Strong Badia the Free Walkthrough
From Homestar Runner Wiki
- Spoiler warning: Plot or ending details follow.
A description of events will be written in plaintext.
- Mandatory actions will be bulleted and written in boldface.
- Actions that increase your awesomeness rating, but are not mandatory, will be bulleted and written in plaintext.
- Optional actions that might help you understand the scene will be bulleted and written in italics.
House of Strong
Strong Bad receives an e-mail from "Roy T." at "Castle Hill" asking about the King of Town's ruling practices. After slagging the King and concluding his e-mail with a statement about the King's "lazy faire" methods of governing, none other than KoT himself runs in and announces Strong Bad to be under arrest for failure to pay the new e-mail tax: one Creamy Ding Snack Cake for every e-mail sent or received (which is news to Strong Bad - BAD news). As punishment, a collar is placed around Strong Bad's neck, an invisible fence is set up outside his front door, and his map is confiscated and consumed, meaning he's stuck in the house until the fence and collar are de-activated.
- Go to the window of the computer room. Marzipan, Strong Mad, Homestar, The Cheat, and Coach Z have gathered outside to protest matters.
- Ask about the stick by the fence. It's an
orfigy arfigy RPG first person shootereffigy of the King of Town, but it doesn't look enough like him for them to burn it.
- Leave the window and check your diagram from the intro. Looks like the effigy is missing a few items.
- Go to Strong Sad's room. Strike up a conversation, calling him names in the process.
- Ask Strong Sad about the fence outside. He'll start to tell you how to circumvent it before realizing that doing so might be illegal. Further pleading will only gain you another hilarious Strong Sad name.
- Go to the bathroom and grab Strong Mad's red towel.
- Look at the shower to call Strong Sad another name.
- Head downstairs to Strong Bad's room. On the way, grab the eyepatch from the box of Cheat Commandos O's in the kitchen.
- Grab the crown off of his bookcase.
- Snatch the Black Metal Detector and shovel while you're there.
- Optionally, play some Math Kickers, and look at the drawing table. Turns out he's out of drawing paper.
- Head downstairs.
- Grab the pillow from atop the washing machine.
- Look in the dryer to find a pair of Camo-Pants.
- There's also some loose stuffing in the couch. Take that too.
- On your way back upstairs, use the pillow on Strong Sad to call him another name.
- Race back up to the computer room and back to the protesters. Give them the stuffing, towel, pillow, and crown, in any order.
The Cheat assembles the items on the "effigy", using the stuffing for a beard, the crown as the crown, the pillow as bulk, and the towel as a robe. Now the effigy of the King of Town looks like the real deal, and the mob demands a sacrifice. Even Marzipan concedes it might help. As Strong Sad predicted, the fire destroys the fence and renders your collar useless. You're outta here!
Strong Bad assembles the forces in Strong Badia, informing them that he has seceded from the Municipality of Free Country, USA, and the rule of "The Of Town". He further calls for open rebellion. The call works, but not as Strong Bad anticipated: everyone forms their own independent lands and Free Country USA is split into many different autonomies - including having a piece of your nation sliced from you by The Cheat! D'OH!
Well, this calls for world domination, then...
Strong Badia / The Cheat & Tirerea
- Grab the game board from in front of the sign. Strong Bad will alter it to look like a map.
- Go to the game box and find the play money lying around. Strong Bad will take it as actual currency.
- Talk to The Cheat and find out he, too, has seceded, dividing Strong Badia into civil war. Mention re-unification, and the Cheat will feel like he's been pushed around. Offer the Cheat the Vice-Presidency, and he'll demand tangible proof.
- While you're here, dig around with the Detector and find... a power strip?
- Dig around on the opposite side of Strong Badia to find some of Gampaw's old war medals.
- Head to the House of Strong, which is now known as Bleak House.
Checkpoint: If you have done all of the above you should have the Taranchula Metal Detector, a power strip, and some Strong Badian currency in your inventory. You should also have the map, with Strong Badia in red, have called Strong Sad four names, and have found three costume items.
- Check the package at the door. It's a special pin from Trans-Place Airlines, congratulating Strong Bad on surviving their flight
without cryingand landing the plane while making out with stewardesses.
- Snoop around with the Detector and find... a 3-ring binder? Okay, then.
