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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for underlings. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail171.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="94" speaker="strongbad">My email song! Where would I be without my email song?</line>
  <line start="95" end="115" speaker="strongbad">"Dear... Strong... Bad.</line>
  <line start="116" end="175" speaker="strongbad">"I am a manager and I have been told I must talk to one of my underlings about their stench.</line>
  <line start="176" end="253" speaker="strongbad">"As the foremost expert in dealing with smelly underlings, I ask you, what is the best way to go about this?</line>
  <line start="254" end="293" speaker="strongbad">"I wish to do this with some tact and professionalism.</line>
  <line start="294" end="322" speaker="strongbad">"Sincerely, PlasticDiverGuy...</line>
  <line start="323" end="354" speaker="strongbad">"Dart mouth, Nova Scotia."</line>
  <line start="355" end="425" speaker="strongbad">Man, that show Nova is boring, but I'd watch a show called Dartmouth anyday.</line>
  <line start="430" end="453" speaker="strongbad">Now lemme tell ya PastyDeadGuy, <span style="visibility:hidden">you came to the right man.</span></line>
  <line start="454" end="473" speaker="strongbad">Now lemme tell ya PastyDeadGuy, you came to the right man.</line>
  <line start="474" end="564" speaker="strongbad">I got so many underlings, I've had to deal with nearly every awkward social situation under the awkward social sun.</line>
  <line start="565" end="580" speaker="strongbad">I'm an expoit!</line>
  <line start="586" end="679" speaker="strongbad">Firstly, nothing says tact and professionalism like sending a subtle hint with a hilarious novelty t-shirt.</line>
  <line start="680" end="730" speaker="strongbad">So in your situation, you could just start wearing a shirt that has like...</line>
  <line start="731" end="762" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">some kinda science person on it,</line>
  <line start="763" end="789" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">with a clothespin on his nose,</line>
  <line start="790" end="814" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and underneath it says, <span style="visibility:hidden">"You REEK-a!"</span></line>
  <line start="815" end="832" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and underneath it says, "You REEK-a!"</line>
  <line start="834" end="859" speaker="strongbad">That way, your smelly underling, <span style="visibility:hidden">or smunderling, can get the message from across the room, and you can safely stay out of stink's reach!</span></line>
  <line start="860" end="881" speaker="strongbad">That way, your smelly underling, or smunderling,<span style="visibility:hidden"> can get the message from across the room, and you can safely stay out of stink's reach!</span></line>
  <line start="882" end="939" speaker="strongbad">That way, your smelly underling, or smunderling, can get the message from across the room, and you can safely stay out of stink's reach!</line>
  <line start="940" end="994" speaker="strongbad">You know, I think I'd probably watch a TV show called "Stink's Reach", too.</line>
  <line start="1008" end="1046" speaker="strongbad">Secondly, nothing says tact and professionalism...</line>
  <line start="1047" end="1094" speaker="strongbad">like slowly revealing a sensitive topic to a friend or loved one...</line>
  <line start="1095" end="1123" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">with a clever connect-the-dots puzzle.</line>
  <line start="1127" end="1181"><strongsad voiceover="voiceover">What is he trying to say to me with this cryptic message?</strongsad><!--<text>We're going to need you to flush twice!</text>--></line>
  <line start="1188" end="1228" speaker="strongbad">Furthermore, nothing says pact and trofessionalism...</line>
  <line start="1229" end="1265" speaker="strongbad">like breaking tough news to someone with a reverse sunburn...</line>
  <line start="1266" end="1308" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">on your brother's giant, square, billboard-sized back!</line>
  <line start="1309" end="1365" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">"Your tiny bathing suit demeans us all".</line>
