Subtitles:sbemail190/en

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Current revision as of 05:30, 29 September 2016

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These are the English subtitles for licensed. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail190.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="108" speaker="strongbad"><i>(singing)</i> Save the gross stuff up at the back of your throat, and hock it at an unsuspecting email.</line>
  <line start="109" end="173" speaker="strongbad">"Ok Strong Bad, you and the Cheat are like famous now, but why haven't you licensed anything yet?</line>
  <line start="174" end="212" speaker="strongbad">"Like where's the Strong Bad novels and fluffy pillows,</line>
  <line start="213" end="255" speaker="strongbad">"I need more Strong Bad in my day, come on man help me out!</line>
  <line start="256" end="304" speaker="strongbad">"From yours truly, Pilmple-Faced Bill from receiving"</line>
  <line start="305" end="344" speaker="strongbad">Hey! I paid that pilmple-faced bill months ago!</line>
  <line start="345" end="403" speaker="strongbad">You gotta tell grody Blackhead-Flaced Janice from accounting to update her records!</line>
  <line start="404" end="448" speaker="strongbad">As for being famous and licensing stuff, you've got it all wrong.</line>
  <line start="449" end="478" speaker="strongbad">You don't need to be famous to license stuff.</line>
  <line start="479" end="508" speaker="strongbad">Just look at Biscuitdoughhandsman.</line>
  <line start="509" end="571" speaker="strongbad">He licensed his likeness to a paper towel company years ago, and no one knows who the crap he is.</line>
  <line start="572" end="613" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Get this, Vera, it's exorbitantly absorbent!</line>
  <line start="614" end="631" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Shut up, lady!</line>
  <line start="632" end="709" speaker="strongbad">No, the true sign of being famous is in the <i>unlicensed</i> stuff! And we're all over that!</line>
  <line start="710" end="808" speaker="strongbad">In fact, we've got our own application process for becoming an officially licensed unlicensed seller of Strong Bad and The Cheat knock-offs.</line>
  <line start="809" end="883" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The main requirements are that the country of manufacture has changed name five times since I was in seventh grade,</line>
  <line start="884" end="927" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">that you sell your wares from a blanket, or inside a trench coat,</line>
  <line start="928" end="984" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">that you always refer to the selling of our items as "numba one bargain!",</line>
  <line start="985" end="1014" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and that one of us has to have a human nose.</line>
  <line start="1015" end="1028"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">and that one of us has to have a human nose.</strongbad><sfx>splat</sfx></line>
  <line start="1029" end="1076" speaker="strongbad">One of our primary unlicensed licensees is shady daycares.</line>
  <line start="1077" end="1132" speaker="strongbad">You know, the kind that are open 24 hours and are surrounded by barbed wire.</line>
  <line start="1133" end="1187" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">They love to illegally use trademarked characters to earn desperate parents' trust.</line>
  <line start="1188" end="1273" speaker="cardgage" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(singing)</i> Where is Tompkins? Where is Cole Slaw? Here I am!</line>
  <line start="1274" end="1359" speaker="strongbad">Man, if I ever have kids, I can't wait to drop 'em off at the Puddin' Patch every morning on my way to the dog tracks!</line>
  <line start="1360" end="1390" speaker="strongbad">Another great knock-off is DVDs.</line>
  <line start="1391" end="1442" speaker="strongbad">The ones that are slight variations of slightly animated kids' movies.</line>
  <line start="1443" end="1509" speaker="strongbad">The kind they put right next to the check-out line, so Grandma might accidentally mistake it for the real thing.</line>
  <line start="1510" end="1521" speaker="strongbad">And they have titles like:</line>
  <line start="1522" end="1571" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"The Secret Princess and Her Oppressive Authority Figure 4"</line>
  <line start="1572" end="1589" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And the always popular,</line>
  <line start="1590" end="1645" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"Jungle Animals in Decidedly Non-Jungle Situations".</line>