- Check the mailbox to find a page to Strong Bad's Math Kickers manual. His foresight is amazing!
- Go inside to Strong Sad's room.
Strong Sad will inform you that he's formed a constitutional monarchy, complete with Bill of Rights and flag.
- Converse with him a while and call him a few more names. He'll also give you an idea for making your subjects feel more important.
- Take his fake sword from by the bed.
- Use the fake sword on Strong Sad. You'll call him another name.
- Offer Strong Sad the pilot wings. He won't get them, but you'll call him another name, if you haven't already.
- Look under the box on his bed and find a Bleak House flag.
- Check his bookcase to pick up an ancient scroll with a great Teen Girl Squad idea.
- You're done here, for now. Race back to Strong Badia.
Checkpoint: You should have added a three-ring binder, TPA medal, and fake sword to your inventory. You'll have one Teen Girl Squad card, the cover to your Algebros Manual, and the Bleak House souvenir flag. You should also have one character at attention and have called Strong Sad eight names.
Strong Badia / The Cheat & Tirerea
- Give the Cheat the pin.
It worked! The Cheat feels special after you use the pin to deputize him Chief of Police. Civil War is over in Strong Badia! On top of this, The Cheat returns your not-BMW-due-to-copyright-purposes-but-still-a lighter that he used to start the effigy. Good times!
- Poke around behind the tire to find a The Cheat & Tirerea flag.
- Burn the Maps and Minions box with your lighter.
Checkpoint: You'll have exchanged the TPA medal with the lighter, gained a flag from The Cheat and Tirerea, and set one item on fire.
All right, now that Strong Badia is unified, let's get to conquering! Note that the following three nations can be visited in any order.
- Go to Strong Bad's bedroom and set fire to his bed(?) with your lighter.
- In the living room, use the lighter on the smoke detector. Not hearing it go off reassures you that you're 0% safe.
- While we're burning random crap, use your lighter on the barred window to get another Teen Girl Squad idea.
- Return to Strong Sad's room.
- Burn his flag, Constitution, and Bill of Rights in any order.
With no proof of authority over Bleak House, it becomes a battle of wills between Strong Bad and Strong Sad, and that's a lopsided contest if ever there was one. Bleak House is conquered!
- Talk to Strong Sad after *ahem* conquering his nation to call him another name.
Concessionstantinople, and other The Field nations
- Talk to Bubs. He'll tell you his concession stand is a neutral country only interested in the economy.
- Ask about what you can buy, and he'll sell you a (malfunctioning) Strong Bad doll for your play money. The doll causes Strong Bad to shake uncontrollably.
- At this point, an option for the "black market" appears. Ask Bubs about it, and he'll slyly claim he knows nothing while making it clear he does.
- End the conversation and walk around back.
- Knock on Bubs' back door. Sure enough, there's the black market.
- Ask about weapons, artifacts, and organs. He's not into weapons much (and Coach Z has them anyway), he's out of organs (but would love to get his "hands" on one), and he has a single artifact from Homsar -- for trade only, no sale.
- Leave the Concession stand and poke around in the bush behind it. You'll find a Concessionstantinople flag.
- Stroll around the Field. Look under the box by the Picket Fence for an Algebros Manual page.
- Head to The Stick and use the Detector to find... erm, a tuning fork?
- Out of curiosity, ring the tuning fork. Sounds like Homsar.
- Walk behind the Brick Wall to find a Strong Badian flag.
Upon entering the club, you see Pom Pom chilling in the corner near some Japanese artifacts: a katana and two kimonos. DJ Teh Cheat is playing a Geddup Noise remix, and Bubs is tending bar.
- Talk to Pom Pom. He'll refuse an alliance because he doesn't think you're stylish enough. The nerve!
- Use your lighter on the leftmost kimono to set it on fire.
- Head over to Bubs and ask about how to impress Pom Pom. He'll tell you it's all in the dance.
- Go to DJ Teh Cheat's stash of glowsticks and grab one.
- Head back to Bubs and ask for "the brightest, glowiest drink in the house".
- Drop the glowstick in the drink. Now THAT'S glowy!
- Take your super-glow drink.
Strong Bad will head with it to the dance floor and bedazzle the club occupants. Pom Pom agrees to an alliance, and Strong Bad didn't have to do any dancing (which is probably a good thing)! Two down, three to go!
