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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for the movies. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail167.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="18" end="66" speaker="strongbad"><i>(singing)</i> Coach Z is not that cool, here comes an email!</line>
    <line start="71" end="86" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,</line>
    <line start="87" end="139" speaker="strongbad">"I was at the movies last night, and this little girl behind me wouldn't shut up!</line>
    <line start="140" end="166" speaker="strongbad">"Has that ever happened to you?"</line>
    <line start="167" end="189" speaker="strongbad">A person called Cooper, <span style="visibility:hidden">from the city of Franklin, in the state of Tennessee.</span></line>
    <line start="190" end="206" speaker="strongbad">A person called Cooper, from the city of Franklin, <span style="visibility:hidden">in the state of Tennessee.</span></line>
    <line start="207" end="232" speaker="strongbad">A person called Cooper, from the city of Franklin, in the state of Tennessee.</line>
    <line start="235" end="250" speaker="strongbad">Toldja I could do it.</line>
    <line start="251" end="268" speaker="thecheat" voiceover="voiceover">grudging The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="270" end="293" speaker="strongbad">Oh, I feel ya, Coopreme.</line>
    <line start="294" end="341" speaker="strongbad">It's a good thing they make you turn off your bazookas before movies man,</line>
    <line start="342" end="409" speaker="strongbad">or every one of my theater-going experiences would end in smoldering crater fashion.</line>
    <line start="410" end="445" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The experience starts out promising enough...</line>
    <line start="448" end="517" speaker="cardgage">Good eef-ening, Bontilda. Forty-twone will be on your lest.</line>
    <line start="518" end="536" speaker="strongbad">Just you watch, The Cheat!</line>
    <line start="537" end="602" speaker="strongbad">Someday <em>I'm</em> gonna be the one tearin' tickets and tellin' folks that forty-twone will be on their lest!</line>
    <line start="612" end="649" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It begins with the genius who can't resist answering</line>
    <line start="650" end="704" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">the oh-so-challenging film trivia slides they show before the movie.</line>
    <line start="705" end="773" speaker="coachz">Oooh! I know this one! The Brat Pack! Pan-and-scan! Spencer Tracy!</line>
    <line start="774" end="884" speaker="strongbad">Real impressive, Ebert! We've only seen this slide ten times since we all sat down!</line>
    <line start="845" end="893" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">If you answered "B", you're ready for film school.</line>
    <line start="894" end="950" speaker="coachz">Awr, it was "ice cold refreshment!" I shoulda known!</line>
    <line start="962" end="1026" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Be considerate of others. Please turn off your bazookas before the progrum.</line>
    <line start="1027" end="1083" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then, once the movie starts, don't forget the guy who insists on rattling off</line>
    <line start="1084" end="1121" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">the complete filmographies of each of the actors.</line>
    <line start="1124" end="1160" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">But when I returned, the DNA evidence was gone!</line>
    <line start="1161" end="1218" speaker="strongsad">Ooh! And he had a cameo as Stevedore number two in the prequel,</line>
    <line start="1219" end="1266" speaker="strongsad">and he was in that car commercial with the wisecracking transmission,</line>
    <line start="1267" end="1297" speaker="strongsad">and he has a Bacon number of four!</line>
    <line start="1298" end="1320" speaker="strongbad">And <em>THIS</em> is my <em>FIST!!</em></line>
    <line start="1321" end="1397" speaker="strongbad">You might remember it from <cite>Bloodied Pulp: The Amazingly True Story of Your Face in Five Seconds!</cite></line>
    <line start="1401" end="1439" speaker="strongsad">He was in <cite>Dangeresque 1</cite> and <cite>2</cite>.</line>
    <line start="1441" end="1487">
        <thecheat>crunching The Cheat noises</thecheat>
        <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">And if you think the guy sitting next to you munching popcorn is bad,</strongbad>