  <line start="1646" end="1718" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Novelty confections have to be my favorite growth sector of the unlicensed merchandise industry,</line>
  <line start="1719" end="1750" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">like these sugar-crusted marshmallow The Cheats,</line>
  <line start="1751" end="1784" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">or this gummi gel-ular pop,</line>
  <line start="1785" end="1809" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">from <i>Strong Badge: the Movie</i></line>
  <line start="1810" end="1870" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And who wouldn't want to rot the teeth right out of their kid's head with this spinning Strong Bad sugar toothbrush?</line>
  <line start="1871" end="1894"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">And who wouldn't want to rot the teeth right out of their kid's head with this spinning Strong Bad sugar toothbrush?</strongbad><sfx>shaking and rattling</sfx></line>
  <line start="1895" end="1922" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Hey, Strong Bad, look! You're twice!</line>
  <line start="1923" end="1957" speaker="strongbad">A Strong Bad piñata!? Where'd you get that?</line>
  <line start="1958" end="1967" speaker="coachz">Bubs.</line>
  <line start="1968" end="1979" speaker="strongbad">Bubs?</line>
  <line start="1980" end="2013" speaker="coachz">Yeah, he's the fellow that runs the concession stand—</line>
  <line start="2014" end="2061" speaker="strongbad">I know who he is! He's an unlicensed unlicensed seller!</line>
  <line start="2062" end="2088" speaker="strongbad">I've been trying to shut him down for years.</line>
  <line start="2089" end="2100" speaker="strongbad">Come on, The Cheat!</line>
  <line start="2101" end="2133"><sfx>The Geddup Noise</sfx><thecheat>anxious The Cheat noises</thecheat></line>
  <line start="2134" end="2167" speaker="coachz">Ahhhh, what else?</line>
  <line start="2168" end="2216" speaker="bubs">—and I just got in this shipment of Strong Bad brand ferret ointment.</line>
  <line start="2217" end="2227" speaker="pompom">bubbles</line>
  <line start="2228" end="2243" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">There he is, The Cheat!</line>
  <line start="2244" end="2261" speaker="bubs">Uh-oh, store's closed.</line>
  <line start="2262" end="2293" speaker="sfx">bounces</line>
  <line start="2294" end="2325" speaker="strongbad">What's up with that trench coat, Bubs?</line>
  <line start="2326" end="2361" speaker="bubs">Oh. Uh... I'm a public flasher!</line>
  <line start="2362" end="2405" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, right. You ain't got no nudity under there! Open 'er up!</line>
  <line start="2406" end="2429" speaker="bubs">Okay, okay, you got me.</line>
  <line start="2430" end="2479" speaker="strongbad">Just as I suspected! Totally legit looking stuff!</line>
  <line start="2480" end="2533" speaker="strongbad">Where are the human noses? The misspellings? The choking hazards?</line>
  <line start="2534" end="2572" speaker="bubs">That's the kind of stuff I usually sell at the concession stand.</line>
  <line start="2573" end="2598" speaker="bubs">This is the black market, man!</line>
  <line start="2599" end="2652" speaker="strongbad">So, wait a minute. Your shady bootleg operation peddles quality goods,</line>
  <line start="2653" end="2691" speaker="strongbad">while your legal store front sells dangerous crap?</line>
  <line start="2692" end="2731" speaker="bubs">Exactly. I got a repatation to uphold!</line>
  <line start="2732" end="2794" speaker="strongbad">Well, in that case... Will The Cheat have an adverse reaction to that ferret ointment?</line>
  <line start="2795" end="2816" speaker="bubs">He'll swell up like a balloon.</line>
  <line start="2817" end="2834" speaker="strongbad">Then give me two cases!</line>
  <line start="2835" end="2845" speaker="thecheat">annoyed The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="2846" end="2883" speaker="strongbad">So, we finally shut down Bubs' operation.</line>
  <line start="2884" end="2926" speaker="strongbad">And not just because he was an unlicensed unlicensed seller either.</line>
  <line start="2927" end="2965" speaker="strongbad">Guess what all those piñatas were stuffed full of....</line>
  <line start="2966" end="2982" speaker="strongbad">Homestar?</line>
  <line start="2983" end="3038" speaker="homestar"><i>(singing)</i> Broken glass, broken glass, broken glass, broken glass!</line>
  <line start="3039" end="3067" speaker="newpaper" sfx="sfx">shuffling noises</line>
  <line start="3085" end="3122" speaker="homestar">That junk was still my best birthdays ever!</line>
  <line start="3148" end="3205" speaker="homestar"><i>(singing)</i> Ugly bird, ugly bird, ugly bird, ugly bird!</line>
</transcript>