- Head back to Bubs and ask for a "special" energy drink. (You may have to ask twice.) Bubs will throw in a Pompomerania flag for free.
- Look under the box next to the bar to find another Algebros manual page.
The next two countries, the Homsar Reservation and COUNTRY, can be visited in any order. You will automatically visit Marzistar/Homezipan in between them. It is recommended that you visit them in the following order.
Checkpoint: Your inventory should now contain the metal detector, a power strip, a three-ring binder, your former-BMW lighter, a Strong Bad doll, a tuning fork, and a fake sword. (Don't worry, you'll be coming back for the real one soon.) You should now have two TGS cards, three Algebros Manual pages, and five flags. You'll have set seven items on fire, have called Strong Sad nine names, and found three costume items.
Strong Bad brings Strong Sad and Strong Sad's incurable whininess along with him to the Homsar Reservation to serve as a cultural advisor. Strong Sad brought along a first aid kit, his luggage, and hypochondria.
- Check the bush behind Homsar to get a Homsar Reservation flag.
- Use your lighter on that same bush to burn it.
- View the cave painting on the left to launch Cave Girl Squad.
- Use the Detector around here to find another Cave Girl Squad idea.
- Show Strong Sad the Tuning Fork to call him another name.
- Talk to Strong Sad. Mention a Cold One and Strong Sad will panic, since he thinks he drank contaminated water.
- At this point, ask him about his health until he spills the beans: he thinks he has acute aphasic pretendicitis. Its symptoms are fever, shaking, and inability to comprehend language. The only cure is a pretendectomy.
- Use the lighter on his first aid kit. Strong Sad will take his temperature and think he has a very bad fever.
- Give Strong Sad the malfunctioning doll. Strong Bad will slip it in Strong Sad's fanny pack, causing Strong Sad to think he's got the shakes.
- Go back to talk to Homsar and select the derby hat option. Strong Bad will pretend to speak Homsar's language, and Strong Sad will overhear it and think he's gone insane.
Strong Sad rushes off to get the pretendectomy. When he returns, he announces he was allowed to keep his organ in a jar.
- Take the organ.
- Use the fake sword on Strong Sad again to call him another name.
- Offer the organ to Bubs. He'll tell you that it's not "legitimate business".
- Go to the black market and offer it again.
Bubs accepts the pretendix and trades it for the artifact: a pottery shard. Looks like he got the better end of the deal, but looks are deceiving.
- Now that you've called Strong Sad another name, swing by Pompomerania.
- Use the fake sword on the real one. Strong Bad will swap them out right under Pom Pom's, um, nose.
- Go back to the Homsar Reservation.
- Use the shard on the "mysterious pylon".
Some weird light show goes off, and the red light on the pylon is now lit.
- Talk to Homsar about the pylon. He still speaks mostly gibberish, but you make out the words "sacred elemental items".
- One by one, drop the power strip, 3-ring binder, and tuning fork into the pylon. Each time you add an item, the yellow, purple and green lights light up.
Whoa — the ground is rumbling, and suddenly you feel lighter — and enlightened! Of course! You've unlocked the secrets of Homsar!
- Talk to Homsar again. This time he makes perfect sense! Ask about joining Strong Badia, and he'll accept.
When you leave the conversation, Strong Bad and Homsar will perform an ancient ritual together. The pylon explodes and the cave opens. Although Homsar is back to his non-sequitastic self, the alliance is strong and full! Let's go on!
Upon arriving, you see Pom Pom, The Cheat, Strong Sad, and either Homsar or Strong Mad waiting alongside Marzipan and Homestar. Marzipan isn't too thrilled to see you.
- Use the Detector in the backyard near the onions to pick up a flag of Marzistar.
- Talk to Strong Sad to call him another name.
- Talk to Marzipan. She informs you she's signed a non-aggression treaty with the Municipality and will refuse to allow Strong Badia's army through.
- Ask about the display behind Marzipan. It's a "model United Nations", depicting cultural oddities from all civilized leaders (and Coach Z).
- Talk to Homestar. He's more willing to listen to your offers, but he needs to put the Homestarmy back together.
