Senor Cardgage

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This article is about the creepy mortgage broker and used car salesman. For the blue storybook character, see Señor. For the common misuse of the Spanish word "Señor", see Senor.
"No probalo!"

Senor Cardgage is apparently the creepy guy that lived down the street from the Brothers Strong when they were little, whose extreme sketchiness gave Strong Sad nightmares. He now runs his own mortgage business as well as a used car dealership. His name is pronounced "Seh-nor", not "Seh-nyor", due to the lack of a tilde on the N.

Some of his traits include:

  • Suspiciously coming out of bushes and shrubs just as you walk by
  • Always carrying an old plastic Aldi grocery bag of mysterious contents
  • Loudly eating melty chocolate bars while standing too close to you in lines
  • Smelling like pea soup (according to Homestar Runner)
  • Speaking in phrases that are described by Strong Bad as "almost one word, but not quite another," such as "excardon me" and "exobably not".
  • "Calling at you as if you were a lady," regardless of your gender.

Even though he has a car dealership and a mortgage company, his residence is unknown. It is suggested in Senorial Day and candy product that he is homeless, as he is shown in an alleyway sleeping in a sleeping bag and using his Aldi bag as a pillow, although in the email "kind of cool" Strong Bad implied that he lives behind a bush. Strong Sad said that Senor Cardgage lived down the street when they were little, implying he had a house at one point; however, there is no proof of this or of his current residence, if any. Although it is implied that he is poor, he offers to buy Strong Sad a can of peas at Strong Bad's garage sale for $99, and then proceeds to buy it for himself.

When Strong Bad is asked what he would be like if he was not stylish and buff in the email "kind of cool", he describes "Creepy Comb-Over Story Strong Bad" who is just like Senor Cardgage. Both are, at least to Strong Bad, "so cool, you don't even know [that they are] cool".

As shown in a commercial in theme song, Senor Cardgage got fourteen degrees in the CGNU Online E-niversity during his lunch "take", including one that lets him "legally prescribe marriages in the state of Kansattica".

It is often debated whether Senor Cardgage and "Creepy Comb-Over Story Strong Bad" are the same person or not, but it is notable that during the "Sketchbook" extra on the strongbad_email.exe DVD, The Brothers Chaps refer to this character as Senor Cardgage, and during the commentary for garage sale, they remark, "Ah, good ol' Senor Cardgage. I guess he's a real character now." Also, in the Toons Menu, the description for Senor Mortgage reads "Wait. Is Senor Cardgage real?!"


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