  <line start="1366" end="1400" speaker="coachz">Aw, fine then! I'll take it orf!</line>
  <line start="1410" end="1438" speaker="sfx">humming noise</line>
  <line start="1439" end="1483">
    <sfx>humming noise</sfx>
    <strongmad>PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON!</strongmad>
  <line start="1484" end="1521" speaker="strongbad">Lastly, nothing says tact and professionalism...</line>
  <line start="1522" end="1557" speaker="strongbad">like a hidden message written in condiments.</line>
  <line start="1560" end="1577" speaker="strongbad">Here ya go, chumpion!</line>
  <line start="1578" end="1605" speaker="homestar">Ooh! Thanks, grillmasta!</line>
  <line start="1610" end="1631" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">"You've had that piece"...</line>
  <line start="1632" end="1651" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">"of cilantro"...</line>
  <line start="1652" end="1674" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">"stuck between your teeth"...</line>
  <line start="1675" end="1710" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">"since we ate at that Mexican restaurant"...</line>
  <line start="1711" end="1728" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">"two weeks ago".</line>
  <line start="1737" end="1764" speaker="homestar">Two weeks?!...</line>
  <line start="1764" end="1776" speaker="homestar"><em>TEETH?!</em></line>
  <line start="1777" end="1868" speaker="strongbad">In conclusion, these are just some of the many things that nothing says tact and professionalism like.</line>
  <line start="1869" end="1929" speaker="strongbad">I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.</line>
  <line start="1930" end="1955" speaker="strongbad">If elected class president,</line>
  <line start="1956" end="1995" speaker="strongbad">I can't promise you Coke in the water fountains,</line>
  <line start="1996" end="2045" speaker="strongbad">but I can promise a hard-worker that will make a difference.</line>
  <line start="2046" end="2088" speaker="strongbad">And try to get Mrs. Hardmaster fired.</line>
  <line start="2089" end="2103" speaker="strongbad">AH-UH-AH-UH-HUH!</line>
  <line start="2104" end="2111" speaker="strongbad">Whoa!</line>
  <line start="2112" end="2145" speaker="strongbad">It's like I regressed back to the fifth grade there.</line>
  <line start="2146" end="2182" speaker="strongbad">And the golden days of the five-paragraph essay.</line>
  <line start="2183" end="2224" speaker="strongbad">Well, good luck with your smunderling, PranceyDirtGirl.</line>
  <line start="2225" end="2264" speaker="strongbad">I gotta get started making those 'You Reek-A' t-shirts.</line>
  <line start="2265" end="2288" speaker="strongbad">Those things are gonna be awesome!</line>
  <line start="2289" end="2301" speaker="thepaper">Preeow!</line>
  <line start="2304" end="2346" speaker="sfx">piano music</line>
  <line start="2347" end="2420">
    <sfx>piano music</sfx>
    <announcer voiceover="voiceover">In a town called Stink's Reach, no one's record is clean.</announcer>
  <line start="2421" end="2437">
    <sfx>piano music</sfx>
    <announcer2 voiceover="voiceover">Tuesdays at 8:30.</announcer2>
  <line start="2438" end="2444" speaker="sfx">static</line>
  <line start="2445" end="2468">
    <announcer3 voiceover="voiceover">We now return to Dartmouth!</announcer3>
  <line start="2469" end="2500">
    <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx>
    <other voiceover="voiceover">Dartmouth! He's getting away!</other>
  <line start="2501" end="2529">
    <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx>
    <dartmouth voiceover="voiceover">Stand clear, I know what to do.</dartmouth>
  <line start="2530" end="2550">
    <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx>
    <dartmouth sfx="sfx">retching</dartmouth>
    <sfx>dart whizzes and hits the villain</sfx>
  <line start="2551" end="2574">
    <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx>
    <villain voiceover="voiceover">Ow! Pointy!</villain>
  <line start="2575" end="2636">
    <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx>
    <strongbad sfx="sfx" volume=".9">mumbling</strongbad>
    <strongbad volume=".9">Lost... Vikings...</strongbad>
    <strongbad sfx="sfx" volume=".9">mumbling</strongbad>
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