand in.</line>
  <line start="2413" end="2443" speaker="strongbad">Oh... Will I ever see you again?</line>
  <line start="2444" end="2464" speaker="cardgage">Ex-obably not.</line>
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