Subtitles:porridgemaiden/en
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<transcript xml:lang="en-us">
<line start="23" end="44" speaker="other">And now, Strong Bad-</line>
<line start="45" end="51">
<other>And now, Strong Bad-</other>
<strongbad>-Butchers the-</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="52" end="60">
<other>And now, Strong Bad-</other>
<strongbad>-Butchers the-</strongbad>
<other>-Classics.</other>
</line>
<line start="67" end="73" speaker="strongbad"><em>(clears his throat)</em></line>
<line start="79" end="114" speaker="strongbad">An uppity welcome, and distinguished hello to you all.</line>
<line start="120" end="160" speaker="strongbad">Today, I will be butchering one of Strong Sad's all-time favorites,</line>
<line start="166" end="200" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><em>The Ocelot and the <strong>Porridge Maiden?</strong></em></line>
<line start="208" end="225" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The crap's a porridge maiden?</line>
<line start="243" end="306" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Once there was a Horrid Maiden who lived in Meadowlark Lemon's duffel bag from the 70's.</line>
<line start="326" end="360" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"I hate Mondays," thought an ocelot.</line>
<line start="363" end="385" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Sup, Jim Davis's lawyers?</line>
<line start="410" end="435" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"Rob Morrow to you," said the ocelot.</line>
<line start="439" end="503" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"You must find a husband by sunrise or Doom 2 bad guys will come out of my ears!"</line>
<line start="508" end="550" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover" sfx="sfx">mimicking gun and explosion noises</line>
<line start="561" end="600" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">So, she went to see the Statue of Liberty's deadbeat cousin.</line>
<line start="605" end="625" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"Will you marry me?" she asked.</line>
<line start="631" end="660" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"I am a huddled mass," he said.</line>
<line start="679" end="712" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Next, she optic-blasted the Smithybot.</line>
<line start="717" end="734" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"Voip!" she voiped.</line>
<line start="739" end="778" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"Save yourself little Beep Boop!" he said.</line>
<line start="792" end="818" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then she tucked in the Lum Swooper.</line>
<line start="824" end="862" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"Will you please stop sleeping with that lamp?" she asked.</line>
<line start="865" end="905" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"It's okay. I am married to it," he said.</line>
<line start="921" end="950" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">She even went to the Creepo Depot.</line>
<line start="954" end="996" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"Will you marry me?" asked low poly-count Porridge Maiden.</line>
<line start="1002" end="1039" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"I am a marionette," he slimed.</line>
<line start="1056" end="1137" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">When she could not find a husband, the Porridge Maiden sat by a punk rock giant to watch the wicked solos.</line>
<line start="1139" end="1151" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover" sfx="sfx">makes electric guitar sounds</line>
<line start="1165" end="1216" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">At dawn, the ocelot found her head and poured her a drink.</line>
<line start="1220" end="1249" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"One for my pah'tnuh!" said the Ocelot.</line>
<line start="1271" end="1313" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">In the underworld, she refused to be defined by her famous husband</line>
<line start="1314" end="1367" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and started a successful business knitting lifehacks out of recycled blogs.</line>
<line start="1384" end="1438" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And that is why baked ocelot is always served at weddings.</line>
<line start="1441" end="1454" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The End.</line>
<line start="1462" end="1488" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I don't really have anything I'd change about that one.</line>
<line start="1495" end="1513" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">'Cept I'd probably make it... <span style="visibility:hidden">broached ocelot.</span></line>
<line start="1514" end="1528" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">'Cept I'd probably make it... broached ocelot.</line>
<line start="1533" end="1548" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(drugged)</em> Brooooaaached?</line>
<line start="1551" end="1596" speaker="strongsad"><em>(drugged)</em> You can't make up no words say broached!</line>
<line start="1600" end="1643" speaker="strongbad">Uh, Strong Sad, did you have your wisdom teeth out again?</line>
<line start="1644" end="1692" speaker="strongsad"><em>(drugged)</em> You know it! Every summer like clockwoik!</line>
<line start="1693" end="1730" speaker="strongbad">Oh-ho-ho-okay, let's get you out of here.</line>
<line start="1734" end="1760" speaker="strongbad">And in front of a camera as soon as possible.</line>
<line start="1770" end="1814" speaker="strongsad"><em>(drugged)</em> You can't brother me down, Mrs. Strong Fast!</line>
<line start="1815" end="1855" speaker="strongsad"><em>(drugged)</em> I favorited you on my Facebroach!</line>
<line start="1857" end="1874" speaker="strongbad">Of course you did.</line>
<line start="1935" end="1943" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then, <span style="visibility:hidden">blender time! <em>(imitates blender noise)</em> For smoothe! -ies. Smoothies. Sorry, that w- that was kind of a stretch.</span></line>
<line start="1944" end="1960" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then, blender time! <span style="visibility:hidden"><em>(imitates blender noise)</em> For smoothe! -ies. Smoothies. Sorry, that w- that was kind of a stretch.</span></line>
<line start="1961" end="1982" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then, blender time! <em>(imitates blender noise)</em> <span style="visibility:hidden">For smoothe! -ies. Smoothies. Sorry, that w- that was kind of a stretch.</span></line>
<line start="1983" end="2001" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then, blender time! <em>(imitates blender noise)</em> For smoothe! <span style="visibility:hidden">-ies. Smoothies. Sorry, that w- that was kind of a stretch.</span></line>
<line start="2002" end="2016" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then, blender time! <em>(imitates blender noise)</em> For smoothe! -ies. <span style="visibility:hidden">Smoothies. Sorry, that w- that was kind of a stretch.</span></line>
<line start="2017" end="2033" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then, blender time! <em>(imitates blender noise)</em> For smoothe! -ies. Smoothies. <span style="visibility:hidden">Sorry, that w- that was kind of a stretch.</span></line>
<line start="2034" end="2067" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then, blender time! <em>(imitates blender noise)</em> For smoothe! -ies. Smoothies. Sorry, that w- that was kind of a stretch.</line>
<line start="2076" end="2112" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Now, what was it you were saying out loud again, Strong Sad?</line>
<line start="2115" end="2153" speaker="strongsad"><em>(drugged)</em> Oh, this is a lucrative arrangement.</line>
<line start="2154" end="2162" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You think so?</line>
<line start="2163" end="2186" speaker="strongsad"><em>(drugged)</em> Iiii'm provost.</line>
<line start="2187" end="2192" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Wait, what?</line>
<line start="2193" end="2207" speaker="strongsad"><em>(drugged)</em> Provost!</line>
<line start="2208" end="2216" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh yeah?</line>
<line start="2217" end="2242" speaker="strongsad"><em>(drugged)</em> Put more jets in my mouth.</line>
<line start="2243" end="2249" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Say again?</line>
<line start="2250" end="2277" speaker="strongsad"><em>(drugged)</em> See? There's lots of room!</line>
<line start="2285" end="2298" speaker="strongsad" sfx="sfx">gurgling moaning sound</line>
<line start="2299" end="2324">
<strongsad><em>(gurgling moaning sound)</em></strongsad>
<strongbad>Alright, now this is just making me feel weird. </strongbad>
</line>
</transcript>
