Senor Mortgage
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Are you having a problem buying a home, or something???
Senor Cardgage has a mortgage commercial. Or something.
Cast (In order of Appearance): Balding Man, Senor Cardgage, Visor Robot
Page Title: Need A Loan??!!
Contents |
Transcript
{We begin with a newspaper background with a balding man in front of it.}
VOICEOVER: ERHT! {buzzing noise}
{NOT APPROVED flashes across the screen and the old man sighs and frowns}
VOICEOVER: Are you having a problem buying a home {thought bubble appears with a blue house in it} or something {another thought bubble appears with a bitten poptart}? Fret no more!
{cut to Senor Cardgage}
SENOR CARDGAGE: Hi there Belindas. I'm Senor Cardgage for Senor Cardgage Mort-gage. {logo appears for senor cardgage mortgage} We can help you get a leg up on the pile! Low rates, percent signs... I dunno... {as Senor Cardgage says this, the words "low rates" and a bunch of percent signs fall from the logo}
VOICEOVER: Bad credit? {the words "BAD CREDIT" appear on the screen, with a frowning face in the A, a thumbs-down in the D of CREDIT, and a blue background with the word "YES!" repeated. The thumbs-down grows larger and changes to a thumbs-up, and the background changes to yellow with the word "YUP!"}
SENOR CARDGAGE: No probalo! {the words "NO PROBALO!" appear in the thumbs-up}
{Cut back to Senor Cardgage in the office.}
SENOR CARDGAGE: Home Lawn, Escrow, Re-Financin' {these words appear in boxes coming out of Senor Cardgage's mouth} -- you name it, we've got it! Come along down for a free canceltation {the words "FREE CANCELTATION" flash for a few seconds} with one of our handsome talking experts {points to empty chair behind him} One o' them said they'd buy me lunch. But I don't see nobody taking me to Chick Fil-A.
{Cut to Visor Robot with a caption that says "Not a Robot!"}
VISOR ROBOT {in a robotic voice}: Senor Cardgage Mort-gage helped consolidate my whole life into this tiny box. Thanks Senor Mort-gage!
{back to Senor Cardgage}
SENOR CARDGAGE: You're every welcome Valerie. Act now {the words "ACT NOW!" flash on the screen} and see if you can stand to talk to me for more than four seconds!
{A countdown appears on screen, counting down from four seconds}
JINGLE SINGERS: Get a leg up on the pile and refinance your dreams! {the words appear on the screen} Come along down and dial {as they sing, the phone number 555-55-55855-55-5-SENOR-MORT-GAGE-TODAY appears on the screen, and the bald guy dances} five five five five five five five eight five five
ROBOT and JINGLE SINGERS: Five five five SENOR-MORT-GAGE-TODAY!
SENOR CARDGAGE: No probalo!
Easter Eggs
- Click on the dollar sign in the 'g' at the end to see a short scene with the Visor Robot.
- {Cut back to the blue room the Visor Robot was standing in with the Visor Robot}
- VISOR ROBOT: Pie right the override seven dash forty deuce. Directive 6R. Malfunction malfunction {head starts to spin and voice speeds up} mars bars mars bars mars bars {repeated until head explodes} My name is not Valerie.
Fun Facts
- This short is making fun of TV mortgage ads, specifically ones that have witty phone numbers that are included in the jingle. (For example "770-915-1234-OPEN-THE-DOOR")
- The phone number 555-55-55855-55-5-SENOR-MORT-GAGE-TODAY would translate as 555-55-55855-55-5-73667-6678-4243-86329. "TODAY" is part of the phone number, but meant to be part of the jingle.
- The jingle has the same chord progression as the Beatles' "Twist and Shout".
- The character that appears in this short is Senor Cardgage, who is not to be confused with Creepy Comb-Over Strong Bad. This is acknowledged by its description in the Toons menu: "Wait, is Senor Cardgage real!?!"
- The cubicle in the background is from dullard and, later, other days.
- Senor Cardgage's creepy comb-over switches sides when he talks to the Visor Robot and again at the very end as he is walking forward while the phone number jingle is being sung.
- The classified ads in the beginning are apparently actual real estate listings for the East Coast. While it's largely illegibile, one can make out headings for Westchester County, New York State, Manhattan, Massachusetts, Vermont, Maine, Maryland, Georgia, and Florida. You can see the unmodified image here.