    <line start="1488" end="1551">
        <thecheat>crunching The Cheat noises</thecheat>
        <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">try going to a theater where people regularly sneak in their own all-you-can-eat fajitas!</strongbad>
    <line start="1556" end="1606" speaker="kingoftown">Whaaaat? This was all in my box of Milk Duds!</line>
    <line start="1610" end="1701" sfx="sfx">Mariachi music</line>
    <line start="1702" end="1754" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And that brings me to the little girl behind me who wouldn't shut up.</line>
    <line start="1755" end="1800" speaker="homestar"><i>(singing)</i> Ever and more! Ever and more! Ever and moooore!</line>
    <line start="1801" end="1837" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">This is the kind of person that likes to talk to the movie.</line>
    <line start="1838" end="1903" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But not in the usual "Don't go in there!" or "Oh, no, he di'n't!" type of way.</line>
    <line start="1904" end="1951" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">He just... made smalltalk with the characters. Chit chat.</line>
    <line start="1952" end="1954" sfx="sfx">boop!</line>
    <line start="1955" end="1977" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">But I figured out their plan!</line>
    <line start="1978" end="2014" speaker="homestar">Yeah, I figured I'd just cut up some iceberg lettuce...</line>
    <line start="2015" end="2032" speaker="homestar">...throw some tomatoes on there...</line>
    <line start="2033" end="2049" speaker="homestar">...maybe a little catalina...</line>
    <line start="2050" end="2071" speaker="homestar">Nothin' fancy, nothin' fancy!</line>
    <line start="2072" end="2074" sfx="sfx">boop!</line>
    <line start="2075" end="2114" speaker="homestar">Oh, man. Have you ever been to a ground breaking?</line>
    <line start="2115" end="2148" speaker="homestar">I mean, what is the point of those things?</line>
    <line start="2149" end="2152" sfx="sfx">boop!</line>
    <line start="2153" end="2174" speaker="homestar">You know where the real money is?</line>
    <line start="2175" end="2184" speaker="homestar">Phone books.</line>
    <line start="2185" end="2187" sfx="sfx">boop!</line>
    <line start="2188" end="2228" speaker="homestar">I wonder how you spell "tabasco"...</line>
    <line start="2231" end="2255" speaker="homestar">Tabascoooo....</line>
    <line start="2256" end="2284" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.2"><em>WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!</em></line>
    <line start="2285" end="2324" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.2"><em>DO YOU NOT NOTICE THE GIANT MOVIE OVER HERE?!</em></line>
    <line start="2325" end="2376" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.2"><em>WERE ALL THE LOCAL SIT-AROUND-AND-SUCK-OUT-LOUD PLACES CLOSED?!</em></line>
    <line start="2377" end="2418" speaker="strongbad"><i>(imitating the Nokia ringtone)</i> Oooh, di-a-lo-do, da-a-lo-do, di-a-lo-do, <span style="visibility:hidden"><em>DIE!!</em></span></line>
    <line start="2418" end="2434" speaker="strongbad"><i>(imitating the Nokia ringtone)</i> Oooh, di-a-lo-do, da-a-lo-do, di-a-lo-do, <em>DIE!!</em></line>
    <line start="2434" end="2443" sfx="sfx">BOOM!</line>
    <line start="2444" end="2481" speaker="strongbad">So, that's why I'm not allowed at the movies anymore.</line>
    <line start="2482" end="2530" speaker="strongbad">But I don't care. I brought my movie viewing into the digital age.</line>
    <line start="2531" end="2561" speaker="strongbad">And I dig-it-all!!!</line>
    <line start="2565" end="2575" speaker="strongbad">Check it out!</line>
    <line start="2617" end="2643" speaker="strongbad" volume=".9">Oh, look out, Mr. Slashyman!</line>
    <line start="2651" end="2676" speaker="strongbad" volume=".9">Ooooh! Something exciting!</line>
    <line start="2684" end="2718" speaker="strongbad" volume=".9">Awww, I guess I'm talking during the movie!</line>
    <line start="2724" end="2745" speaker="strongbad" volume=".9">Kind of a hypocrite!</line>
    <line start="2752" end="2769" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8">Gonna shut up now...</line>
    <line start="2770" end="2781" speaker="thepaper">Preeeow!</line>

<line start="2810" end="2900" speaker="homestar">Oh man. This movie has it all. Cinema has never Luked so Wilson.</line>
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