- Ask about the Homestarmy, and he'll tell you he needs five recruits to complete it. Strong Sad, Pom Pom, and Homsar are three of them. (The Cheat doesn't count for whatever reason.) He says he may need the draft to fill out the roster.
- You can ask him to run the draft, but it invariably lands on one of the Bennedettos. He won't draft any more of them, for one reason or another. There's not much more you can do here, for now.
- On your way out, look in Marzipan's mailbox for the last Algebros Manual page.
- Head on over to Country.
Welcome to Strong Mad's country, eloquently named "Country". Yup, looks like Strong Mad is being held back another year. Strong Bad tries to get Strong Mad's help, but Strong Mad isn't articulate enough to carry on much of a conversation. Fortunately, The Cheat shows up to "translate".
- Use the Detector near the flagpole to get a Country flag. That's all 8!
- Ask Strong Mad (via the Cheat) how to gain an alliance.
Strong Mad wants to test the valor of Strong Bad. Strong Bad must now pass a test. And by "pass a test", we mean "slay a monster". And by "monster", we mean "Strong Mad standing behind a Taranchula cardboard cutout."
- Use the sword on one of the heads. Strong Mad will promptly re-attach it.
- Set the pile of skulls on fire. That's better.
- Set the lone skull and lonely skull on fire while you're at it.
- Slash the fire head (on the left). Strong Mad will work on re-attaching it, and while he does...
- Slash the ice head. It'll fall into the bonfire and be consumed. Strong Mad will react by spurting ketchup from the wound, and as he does...
- Slash the fire head again. It falls into the river!
The monster is slain! Strong Bad and Strong Mad are re-united. Strong Mad gives Strong Bad a gift: Tony Stony, his "Vice-President". Well, whatever works. Let's see if this is enough.
Checkpoint: By now your inventory will contain the metal detector, the lighter, the katana, and Tony Stony. You should have three Teen Girl Squad cards, all four manual pages, and all eight flags. You'll have set eleven items on fire, have called Strong Sad twelve names, and found three costume items.
- Ask Homestar if you have enough people now. You're still one person short.
- If you run the draft again at this point, it will always land on one of the Benedettos. Homestar refuses to draft any of them.
- Place Tony Stony in Strong Badia's slot on the model UN.
- Try running the draft. You'll notice the wheel jerks to a stop at Homestar Runner — who, obviously, can't draft himself (and nearly starts a riot with himself trying). But when the wheel turns back around, Tony Stony's on the bottom. A-ha! The model UN and the wheel are connected! All you have to do is put Tony Stony in the right place!
- Put Tony Stony in Pompomerania's shelf (the Bull Honkey caffeinergy sauce) to activate Li'l Brudder for a hilarious scene.
- Move Tony Stony to Poopslovakia's shelf.
- Run the draft again. Coach Z is drafted!
Now Homestar has the five men he needs for his army. Marzipan sees the draft being held, and she's none too happy with this development. Homestar gives her a piece of his mind, and they end up dividing their land, dropping Marzipan out of the picture. Now, all the recruits are lined up, and Homestar merely waits your word to attack.
Strong Bad will pace back and forth in front of his recruits, with Col-o-nel Homestar on the side. Clicking on any recruit will allow Strong Bad to do his best sadistic drill sergeant impression on them. This will get the character to stand at attention, adding to your Awesomeness score. Talking to all five men — or, alternately, just clicking on Homestar — will signal your readiness. Let the invasion begin!
Homestar details the invasion in a flashback sequence. The Cheat and Coach Z deserted early on, making things more difficult. But he promises he will complete this soon and return to Marzipan's side...
...oh, wait, he's being stupid again. Turns out the invasion lasted all of five minutes and the King of Town surrendered way too easily. That was a week ago, and right now Strong Bad is bored out of his mind. Strong Mad won't let him leave the castle, either. Only Homestar and Strong Sad are there to keep Strong Bad company, which is worse than if he'd been alone. Time to reverse fortune back!
The King of Town's Castle
Ye find yeself in yon castle. Obvious exits are... blocked by Strong Mad.
- Talk to Homestar. He'll tell you that the Homestarmy doesn't need to stand down, and that he will protect Strong Bad with his life. Whoopee.
- Ask Strong Sad about the King of Town. Strong Sad will tell you he has Strong Bad's old job — checking e-mails. And the King is in no hurry to switch back, apparently.
