Subtitles:sbemail112/en

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These are the English subtitles for old comics. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail112.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="15" end="65" speaker="strongbad">Let's get it over with! With the e-mail style, get it over with!</line>
    <line start="73" end="160" speaker="strongbad">"hey Sib, Why does the king of town have a poopsmith? your friend, zack, west is lip, NY"</line>
    <line start="165" end="225" speaker="strongbad">Whoa! West is lip. Sounds like some kind of British New Wave band.</line>
    <line start="229" end="292" speaker="strongbad">"And coming in this week at #4, it's those androgynous boys from Hertfordshire,</line>
    <line start="294" end="342" speaker="strongbad">West Is Lip with their hit single <cite>She Partied Without Dancing</cite>."</line>
    <line start="344" end="407" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">She partied without dancing. She partied with my heart.</line>
    <line start="418" end="459" speaker="strongbad">Anyways, Jack, the King of Town's just always had a Poopsmith.</line>
    <line start="462" end="515" speaker="strongbad">Even way back when they got their start as an old syndicated newspaper comic.</line>
    <line start="517" end="576" speaker="strongbad">You know, back when comics didn't seem to need jokes or humor</line>
    <line start="584" end="613" speaker="strongbad">or readers under the age of ninety-one.</line>
    <line start="619" end="648" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It was called <cite>The Castlefunnies</cite>,</line>
    <line start="651" end="678" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">which I guess was a pathetic attempt by the authors</line>
    <line start="679" end="709" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">to fool you into thinking it was actually funny.</line>
    <line start="713" end="775" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It mostly featured the King of Town complaining about his ailing hip joints to the Poopsmith.</line>
    <line start="779" end="823" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Talking a lot about ointments... and salves.</line>
    <line start="833" end="886" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Back then, it was considered a form of treason to print the word "poop" in the paper,</line>
    <line start="889" end="931" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">so instead they called the Poopsmith "Mushy Chamberpot",</line>
    <line start="937" end="964" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">which is actually pretty funny sounding.</line>
    <line start="968" end="1019" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Anyways, Mushy could only talk in word clouds filled with commas,</line>
    <line start="1024" end="1084" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">which I think had just been discovered and were apparently considered comic gold.</line>
    <line start="1088" end="1137" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh yeah, I can see why this masterwork took two dudes to write it.</line>
    <line start="1139" end="1164" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">One to not think of something funny,</line>
    <line start="1168" end="1198" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and the other to think of something not funny. </line>
    <line start="1209" end="1239" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">So later on, as readership began to dwindle,</line>
    <line start="1242" end="1297" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">they'd throw me and Homestar in there as guests in hopes of mooching off our popularity.</line>
    <line start="1300" end="1320" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It worked for maybe a week or so,</line>
    <line start="1321" end="1372" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">but then the strip was sadly canceled when the last living reader,</line>
    <line start="1374" end="1422" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">a Civil War veteran and creamed corn enthusiast, died.</line>
    <line start="1444" end="1476" speaker="strongbad">They tried to creep back into the mainstream years later</line>
    <line start="1477" end="1529" speaker="strongbad">with the release of the "King Castlefunny Pencil Moistener?!"</line>
    <line start="1534" end="1619" speaker="strongbad">But, considering, the Dry Pencil Scare of '47 only lasted 3 days, they didn't sell too many.</line>
    <line start="1628" end="1705" speaker="strongbad">Well, Zack, there you have it. The King of Town still wasn't funny. What a surprise.</line>
    <line start="1714" end="1828" speaker="strongbad">I'm going to start the Who Put Pasta Salad in Strong Mad's Underdrawer Drawer Scare of '04. Or. And I'm out.</line>
    <line start="1896" end="1937" speaker="strongmad">IT TASTES SO GOOD!</line>
</transcript>