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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for English. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail81.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="15" end="68" speaker="strongbad">Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tep... tick.</line>
    <line start="70" end="145" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, Here's a question for ya. What do you think happens when Homestar and Marzipan go on a date?</line>
    <line start="149" end="210" speaker="strongbad">Dyn-o-MITE! Boston, uh, and the state Boston's in"</line>
    <line start="219" end="244" speaker="strongbad">You know I've done a lotta thinking on the subject.</line>
    <line start="250" end="299" speaker="strongbad">And yes, Boston, you guessed it, it gimme the jibblies.</line>
    <line start="308" end="354" speaker="strongbad">So in order to watch from a proper, safe distance I made up the</line>
    <line start="355" end="403" speaker="strongbad">Homestar Runner and Marzipan Extra Real Dating Sim XR!</line>
    <line start="410" end="458" speaker="strongbad">Using the most state-of-the-art polygoniest technologies,</line>
    <line start="461" end="500" speaker="strongbad">we can see what an actual date with Marzipan and Homestar Runner</line>
    <line start="501" end="534" speaker="strongbad">would be like without the risk of personal injury.</line>
    <line start="544" end="555" speaker="strongbad">Or vomiting.</line>
    <line start="560" end="599" speaker="strongbad">I think it would go a little something...a-like-a-dis-a.</line>
    <line start="625" end="639" speaker="marzipan">DUH!</line>
    <line start="649" end="688" speaker="homestar">FUH! DUH! DUH!</line>
    <line start="694" end="759" speaker="marzipan">BUH! DUH! FUH! Strong Bad is on point!</line>
    <line start="777" end="790" speaker="homestar">FUH!</line>
    <line start="802" end="858" speaker="strongbad">So that gives you a pretty good idea of the lurking horrors.</line>
    <line start="863" end="939" speaker="strongbad">But to really experience it firsthand we'd need to, like, get the Cheat to hide some kinda hidden camera,</line>
    <line start="940" end="983" speaker="strongbad">you know, in, maybe, that marshmallow place they always go to.</line>
    <line start="993" end="1030" speaker="strongbad">So, we did. Let's check it out!</line>
    <line start="1045" end="1143" speaker="homestar">Okay, okay, okay! Let's play again! What do you think I'll say next? Sid Hoffman, or Sid Frenchman?</line>
    <line start="1146" end="1175" speaker="marzipan">This is the dumbest game I've ever played.</line>
    <line start="1176" end="1213" speaker="homestar">Aw, c'mon! You're just being sore because you're losin'.</line>
    <line start="1214" end="1241" speaker="marzipan">Okay, I'll go with Sid Hoffman.</line>
    <line start="1253" end="1338" speaker="homestar">Sid Hoffffff...frenchman! Sorry! You lose again. I said Sid Frenchman.</line>
    <line start="1342" end="1383" speaker="marzipan">Homestar, you said Sid Hoffrenchman. That was not even a choice.</line>
    <line start="1384" end="1444" speaker="strongbad">Oh, jeez. I don't think I can handle much more of this. Let's see what else we got on the tube.</line>
    <line start="1466" end="1516" speaker="strongsad">Ow! Please! Quit! Punching! Me-in-the-face!</line>
    <line start="1541" end="1566" speaker="strongsad">Since when did you start wearing a class ring?</line>
    <line start="1567" end="1583" speaker="strongbad">Oh, beautiful!</line>
    <line start="1584" end="1595" speaker="strongsad">With a camera in it?</line>
    <line start="1596" end="1611" speaker="strongbad">Nice work, big bro!</line>
    <line start="1622" end="1650" speaker="strongbad">Everything seems to be in order in Strong Badi—</line>
    <line start="1651" end="1702" speaker="strongbad">Oh! Perfect timing. Check out my security counter-measures.</line>
    <line start="1703" end="1715" speaker="thecheat">screams</line>
    <line start="1722" end="1729" speaker="thecheat">screams louder</line>
    <line start="1730" end="1804" speaker="strongbad">Muwahaha! Look at the little guy run! The Cheat totally freaks out whenever he sees a bear holding a shark.</line>
    <line start="1828" end="1852" speaker="homestar">Hey, Marzipan, can you feel that?</line>
    <line start="1853" end="1863" speaker="marzipan">Yeahh...</line>
    <line start="1865" end="1883" speaker="homestar">What is that?</line>
    <line start="1884" end="1904" speaker="marzipan">Well, you're kicking me in the shins.</line>
    <line start="1907" end="1937" speaker="homestar">Oh, I think I'd remember something like that.</line>
    <line start="1938" end="2022" speaker="strongbad">Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. We also switched Homestar Runner's gourmet coffee with Super Mud!</line>
    <line start="2056" end="2087" speaker="strongbad">Whoa-ho-ho! That's great!</line>
    <line start="2091" end="2143" speaker="strongbad">Marzipan's gotta face fulla super mud and I'm feelin' fine.</line>
    <line start="2151" end="2198" speaker="strongbad">The Paper, would you bring this fine email to a close?</line>
    <line start="2219" end="2272" speaker="strongbad">I gotta go reset that bear-shark. You guys can play that game if you want.</line>
    <line start="2507" end="2537" speaker="homestar">Chun king! Chun king!</line>
    <line start="2538" end="2551" speaker="marzipan">Homestar...</line>
    <line start="2552" end="2566" speaker="homestar">Chun king! Chun king!</line>
    <line start="2567" end="2586" speaker="marzipan">Homestar, what are you doing?</line>
    <line start="2587" end="2599" speaker="homestar">Chun king! Chun king!</line>
    <line start="2600" end="2626">
        <homestar>Chun king! Chun king! Chun king!</homestar>
        <marzipan>Stop it. You're getting on my nerves.</marzipan>
    <line start="2633" end="2672" speaker="homestar">I'm trying to order the chun king.</line>
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