- Check the board on the table.
Hey, what do you know! The Of Town had his own Maps and Minions game, with pewter pieces of all the Free Country USA inhabitants! Now Strong Bad can order his army to perform missions... except not even the three remaining loyalists will listen to him anymore.
- Stare at the fish skeleton repeatedly until a Teen Girl Squad idea comes to Strong Bad.
- Use your lighter on the unlit candlestick.
- Check the food on the right side of the throne to find the Of Town's spare beard.
- Enter the unguarded door. The King has a Computer Room? Who knew?
- Check the plug under the table. The Of Town's spare crown will pop up. Take it.
- Check his computer. You find the email from the beginning! "Roy T." was the King of Town! This was all a ruse! Chicanery! A heinous plot to get you on the throne! Well, two can play at that game.
- Return to the room and hop on the computer.
- Select "Templates". One of them is for a tax decree.
- Send an email to The Of Town (care of Strong Bad's house), letting him know you've decided to tax his snack cakes. (Doesn't matter how much; it's the principle of the thing!) The Of Town will read the email and become as angry as you were! War is back on!
- If you send an email by selecting "Food Request" and ask anyone for your 'Lectric Boots, a box containing the boots will appear by the computer.
- Return to the main room and select the game board. Strong Bad will decide to help the other side.
Endgame: Maps & Minions
Your side is the Rebel side. You control The Of Town, The Poopsmith, Homsar, The Cheat, and Coach Z. Your opponents are Homestar, Strong Mad, and Strong Sad. You go first.
Each turn, each piece may move to an adjacent territory. If two pieces try to occupy the same space, there is a battle. Unfortunately, Strong Bad's belief that the rebels needed him turns out to be accurate -- they don't win a single battle, and as a result are almost always pushed back one space (or, if they meet Strong Mad, many spaces). The Rebels win when The Of Town crosses the board safely. The Homestarmy wins when one member captures The Of Town.
Fortunately, two of the three Homestarmy members move predictably. If Homestar can see The Of Town, he'll head right to him; otherwise, he'll try to pick off another Rebel piece. Strong Mad patrols back and forth in the two territories right in front of the Castle -- your goal space. Strong Sad's movements are seemingly random, however.
In addition, you have a few other things working your way. Strong Mad's friendship of The Cheat is such that he will stop fighting when he finds him. Strong Sad uses psychological warfare to demoralize your troops, but Homsar's randomness renders him immune. Both of those fights will be draws, which locks off the space and prevents the Homestarmy from moving. In addition, The Poopsmith has a "Fog of War" surrounding him at the start of each turn. Whoever moves into the space The Poopsmith abandons will be invisible to the enemy (and barely able to breathe, but that's a minor concern).
- Have The Poopsmith make a beeline for the other side, with The Cheat in front of him and The Of Town following his stinky trail. Homestar won't be able to capture The Of Town if he can't see him.
- Send Homsar to Strong Sad to keep Strong Sad from stumbling on The Of Town.
- For whatever reason, Homestar prefers to chase Coach Z if given a choice. Send Coach Z to Homestar, then don't move him after the first battle; Homestar will keep chasing the Coach into retreat.
- At the end of the board, use The Cheat to keep Strong Mad busy.
- Let The Poopsmith step aside as soon as Homestar is too far away to catch The Of Town. Homestar will see him, but he can only move one space at a time, which isn't enough to bridge the gap!
- Send The Cheat to An Open Field to find the beret.
- Par is 10 moves, which is needed to achieve Awesomeness.
- The best possible score is 8 moves.
As soon as you win the mini-game, the King of Town storms his own castle and finds Strong Bad, who is all too happy to concede defeat. Through use of reverse psychology, he not only gets The Of Town to return to the throne, but convinces him to repeal the e-mail tax that kicked off the whole campaign! Strong Bad's halfway out the door before The King Of Town realizes he's been had.
Congratulations! You've beaten the game! Now just sit back, enjoy a professional recording of Marzipan's protest song, and get ready for extended mode, where you can put those Cave Girl Squad ideas to good use!
- Use your lighter on the UN model in Marzipan's back yard.
- Now that you have access to the Homsar Reservation again, you can take the Darwin card to it and get a 6000-point comic.
- Go to the House of Strong and get a final insult in on Strong Sad.
