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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="answer9.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="20" end="89" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Hi, this is M-A-R-Z-I-P-A-N. Please leave me a message after the B-E-E-P.</line>
  <line start="92" end="98" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="107" end="128" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Hello Marzipan, it's the King of Town.</line>
  <line start="139" end="185" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Look, I need to know if it's still Thanksgiving.</line>
  <line start="193" end="252" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Um, I really, really need it to still be Thanksgiving.</line>
  <line start="258" end="335" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Like, I fear for my personal safety if it's not Thanksgiving still.</line>
  <line start="338" end="392" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">And if not... then, is it next Thanksgiving yet?</line>
  <line start="398" end="438" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, if you could get back to me as soon as possible that'd be great.</line>
  <line start="441" end="448" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="457" end="527" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Good mornin', Marzipan. This is your cable man... uh, Cableman Jorge.</line>
  <line start="534" end="558" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Just calling you regarding your service.</line>
  <line start="568" end="624" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">We need you to do a little routine maintenance on it, so go ahead and buy, like,</line>
  <line start="625" end="706" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">a hundred-foot spool of coaxial cable and run it off your cable box and out the window</line>
  <line start="713" end="750" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and give it a toss in the general direction of Strong Bad's house.</line>
  <line start="760" end="822" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And while you're at it, you may want to go ahead and upgrade to the premium package</line>
  <line start="824" end="879" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">which includes all the pay channels... and the Olympic triplecast.</line>
  <line start="886" end="938" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">So... get that done for us, we'll be- we'll be much obliged.</line>
  <line start="948" end="988" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Tenderly, I remain... Cableman Jorge.</line>
  <line start="996" end="1003" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="1011" end="1058" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Hey there, Marzipan. It's the lyrical wondermind, Coach Z.</line>
  <line start="1067" end="1116" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Calling to ask you if, uh, you seen one of my discotapes...</line>
  <line start="1118" end="1142" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I think I left over there.</line>
  <line start="1152" end="1227" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Uh, it's one of my most favorite discotapes and I'd really like it back so, I'm gonna come...</line>
  <line start="1229" end="1333" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I'm just gonna head on over there, uh, and if you're not there I'll just let myself in the crack in the window like I usually do...</line>
  <line start="1336" end="1392" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I mean... not... I never do, because I've never snuck into your house before.</line>
  <line start="1394" end="1440" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I mean, who's sneakin' over here? Nobody. I'm creepin'.</line>
  <line start="1457" end="1495" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Have you tried these new crazy curly fries?</line>
  <line start="1497" end="1511" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I mean, they're crazy!</line>
  <line start="1514" end="1571" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">It's like a french fry, but it's all curled up into a curlied-Q!</line>
  <line start="1585" end="1589" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="1592" end="1642" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">eating chips</line>
  <line start="1648" end="1694" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh... hey Marzipan. This is that guy Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1700" end="1739" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um... so I was just reading on my Internet...</line>
  <line start="1758" end="1797" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">about how tofu is made from little baby seals.</line>
  <line start="1815" end="1901" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Yeah, so like, all this time, you've been eatin', um, little baby seals. So what?</line>
  <line start="1911" end="1993" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I guess you're gonna keel over, at like, any second now at the thought of all these little baby seals running around in your stomach.</line>
  <line start="2001" end="2059" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I mean, that's just gross. Just plain old gross.</line>
  <line start="2070" end="2127" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">So in conclusion... you should listen to your cable man.</line>
  <line start="2176" end="2182" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="2199" end="2265" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">So I just got this message you left for me on Pom Pom's cell phone telling me to go away and pick up sticks.</line>
  <line start="2275" end="2301" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Well I say that is <em>garbage</em>, sister!</line>
  <line start="2309" end="2351" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Having to put up with you is like having to put up with <em>garbage</em>!</line>
  <line start="2363" end="2426" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I don't know where you get off, but it's definitely not at the Homestar Station anymore.</line>
  <line start="2431" end="2481" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Looks like you're riding the 7:30 alone train to <em>Aloneville</em>.</line>
  <line start="2486" end="2540" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Making stops at Ex-Girlfriend Junction and West <em>Breakin' up with You</em>!</line>
  <line start="2556" end="2590" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, and you can keep the collector's plates!</line>
  <line start="2593" end="2597" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="2615" end="2693" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, so after a second listening under the tutelage of Pom Pom's keen ears,</line>
  <line start="2698" end="2758" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">it appears that you were asking me to go to Richway and pick up some Hefty bags,</line>
  <line start="2761" end="2787" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">not to go away and pick up sticks.</line>
  <line start="2795" end="2855" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">And now that I think about it, I don't really know what that would have meant even if you had said that.</line>
  <line start="2861" end="2943" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">So, best thing to do is... to go back and not listen to that message, and then we've got nothing to worry about.</line>
  <line start="2947" end="2960" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, wait... in fact...</line>
  <line start="2964" end="3010" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">imitating rewinding tape noises</line>
  <line start="3013" end="3039" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, there. I think I reversed it.</line>
  <line start="3043" end="3062" speaker="pompom" voiceover="voiceover">bubbles</line>
  <line start="3065" end="3107" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">What? What do you mean that doesn't work?</line>
  <line start="3107" end="3128" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"> Oh crap.</line>
  <line start="3193" end="3254" speaker="homestar">All's I gotta do is switch out the tapes and none will be the wiser.</line>

  <line start="3284" end="3376" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating Marzipan)</i> Oh, hey, this is Marzipan... and, um... leave a message after my beeps. Beep.</line>
  <line start="3383" end="3425" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating Strong Bad)</i> Oh, hey, Marzipan. This is the Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="3430" end="3558" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Uh... go around... go around with doo doo on your head... 'cause it could be funny. Okay, bye. Beep!</line>
  <line start="3570" end="3602" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating Coach Z)</i> Hey there, Marzipan. This is Coach Z.</line>
  <line start="3616" end="3672" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I was just wonderin' why you weren't at field hockey practice today.</line>
  <line start="3682" end="3807" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Um... great job. Oh, I mean... great job. Oh, I mean... great job. Boop!</line>
  <line start="3813" end="3862" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating himself)</i> Hey there, Marzipan, this is your boyfriend, Homestar Runner.</line>
  <line start="3864" end="3906" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">You're the best girlfriend I ever had. Let's have a marriage.</line>
  <line start="3908" end="3955" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Let's have a marriage license. Okay, bye. Boop!</line>
  <line start="3960" end="4009" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating Strong Sad)</i> Oh, hey Marzipan this is Strong Sad.</line>
  <line start="4017" end="4080" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Um... some animal died. Boop!</line>
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