From Homestar Runner Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search
Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for the facts. watch this toon
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome.
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

en  de  he  es  fr  nl  fi  pl  pt-br  tr

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail114.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="15" end="64" speaker="strongbad">I'm checkin' email, I'm checkin' email. Hey, hey, I'm checkin' email, I'm checkin' email.</line>
    <line start="69" end="154" speaker="strongbad">"Dah Sto Bo, I was just wondering, why doesn't Strong Mad have his own cartoon? Your fan, Jess... G'oh!"</line>
    <line start="159" end="221" speaker="strongbad">Well, Jess, as much as I cherish brother Graw Mad, let's look at the facts:</line>
    <line start="234" end="283" speaker="strongbad">Fact one: The guy's got a pretty tenuous grasp on the English language.</line>
    <line start="291" end="305" speaker="strongbad">For examplé:</line>
    <line start="315" end="363" speaker="strongbad">Hey, Strong Mad! What, uh... What's my favorite movie?</line>
    <line start="370" end="396" speaker="strongmad" voiceover="voiceover">GARBLEDINA!</line>
    <line start="399" end="431" speaker="strongbad">Fact two: Garbledina.</line>
    <line start="444" end="479" speaker="strongbad">Fact three: He's like a big square, this guy.</line>
    <line start="488" end="535" speaker="strongbad">I don't really know if that has anything to do with why he doesn't have his own cartoon.</line>
    <line start="543" end="587" speaker="strongbad">But it's just weird, is all. Un...settling.</line>
    <line start="599" end="628" speaker="strongbad">I guess if he lived in Cubeland, it might work.</line>
    <line start="633" end="697" speaker="strongbad">But... Cubeland is a place I just made up, so... on to fact four.</line>
    <line start="704" end="736" speaker="strongbad">Zero volume control.</line>
    <line start="742" end="763" speaker="strongbad">Once again, obsoive.</line>
    <line start="781" end="834" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.9">Hey, biggest bro. Mom says to keep it down 'cause baby Strong Sad's sleeping.</line>
    <line start="843" end="883" speaker="strongmad">I CAN BE THE QUIETEST MOUSE!</line>
    <line start="888" end="927" speaker="strongmad">I LIVE IN THE QUIETEST HOUSE!</line>
    <line start="939" end="982" speaker="strongbad">Fact five: Directorial inexperience.</line>
    <line start="989" end="1038" speaker="strongbad">Considering the only movie Strong Mad's ever made is 'Doug the Dino,'</line>
    <line start="1043" end="1083" speaker="strongbad">I doubt he'd be able to handle an entire cartoon on his own.</line>
    <line start="1093" end="1115" speaker="strongmad" voiceover="voiceover">DINOSAUR!</line>
    <line start="1310" end="1399" speaker="strongbad">Y'see? Misguided direction, no comedic timing, and the script is riddled with gaping plot holes.</line>
    <line start="1411" end="1456" speaker="strongbad">And finally, Fact 6: Have you seen his computer?</line>
    <line start="1461" end="1515" speaker="strongmad">E-COMMERCE! E-BUSINESS!</line>
    <line start="1525" end="1551" speaker="strongbad">So let's review. Fact 1: Ehgh-</line>
    <line start="1552" end="1571" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">I want my own cartoon, Strong Bad.</line>
    <line start="1572" end="1591" speaker="strongbad">What? I'm over here!</line>
    <line start="1594" end="1620" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">Oh. I want my own cartoon, Pom Pom.</line>
    <line start="1621" end="1656" speaker="strongbad">Homestar, a cartoon starring you would be horrible.</line>
    <line start="1660" end="1728" speaker="strongbad">It'd just be you saying "Sewiously" all the time and acting like a moron... all the time.</line>
    <line start="1734" end="1778" speaker="homestar">No, no! Not no more! I got a new catchphrase!</line>
    <line start="1783" end="1787" speaker="strongbad">No.</line>
    <line start="1788" end="1794" speaker="homestar">You wanna hear it?</line>
    <line start="1795" end="1801" speaker="strongbad">No!</line>
    <line start="1804" end="1834" speaker="homestar">I'd be all the time sayin' "That's bupkis!"</line>
    <line start="1838" end="1863" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">Oh, sorry. "That's bupkis!"</line>
    <line start="1864" end="1879" speaker="strongbad">What are you whispering for?</line>
    <line start="1881" end="1936" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">Because! Baby Strong Sad is sleeping!</line>
    <line start="1940" end="2002" speaker="strongbad">Now, you see this disgusting little chit-chat we're having here? This is what your cartoon would be like.</line>
    <line start="2005" end="2052" speaker="homestar">Then it'd be a number one hit! And that's the end of my show! DONK!</line>
    <line start="2055" end="2070" speaker="thepaper">Preeeow!</line>
    <line start="2071" end="2078" speaker="strongbad">Hey!</line>
    <line start="2091" end="2120" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar Runner will be right right back!</line>
    <line start="2122" end="2151" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar Runner will be right right back!</line>
    <line start="2153" end="2181" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar Runner will be right right back!</line>
    <line start="2184" end="2212" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">We're coming right back after these messages!</line>
    <line start="2216" end="2252" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">We're coming right back after these messageeeees...</line>
Personal tools