- If you haven't already, play some Math Kickers to get an Awesome high score of over 2000 points.
- If you missed talking to any character just before the siege (and, thus, didn't get them at attention), return to Pompomerania and switch the real sword for the fake one. Then use the fake sword on Coach Z, Strong Mad, Pom Pom, or Strong Sad to "knight" them and get them at attention.
- If you've followed this walkthrough to completion, you should attain the rank of Lord High Fantasticus and get the bonus Max Shirt.
Teen Girl Squad Cards
There are four ancient scrolls, each containing an image that gives Strong Bad a great idea for the Teen Girl Squad.
- Tar Pit - On Strong Sad's bookcase
- Dinosaur Egg - Received after signaling with the lighter out Strong Bad's barred window
- Alien - Buried on the Homsar Reservation
- Darwin - In the Ex-fish on the King of Town's wall
Algebros Manual Pages
Strong Bad was brilliant enough to tear the pages out of his Math Kickers manual and hide them around Free Country USA in case... this game... happened.
- Cover - Strong Bad's mailbox
- Page 2 - Marzipan's mailbox
- Page 3 - Under the box by the Picket Fence
- Page 4 - Under the box by the bar in Pompomerania
Flags of the World
There are eight commemorative flags for Strong Bad to find on his conquering adventures.
- Bleak House - In the box on Strong Sad's bed
- The Cheat and Tirerea - Behind the Tire
- Concessionstan - In the bush behind Bubs'
- Strong Badia - Behind the Brick Wall
- Pompomerania - Order two cans of Bull Honkey from the Pompomeranian bar
- Homsar Reservation - In the "mysterious bush" on the Homsar Reservation
- People's Republic of Marzistar/Homezipan - Buried near Marzipan's onion patch
- Country - Buried by the flagpole of Country
Things Set on Fire
There are thirteen flammable items. The ones necessary to win the game are in bold.
- Maps and Minions box
- Strong Sad's Flag
- Bill of Rights
- Strong Bad's bed
- Smoke Detector
- One of Pom Pom's wall-hanging kimonos
- The mysterious bush near Homsar
- Lone skull
- Lonely skull
- Pile of skulls
- The King of Town's candles
- Marzipan's model UN
Strong Sad Names
You can call Strong Sad 13 funny names; most involving the word dump.
- "Little Lord FATleroy" - Talk to Strong Sad while under house arrest
- "Dumpelstiltskin" - Use the pillow on Strong Sad before giving it to the protesters
- "Dumplo" - Talk to him twice about the invisible fence
- "Obsessio Depressio" - Examine the shower
- "Doo-doo-ronomy" - Talk to Strong Sad about joining Strong Badia
- "Your Dumpiness" - Offer Strong Sad the Pilot Wings
- Alternatively, "Your Dumpness" - Ask him again to join Strong Badia
- "Your Grayness" - Ask him once about his nation
- "Lumpy" - Talk to him in his room after conquering his nation
- "Sir Dumpsalot" - Knight him with the fake sword
- "Dr. Dumpington" - Show the tuning fork to Strong Sad at the Homsar Reservation
- "Dumpenheimer" - Use the fake sword on Strong Sad at the Homsar Reservation
- "Dump-tenant" - Talk to Strong Sad in Marzistar
- "Dumpling" - Talk to Strong Sad in Extended Play
In addition to the costume items found while playing Homestar Ruiner, there are seven more costume items to be found, plus one bonus costume item and another hidden shirt.
- Sugar-Frosted Eye Patch - In the Cheat Commandos-Os Box
- Camo Pants - In the dryer
- Gampaw's War Medals shirt - Buried to the left of Strong Badia
- Spare Beard - In the King of Town's Throne-rigerator.
- Crown - Unplug the King of Town's, um, computer.
- 'Lectric Boots - Send an email asking for them. Speedy delivery!
- Beret - Send The Cheat to An Open Field while playing Maps and Minions
- Max Shirt - Attain the "Lord High Fantasticus" rank
- Kevin Bruner Shirt - As with the previous episode, walking underneath the doorway of the photo booth will cause Strong Bad to automatically wear a hidden shirt. Get beneath the booth floor by walking off the right edge three times while not wearing any costume items.
2000 points are necessary for the maximum Awesomeness level.